Until all the scars in your heart heal, I'll be here... ― Don't Worry, Yoo Seung Woo
xxxxxx
[Rinako]
"DOES this mean you'll forgive me?"
I stiffened as I heard that question from Setsuji. His voice was full of anticipation, hope... and fear. Yes, I could also sense fear when he asked that question. I don't know how but it seemed as if I became sensitive when it comes to this guy.
Or was it called empathic?
Okay. Right at this moment, I couldn't tell.
I removed both of my hands that I placed on both sides of Setsuji's neck. I didn't remove my gaze from him as I did so. It looked like he was truly expecting a positive answer from me.
And who was I to deny that from him?
"Do you think you'd still see me here in this room if I haven't forgiven you? It seems like your mind is still having a hard time processing information, huh?" I sighed. I smiled soon after, something that I could tell had surprised Setsuji. "You're frustrating me because of that, you know?"
"Riko-chan..."
"And you're insistent, too. I said not to call me by name. And yet you created a nickname. You want to own me that much?"
He just shrugged, but the weakness in his action when he did that was obvious. "I just couldn't stop my heart from doing so. You're the only one who has this effect on me, you know?"
Okay... I didn't expect that. And he had to blame his heart for that? Maybe this jerk was still delirious or something.
"You're joking again. Maybe try to find where your mind wandered off for now. You're saying weird things again." I just joked around when my heart started beating fast again because of what this guy was saying.
"You still hadn't answered my first question," he said somberly. A far answer from the retort that I was expecting from him.
I looked at Setsuji. I did so for a few moments before I took a deep breath. "Do I have to say it out loud for you to know the true answer? Mitsuta, you won't see me here in your room if I haven't forgiven you until now. And I believe I said that earlier."
"Maybe I wasn't listening or my mind hadn't fully absorbed it," he softly said.
"Obviously," I responded in sarcasm. I even rolled my eyes before sighing. "But it's okay. Besides, I said the same thing to you when we were by the Promise Tree. If you don't see me here beside you or near you once you woke up, it only means that I truly don't care about you anymore. Even if you end up dying, I wouldn't give a damn care." I exhaled soon after.
No one between us spoke any word after that. I ended up looking at him since that situation between us was truly unusual. My eyes widened as I saw him sit on the carpeted floor as if his energy was drained. I found myself approaching him and asking him what happened and if he was okay.
But it seemed that the sight of Setsuji crying in front of me froze me to the spot.
Again.
"Mitsuta..." What was this? How come I couldn't think of anything to say at the moment?
I hate seeing this guy like this. Even if he was the most irritating guy I've met and entered my life, I never wished to see him suffer this way.
"I got scared, you know... that you would truly leave me after what I've done to you. What exactly made you decide to stay?"
Again, I became speechless upon hearing that. What prompted me to stay beside him now that he was already awake?
And then I remembered the reason my mind had conjured—the reason that I hoped would help Setsuji for the better.
"I'm here beside you right now because I want to see with my own eyes that you will fulfill the one thing you have to promise to me," I answered, making Setsuji frown.
Maybe he got all confused with all the words I've spoken at the moment.
"Promise me one thing, Mitsuta. You got to stop hurting others relentlessly. More than a year is enough for your heart to be surrounded with guilt. Nothing good will come if you continue hurting others like this. Only you will end up suffering because of this."
Setsuji didn't say anything for a few moments before shaking his head. "I don't know... I'm not even sure if I can let it go easily just because—"
"But you have to. It's the only way for you to find peace. If me staying by your side is one thing you need just for you to stop your senseless vengeance spree, then I'll stay with you. I promise you that. Just... stop hurting others and most of all, stop torturing yourself," I reasoned out.
Yeah, I know. This was truly getting dramatic. But at that point, I didn't care. The important thing to me at the moment was for Setsuji to stop getting tortured like this.
I wasn't doing all this because of other people's favors and requests. I knew at that moment that I was doing and going through all this convincing and other efforts because of Setsuji. Everything I said to him was all truth.
I sighed when he didn't say anything. I approached him even more and knelt in front of him. Without hesitation, I wiped the tears that streaked down his face.
"I'm telling you the truth. Don't ever doubt that. Just promise me that and I'll fulfill my promise to you—that I'll stay with you," I said as I smiled at him. "Okay?"
I just found myself wrapped in Setsuji's tight embrace while he was kneeling. My smile widened even though I could feel myself about to cry as I felt his nod and he whispered "I promise" in my ear.
And without pretenses, I returned his embrace to the same degree.
As Setsuji's tears started to fall again as he embraced me longer, I knew they didn't just fall on my shoulder. They also fell on my heart, watering it somehow. Well, figuratively speaking, that is.
The tears of fulfilling a promise... The moonlight witnessed the way they've fallen, together with the twinkle of the stars.
And I knew that it would forever stay in my mind... and would leave its ineradicable mark in my heart.