Sigh, why am I feeling so lonely today. I mean... of course I've always been this lonely. I clench my hand to my chest as I stare at the sky.

Today the summer sky looks normal like always. Blue with fluffy clouds that comes in many shapes. Sighing again, I wonder why I'm not use to this yet after all these years. It feels very lonely, I don't remember when was the last time I have a real conversation with a person. Life feels very boring.

When I was a kid all the friends that I made always left because I was not fashionable enough. I think I lost my confidence ever since I wear glasses. None of my classmate wears glasses except me, it made me feel insecure. Our school is very small, but it has elementary to middle grades. Basically, me and my classmate saw each other grow up. I use to be very fashionable, but this glasses here really ruin everything. I lost my confidence, including my friends. The problem is not only because of my glasses that made my friends left. The problem is probably because I became very quiet as I'm a no confidence girl anymore. I lost my interest in styling. A low ponytail with glasses everyday. Probably that is when I begin to look ugly in people eyes. I became very distance as a kid at age 8.

I did have one friend that stick with me since the beginning though. Me and her became good childhood friend. She's the loud one while I'm the very quiet one. We were very close to the point where we both would tell each other secrets though sometimes she seems to be a bit strange.

Finally, I graduate middle school hoping that I will have a better life in high school. I guess I'm wrong on that. My childhood friend went to a different high school and we both just don't really interact after that.

In the beginning of high school, I did make a lot of friends even though I don't really talk much. As a few month has passed by, I also found love and he's in that friend group of mine. Me and him both ended up dating. Everything was sweet, and we both would text each other every day. At the end we both ended it after 3 months because of my lack of secureness. That day when we broke up, he agreed right away. I always wonder how he actually felt that day.

When the year almost end, my friends they all ended up leaving the friend group because they each have their own problems and drama. I was left alone again. My ex-boyfriend we both are still in good-term, but just not close anymore. We all are like strangers, walking pass each other through the hallway to our classes.

And now here I am... all alone standing on the side of a river. Four years has passed already and now I'm a senior. I started building a wall of bricks each time a person talk to me. It's as if I want to be alone now because of what I experience. I'm a serious person and it's hard for me to be friends with people who jokes and leave.

I hope that things will get better soon. Maybe a miracle...?