Chereads / The Pros and Cons of Immortality / Chapter 23 - Speedrunning the Twelve Labors Part Three

Chapter 23 - Speedrunning the Twelve Labors Part Three

"Bitch! How about you fucking aim!" Arthur strikes the bull by its horns, redirecting its strike to the ground, arrows grazes at his cheek, embedding itself at a bird.

A smug Artemis stood above the trees as she replies. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Then stop trying to hit my face, dammit!" He shouts, dodging to the side as another bird aims for his legs, an arrow hitting right below his crotch. "That was way too close!"

Artemis aims. "Not my fault, you suck."

"Oh? I'm sorry." Arthur gives her the fakest smile possible, looking at the charging bull, redirecting its charges with his sword, slamming it against the tree she's standing on.

She jumps off. "Don't let it get to me!"

Arthur's sword lightens up, smashing the birds in her direction. "How about you stop sucking? And git gud? Not my fault, you suck!" He grins at her.

Artemis twitches at the jest, arrows appearing on her bow as she aims at him. "I'll show you my capability, boy. Maybe you'll learn your place?"

Arthur's chest burns as heat gathers at his mouth, which is curling into a smirk. His sword burning up in challenge. "Do it, you old spinster."

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Attie was dead. Dead tired, she doesn't know how long she's been running. Has it been a kilometer? A few kilometers? The magic that sustained her meant little when every muscle in her body aches like a wound.

The Hind then stop in front of her, nudging her face as it scoffs. Attie slaps it away. "Fuck off, will you? Or do you want to get captured?"

The hind huffs, crouching beside her as Attie looks to its legs. Her mind stuck on its form, murmuring to herself, "Should I also use my arms?"

The hind gives a shrug, or whatever the closest thing is to a shrug, gesturing her to run before it dashes away, leaving her behind to her thoughts as a voice spoke behind her.

"You know, that form of yours is from me." Remulus crouches beside her. A smile on his face as he pats her back, "It's barely in its first form, you know?"

She scoffs, "Yeah, obviously. Never once saw the fucking bitch do anything close to it. What do you call it, anyway?"

"Super Dark Destroyer Epic Form." Remulus winks at her. "You gotta respect it, my cute daughter." He gives his hand to her. "It's powered by your very soul."

She sighs, grabbing her hand as she stands. "Then how the fuck am I supposed to power it up then?"

"I can show you? If you want?"

"Yeah, I want it!" Attie shouts, her hand clenches in excitement.

Remulus nods, "Gods hate him because of this one simple trick." He locks eyes with her for a long time before opening his mouth that left Attie furious.

"Athena did nothing wrong." He states, hand up as a fist smashes against his open palm. His daughter glaring at him, intent on killing him with her eyes. "See? Also note to self: Find therapy."

Attie nods, dashing off in a blur, breaking through her limit.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

"That's three Labors done! Yay!" Party poppers explode in his hand. "I'm so proud of all of you! This is an absolute delight! To have all of you finish this at five hours!"

The party poppers explode over a group of groaning men and women. Arthur's head stuck on the ground as he holds a hand over his ribs. "I really hate you so much."

Artemis scoffs after falling off the tree, her mortal body aching just as much. "Shut up, we wouldn't be suffering like this if you just took it like a man."

"Go fuck yourself, you had." Arthurs bites back. All semblance of a crush had gone as he glared at the goddess before him. "And you know what!"

"What!?" Artemis glares.

"I'll be a better archer than you'll ever be."

She scoffs, "Good luck. Kiddo."

Attie trudges back, a hind on her back as her form dissipates beneath her. "Hey, I'm back!" She falls down, head first. "My legs and arms hurt."

"Great! Awesome!" He then snaps his fingers. "Let's eat!"

The world around them shudders. Remulus shouts. "Cutie, take them back! We'll have to start eating, to gain all these lost calories."

Portal beneath them opens, everyone around him falling through a portal.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

A cacophony of thuds was all that followed. Remulus stepping through behind them, the beautiful garden coming into their sight as they look up.

Remulus chirps, "I cooked everyone a feast!"

He sat down besides, a blonde, beautiful woman, her smile radiant as she sat beside another younger one. "It's nice to meet you again, Remulus. I brought Kore with me. I hope that's fine."

"Oh please, this is your garden! I'm just glad you would even allow to do this in your domain." He glances at the woman beside her, a cute, demure young lady, wearing a bright sundress.

He chirps, "And Kore is always welcome. Attie would be delighted to see the two of you."

Demeter chuckles to herself, "Well, I'm more excited to meet you."

"Well, I'm flattered but." She hugs him, his head burying in her bountiful chest. "Yeah.... What was I talking about again?"

Arthur trudges behind him. "Your dignity, father. You were talking about your dignity."

Attie scoffs, her shoulders slumping. "Bull shit. You can't lose what you never have."

Artemis rolls her eyes. "Oh please, you kids are over reacting."

Arthur shouts, "No one asked you, hag!"

"Well, neither did I brat!" She glares at him before a smirk forms on her face. She waves her hair to the side. "And besides, I heard what you said about me. Is this one of those things, boys do to their crushes."

"That was before you opened you mouth!"

Kore then stood up, a cute smile on her face. "Now, now. Everyone please kindly go to your seats. We can't just let these foods go."

Attie and Artemis freeze in fear before fervently nodding. "Got it."

Remulus peeks from the soft mound of flesh. "Tomorrow's going to be fun."