Alternative Title: Eternal Life Amidst the Endless White Snow
…
Aaron Toole's Soliloquy
…
I have always been weak. For as long as I could remember, I always thought of myself as weak. Physically? No, I was alright in that regard. However, mentally and emotionally? I was as fragile as a baby and a glass cup. Most things said to me bothered me. I wouldn't lash out, cry or make a scene if something bothered me, but…it did hurt me, more than it should.
When I died…all the memories of my previous life flooded into my head. All the things I've once forgotten came back to me, all the feelings and thoughts I once had came back to me. I felt relieved and at the same time…I felt like shit because I remembered everything.
Aoife…she was like all the 'Fated Ones' combined together. How I managed to date such an amazing person when I myself was a mess—it still doesn't make sense to me, but…when I do wake up again, I'll bring her back, whether she likes it or not…I'm sorry, please let me selfish this one time with the new power I'll have.
…Or twice, since I won't let Azathoth fade away that easily. She started this rodeo, and I'll make her finish it.
…
Third Person Point of View
…
"Aaron~ come to mommy~," said a woman. She clapped while encouraging a young toddler to walk towards her.
"Don't baby him. If he's old enough to walk, he's old enough to learn," said a stern voice.
"…He's too young for that. Let him have a childhood," replied the woman.
These two were Róisín Toole and Aden Toole, the mother and father of 4-year-old Aaron Toole. Even at this young age, his father, Aden Toole was already quite strict with him. However, as recommended by his own father and doctor, he would wait until Aaron was 6 to start getting him ready to take over their business empire.
Aden Toole was all about efficiency, he disliked things down half-heartedly and only spoke business. He married his wife, Róisín Toole, or formerly known as Róisín Kavanagh. Her family were well off, not rich, but still had connections. They were a middle-class family that rose in social status because of certain connections that Róisín's father had made.
"Once that thing is 6-years-old, I will have it start learning and being tutored. It will be brought up like me, and if you try to stop me, I will make your life a living hell, as well as that thing, do I make myself clear?" asked Aden.
Róisín said nothing. She didn't confirm nor deny what her husband had said. But to Aden, to him, it meant that she agreed with him. So he left the room to start writing down the plans for his son. Once he was gone, Róisín hugged her son.
"Mommy loves you, okay? I'll always call you by your name, and not as 'it' or 'thing', like that monster…" she muttered to the young Aaron who had no idea what his mother was talking about.
…
When people turn four- to six-years-old, some speculate that is when you gain some self-awareness. For the young Aaron Toole, this happened around when he was six years old. Once he was that age, he started to understand the advantages he had and also the disadvantages he had.
He knew that he was born into a very, very rich family, he would have opportunities like no one else his age. He had his own private tutor, he had very extravagant and expensive meals. He had a room that was the size of some people's house or even multiple rooms in their houses.
However, Aaron was also aware of the disadvantages he had. Because he was tutored from a young age, and taught many things, he was a lot more mature than his peers. He knew…that he didn't have a loving father, or grandfather or grandmother on his father's side. But…
He knew that his mother, Róisín Toole loved him. He also knew that the maid that was assigned to him, Cindy Byrne also loved him and looked after him. While Aaron hadn't seen or met his grandparents from his mother's side—he would like to think that they were the same loving people like his mother was.
He saw no fault in his mother and maid as they were the few in his life that showed him any kind of love and affection, so he became emotionally reliant on them.
Today like any other day, he was being taught by his tutor. Aaron was thankful that he was gifted with his father's intelligence and tenacity, but also his mother's kind and caring personality. However, he also knew that a part of his father's personality was in him. However, he had no idea of the full extent of it.
A year prior, Aaron met his best friend for life, Ryan Dunster. They were both five years old at the time, but the two of them quickly became friends and so did both of their mothers. In that one-year time span, Aaron and Ryan became close friends and so did their mothers, Róisín confided in Ryan's mother about her marriage and husband and his abuse towards her and her son.
While Ryan's mother couldn't do anything, she emotionally supported Róisín and that was enough for her.
Further along the year, a certain accident happened that made the two boys even closer to each other. One day, Aaron was allowed outside after his mother begged his father. Aaron showed how much he appreciated it and to Róisín Toole, seeing the smile on her son's face…it was enough, even if she had to get on her hands and knees to bed.
"You were allowed out?" Ryan asked, genuinely shocked by this.
"My mom's the best, that's why! So, what do you want to do?" asked Aaron as he puffed up his chest.
"We can play some football in the park, and then go to the playground," suggested Ryan.
Aaron agreed and they made their way there with Ryan's mother and Cindy, Aaron's maid who was asked by Róisín to accompany Aaron. Róisín herself had other business that day and couldn't accompany him.
Once the two boys got there, they began to play. Like any normal six-year-old, they passed, kicked and shot the football around the park, minding their own business and trying not to get in people's way. Since it was the weekend, there were many people in the park.
Cindy and Ryan's mother sat on a bench not too far from them as they spoke to one another. These two also became good friends as Cindy frequently accompanied Róisín during their outings with Aaron.
However, as the two children ran towards the playground and started to play there, teenagers around the age of fourteen to sixteen years old came up to them and tried to steal the football from them. Obviously, Aaron and Ryan didn't let it happen. They grabbed their ball and stood away from the teenagers.
"Ah, c'mon lads, don't be like that. Let's play a bit of footie. You two against two of us, how about it?" asked one of the teenagers with a snicker.
Ryan was still naïve, but he was also scared of older kids. However, Aaron at a young age had already become a bit jarred with life as his father never showed him love and would frequently yell at him if he made any kind of mistake.
Because of that, he had learned to read people quite early on. He knew who would be genuine, and who wasn't. The teenagers in front of him right now were not being genuinely nice, they were faking it. He also knew that they just wanted their ball for themselves.
—Selfish. That's what Aaron thought of these teenagers. They were selfish and mean. Aaron glanced at Cindy and Ryan's mother. Cindy had noticed and had started to look at Aaron which made Ryan's mother do the same thing.
"No," replied Aaron. "Ryan, let's go." He grabbed his friend's arm and started to walk away with him, but the teenagers blocked their way.
"Oh come on, don't be like that, let's—" Before he could finish his sentence, Aaron threw the ball at the teenager.
"Let's go. It's mine and I can afford as many as I want," he told his friend again and they went around them.
Aaron knew his father would ask him why his ball was missing, and even if he told him what had happened, he knew that he would become angry. He knew his father would want him to stand up to them, even fight them. But Aaron didn't want to do that. His friend was there, and he didn't want him to be hurt. So they left, but—
The teenager was clearly annoyed by the child. He didn't like being disrespected, and having a ball thrown at him pissed him off enough to kick Aaron in the back, knocking him to the ground.
"Piece of shit, you think you're mad, huh? You think just because you can get a lot of footballs makes you better than me?" he asked in anger.
Ryan was horrified and looked at his friend with worry. Aaron got up and dusted himself off. He began walking away again while pulling Ryan with him. He glanced back at the teenagers and saw that this annoyed them even more.
With the smug grin of a six-year-old he turned around and said, "Yeah, I am better than you."
This snapped something inside the teenager. "Kill him," he told his friends and they ran towards Aaron and Ryan.
"A-A-A-A-Aaron…!" Ryan shouted in horror, but he saw his friend shake his head. As the teenagers were about to reach them, a taller figure appeared in front of him.
"That will be as far as you go," said Cindy as she stood in front of the teenagers.
"Huh? Who the fuck are you?" asked one of the teens. He then clicked his tongue. "Get out of my way you dry old pussy!" he shouted at Cindy and tried to walk around her.
"He's dead," said Aaron.
"Huh? Why?" asked Ryan.
"…I've known Cindy for a long time now and I know for a fact that you…don't bring her age up or how she's single, unless you want to die or end up hurt," replied Aaron. Ryan tried to turn around but he prevented him. "I suggest you don't."
Seconds later, both of them heard horrified screams from the teenagers and then all of them running away. Aaron glanced back and saw that the leader of their group held his wrist as if in pain. Cindy didn't do anything drastic; she simply grabbed the young teenager's wrist…and squeezed it.
However, Cindy is and was a force of nature, and her grip strength was like no other, so it definitely hurt the young teenager. Even if she held back, it would still hurt.
Ryan's mother ran over to her son and checked him for any injuries, but he didn't receive any. Aaron stood there and reassured her that Ryan was fine, and Cindy eventually joined them after watching the teenagers run away.
"Are you okay, Master Aaron?" Cindy asked as she crouched down and started checking him for injuries.
"Right, they pushed you, Aaron! Are you okay?" Ryan's mother also asked him and also helped check him for injuries.
He smiled and nodded his head. "Yes, I'm fine. He only kicked me once, and the gravel there helped soften the impact. So apart from some tiny marks from the gravel, I'm fine."
Even after he told them that, Cindy checked him several times before she was satisfied. Once that was over, they stayed there for a few more hours before they headed home. Cindy had gotten a text message from Róisín that she had arrived home and was waiting outside of their home.
"It seems Lady Róisín has arrived home. She is waiting outside for us…your father won't be home for a week, Master Aaron," Cindy told the young child.
"I see…" Aaron replied. He knew that it wouldn't make a difference whether he was in their home or not since they rarely interacted. The only interaction between them was Aden Toole shouting at his son or berating him for some kind of failure on his part.
Once they reached their driveway, Róisín ran over to Aaron and embraced him. She then began checking his body.
"Mom I'm—"
"No, no, no, no…who was that boy? What was his name? Do we know anything about him? What about his parents? Their jobs? Previous places of employment?" Róisín asked several questions to Aaron and Cindy.
"We can look into it if you wish, Lady Róisín," said Cindy. Aaron knew both of them were upset. He knew how much they cared about him.
He sighed and said, "Cindy…mom…I'm fine, really, you don't need to go that far."
"No, no, no, no…a witch hunt—!" Róisín began muttering to herself like a crazy person and both Aaron and Cindy stood there.
"You know how she is, Master Aaron. Once Lady Róisín becomes like this, there's no stopping her."
"No, there is," replied Aaron. He tugged on his mother's hand and she looked back at him. He showed his mother his best puppy-dog expression and said, "…Please drop this…?"
Róisín Toole fell silent for a few seconds before she hugged Aaron. "Okay! If my baby says so!" she then began fawning over him. Aaron without turning around gave Cindy a thumbs up and she started giggling.
…
Aaron Toole's Soliloquy
…
Being born into a family like this has its own advantages and disadvantages. At an early age, I learned that. Last year was full of many good and bad things. I would say more of bad since my dad became a bit more verbally abusive towards me and my mom. However, I tried to stay away from him as much as I could.
I would only interact with him if it was necessary. I would accept the yelling, the berating and other abuse. But I would speak up if he targeted my mother and Cindy. Those two were the light of my life, they showed me affection that I was supposed to get, unlike my father and grandparents on his side, they were and are very cold people.
There were no signs of loving warmth from them. They were all about business. When I asked mom and Cindy about it once, they said it was a generational thing—they were the product of an old era and how they were raised.
However, my mom also said that she didn't want me to be raised like that, so she did her best in showering me with love, as did Cindy. The other maids and butlers here were too scared to do that, so they would be reluctant in doing so.
An older butler did try…but soon after he disappeared. I assumed he left, or was fired, but I saw him once…as a homeless person and he just looked sad and defeated. He ran away from us. The look of fear he had towards my dad was something I wouldn't forget, so my dislike for him only increased from there.
Today, my father was away on some kind of business trip across the country, so I could leave after I finished my studies and tutoring for the day. And that's what I did. With my mom's permission (to which she always says yes), I left my home and went to the park. I had asked my mom to ask Ryan's mom to meet me there and they agreed, so I should find my friend there.
Once I got there, I saw…a bunch of kids around my age in a circle. Curious, I walked over and pushed my way through as they chanted 'fight' over and over again. But when I got there, I saw my friend being kicked over and over again by some other kid. So I ran over and pushed him away, and helped my friend up.
"Ryan? What happened?" I asked him as he shook, his face bloody and bruised. Seeing that I felt my entire body heat up.
"I…was just waiting here for you with my football you gave me as a present this year. Then he and some other kids came over demanding to have it, I said no, so we went back and forth before they hit me—well, that guy you pushed hit me," he explained to me.
I looked over at the other kid I pushed over and he had gotten up. He looked very angry at me and ran towards me. There were a few instances that I was grateful to my dad, but this was one of them. He forced me to learn self defense, martial arts and of course, be constantly exercising so he wouldn't have a 'fatass' for a son.
Well, I held the same sentiment. I also didn't want to be fat, though I had my own reasons for it, and they weren't just to impress him or cater to him.
The boy ran at me and threw a punch, but I easily deflected it from a move I learned in my classes. One of the key things we're taught is only to use what we're taught as a last resort and as self-defense, because what we're taught can cause a lot of damage to someone that's unsuspecting.
I'm only seven-years-old after all, so I can't do that much damage, right?
I kept dodging and deflecting his advances on me and he eventually became tired. He looked even more angry and made a gesture with his thumb. I then heard Ryan's shout as several others grabbed him and began beating him.
"Let him go," I told them.
"Like we'd do that, dumbass!" one of the kids shouted and stuck his tongue at me. The others joined him and laughed.
I was distracted by this and the other kid tackled me, got on top of me and began throwing punches at my face. I received a few and then covered my face with my hands and protected myself. But I kept hearing more of Ryan's cries and he was also beaten by the other kids.
"This is what you get for stopping me beating that pussy!" the other kid said and kept attacking me. "I'm rich, so I can do whatever I want!"
Ah, I see…so that's how it is. He's a spoiled kid just like me. However, instead of having some kind of parental figure teach him about humility, he was spoiled rotten by one or both of them.
My mom taught me to never take anything for granted. The things I have are something many people in the world would want, a stable life with a lot of money, a nice big home and other luxuries we have. So…I took it to heart. Even Ryan's family who were well off, but not rich, didn't brag about it, nor did Ryan.
He was a kind and fun-loving guy. That's how we became friends so quickly, also…we had some similar interests (football) and we bonded quickly over that. I didn't like hearing him in pain, or anyone. I like being bullied.
"Hey, how about we shove a stick in his eye?" asked one of the kids.
The one attacking me laughed and said, "Why not? That'll teach him not to mess with me."
After I heard that, something in me snapped. Everything after that felt like a blur. With a single move, I broke free from his grip. Immediately I kicked him balls. He fell to the ground clutching his private area screaming. With all my seven-year-old power, I stopped on his leg, snapping it, enticing another scream.
Next, I kicked him in the head. After that, I did the same thing to his arm which also snapped like a twig. As his screams got louder, I kicked him in the head, knocking him out. Finally, I did what they wanted to do to Ryan. I picked up a stick and shoved it into the main instigators ass. I then kicked him a few more times before I turned to the others and attacked them for hurting Ryan.
Most of them ran away before I could get them, except for two, to which I also did the same thing to them. The kids that were around us ran away screaming and crying. This commotion finally got the attention of the adults and they saw the aftermath.
Ryan was crying, the other kids were screaming in the distance, three other kids were beaten up, two had light injuries, as I did snap their arms or legs, but the last one, the one that I called the 'leader' was the one who was hurt the most.
The adult there was horrified. I stood in the middle, perfectly fine and the parents and of the other children were called. After trance-like state, I finally came back to my sense, when I looked around me…everything felt strange.
I didn't think I had that sort of anger in me, but in a way, it scared me. But I couldn't dwell too long about it since the garda (police) came and so did the rest of the parents, my mom and Cindy were included in that.
…
A few hours passed, and those same parents tried to press charges on me—a seven-year-old kid, but my dad made them disappear very quickly. Even as a young child…I knew he had a lot of power in our world. Everyone either respected or feared him. I don't think he had a lot of 'real' friends, just business partners.
Right now…we were in his office. The business trip he had across the country was cut short since he had to deal with the fall out of my incident. We had stood there (My mom, Cindy and I) in his office in silence.
"Aaron…do you have any idea on what you did?" he asked in an ice-cold voice.
He was looking at his desk and both his hands which were rested on his forehead blocked our view of his face, so we had no idea how he looked like right now. But from his tone of voice alone, we knew that he as angry, probably even livid at the situation.
"Yes sir," I replied.
"Dear, we should—"
"Shut up! I was talking to him!" my dad roared at my mother making her flinch and back down.
"Now, because of my connections and power, I could make those charges they wanted to file on you disappear, but…I suggest you control that side of you from now on. Do you hear me?" he asked. He then looked up at me. His eyes were…crazy, and a wide grin was plastered on his face.
"I had my doubts, but today's events confirmed them for me. You DO have a small piece of me inside of you. That rage—my rage, my hate—how much I loathe this world. It's perfect. Cultivate it and make it yours—my son! After today, I expect many great things from you!" he bellowed, and had an ecstatic look on his face.
He called me 'son' for the first time. Most kids would be overjoyed, yet…I only felt contempt and disgust towards the man. If whatever came out of me was from him, I never wanted it to come out again. If it came from that man, who calls himself my 'father', I would rather cast it aside.
He finally dismissed us after scolding my mother for around thirty minutes. We walked in silence until we stepped into my room. I sat on my bed, but my mom knelt down in front of me and Cindy stood in front of the door facing us.
"Aaron…can you promise me something?" she asked. She took my hand into her hands and started stroking them.
"Promise? …What do you want me to promise?" I asked my mom. I hadn't heard her talk like this in all my time alive so far.
She stopped stroking my hand before she hugged me. "Please don't fight anymore, I don't want to believe any part of that man is in you, he may…have been the biological factor into bringing you into this world, but anything more than that…"
She didn't finish her sentence as she began to sob. I didn't really understand what she meant. However, the thing I understood was that if I fought anymore, it would make her sad, so…
"I won't fight anymore, mom. I'll take the beating if I have to," I told her and hugged her back. I hadn't noticed but I had also started crying too.
"Thank you…" she muttered.
From that day onward, no matter what I was subjected to, I wouldn't raise my fist, nor my voice to others. If it's for the fake of my mom's happiness, I'd do that much for her. She always showed me love after all. It's the least I could do.
My friendship with Ryan got better and he also wanted to start getting stronger since he didn't want to be in that kind of situation anymore, so I gave him a small note on what I did to stay in shape. I took into account what he had access to and his family's financial situation.
…
A year later, when we were both eight years old, something happened that changed my life forever. It was like any other day. My relationship with my dad was the same, the one with my mom and Cindy was better than ever, the same with Ryan.
We decided to go to a small tennis court in town. It wasn't too far from where the park was so with both our parents' permission, we made our way there. We didn't have any interest in tennis, nor did we plan on playing.
We walked by a small corner shop and turned left, once there it was another street filled with park cars, the further we went, the more houses and cars we saw, but eventually we saw a small area with tall green wire-like fences, it had a giant tree in the middle and there were a few tennis courts built into it too, there were also two basketball hoops at each end seemingly put in so that both sports could be played when the nets for tennis were taken down.
"That's it?" I asked.
"Yeah, if you bring your own tennis ball and racket, you can just play. You don't need to pay a fee or anything," replied Ryan. "But it looks like there's a group or something playing today. Let's just watch."
I agreed with him and we went over there to the area. Once we got there, we watched the people there play. Most of them were adults and elderly people, but they seemed to be having fun as they tried their best to play tennis. Ryan and I watched for a few minutes. A few of them noticed us and asked if we wanted to try.
Ryan…ended up joining them, but I decided to sit it out. He was having fun and seemed to be enjoying himself. However, someone sat down next to me and I glanced at them for a moment. It was someone our age. She had bright red hair that internally fades to orange, it looked like her entire head was set aflame and she had cool blue eyes that stared into my soul when our eyes met.
"Hi!" she said with a bright smile.
"…Hello?" I greeted her back.
"You don't want to play tennis?" she asked and titled her head.
"I…thought it was an organized group, so we decided to watch, but then my friend joined so I was just confused. But…I guess I just don't have an interest in the game?" I replied. In honesty, I don't know why I didn't join. I had no real reason, so I made that up on the spot.
"Hmm…" she said and kept staring at me. I looked back at the group playing, but a few seconds later I felt someone grab my arm.
I looked back at the girl and it was her. She stood there with her bright smile and said, "I'm Aoife, my parents are also playing! I'll teach you!"
"H-huh? Wait, I never—" She didn't finish or wait for me to give her an answer, she pulled me away and I was forced to play with everyone.
As I did, I heard many people saying something about Aoife catching another one and won't let them go. I understood that it was in her nature to help people. She was a bit nosy and a busy body, but…I also understood that she couldn't help it, she wanted to help people.
So we played tennis for the remainder of our time over there. At the end of that session, Ryan and I were exhausted. So was Aoife as she was on her knees smiling at laughing at me.
"See? I knew you would enjoy it," she said still smiling.
"…Well, it wasn't bad…" I replied.
"I'm dying…help me…!" muttered Ryan as he lay on his back.
"What's your names?" she asked us.
"Ry…an…" muttered my friend in between breaths.
"Aaron."
"…Ryan and Aaron. Hey, let's be friends! I live just around—" She started telling us about where she lived, and what school she attends. She attended the one in Dun Laoghaire, but we went to the one in the village beyond here.
"…We…plan…on…going…to…that…Secondary school…next…to…our…elementary one…," said Ryan.
"Really? I'm going there too! I guess we're going to be classmates soon!" she said again with a smile. She was always smiling, that's one thing I couldn't forget.
After we spoke for another thirty-ish minutes before we parted ways. After Ryan and I got our stamina and breath back, we made our way home too.
"Aoife, huh? She's a happy person," said Ryan.
"Yeah. She kept on smiling the entire time," I told her.
"Oh? …Hmmm…" Ryan looked at me with a smile too, but it wasn't like Aoife's, it was more like…a teasing one?
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing…anyway, I'll get going, my mom's meeting me at that store over there. See you tomorrow or whenever!" he shouted before running off.
"Yeah, bye…"
At the time, I didn't know that the wheels of fate started turning for me. That was the first time I met Aoife Murphy.
…
A year passed since my meeting with Aoife, and we had run across each other a lot of times. Many times, when Ryan and I were out together or when I decided to go out by myself. Each and every time Aoife would join us on our adventures in town.
Ryan also told me that he'd leave us alone if she ever showed up. I don't know if he thought I was stupid or something, but I understood what he meant. He had started to push me and Aoife together more and more. I think in a way he thought we'd make a couple. We were nine-years-old. We weren't exactly mature or old enough for things like that, but Aoife also acted differently around me.
When it was all three of us together, we acted like hyperactive chipmunks on LSD and crack cocaine. Nothing could stop us since we were hyper and bounced off the walls everywhere we went. Heck, I think the entire town knew us at this point since every place or shop we went into recognized us by name.
But when it was just me and Aoife, we were a lot calmer, quieter and reserved. I don't know if it was Ryan or what, but if it's all three of us we were really hyper. But when it only involved Aoife and I, we were a lot calmer and when this happened, the adults and shopkeepers would comment like: 'Oh, the couple's out today, no third-wheeler, huh?' or something along those lines.
Today…was one of those days. Ryan was busy and couldn't come out and hang out with us, so it was just Aoife and I. But since the start of our time together today, she had been very fidgety and antsy. I tried asking about it, but she told me it was nothing, so I left it at that.
"Aaron, can we go over there?" Aoife asked and pointed to a certain place.
"…Isn't that the local homeless shelter?" I asked while eyeing the place.
Aoife nodded and said, "I helped with my aunt last month, and I wanted to see how everyone was doing. I've gone back a few times already…can we go?"
She looked up at me with those puppy-dog eyes and it made the corners of my mouth twitch. "F-fine…" I relented, so we went over there.
…
A couple of hours passed and we had stayed there helping out with various things. I didn't expect to spend my day off like this. However, Aoife seemed to be enjoying herself, and the staff here as well as the homeless were really interesting, so I wasn't that bothered by it. One of them even showed me how to do origami which was neat.
"Aaron," one of the homeless guys called out to me. I think his name was Tom? I walked over to him.
"Yes? Did you need help with something?" I asked.
"Aoife…she's a good kid. She helped her aunt last month. Her aunt said that she'll come back again next month so I think Aoife will come back here again, but I think the older she gets she'll go here by herself," he told me. I wasn't sure what he was getting at.
"I'll be blunt kid. She likes you, you know, romantically? I know both of you are still young, but you should see what you feel about her starting from now on. I can see that she'll be someone amazing when she's older—and the older you get, that's the kind of thing men find attractive. I'm not saying I'm attractive to a kid, but those qualities in her are…just good, you understand?"
He was drunk. I saw him drinking earlier, so this was probably just the drunken ramblings of a fool, but nonetheless, I agreed to whatever he said to appease him. He then…fell back on his bed and passed out.
I pinched my nose and walked away. I'll never understand the appeal of alcohol and I doubt I'd ever have any as I get older. One of the other reasons was that my dad drank a lot, but his alcoholic rampages never got physical, as far as I could remember. But if he did hit mom then…
A loud sound brought me out of my own thoughts. I looked around and saw that someone—a drunk homeless guy had thrown something at a wall. Aoife was near it and she looked scared, so I rushed over. He was babbling incoherent garbage, so we didn't understand what upset him, so another staff member told us they would deal with it, so we moved to a different area.
"Are you okay?" I asked as I held her hand and moved away.
"…Yeah, I'm fine. I know they're struggling so I won't be upset at them. I know that they'll get out of this and be in a better place soon. Anyway, let's go help the rest and then we can leave. I'm sorry for dragging you into this," said Aoife.
"…Nah, it's fine. It's been fun, so…"
Aoife smiled and we decided to stay and help them for a little while longer. I don't like doing work without some kind of compensation, Aoife was the opposite, as long as she can see smiles of others…that was enough for her.
…
We finally left the homeless shelter around five in the afternoon and the day was already ending and our parents would want us back soon. Six in the evening was the latest that we could push it to, but anything beyond that wasn't possible.
Aoife suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me away. I was confused, but I let her do it. The place we ended up was the tennis courts that we met each other in a year ago. I was confused and stood there waiting for an explanation.
"Aaron, do you know what dating is?" she suddenly asked. Surprised by her question I nodded. Aoife then started to fidget more, she had started looking at the ground and then finally looked up at me, she was blushing quite hard.
"You want to date?" I inquired. Her mouth hung open, shocked. I'm 99% sure that she was going to ask me that, so I just asked her it instead of waiting for her confession or something.
She meekly nodded. "Sure, why not? I like you too, so I don't see a problem," I told her. The face she made after hearing that was something I wouldn't forget. She suddenly jumped forward and hugged me.
"Yaaaaay~! I did it mom, dad, Mrs. Toole, Cindy!" she shouted. From out of nowhere stepped out my mom, Cindy and Aoife's parents?!
I froze and stared at all of them. They started laughing at my reaction and they came over to us. I…
"Were you…following us all day?" I asked, finally finding my voice. They didn't answer my question, but simply came over to us and congratulated Aoife.
"I was so nervous!"
…Wasn't I the one to ask her though? I wanted to say that out loud, but decided against it. My mom came over to me and hugged me too.
"She's Toole-approved, well, just by me and not your father, so…keep a secret for as long as you can, okay?" she asked.
"…Okay?" I replied. I knew that my old man wouldn't approve of this. Even though I was a child, I heard many things from my parents, and I also asked Cindy about it. Her awkward silence only confirmed it for me.
It confirmed that…they were in a thing called an 'arranged' marriage. A marriage that I found out wasn't born out of love, but out of something else. But the fact that my mom loved me all the same was something amazing since usually, the children born out of those marriages aren't loved at all by either parent.
"We've already discussed it as a group and we'll try to keep your father privy to it for as long as we can. We'll stop him from forcing you two to break up," she told us.
I knew that it would be impossible. My old man had eyes and ears everywhere, and it would eventually reach his ears and information network. But I did appreciate the effort they went through and I would go along with it. I did mean it when I said I liked Aoife. I'm just wondering if Ryan knows about this…
…
"We're going to be first years in secondary school starting in a few months. Are you guys ready?" asked Aoife.
We started dating at nine-years-old, now all three of us were twelve-years-old, so three years have passed. We had found an abandoned Victorian mansion and made it into our base. During that time, Ryan also got himself a girlfriend, and I also found out that he knew about the plan back then, that's why he said he was too busy to hang out with us.
"Ready for more work? Ugh…pass," said Ryan as she leaned against his girlfriend, Jennifer.
"I heard from my sister who goes to the school that they have some…interesting teachers, but the work we get starting from first year is a lot," said Jennifer.
"It'll be fine, Ryan, jeez. How about you, Aaron?" asked Aoife as she poked my forehead. I was receiving a lap pillow from her as I read a book. It was Farewell, My Lovely by Raymond Chandler.
"Hmm? Ah…well, you know, it's school…so nothing to be excited about—we can only despair about it," I told them my thoughts.
As I predicted my dad found out about my relationship with Aoife when I turned ten years old. He told me to end it, and for the first time in my life, I told him no. The silence in that dining room could have killed a whale. But I didn't back down and he's been silently seething these past few years. But surprisingly enough he didn't mention it again.
I also got into some Japanese media. I started buying some Manga and Light Novels. However, I only got into them recently and I still needed to get through my Classic Literature collection of books. But I had started reading the Light Novel Series called High School DxD, by Ichiei Ishibumi.
It's…interesting, to say the least, but still a fun read.
"Wow, what a gloom and doom kind of guy," said Ryan.
Aoife over the last three years had formed a new friendship with a bunch of girls that weren't exactly my biggest fans. They all also had boyfriends and some were single, and those guys kept on hitting on Aoife and every single time she rejects them and comes back to me upset.
If they have a grudge against me then that's fine, have at me. But leave her out of this, I've confronted them about this and got my ass beat, I never once fought back since I promised my mom not to ever fight, so when I went back home that day, my dad was just disappointed in me. But I stopped giving a shit about his expectations since I stood against him that one time.
"I'm just being realistic. School means work. We'll obviously get more once we go to secondary school. Elementary school was easy, so you better start studying more, Ryan," I told him. In response, he let out a scream of despair before Jennifer smacked him on the balls making him cringe.
"Anyway, Aaron we're heading to Dublin tomorrow and we're helping out in—"
"I know, I know…you've told me about this multiple times this week, Aoife. I'm ready and I'll be up on time," I replied.
Aoife and I had been volunteering to a lot of places these past three years. Her auntie always joined us, so we were going there alone, but like what I thought back then, when that drunkard spoke to me. She really does love helping people. Hell, the homeless population of our little town is like her personal bodyguard unit.
Anytime we're out past our curfew, they basically escort us around the place. She's helped many of them, and so have I, so they also like me. I can literally round a corner, find a homeless guy, give him some help and if I'm in trouble, all I need to do is scream and an army of them come rushing. It's almost comical when seen from a distance.
Jennifer, the first time she saw this was floored, she knew that the homeless in the city liked both of us and in turn Ryan and herself since they also occasionally help out at the shelter and they treat them like human beings and not below them. But she didn't think it was to that extent.
"Dublin? Around what area?" asked Ryan.
I shrugged, but Aoife answered instead. "It's near that big red shop? You know that one where people go to get…drunk?"
"…You're describing so many places that it hurts trying to decipher that," I told her. She frowned at me and pinched my noise.
"Oh you mean the thing with that thing and that thing?" replied Ryan as he made exaggerated movements with his hands.
"Yeah that thing!" replied Aoife while doing the same gestures with her hands.
"We're dating weirdos aren't we…?" Jennifer asked tiredly.
"Oh yeah, I've known that for a long time now…" I replied with my nose still being pinched.
…
"I'm already dead…please…no more…" complained Ryan. Our lives as secondary schoolers had started and we were six months in. My best friend from childhood looked like he was ready to give up.
I will admit the amount of homework compared to elementary school was a lot more than I anticipated, but it was still doable. I can still balance my private life with helping Aoife with voluntary work and school life. Ryan on the other hand was on the verge of collapsing.
He's popular with both the teachers and students, but my god he's struggling with the work. He's still getting it done, but he's generally left exhausted. Anytime Aoife, Jennifer and I help him he acts like we're the next damn messiah.
"Come on you big baby, you can get through this. We only have three more classes left before we go home and it's the weekend," I told him and drag him up to a chair.
"…Home…weekend…Jennifer…I…can…do…this…!!" he screamed and shot up. This got a laugh out of everyone in the locker room. I sighed at him and sat down in another chair. Jennifer was clearly embarrassed and Aoife laughed along with her new friend group.
I didn't have a new one. I managed to get along with everyone, but I didn't have anyone close to me outside of those three that I've known for a long time now. Our last three classes were English and double P.E. Many seniors and other students told us that this was a good thing since we'd essentially just be doing nothing for the last two once we finished whatever the P.E. teachers wanted done.
We didn't understand at the start of the year, but now…we do. It's on a Friday and the activities that the P.E. teachers would want us to do only last for the first class, so during our second class of P.E. they essentially tell us to do whatever we want. Most of us just sit around relaxing and waiting to go home.
…
The last class of P.E. was just how we predicted…we could do anything we wanted, so…I took out Volume 18 of High School DxD and read it. Aoife was by my side as she hugged my arm.
"Are you sure you don't want to spend time with your new friends?" I asked and continued from where I left off at.
"Do you want your adorable girlfriend to go away~?" she asked while cutely yawning.
"I would like you to stay, Aoife-sama," I told her and snorted.
"Sama…you're starting to like those Japanese anime, aren't you? I started that one you're reading…Issei is an interesting person. Though you two aren't too far apart," she told me.
"Huh? What do you mean?" I asked a bit confused.
"Well, while he's an open pervert you're a very closeted one. I know we're in secondary now so…I expected our relationship to go to another level, but I didn't think you would…y-you know…" she said while blushing.
I didn't know how to respond to that. When we first came to this school, many seniors bragged out losing their virginities around their first year to second year. While Aoife and I weren't in a rush, we did want to advance our relationship too, but at our own pace…though, it's as she said, we did go to another base. We didn't have sex, but something else did happen, we're both still minors after all…
"I'm forever grateful, Aoife," I told her seriously and looked at her.
She smacked her head against my shoulder and said, "You don't need to say it so seriously!"
"Hey…Aaron, right? Can I talk to you for a second?" a voice asked. Both Aoife and I looked up and saw that it was one of her new friends. Her name was Alannah. There were two others there too. I think their names were Courtney and Aisha.
She was chewing gum and had a large grin plastered on her face. She waved at Aoife as she waited for my answer.
"Uh, sure?" I replied and got up. I gave my book to Aoife as she began reading it. She looked disappointed to see me go though.
We went behind the gymnasium and further into the school's back area. There were some Astro turfs, long jump, outside basketball court and a large free space for other activities. We stood near the basketball court and their expressions immediately changed. One of their boyfriends came over and crossed his arms and glared at me. I think his name was Dane?
"Break up with Aoife," said Alannah.
"Pass, I'll get going then," I replied. As I tried to walk away, Dane grabbed my arm and stopped me from leaving.
"Break up with her for your own good. She deserves someone better than a stupid idiot like you, Aaron," she added.
"Reading those gross Chinese cartoon books too, have you no shame?" asked Aisha.
"He's also taking advantage of Ryan; the poor guy is stuck with this future r—pist. Do you think he's already sexually assaulted Aoife?" asked Courtney.
"From the looks of it, he has," said Dane with a shit-eating grin. "Probably daily too."
I've heard a lot worse from my own dad, so their insults don't really work, though the things he said about Aoife and me doing those things did get to me. I was tempted to knock them out, but my mom's promise echoed in my mind so I didn't.
But…I grabbed Dane's wrist and squeezed it hard. He yelled and let go. Even if I haven't fought in years, that doesn't mean I stopped working out and doing my martial arts and self defense classes…if I wanted, I could seriously injure all of them right now.
I walked away and said, "And you people lack any kind of intelligence. Are you sure you lot weren't the ones molested as children?" I snickered and walked away. I heard Alannah fuming while cursing me out.
When I got back to Aoife, she was blushing and when I sat beside her, she looked at me and said, "A-am I your angel?"
"…Huh?" Genuinely confused by her question I took a peek at the page she was on. It was at the end of the book. Irina had just kissed Issei, saying something about getting a kiss from an angel at Christmas.
I chuckled and stroked her head. "Yeah you are, Aoife. The day you came into my life was one of the best…even if you failed in your confession and I was the one to ask you instead."
"I already re-confessed though!" she half-shouted, she then puffed her cheeks and rubbed her head against my shoulder. "You hold the weirdest of grudges at times…"
"Well, we're two weirdos together, so it's fine, right?" I asked. She didn't answer but simply hugged my arm again and handed me back my book. Those guys came back glaring at me and I glared back at them.
Was war inevitable between them?
…
Second year of our secondary school life, it was winter break and I saw that Aoife wasn't looking too well. Her parents were also worried and they started getting her tested, but since she could still function…I decided to take her out on a date. We were thirteen years old, and we were about to turn fourteen.
We were in Dublin city for our date and we walked by a certain store that sold jewelry. Aoife stopped and looked at the jewelry and I stood by her. I didn't have much interest in them, but…the thought of—
"Hey, Aaron. What do you think of getting married in the future?" she suddenly asked surprising me.
"M-marriage?" I repeated. I looked at Aoife who was lovingly looking at me while hugging my arm. The snow around us started to get heavier and we took shelter under the shop's roof.
Despite the fact that I would like to marry her in the future…even thinking about this feels so strange since we're still so young, but I can't really imagine what the future would be without her. She abruptly came into my life and has been in it since then, she's forced me to do a lot of things that I normally wouldn't do, but I enjoyed them all nonetheless.
However, I had another worry…and that was my dad. He would never allow it, and how would we even get by him? That man's influence on our society and world had grown and grown even more so since I was younger.
It wouldn't a stretch to say he owned the god damn world. His influence reached far and wide, and while he wasn't the richest in the world (he was only the 5th richest world-wide), he could still buy out most businesses if he wanted. He had eyes and ears everywhere. I don't know if the teachers at my school reported everything back to him, or the principal.
"…Aoife, I would like to, but…you know, my dad and the promise we made to my mom and your parents," I said to her. She immediately became disheartened; she knew that he was a wall we couldn't get over.
I also didn't want to suggest about her become my 'mistress' since I didn't like the concept and the controversy it would cause, further pissing him off, and who knows what he might do.
"…Why can't our world accept harems? Ugh, for once I want to be part of that kind of world—like High School DxD. Issei has a harem, right?" she asked, trying to lighten the mood.
I couldn't help but laugh and she looked at me shocked. "Yeah, yeah, he does. I mean…we could go become Islam or something since that religion allows multiple wives…" As I proposed that, she looked at me rather amused and seriously thought about it.
"Well, we can just think about that down the line. I'm just glad we're on the same page," she said and kissed me on the cheek.
"Haven't we always been on the same page?" I asked and kissed her back.
"Well, when you took my virgi—"
"Stop! We don't need to talk about that here!" I raised my voice and sighed.
Aoife giggled at me as she pulled me away. We started recklessly frolicking on the streets like young and dumb teenagers. The snow that fell around us made it almost magical…looking at this scene, and how much we're having fun. I want times like this to last forever. We're not that old yet, but I can really see a life together with her.
"Hey," I called out to her. She stopped and looked at me. I approached her and added, "Aoife Toole has a pleasant ring to it, doesn't it?"
She skipped forward and embraced me. "I'd like to be called that in the future~"
"Yeah…that would be great," I replied and we started walking away normally since we had a few places to go to for our date.
But at the time, we didn't know that it would never come true. The world was cruel and it would tear us apart.
…
4th year—TY—Transition year, the single year in secondary school where you do nothing, learn life skills and get no homework and don't do any 'real' work in classes. It's basically a free year. This year I turned sixteen, and so did Ryan, Jennifer and Aoife. Everyone looked forward to this year…well, we all should have but…
As I stood by Aoife's bedside in the hospital, my girlfriend of eight years looked sickly and pale. She had stayed here in the hospital since she could barely move anymore. I was the only one left here as her parents left to go to work. They had stayed here for the last month, changing who could stay and go home, to take care of chores and go to work.
Pancreatic cancer. If found early, it's definitely curable, but if not…the ones that get it usually die. The test that they did, the results kept getting delayed and now it's progressed this far that when they finally found out…it was too late. She has only a few months left to live, maybe less…
"Don't…look like that, Aaron…" she said and tried to reach out to me. I pulled a chair near her bedside and took her hand into mine.
"Aoife…" I mumbled, pain filling my heart as I looked at my once bright and bubbly girlfriend, now left like this because of cancer.
"…I probably won't last two months," she said looking me in the eyes. I felt the world freeze, but she continued, "I love you…but please try to move on from me and live your life to the fullest. I don't want depression taking over your life…"
What an unreasonable demand. But I couldn't get angry, I just felt even sadder. How could she say that? We've known each other for nine years and dated for eight. To tell someone to just get over your death after being through a lot…
"I…" Before I could reply to her, the nurses came in and asked me to leave since they needed to do her check-up and take care of her. I reluctantly left, and looked back at her one last time. Aoife smiled at me but I couldn't do it back to her.
…
Once I got back home, it was empty. My relationship with my mom became a bit strange after a certain incident that happened two years ago. A cousin I thought that had been dead was alive, how did this happen? Apparently, my dad did something to me to make me forget about them. I was young enough at the time that it wouldn't leave any kind of trauma.
So when we met again at a party, I was shocked. I was mom about it and if she knew, and she admitted that she did…I won't lie, I may have said some harsh thing to her and the look that I saw from her still haunts me. She looked so hurt, but…I'm a coward that couldn't even apologize to her.
She still loves and cares about me, but I think she's giving me space and wants me to go to her first and rekindle our mother and son relationship. Cindy has the same as always, she still cares for me and is there every step of the way. She even comes and visits Aoife with me, like with Ryan and Jennifer.
When I walked into the living room, I found my dad there.
"Hmm? Oh, you're home. Your mother is out with Cindy. Did you visit that hospital again? You're wasting time. Break up with her already. She's going to die anyway, so why waste the time and energy?" he said rather casually while reading something from his tablet.
I felt my blood boil and saw red. I was about to lose it when we heard the door to our home open and my grandparents came in along with my mom and Cindy. I sighed and excused myself before going up to my room.
I felt so isolated here—it felt suffocating. I just wanted to run away and disappear. It felt like the places I belonged to were slowly disappearing. The only solace I had were my books, Cindy, Ryan and Jennifer. Even Aoife was going to fade away soon.
What the hell do I do?
…
A few weeks later, Aoife's condition worsened and we were told to expect the worst…so I visited her every day after school. Luckily on Wednesday school only lasted until one in the afternoon so I could go to the hospital and spend even longer with her.
And then one day—
"Aoife?" I called out her name. She was facing away from the door, she was usually looking this way, waiting for me. I felt something off so I rushed over to her. I didn't bother getting the chair, once I reached her…she turned around and she was already crying.
"…I'm scared Aaron…I don't want to die…" she told me. I crouched down and hugged her, after that she started to sob uncontrollably. "I want to live…I want to grow old with all of you…I want to get married to you…have kids…and live out our golden years together…why…why is this world like this…?"
I didn't know what to say to her. I was just a teenager. What the fuck do I say to her at this time? I also was scared that she was going to disappear…
"…I also want those things. Ugh…if I had powers, I'd get rid of this damn cancer of yours first…" I told her my honest thoughts. Since I couldn't come up with an 'adult-like' response, I told her that instead.
Her sobbing stopped before she started to giggle uncontrollably. I pulled away and found her tear and snot covered face adorable. I brought out a tissue and wiped her clean.
"…I would have been angry at you if you tried to give me a cliché response, Aaron. The fact that you told me that instead…made me happy," she told me. "If…if reincarnation was real, and I reincarnated in another world—"
"I'd come and find you—we'll go explore the multiverse! And if any of that shit was real, we'd go and visit the Draconic Deus. I wanna see some Oppai Beams being blasted around!" I shouted with enthusiasm.
Aoife…finally smiled at me and put her head on my chest. "…And you'd get a harem? You like Akeno a lot, don't you?"
"W-why are you asking me this question now…?!" I asked a bit horrified. "A-also, depending on the timeline, she'd already be with Issei, so…"
"…Wow, you sound insanely jealous."
"…Shut up…I-I'd still put you above them all!"
"Wow, that is definitely a lie!"
"I'm trying to cheer you up here!" I said while ruffling her hair with my hand, making her laugh. After that we fell silent again. After around a minute of silence, Aoife spoke again.
"…Thank you for loving me, Aaron. If…somehow it was all real, please come find me. I want to be together with you…"
"…Yeah…I will…" I chocked up a little as I replied. We both know it's not, but we could dream a little, right? Just one last time…I pulled away from her and then kissed her. I had no idea if this would be the last time we did this…but our time here—especially this day, I would cherish it forever.
…
A month later…Aoife passed away. The funeral was both poignant and beautiful. I was surprised that my dad attended it, but…he seemed oddly happy about it all—I was pissed about it, but said nothing since I didn't want to make a scene during her funeral.
Many of her friends came, even the new ones. They cried genuine tears for her. Many of the former homeless that had turned their lives around because of Aoife's work at the shelters and helping them find jobs, they attended and cried quite hard.
Even the current staff of the homeless shelter also came, and the homeless there since I went on her behalf when she couldn't go anymore. I did her job for her; I knew she would have wanted it. I also built a relationship with all them, so I didn't want to betray them.
Aoife's parents still welcomed me into their family, and if they thought Aoife left me something, I could go to her room and search for it. They were magnificent people. They were like a second pair of parents for me, just like Ryan's and Jennifer's parents.
However, as everyone started to leave, and even her parents…I stayed by her graveside. It felt like that if I left, her memory and existence would finally disappear and be forgotten by everyone.
"…I can't promise anything, Aoife. But…I'll try my best to live for myself and move on with my life." With those last words to her, I finally left the graveyard. The day had already turned to night as the cold air of Ireland hit me in full force.
…
I don't know how or when it started but…the bullying only intensified after Aoife's death. It was already fucked up, but it got worse. For some reason, her new group of friends blamed me for her death. I had no way of knowing about her cancer, nor did I have the power to stop it. I'm only a normal human.
However, the leader, Alannah only made things worse as she used her popularity and intimidating boyfriends to force everyone else to isolate me. Normally I wouldn't care, but the fact that everyone also began to pin the blame on me started to get to me.
Ryan and Jennifer tried to stick up for me, but…I saw that they were also beginning to be attacked by those assholes, so I told them to just mind their business. I had to be harsh, I had to act like an asshole. I didn't want my last remaining friends to suffer because of me. Ryan understood this, so…he began to distance himself.
At first, Jennifer was against it, so she tried to fight it. However, after Ryan explained what I was doing she also stopped speaking or hanging out with me. There were days that they would only verbally attack me, but some days they would also physically attack me. They knew I wouldn't fight back nor would I tell on them, so they enjoyed doing it.
I had no idea how many times I had gone home with bruises all over my body. Once I left school it didn't end there though, social media was also another way they could continue it. Online posts, general slander and making up lies about me. But since I didn't really use social media, it didn't bother me too much. However, I did get a lot of hate mail, and I had to sift through it all which got annoying.
At some point, my own personality began to sour. The hate inside of me got worse. I started to lash out back at them, harsher words—I also made up scenarios that didn't happen to them. The last two years of my school life were so toxic that the principal began to just suspend me for days on end. He didn't want his name or the school's name to be dragged through the mud. So he chose them. I understand why, and I don't blame him.
But then…
"Aaron…we need to talk." It was Ryan. We hadn't spoken in about a year. We were near the end of our 5th year in secondary school. Next year…we would be seniors and then graduate. I didn't respond to him and simply stared at him.
The current me had become bitter, resentful and wary of everyone. Even towards my best friend, I didn't know what he would do or say. Jennifer wasn't here but I assumed that she was also in favor for this.
"You need to stop taking all this abuse. We can talk to—"
"There's no use. This entire school and even the town is against me. Whatever those cunts spread over the last two years, it definitely affected everyone. Whatever happened to the 'innocent until proven guilty' thing?" I asked him.
"But—"
"Ryan…I'm going to use kind words here…fuck off. I don't want you involved in this, and I'm starting to think—I really did kill Aoife, didn't I? I was her boyfriend, one of the closest people to her. I should have noticed that cancer. I should have asked her to take the tests earlier. Every time I asked about how she was feeling she would brush me off. I should have pushed for her to check. If I did…she would be alive right now."
"That's not—"
"Or maybe her meeting me was the cause of her death. Yeah, that's probably it. A fateful meeting? Are you fucking kidding me? More like the start of the end of her life. Ryan, again, fuck off. Your life would be much better if you didn't associate with me."
Ryan fell silent as he looked at me with pity. He looked at the ground and sighed. "…Please get better, Aaron. You're hurting, that much is obvious, but…you need to heal by yourself. Until that happens, you'll just keep rejecting everyone around you. But you're still my best friend, so I'll wait. Come find me again."
He patted me on the shoulder before he left. My last thread of hope finally left. Now I was truly alone. But this is for the best. I don't want Ryan or Jennifer to suffer…and I doubt Aoife's parents, Ryan or Jennifer's parents want all those rumors or trouble being near them if their kids are associated with me.
…
One day, I was confronted again. This time they cornered me at the back of the gymnasium.
"Oh? I found Toole. He's being an emo fuckboy as usual!" said Dane's voice. I glanced at them and tried to get out of there but they stopped me.
"You killed Aoife," said Alannah.
I didn't respond, this just pissed them off even more, so both Dane and Dylan began to hit and kick me. I didn't defend myself and let it happen, however, it quickly ended.
"Telling him the truth wouldn't even matter anymore, right?" Alannah asked them and they agreed with her.
Truth? What truth? I looked up at them and waited for her to continue.
"Your dad paid us to bully you. It was a lot of money, you know? So we gladly accepted. He wanted you and Aoife to break up."
I was stunned after hearing that. He…paid them to try to break us up…?
"When Aoife started getting sick, he was the one that paid for their results to be delayed and not get to them on time. If you only broke up with her, he would have stopped and the results would have gotten to her on time!" shouted Alannah.
"We never lied! You did kill her! Because you didn't break up with her, the results never got to her on time, and in turn her cancer got worse! You killed her, Toole! Your own selfishness killed her! If you never existed, if you were never born, none of this would have happened!"
"It's great to get that off my chest. Well…at least with all the money that we all got, we can live very comfortable lives. We actually liked Aoife you know? She was like an angel, too pure for this world. Yet she got killed by some ugly ass swamp troll who wouldn't end it. In the end she was killed."
After she finished, both Dane and Dylan started hitting me again.
He…was responsible for all of this…? My dad stopped those results from getting to them? Was he that desperate? Did he want to control my life that badly? So badly that he got someone innocent killed…?! Aoife had nothing to do with this!
—But if you did break up with her, she would be alive.
That thought—that voice echoed in my head.
—In the end, you technically killed her, didn't you? If you just left her…if you just broke up with her…she would be alive right now.
...I had no idea what happened next. It felt like the same events had happened again—when I was seven-years-old, in that park. The promise I made to my mom—
When I came back to reality, all of them were on the ground, the girls were crying, the two guys were unconscious and profusely bleeding. In my hand was a brick and it was bloody. Something…was sticking out of his ass and one of his ears was missing.
My body moved on its own, as I held the rock above me and then threw it at Alannah. It hit her head, knocking her out too. After that, the world felt like it went in some kind of slow-mo but also fast-forwarded.
I was in and out of the principal's room. However, a random butler got me and took me home. Once we got there, I was informed that my dad was expecting me in his office, so I silently went over there.
He began screaming and scolding me. Most of his words went into one ear and out of the other. But the only thing that kept on repeating in my mind was—it's his fault.
It's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault it's his fault.
It's his fault. Why couldn't he just butt out of my life this one time? Why couldn't he just let me have this? What did romance have to do anything with building his stupid fucking business empire?! Aoife was amazing! Whatever stupid fucking criteria he had she definitely ticked all the boxes, so why?!
"You killed her."
"What?"
"You stopped the test results from getting to her and her parents. Why? Why? Why? Why? Aoife was innocent in all of this. What the fuck does my love life have to do anything with your business empire?!"
"You don't—"
"Shut the fuck up, I'm speaking!" I roared at him. He was stunned and stopped speaking. "You couldn't let me have this one thing?! I did every single shitty thing you asked me all my life without complaint! But you couldn't—your fragile good for nothing shit-tastic ego couldn't take it could you?"
"Were you butt-fucked by granddad when you were younger or something? Did he molest you so hard that you got a screw loose up there?! You know, there's a thing called breaking the fucking cycle in toxic shit like this, and you clearly didn't fucking even try!"
"What about mom, huh?! What did she deserve to have all of this shit?! You pushed her away! She disappeared with Cindy a few months ago! Why?! Where is she?! I can't find her anywhere! Everything you fucking touch just rots or is ruined!!"
I finally stopped screaming and I started panting. However, the man in front of me, Aden Toole smirked.
"That whore of a mother of yours should be dead by now. I told her I would divorce her if she didn't give me another heir. I've already lost interest in you; I will also abandon you like I abandoned her. If you cannot inherit this business empire from me, then you are useless."
"Once you turn 18, and once you graduate, leave. I will disown you—but I am an all-forgiving man, so I will give you 10 million so you won't die too easily. Ah, of course, if you kill yourself, it will all come back to me so it won't matter. You are dismissed."
Again. It happened, everything…just became a blur. The next thing I knew I was being pulled off my dad, as his face was full of bruises and cuts. But he had that stupid evil grin on his face, I also noticed that something was sticking out of me, when I looked down, I found some kind of switch blade was stuck in me.
He probably stabbed me, whether that was self-defense or not…I didn't know, nor did I give a shit. I began to struggle again. "That piece of shit needs to dieeeeee!!" I screamed and broke free from our employees' grasps.
But after that, everything just became black. I didn't know what had happened.
…
After that day I avoided him and he avoided me, and after I graduated, I immediately moved out and moved to Waterford, south of Ireland and out of my town I grew up in. I didn't want to be near anyone. I tried to search for my mom and Cindy but it's like they vanished from the face of the earth, so I also gave up on that.
Waterford Institute of Technology. That was my new school and Waterford would be my new home for God knows how long. But…I took this as a fresh new start, though my mental health hadn't exactly recovered. I still blamed myself for Aoife's death—if I had just—
As I left my apartment, I sighed. The rent wasn't much, and it was close to the school I attended. No one here knew me, but at the same time I knew none of them. My days here were…boring, but lately I had started to feel weird. But for the last few years I had felt like shit, so I didn't care.
Dad—or that pile of shit moved on pretty quickly. He had found a new wife with the same mentality as him, and they're already pregnant. I didn't care, as long as he left me alone, I don't care what that asshole did. I also never spoke to Ryan or Jennifer again. I wish them the best, but it's better if they didn't involve themselves with me.
Alannah was right though, if I never existed…Aoife would still be alive today. Her death, while not solely on me—I was definitely the deciding factor.
I had no friends in this college, nor did I have any desire to make any. I just picked it to get as far away from everyone as I could. My days were filled with endless background chatter noise, I read my books, eat, sleep, attend classes and repeat. And just like that, the first five months passed with no change in the cycle.
Today was Christmas, yet I had no plans. College was out for Christmas and most students had gone back home and the town of Waterford was very quiet. I ate an early dinner and planned to go to sleep early since I had no reason to stay up late nor did I have anyone to celebrate this holiday with.
…
I suddenly jolted up because the cold had suddenly vanished. This is strange when in Ireland at winter, when I opened my eyes and looked around…I was at some sort of beach.
"This…wait, is this some sort of lucid dreaming crap or something?" I asked myself. "I'm not exactly interested in dreaming right now…"
"And why not?" asked a very, very familiar voice. That voice made me freeze. With trepidation, I turned towards it and found Aoife. She looked the same as always, but this time…she was healthy unlike how she looked before her death.
"Why do you look like you saw a ghost, Aaron?" she asked. Finally, she reached me and grabbed my cheeks and started massaging them. "You've grown up a lot…I can tell the world hasn't been kind to you…it's my fault."
No. It's mine! I don't know, but I already had started crying as she held me like that. "You were killed because of me—because of my dad. If…we broke up you would—" She then slapped me, stunning me.
This time, it was Aoife who started to cry. "…Don't say that. My life may have ended too quickly, but the time I spent with you, those memories will never fade for me. I don't regret a single second of it."
She then sat down in a seiza posture and patted her thighs. "Well? You liked me giving you lap pillows, right? …It may be painful, but can you tell me everything that happened after I died?"
I don't know what the hell this is anymore. If it's that paranormal shit where the dead visit you in your dreams or whatever, but…
With reluctance, I rested my head on Aoife's lap as she started to stroke my hair. I then began telling her about what had happened over the last three years. How the bullying became worse, my classmates, friends and town turning their backs on me (I also informed her that I told Ryan and Jennifer to stay away from me to save them from being bullied too), how my mom and Cindy disappeared, how it was all planned by my dad and how I broke my promise of no fighting and nearly killed one of the bullies.
How I'm in college now, the first five months have already passed, and how I'm alone on Christmas. When I told her all of that, it sounded depressing as hell. But a huge weight was lifted from my chest. I hadn't felt this light in years. It was almost therapeutic.
"I wanna kick their asses!" declared Aoife. I was briefly stunned by this before laughing. I hadn't laughed in years and my stomach hurt. What kind of response was that?
Aoife smiled at me, leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Aaron…please forgive yourself. It's not your fault, I don't regret anything that I did, and I loved my life and I still love you. So please…try to move forward with your life. Don't forget the past, but learn from it. I think Ryan and Jennifer would like to talk to you again, and I'm sure your mom and Cindy are out there. You'll definitely find them soon."
Aoife made me get up and we stood in front of each other. Suddenly a red scarf appeared around her neck. "Do you remember what I told you when we were both thirteen?"
"…Your theory of happiness?" I asked and she nodded.
"If I can make just one person in this world happy, then I'm happy. But it looks like you forgot one more thing I said after that," she said and started taking the scarf off herself.
She began putting it around my neck and with a smile said, "Just like the Red Dragon Emperor himself—Issei—Red is the Color of Heroes. Today—tonight, I will pass this down to you, Aaron Toole. Just like that loveable pervert, go be a hero. Even if it's just for yourself, go be one."
Aoife began to fade away. I wanted to reach out and stop her, but if I did…I don't think she'd be that happy with me.
"Good night, Aaron. May you be blessed forever with the sweetest of dreams."
Those were her last words as she vanished from this dream. I also felt myself beginning to fade away. Even though my tears wouldn't stop, I would keep that promise with her this time. I'll become a hero, for you and for me, Aoife.
…
When I woke up—I immediately put my shoes on and ran out of my apartment. I only had one destination in mind, a small pier. I didn't care how I looked, my tears were still overflowing, I didn't care if that was a delusion or dream, I just needed a way to vent out my feelings, and this one the only thing that popped into my mind.
Once I reached that place, I began screaming out a chant—I was so out of it that I don't even remember the words. But once the adrenaline died down…I felt so embarrassed.
"…Aoife…I'll do it. I'll become a hero—even if I can't go fly around and solve crimes…I'll go and apologize to Ryan first and go from there." With Aoife's warmth and words overflowing from my heart—I set out to change my life for the better.
…
A few days after that, during the New Years, I found Ryan and Jennifer. They were in Dublin attending Trinity College and so…I approached them, asked if they could follow me and then I apologized to them for everything. After that I told them about my dream with Aoife.
"Heh, her ghost definitely came back to set you straight, Aaron. But…I'm glad to have you back, buddy," said Ryan.
Jennifer wiped a tear from her eyes and hugged me. "If the paranormal was real, then she definitely did that! I miss her so much…!"
"…Yeah, I miss her too."
"Now then, PUB!" said Ryan.
"But—"
"PUB!" both of them shouted it this time. I was never one for drinking but…I think it would be okay for today.
I hadn't felt this happy in months, but…this new happiness for me would be cut short. But at the same time, I felt relieved.
After my meeting with Ryan and Jennifer, I asked them if they could keep an eye out for any information about my mom and Cindy. I had started looking for them again, but I still had nothing. Both of them agreed and would keep an eye out.
…
A few months had passed, but I hadn't found my mom or Cindy. But I had kept in contact with Ryan and Jennifer. Those two were the only ones I could really 'reconcile' with. Well, until I found mom and Cindy that is.
Today, I was in the doctors for an appointment. For the last few months, I had also been feeling shit, well, no, it had been like this since last year or so. Finally, I decided to get myself checked out.
"Mister Aaron…I don't know how to deliver this new to you…but—"
"Just give it to me straight, Doc. What's wrong with me now?" I asked.
He sighs and nods his head while taking off his glasses. "You have a heart disease, ischemic heart disease. It's the term given to heart problems caused by narrowed heart arteries."
"When the arteries are narrowed, less blood and oxygen reach the heart muscle. This is also called coronary artery disease and coronary heart disease. This can ultimately lead to a heart attack. It's…silent. The people that have ischemia without pain—silent ischemia. They may have a heart attack without prior warning."
"Additionally, you have SCLC or Small Cell Lung Cancer. It's a fast-growing type of lung cancer. It spreads much more quickly than non-small cell lung cancer. SCLC is the most aggressive form of lung cancer. It usually starts in the breathing tubes (bronchi) in the center of the chest."
"Although the cancer cells are small, they grow very quickly and create large tumors. These tumors often spread rapidly (metastasize) to other parts of the body, including the brain, liver, and bone. Mister A—"
"Don't, let me die. I don't want treatment."
"Bu—"
I didn't look at the doctor. I stared out the window, my expression not changing at all. I had already accepted my fate, but with this…I could be with Aoife.
"It'll need chemotherapy, right? I would rather not…I like my hair…also it has possible radiation too, right? I had my suspicions about SCLC but didn't have anything—concrete. But today I was able to receive that confirmation. Let me guess, I'm at a point that's far too gone, right? Do I have like a year to live or something?"
"…You're at the extensive stage. With treatment…we can extend your life to seven or eleven months…but yes, most will succumb to it in a year's time," he told me grimly.
"Heh, then let me die on my own terms. I don't want to be bedridden or stuck doing chemotherapy before I die. Thanks for telling me this, Doc," I told him and got up.
…
I met up with Jennifer and Ryan after my diagnosis and told them what was going to happen. Both were devastated, and even Ryan started crying.
"Come on man, don't cry," I told him and put my hand on his back.
"But…!"
"I refused treatment, so I can spend the last few months I have with you guys—but I think around the last month or two I'll be bend bound, so…let's make these last few months the most memorable in my life."
Jennifer was also crying quite hard so I brought them both into a hug. But they also agreed with me, we'd make my last few months in this earth the best we could. However, I didn't want them skipping classes for me, so we planned it accordingly. It took nearly an entire day, but…it looked good! I had 10 million still, I had my own savings saved up so I didn't use any of my dad's money.
But I would use it now, since I was dying.
…
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!" Ryan screamed. We were on a rollercoaster and he didn't know that he wasn't good with them. Jennifer and I were laughing our asses off because of him.
Once the ride ended, we got off. Ryan immediately ran to a trashcan and puked into it. We walked over to him and Jennifer rubbed his back.
"Never…again…ugh…I didn't think rollercoasters were one of my weaknesses."
"Alright, alright, we'll cross that off the list then. So you're okay with swimming with sharks, right?" I asked.
"Are you insane!?" he snapped, and his face looked pale.
"Fine, fine, we'll just go surfing in Hawaii or something. We might see sharks too," I told him.
"Ooooh! Hawaii, let's go!" Jennifer exclaimed excitedly. Ryan looked even more horrified, but said nothing.
…
"I-I can't…! H-help!!!" shouted Ryan. Jennifer and I were already at the top of the cliff we climbed on. Only Ryan was the last to get up. I didn't think the guy had a fear of heights.
"I didn't know you didn't like heights, Ryan," I told him while looking down.
"Neither did I!!!!!!!" he shouted back. He started to climb up faster and finally got up too. He fell on his back and started breathing quite hard.
"So another one is checked off," I said and grinned.
"…Jesus Christ, these trips are going to kill me, Aaron," said Ryan tiredly.
"Well, I am dying, so at least one of us is," I replied and snorted. Both of them looked at me worriedly, but I just waved them off. "I guess my humor became a bit darker. Anyway, don't worry about it. Hopefully with these trips, we might find my mom, eh?"
"That's true, even if we've only been in Ireland so far, they might still be here, right? If so, we'll definitely come across them," said Jennifer.
I got up and stretched my body. "Anyway, let's keep going!!" I shouted and we began another long journey around the country
…
However, as time passed on, my physical body began to shut down, and in my last two months of life, I was bedridden. With the help of Ryan and Jennifer I was put in the country's best hospital where I spent my remaining days. Both of them would visit me as much as they could, but I eventually told them that they could only visit me when it was convenient for them.
I didn't want their lives to be ruined just because of me. I wasn't worth it in my mind. But…I also never found mom or Cindy, but one day…someone familiar showed up in my room's doorway.
"M-mom? Cindy? Where the heck—"
My mother, Róisín Toole and maid, Cindy Byrne had showed up. My mom immediately hugged me and started crying while apologizing repeatedly. But from what I could see, they didn't look that good either.
"I—!" My mom told me where they had been, and what they had been up to all the while crying. To put it simply, they had travelled all across Ireland trying to restart their lives. My mom couldn't find it in her to approach me, since she blamed herself for the entire thing.
She had been trying to find supporters and help to try to bring my father down. However, once they found out who she was trying to bring down, the people she had recruited would leave. They were too scared of my father to go against him.
In the end, they decided to go west. The reason? To end their lives. Cindy followed mom since they were close and she would do anything for her. They planned on ending it at the Cliffs of Moher, it was a popular spot for that kind of thing—but there were a lot of accidental deaths there too.
Once she was done with her explanation, I apologized. "I'm sorry, it's my fault mom. If I only did what he wanted, Aoife would be alive and none of this would have happened. My birth was the cause for it—if you look at it logically. It started from there—"
My mom suddenly slapped me and looked at me angrily. "Don't ever say that…you were never at fault. It's your father and his grandparents…they only ever wanted their business to grow. Those people lack empathy. They resemble the devil more than anything," she told me.
"…Aaron, Cindy and I will visit you every day from now on…I can't erase the sins of the past, so I'll do my best for the last months of your life…I'm sorry, I'm really sorry…" she said and started crying again.
I didn't know what to say, so I just accepted what she said. After that, and as the days marched on to my end, my mom, Cindy, Ryan, and Jennifer visited me as much as they could. We would talk about random things, they brought me some books I'd like to read, we even had a small karaoke night. Even when I couldn't sing.
I'm forever in their debt. I never hated my mom for disappearing. I knew she had her own reasons, but I did apologize for breaking her promise of never fighting. I also set it up that once I died, the remaining money I had would go to my mom, Cindy, Ryan, and Jennifer. That 'dad' of mine could go die in a hole for all I cared.
And then…time finally came. I could vaguely tell that there were people near me. But I could barely open my eyes, so with the last bit of my strength I reached out.
"…I love all of you." Those were my last words before everything I knew ceased to exist.
…
I didn't have a body, I floated in some kind of colorless world. All of my memories of my previous life had flooded back into me. But suddenly, a humanoid shape began to take form and I was put into it. I had a new body so I stood there.
"…So all that happened, huh? …Even after remembering everything, I don't hold any contempt for any of them. We were only humans after all," I muttered to myself.
Suddenly, a cube-like object appeared in front of me—and before could touch it. The item glowed and…a figure emerged from it. It was like a hologram and it was…
[Hi Aaron! I only have a limited time on this, jeez, that Azathoth sure is stingy!] she said with the same smile as always.
[Ah, if this plays that means you have all of your memories again! Congrats! Anyway…remember that dream? Well, it wasn't a dream…Azathoth let me speak to you back then. Apparently, she had been keeping an eye on you. Can we call this stalking?]
I couldn't help but snicker at that. So…it wasn't a dream, but it was really her, huh?
[…Mmmm, I'm not sure what to say really. But knowing you…you told Azathoth you'd help or save her, right? You probably also plan on searching for me, or bringing me back like what we promised before I passed.]
She sighed and shook her head. [If you do plan on going through with it, you better be prepared for the scolding of the century! I don't know how much you have changed...since then, ah, I also watched a bit of your journey. You go, Dual Dragon Emperor! …You really did become a hero, huh? Kids over there really like you…]
She spread her arms side from side to side and showed her brightest smile. [You started from nothing and now you're here! I'm so happy and proud of you! You've always been my hero and that hasn't stopped. Ah! You also got Akeno, good job!] She started giggling and I blushed. [Please keep on living, Aaron. If…you do come and take me back, I want to see that world you want too—and hopefully, I'll be part of it.]
[…Ah! Time's up, oh well! I love you! So…I hope to see you soon? Hehe~!] the hologram of Aoife vanished.
I stood there, and felt tears streaming down my face again. I feel like I've been crying way too much lately. I feel embarrassed because of it. I looked at my hand and…it looked like a hand unlike earlier, it looked like a blue blob.
"Aaron." I looked up and saw Cúntóir.
I smiled at her and said, "I'm coming back, Cúntóir."
"…Yes," she replied and also disappeared.
I looked up at the sky and sighed. I won't keep them waiting. They need me and I need them. I love that world, and I'll protect it because I love it. I felt my body becoming lighter as it started to glow, finally, I slipped back into unconsciousness.
[The awakening process has started.]
[The evolutionary process has been successful. Aaron Toole has become —.]
[The — is awakening.]
…
…
…
[Partner! Partner! Wake up! God dammit wake up!!!]
When I opened my eyes, I felt a large pair of arms tightly holding me. When I looked around—
[Holy fuck! You're awake!! Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!]
"D-Ddraig…? Why are you screaming so—" He only kept crying and screaming louder and kept hugging me. I also felt another pair behind me and I assumed it was Albion.
[You've been dead for like 5 minutes!! And you look so different!!] he shouted at me as he pulled away.
"Huh?" Cúntóir came over and summoned a large mirror and I looked at myself. My hair and both my eyes had turned completely silver. My build was still the same and so was my height.
"So…I evolved, huh? What about my 'system'?" I asked Cúntóir.
"Your 'Nurturing System' has been deleted. It was just to help you with various things. However, you can still 'will' a status screen to life if you wish. The same with the other functions like the [Inventory] and [Skills]," she explained.
I nodded and opened my [Status]. I checked through it and everything had changed. Most of it looked like a joke, but what interested me was…
"My [Race] is blank. What's the meaning of that?"
"…Perhaps Azathoth left it to you to name?" she said and I face palmed.
"She is aware of my god-awful naming sense, right?!" I asked a rhetorical question. The ones there laughed.
"…Before that…" I said and got up. Ddraig had let me go and wiped the tears from his eyes.
[We're following through with your plan?] he asked and grinned.
"Of course, I don't know fully what I'm capable of, and since Cúntóir's allowed to tell me anything now…"
"I will follow you to the end of time, Aaron," said Cúntóir.
"Heh, alright, let's go then—let's make that new [Pocket Dimension] and stay there for 10,000 years. Ah, before that...let me think of an original race," I told them and sat there thinking about it for a few minutes. Finally, I opened my eyes and laughed.
I poked at the [Race] on my [Status] screen and changed it to my new race. Everyone looked at it and they all made confused faces.
[What the hell does that mean? Is that even...a word?] Ddraig asked.
"It's nothing special, Ddraig. At most, it's a play on two words. You know I'm not the best at naming things, the same with my restaurant. It's just a mix of words. Anyway, let's go."
I held my hand up and began to put myself into a completely different dimension. Just before we entered it, I glanced at my new race.
[Race]: Imak-Rotaerc
…
Check the chapter comments to see images of certain characters.