"So, which one should we start with?"
The moment she said that, all the screens were moving and making a way for a certain screen to get in front of her. It was like seeing a group of children trying to get attention from someone.
"Oh! This one is nostalgic. Your second regression.", again, she smirked at me.
With every single word of her, it became clear that this was a trial. She was the judge, and I was the defendant. I gulped my saliva and found myself sweating like crazy. Why did I have to face this kind of humiliation?
"Now you're asking that? An ignorant fool, indeed.", her smirking face now turned into a cold one. "Watch this and tell me what's wrong with it."
The screen that originally was in front of her moved towards my direction, showing a scene where a man was running away from something. No, it was actually me running from a group of Asuras.
"It was scary… Having an Asura chasing me is one thing, but this… What could I have done then?", I asked her innocently.
"Tch…", she actually clicked her tongue. "Watch it until the end, mongrel. Do I have to tell you the obvious thing?"
She slapped me with her sharp words. Was getting roasted always this painful?
The scene continued. After the 'me' inside the screen ran for about 5 minutes while continuously turning his head left and right, he saw a group of newbie Divers in the distance. He smiled and ran towards the newbies, making the Asuras target them instead.
"Sorry kids!", he winked at the newbies that were getting beaten to pulp, and the scene ended after that.
After watching that, I recalled the whole thing.
I was trying to make some money back then, and dived into the Abyss alone. It was still prohibited for a Diver to go alone at that time, yet I snuck myself in and did that.
I was searching for an easy target for about 30 minutes, and then I stumbled upon a group of Asuras. They seemed to be guarding something, I thought. And I was correct.
"What did you find there, mongrel?", Goddess Bona Dea suddenly threw a question to me who was still lost in thought.
"..."
"Why the silence? Answer me."
"They were guarding an artifact…", I replied softly.
Getting lucky was the only thing I thought at that time.
I tried to stealthily steal the artifact they were guarding and it ended up with me getting chased down.
I felt a sharp sting inside my chest, what was that? Did I make a mistake? No, I should not ask that.
"Feeling remorseful yet?", she questioned me. "Let's continue, shall we?"
The next moment, another screen was already in front of me. Again, it was showing me doing something.
"That is your fifth regression.", she hinted. "It seems my Apostle has always been up to no good, doesn't he?"
The screen was showing me doing a scouting job. It was a must-to-do thing when Divers were aiming to conquer a floor. It took a lot of steps to make the information acquired as accurate as it could be, whether there was a named one or not, the terrain was easy to travel or not, and so on. A single mistake and it could lead to a wipe out of your entire party.
But what I did was completely the opposite. Instead of gathering information, I was blinded by the treasures placed near the location I was scouting at. Without hesitation at all, I ran towards it as fast as I could.
When I was busy collecting the rare metals, my party got wiped out just like that. Even though I was much, much stronger than any of them, I couldn't care less about other people at that time, as they screamed in terror and begging me to help them. The more I thought about that, the more disgusted I was. Was I always a horrible person?
"Hmph. Now you know how I have been feeling as your benefactor.", she shrugged her shoulders. "Now let's see the next one."
Goddess Bona Dea continued showing me the seemingly never ending train of screens. One by one, and each one tortured my soul. My hatred towards myself grew bigger and bigger as time went on.
***
After watching all the screens and getting roasted by Goddess Bona Dea for countless times, I could only lower my head in despair. The feeling of remorse, hatred, disgust, and guilt mixed into one. I never felt this way before.
"..."
The silence between us made it clearer that everything up until now was just the result of me fooling around without any regards towards others.
"Should I show you your last regression as well?", she broke the ice.
"... No, thank you, Goddess.", I replied softly.
I still could not raise my head. My chest tightened, and this time for real. I could not even breathe properly.
"Regret all you want, Fayre."
That was the very first time she called me by the name yet it somewhat felt so painful.
"Fayre.", she spoke again. "Let me ask you something."
I unconsciously raised my head and it felt so heavy as if a huge boulder was placed on my head. I was still out of words so I only nodded in agreement.
"What have you come here for?"
I felt my whole body cracking in response to her sharp question. I never expected to be asked this question, much less so from the one who should already know the answer.
"Yes, I know the answer. But I personally want to hear it directly from that mouth of yours."
Her expression changed. The corner of her lips slightly raised, while keeping the arrogance that felt so out of place considering how elegant her face looked. After pondering a little, I hesitantly opened my mouth. The only thing I knew was that I was not supposed to lie to her right now.
"I want you to give me more blessings…"
Shameless. What a shameless man, I thought.
"Truly shameless, aren't you? Your greed knows no limit! Why did I choose you to be my apostle to begin with?", she spat out the facts. "Oh, right. I was intrigued by your strong willpower."
It hurt. It hurt so bad I could puke. But everything she said was true.
"Ah! You know what? You're asking for more blessings from me right?", her slightly smirking face now turned into something else.
No, no, no! Not that kind of expression! That kind of sinister expression has always been a bad news. She smiled widely, showing her white teeth. The elegance was gone from her face, leaving only a wide smile only a lunatic would make. A dark red haze was also oozing from her entire surroundings.
"What if I give you the source of your so majestic blessings instead?", her eyes widened, terrorizing my entire existence.
I could not move an inch. My instinct told me that this one definitely would not end in any good ways. It was dangerous, I must escape this place. I felt a chill down my spine.
"No need to be scared, my dear Fayre. You won't feel a thing. This will end in an instant.", she rose from her throne and walked slowly towards me.
"No… No! Don't come closer!"
I screamed on the top of my lungs. I desperately tried to move my body, but it was futile. At that moment, I recalled the newbies' faces when I baited the Asuras into them. Was this how they felt back then?
"Ahaha! Reminiscing the nostalgia, are you?", she laughed. "Humans do tend to regret once everything ends! Hahaha!"
She kept walking slowly while holding her head with both of her hands. The terror I felt was tremendous. My whole body was shaking.
"Thanks-for-the-food! Ahaha!"
The dark red haze around her formed into something like a jaw. It then swallowed me whole.
"Nooooooooo—"
Everything just went dark.
***
"Are you sure about this?", the two faced old man spoke in a cold manner. "You even gave one of your sealed incarnations to him."
"Remember a particular wise word, Janus? If you want peace, you have to invite chaos.", the young woman clad in white dress answered.
Her pupils, her hair, and even her skin were as white as snow. One would definitely believe if she was the Goddess of Beauty herself, as her beauty was unparalleled. But in fact, she was known for her kindness and purity, not her beauty.
"Ugh… Like the Apostle like the Goddess. You two are truly a pair of birds in a flock, too smart for your own good. Is he that important to you?"
"Hmm… You could say it like that. Fufu.", she giggled. "There's no way I would do something bad to him. Even I would stand for him if you guys were to harm him in any way possible.", she threw a sharp glare towards Janus. Her cold eyes reflected every last drop of resolve she had.
"... You really are a weird one, Bona Dea.", Janus shook his head while making a troubled expression.
"Say whatever you want, Janus. Once you find an Apostle, you will feel what I'm feeling right now.", she retorted. "Your journey has just only begun, my dear Fayre. May the Gods' blessings be always with you. But a little bit of trial won't hurt, will it? Fufufu."
Bona Dea raised her hands with eyes full of love.
"Now I feel bad for that boy, err… I mean that girl.", Janus closed his eyes and walked away. "I pray for your well being, kid."