When you eventually returned to the lab, you found Mitsuru knee deep in a new experiment. A pair of huge, circular goggles were strapped to her face as she applied a bright flame to the pilfered stone. "Mitsuru, what are you doing with that thing?"
"Thing? I'll have you know that this is primo, grade-A, genuine, cross-dimensional matter!"
"I don't know what that is."
Mitsuru grumbles to herself and halts the torch, removing her goggles and turning back to face you, "What do I even teach you these things for? Have you not been listening for the past three years?"
"Yes, and I can guarantee that you've never talked about cross-dimensional whatever before now."
"My memory is picture perfect!"
"Bullshit. You don't even remember what you had for lunch yesterday."
"Science is more important than worthless memories like those. But I suppose I should explain to you fully now that we have more time." You lean down and look at the stone again. Small cracks release purple light into the surrounding container. "Where to begin…"
"Let's start with this," you say, tapping the glass case, "Why is this rock so important?"
"As I said, this is cross-dimensional matter. An element with no formal name, nor precedent in the earthly sciences. I am certain that those fools trying to invade our planet have their own name for it, which I am currently endeavouring to discover for myself. It can be used for a variety of purposes, a power source, or as a signal generator, even the card you used to summon Rias is lined with it. Not to mention the Sledgehammer."
"Okay, so how did you get your hands on the matter to make that stuff in the first place?"
"A year ago, I found it. There's nothing more to the tale than that I'm afraid. But now I suspect that our adversaries projected it into our world as a sort of anchor. The rock emits a powerful signal that can be followed easily. It begs to reason that the 'Untethered' Rias spoke of use it to find suitable worlds for invasion."
You eye the Sledgehammer wearily, now perched atop her workbench table, "I see. So, the reason they're here is because of us?"
"Chicken or the egg, you fool. We found this matter because they sent it here! Regardless of our usage, they would come to us soon enough."
"And the cards?"
"With a little reverse engineering and some simple astrophysics, I discovered a method of scrying for other worlds that bares a strong resemblance to their own. We can locate other universes parallel to ours, designate a target, and pull them through using it. The cards contain all the necessary data for the Sledgehammer to carry out this task. The infinite expanse of all that exists and ever will exist lays before us."
"And that way, we can summon people who technically don't exist."
"They do exist. They bare strong resemblances to our own cultural media through sheer chance – when you have an infinite number of realities with an infinite number of people living within them, it is not so difficult a task."
You slip the card out from your pocket and study Rias' likeness, "Well, I'm relieved that she isn't trapped in the card or anything. What did I tell you about objectifying women?"
"My experiments to transform people into furniture were not comparable to the male gaze," she insists, "Please refrain from such unflattering comparisons."
You sigh and move on, "And how much do we know about these Untethered exactly?"
"Nothing more then what I deducted. They utilize this cross-dimensional matter to launch attacks using autonomous programmes. Ergo, the golem Rias so effortlessly destroyed. Their true purpose is a mystery."
"And our helpers being in love with me is because?"
"A simple and effective way to earn their compliance," she states matter of factly.
You need to sign this girl up for a physiatrist.
"Wouldn't a heroic spirit do just as well? Or the willingness to help others?"
"Pah, meaningless prattle. The end result is the same regardless." Mitsuru unlocks the case and ferries the stone to her workbench with a pair of metal tongs. She grabs a nearby mallet and shatters it into pieces, revealing the luminous purple crystal inside. "A good haul. With this we can make a few cards, and some upgrades to the hammer."
"We need to decide who we're bringing through next."
"I chose Rias as I knew you held some kind of affection for her, not to mention her incredible power and battle prowess. I will consult with you on any further selections, although if I may – I have a few suggestions."
"Such as?"
"Being a fighter is all well and good, but the technological warfare we are embarking on cannot be ignored. Despite my expansive intellect, there is much that even I am ignorant to. Consider summoning an equally illuminated individual to assist us with deciphering the mysteries of this material."
"You want a smart lab assistant because I'm a dumbass."
"I never implied as such, but I appreciate the self-reflection. I predict we will have enough here for two new cards, alongside the planned upgrades I am making to our equipment. The second choice is yours and yours alone. I am sure that Rias was eager to hoist some of her fellow devils upon you, although we are not forced to concede to her demands as of yet."
"Anything else we should consider?"
"We are capable of summoning men. Although given your immediate efforts to bed Miss Rias, I highly doubt you will go down that path."
Your face burns red, "H-Hey, I never said we slept together!"
"That cocksure grin on your face tells me everything I need to know. The moment you got your rocks off, which I had calculated to the precise second beforehand, you contacted me to banish your one-night stand to her home dimension."
You shake your head in useless denial and sit down on the old couch by the wall, "Believe what you want to believe Mitsuru. I need to think about some smart people. Smart people…"
You find it surprisingly difficult to think of a smart girl you could summon. There are thousands and thousands of them – but ever so rarely were they featured in a prominent position in their respective stories. Often restricted to being mere devices serving the function of delivering clumsy exposition and delivering various gadgets to the less bright main character. You cast a glance to Mitsuru, and then down at yourself.
You suddenly realize that this is a dangerous train of thought to go down.
Back on track. Makise Kurisu is an obvious choice, but she's more of a physicist than an inventor. Winry Rockbell, Yuki Nagato, Lucca Ashtear. You feel yourself getting closer and closer as you plumb the depths of your fictional media knowledge. You go all the way back to your shared childhood and uncover something you've long since forgotten. Sat in front of the TV with Mitsuru and watching junk-food harem shows together. A flash of pink, an unbidden terror.
Lala Satalin Deviluke.
A brilliant and appropriately eccentric inventor. An alien from another world fleeing a barrage of idiotic suitors. She has the exact same lack of awareness and scruples that Mitsuru does. She's also quick to fall in love slash has incredibly low standards, so recruiting her assistance may not require a visit to a dingy love hotel for a quick screw.
"Mitsuru, how do we turn this stuff into a card anyway?"
Mitsuru stands up and walks over to a small workstation. A printer-like machine and a pressing device are hooked up to an old computer. "Simply make your request. I will lock onto the target, distribute the needed matter, and transfer the data into the card." You follow along and look over her shoulder as she begins to type at an incredible speed.
"Lala Satalin Deviluke, from To Love-Ru. You think she'll be a good fit?"
"Hm. A talented scientist. Yes, a good choice." Mitsuru wastes no time. It's impossible for you to follow the process she undertakes to 'lock on' to the girl in question. After finishing typing out a heavy block of code, she retrieves a blank card from the drawer and places it into the press. The press clamps down on the card and makes a loud whirring noise. Smoke flows from under the sealed platform before the top lists away and reveals a freshly minted card.
An eccentric looking girl wearing a strange white and purple outfit, with pink hair and green eyes. A devilish looking tail flails behind her. "LALA" is written in the bottom right corner just like the last card.
"There she is."
You slip the card from the machine and inspect both sides, the stats listed on the back show a monstrous level of strength and incredible intellect. "Hopefully she won't mind being tasked with being your assistant."
"She will not. I ensured that this particular incarnation of Lala is utterly obsessed with you."
"Gee, thanks," you groan. You retrieve the hammer (name pending) from the table and slide her into the chamber. You push the handle forward.
"LALA SATALIN DEVILUKE!"
This time you properly brace yourself for the recoil. You twist the barrel around counter clockwise.
"SHATTERING!"
You pull the trigger and rip a hole in reality. Again, the air before you shatters like stained glass before reforming into the shape of the titular Lala Satalin Deviluke. The pink haired girl is confused to say the least. She looks around the laboratory before her eyes land on you, she gasps and rushes over to pull you into a breath stealing hug.
"Oh my goodness, it's really you!" You pat her on the back to beg for mercy. Mitsuru clears her throat. Lala turns to face your short friend and squeals, before pulling her in for an unwanted hug too. "And Mitsuru-chan! Am I dreaming?"
"I can assure you, this is no dream," Mitsuru replies, "I suppose you already know why you're here?"
Lala salutes, "Yes ma'am, Lab Assistant Lala is here to help!"
"Wait, she already knows?"
Lala nods, "Yep! This is from the first volume of Harem Hero, where you and Mitsuru summon a girl to help you build all of your cool weapons and armor! Although it wasn't me you summoned in the manga," she shrugs.
"This is starting to hurt my head," you complain, "So you already know what's going to happen in the future?"
Mitsuru clarifies, "As I am not aware of our own future, I cannot pinpoint an individual who truly knows what is to come and summon them for information. As I said, any resemblance is merely a coincidence."
"You say that in the manga too," Lala adds.
"For example, Lala's version of events does not feature herself as the second one summoned. Ergo, from here our paths will diverge radically."
"I think I get it," you sigh, "I hope we didn't interrupt anything important."
"It's nothing to worry about! I tend to wander off without my Papa knowing anyway!"
You try to scope out what type of Lala you're speaking with, "Aren't you living on Earth right now?"
"Uh-huh, I met some really good friends while I was there, and I even got introduced to you!"
Mitsuru cuts in, "While we're here, have you decided on the second card you wish to forge?"
You nod, "Since we already have Rias on the books, it only makes sense to get some help from her right-hand woman. Akeno Himejima."
Mitsuru does not air any objections. She simply begins the process anew. Lala pays rapt attention as she works at making the requested card a reality. Again, the press is slammed down, and again you are handed a new card. This one bears the smiling face of the serene yet dominant Akeno.
"Next time we get into a fight we can test it out."
Mitsuru nods, "You can use multiple cards in the Sledgehammer, but it requires a large amount of power. The current limit before it overloads is three."
"Enough for Rias, Akeno and Lala."
Lala snatches the gun from your hands and admires it's form, "Ooo! Sledgehammer-kun is so cute! I love your work Mitsuru-chan!"
"Thank you. But with your assistance we will create something even greater, I hope I can rely on you."
"Yes sir! Let's get to work right away!"
Before the two start some chaos, you decide to establish just what's going on, "What are you two going to be working on exactly?"
Mitsuru adjusts her glasses, "With our weaponry now capable of defeating the enemy, we must protect the operator. We will be creating a defensive system that can protect you from harm."
Lala slams her fist into the palm of her hand, "Just like Peke!" Your eyes drift up to the small broach/creature that rests on top of her large, poofy hat. "Hm. The design you come up with in the manga is super cute," she cheers, "I hope we can recreate it properly!"
"I much prefer function over form," Mitsuru says staunchly, "However, if we have time – perhaps aesthetics can be considered as well."
The two girls hustle over to the whiteboard wall and begin scribbling down a series of schematics and equations that go right over your head. As Mitsuru said, some of it you had picked up over years of knowing her, but at her best she's completely incomprehensible. She's on a level above even the university professors you both dealt with when you attended together.
The blueprints start out as a chaotic series of scribbles, a pair of duelling visions for what this armor should look like and how it should function. Eventually a consensus is reached, although you suspect that Lala stepped aside because of her adoration and respect for Mitsuru. The board is wiped clean and the design process begins anew, this time with a clear unity of vision. It's impressive to see them both work at the same time.
You dip in and out of wakefulness as the two girls work hard on concocting their new invention together. Every time you peel your eyes open from your spot on the couch, they move a step forward. Prototyping and testing turns into physical examples and iterations. They move at such an incredible speed that soon every spare surface is littered with models, parts and experiments. You finally come to when Lala shakes you awake.
"Come look at what we made! It's amazing!"
You climb up from the couch and walk through to the other side of the garage, where an… interesting suit of armor is hanging from one of the old car lifts. It reminds you of a Power Ranger. There's a visored helmet, a chest-plate, gauntlets and shoulders, and kneepads and boots. The visor is designed to look like the very shattered fragments of reality that summon the girls who help you, multi-coloured triangles arranged into a dazzling pattern. You notice that a similar design motif has been applied to several other parts of the costume as well, down the sides of the chest and legs, and on other key points like the shoulders and boots. The white and rainbow design screams 'hero' to you. No doubt it was Lala's idea to make it like this, the bold, curved shapes, thick lines and bright colours bare no small resemblance to her own alien attire.
"What do you think?" she asks, swinging on the heels of her feet.
"It looks good, but how protective is it?"
Mitsuru chuckles to herself, "Fufu. How protective? Capable of withstanding the force of a tank shell, completely bulletproof to nearly every calibre of round from up to a distance of five meters, and double layered with protective padding and join support systems to protect your bones. I'd be impressed if you found a way to get a scratch wearing this. Dare I say, it's our masterpiece."
"Oh, and this too!" Lala holds out a small bracelet with a pair of black bat wings attached to it, "This device is based on Pyon-Pyon Warp-Kun, I called it Pyon-Pyon Armor-Kun! When you press this button, the armor will be instantly transported to your body, allowing you to use it anytime, anywhere!"
"Wow, that is pretty amazing," you agree. You take the wrist-mounted device from her and wrap it around your left arm, "What did you decide to name it?"
Mitsuru smiles, "The Advanced Interdimensional Support and Protection Module-"
"-Herarmor-Kun!"
"Her… Armor? As in, Harem and armor?"
"Yep!"
"Not so sure if it'll roll off the tongue that well." In response to your criticism, Lala pulls a heart-rending face so powerful that you immediately acquiesce. Quivering bottom lip, watering eyes and all. "Okay. I suppose it's fine. Not like we're marketing ourselves at the moment anyway." Mitsuru casts a shifty glance aside that immediately arouses your suspicions.
With the armor done, Lala attaches herself to your left arm, "Honey! Let's go out on a date! Can we? Can we?"
"You worked hard. Taking a little time to relax can't hurt."
"I'll do the finish touches, you two go have fun together," Mitsuru says, waving you out of the lab and onto the courtyard, now if only you had a matching vehicle to go with it to get you places.