Editor(s): Speedphoenix, Joker
The first thing I did after parting ways with Nell, Enne, and the princess was to jump into a group of armed men. Unlike me, they weren't dressed in formal attire. Nor were they permitted on castle grounds. They were, by all accounts, trespassing in the king's garden.
"Take this, asshole!" I grabbed the nearest intruder by the face, gave him a good squeeze, and catapulted him into one of his allies before any member of the group managed to recover from the shock of me appearing out of thin air. Admittedly, the way I opened was dirty, but even so, their inability to act was their problem, not mine.
"W-who the hell are you!?"
Rather than answering his question, I chose to give him a good old roundhouse kick to the gut before dragon punching the person beside him and sending the poor soul spiraling through the air.
"What the fuck is going on!? God damn it!"
Finally, only after watching four of their allies fall did they draw their swords and start swinging. There was a whole group of them, but the difference in our stats made avoiding damage as easy as counting to 1. I worked my way through the crowd with punches and kicks as I weaved between their attacks. The fact that I easily snapped their blades with nothing but my bare hands left them too dumbfounded to react before they were incapacitated.
"Do you understand what yo—" The man who seemed to be in charge attempted to reason with me, but I wasn't having any of it.
"Shut the fuck up, retard! I don't have time for your shit!"
After getting a running start, I lifted the lower half of my body and drop-kicked him in the face. With that, the last man standing fell, or rather, didn't fall. My attack had buried his head in the wall behind him and locked him in place.
A few minutes was all it took for me to render the entire squadron unconscious at my feet.
"That was quite the rampage, Masquerade."
A certain familiar lady knight greeted me in an exasperated tone. She, Carlotta De Maya was not only Nell's boss, but as evidenced from the numerous men trailing behind her, also the leader of an entire order of paladins. I didn't exactly know her well, but she wasn't a stranger. She'd offered me plenty of aid and supported several of my endeavors when I first visited Alshir.
"Yeah, well, you'd probably feel like going on a rampage too if you were me. You think I can just sit around and take my time while a bunch of horny ass nobles are hitting on my fiancée? Fuck no! I've gotta hurry the hell back and spray the bastards until they buzz off."
"The way you're describing the situation almost makes it sound like you can quite literally see it happening." She chuckled before continuing in a more curious tone. "And when exactly did the two of you get engaged? I wasn't aware of you being so close."
"Yeah, we weren't, but then things happened."
"Things?"
"Yeah, and lots of 'em."
"I see…" she chuckled. "I was hoping for a more informative answer, but I guess that'll have to do for now."
"Anyway, if you're here, I'm guessing I probably wouldn't be wrong to assume you're already done taking out all the goons you were supposed to be in charge of, right?"
"Correct. We've subdued and captured every group you informed us of before they'd even realized that they'd walked straight into a trap."
"Sweet. Then all that's left is for us to take care of the few remaining guys hanging around inside the castle and call it a day."
"I concur. No mercy will be spared for any who try to bring harm to Nell."
We exchanged a pair of vicious grins as we began making our way back to the castle. As was made evident by our dialogue, we were in the midst of a joint operation. My investigations ultimately led me to conclude that most of the church did not, in fact, want to see Nell removed. There were only two major players that did, a pair of cardinals. One was the asshole I'd spied on, and the other was one of his close friends. Not even their subordinates seemed all that keen on obeying them, but I hadn't known the extent to which their influence spread.
That was why an alliance with the church hadn't come easily. Carlotta belonged to an order outside of those that fell under their command and she was the only influential figure in the religious organisation that I knew I could trust. Even the king had vouched for her. Still, my first attempt to approach her hadn't gone so well as the person in question had not been present. She had been out on a job with no firm expected return date, so at the time, I'd given up on securing the church's cooperation.
Fortunately, she happened to get back just in the nick of time, so I got in touch and asked for her help. Knight Lady immediately offered her assistance after hearing of the circumstances. It seemed that she wasn't exactly all that keen on letting "senile old geezers run the church as they pleased." The efficacy of her aid seemed to know no bounds. She was able to, in the blink of an eye, determine all those that would take our side, and those that wouldn't. The overly-competent paladin even went as far as to immediately speak to and persuade everyone that needed persuading. Thanks to her, I was able to more or less throw the very concept of giving a shit about the church's affairs right out the window. And that wasn't even the end of it. She was even able to deploy a group of knights in order to help me with the task I had at hand: apprehending everyone involved. This referred to not only the groups of thugs that had been positioned near many of the city's more important government facilities, but also the soldiers poised to arrest them.
The "genius plan" that my foes had conducted was a basic implementation of the classic match-pump approach. They had planned to secretly create a problem such that they could take credit for solving it. That is, all of the thugs gathered in Alshir today were only present because they'd been hired. Though I had no intention of referring to them as anything but some idiot's lackeys, most of the ruffians were technically allysian soldiers, specifically ones that had sided with the prince during his attempted uprising. As they were just following orders, none of the men had been punished, even after the king had wrestled back his control over the country. But that didn't mean that they had truly been forgiven. Their colleagues, along with others aware of their misdeeds, always gave them looks of suspicion and disrespect. And evidently, that was something that they were far from happy with.
That was likely one of the reasons that Argus had been able to persuade them to do his bidding. I wasn't sure exactly how the conversation went, as it had happened before I arrived in Alshir. Whatever the case, it didn't actually seem like the thugs were even aware that they'd been set up, which meant they were probably going to be silenced the moment they played their roles. Eh, not my problem. That's what they get for making poor decisions and picking shitty allies.
If Nell took no part in removing the attackers and simply continued to enjoy the evening while her political opponents had their men wrap everything up, then it would be possible for them to use the incident as evidence to claim that she was unnecessary and that it was they who truly kept Allysia safe.
If their propaganda was to be spread to the public, then Nell's position was sure to worsen. Because her country was too stricken by fear to blindly put its trust in her. The people needed someone or something capable of delivering certain victory. They needed a symbol, a symbol in which they could put their trust, a symbol that would never let them down so long as their beliefs held firm. If they knew of the extent of Nell's power, then they would not have been anywhere near as willing to badmouth her. But they didn't. That was why they spread the rumours they heard. And that was why learning that she'd simply ate, drank, and danced while the nation's monarch was put under threat would shatter the little bit of hope they had left for her.
"I have to say, you're quite the terrifying man." Knight Lady spoke to me as we marched towards our next objective.
"What do you mean?"
"Your combat prowess is ridiculous. Normally, men of your caliber aren't expected to have any other skills, but you've proven, through this, that you're also highly proficient at gathering information. The fact that you've gathered this much information all by yourself almost leads me to suspect that you're all-seeing."
"…Alright, fair enough. I do seem kinda terrifying, if you put it that way," I said with a bit of a smile. Knight Lady's guess was surprisingly accurate. I wasn't exactly all-seeing, but I was able to see and hear whatever I wanted so long as I deployed my evil eyes and evil ears appropriately.
The days that I'd spent in Alshir were busy. I was always doing something or another behind the scenes, regardless of whether I was learning etiquette, getting the art of dance hammered into me, or playing house with Enne and the princess. Toiling away at espionage ultimately proved itself an excellent investment. The retard I was up against had never even considered the possibility that I was good enough at sneaking around to hear him rant about his plans within the confines of his own home. The fact that he repeatedly divulged every last detail right in front of me had made me cackle on multiple occasions. Heh. That's what you get for underestimating a Demon Lord.
That said, knowing was only half the battle. Not even I could single handedly wipe out all the rogues in the capital myself, at least not in a timely manner. There were far too many of them. Enlisting the help of the king's men was also unfortunately not possible. The royal guard was too busy with security and had no time to spare for my antics. Fortunately, Knight Lady had swooped in at the last minute and saved the day.
"But I mean, honestly, it's kinda par of course. Being a part of the hero's party is supposed to be something reserved for the best, ain't it?"
"You're implying that you're actually one of her subordinates," said the paladin, with a knowing grin.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I casually shrugged off the question. "It looks like the royal guard's run into a group of thugs just up ahead. There's a second group of the retard's men sitting a bit further away. Looks like they're waiting around before stepping in and 'helping out,' probably 'cause it'd seem suspicious if they popped out of nowhere the moment the battle started'." I narrowed my eyes as I looked a bit further off in the distance. "What do you say we wipe 'em out while feigning ignorance?"
"Gladly." She glanced over her shoulder and barked an order. "Listen up, men! Anyone that isn't a royal guard is hostile. Apprehend them all, regardless of what they say!"
"Yes ma'am!"
The paladins serving under her, Nell's coworkers and colleagues, raised their arms in an enthusiastic cheer as they picked up the pace.
***
I continued leading the group for a while. It took a few minutes for us to reach the point of conflict.
Though the king's men had been caught by surprise, they were able to hold their own against the thugs-cum-soldiers. In fact, it looked like they were likely to come out on top even if we didn't interfere, especially since other members of the royal guard were sure to reinforce them in due time. This current status was in part a result of the men being on high alert. The king had warned them that the castle would be attacked—albeit indirectly as to not allow any potential ne'er do wells to learn that we were onto Argus' plans.
"Alright Knight Lady, I'm going to leave backing up the royal guard to you."
"Roger that. Where are you headed?"
"Oh, you know, just over to the ball. I'mma take this opportunity to make the asshole behind all this shit aware we're onto him, and then rub a bit of extra salt in his wounds for good measure."
With that and a few more parting words said, I ran off. Though I mentioned heading to the ball, I wasn't actually heading over there immediately. It was my second stop. My first was one with a much higher soldier population. I snuck behind the group waiting to make a dramatic entrance, and immediately did something that would have caused most unsuspecting onlookers to raise a brow and think me insane: I tiger kneed the air, followed it up with a command grab, and began spinning an arms around and around overhead.
If anyone with Magic Eye was to regard the situation, they would immediately come to realize that I wasn't crazy. Or alone.
"Why can you see me!?"
"Did you think that such a pathetic attempt at concealing yourself would allow you to escape my eyes, fool?" I laughed maniacally as I picked up the pace and started spinning my arm with even more force.
After gaining enough momentum, I released the ankle I'd been holding onto and slung its owner into the midst of the enemy's ranks. The speed at which he moved disturbed the formerly see-through man's spell and rendered him visible right as he crashed into his allies. Hmm… looks like I got a third of them. Ehhh… was gunning for half, but good enough, I guess.
Those that hadn't fallen to the initial assault drew their weapons and encircled me.
"Are you… the hero's subordinate?" I was addressed by a guy whose face was suspiciously hidden underneath a full helm. His armour was a bit fancier than everyone else's, which seemed to suggest that he was the unit's commander. The only other noteworthy fact I gleaned was from his voice. He sounded like he was around the age at which most men went through their mid-life crises.
It went without saying that I knew exactly who he was, even in spite of the fact that his face had been hidden from view. My intel told me that he was one of the men serving under the asshole that caused the incident we found ourselves in on the way to the capital.
"Oh, looks like you guys already know me," I said. "That's right. I'm one of the hero's most faithful underlings. And that's why, as a dem—er, as one who believes in and enforces justice, I'm here to give a couple baddies a good old spanking."
"If justice is your goal, then you shouldn't be attacking us! We're just here to help because we noticed that the castle was about to be subject to an assault!"
"That's bullshit and you know it! You dickheads were totally just sitting around even though you clearly know that the royal guard's already in combat!"
"That's a misunderstanding! And completely unfounded! You have no basis for such a claim!" shouted the commander. "If you continue to antagonize us, then we will judge you as one of the intruargh!?"
I couldn't be fucked to listen to him any longer; I already knew that he was far from innocent, so I shut him up with a fist to the face and jumped his men.
"What!? How dare you!" shouted one.
"You underhanded coward!" screamed another.
"Thanks for the compliment." I flashed a snarky grin as I took the man out.
The soldiers were pretty well trained. They started fighting back as soon as I initiated, but still, they were far too weak. Even the Wicked Forest's goblins were more of a threat. Though I was flinging their unconscious bodies all over the place, I wasn't actually killing anyone given all the potential negative repercussions. I was instead making use of the techniques I normally used to play with the girls; all the control that I'd learned from doing my best not to hurt the members of my family allowed me to output just enough strength to knock each man out without any difficulty.
Back home, I was even frequently called upon just to crack eggs. Heh. They even call me the Demon Lord of Egg Cracking. You wish you were this badass.
"Alright, that just about wraps that up," I said as I glanced towards the royal guards that Knight Lady had set out to assist. "And it looks like she's done too."
I still had a few things left on the agenda, so I left cleaning up after me to Carlotta, grabbed the commander by the nape of his neck and dragged him along as I headed off to the ball.
"…So the Masked Meister finally makes his entrance," Argus spoke in a bitter tone. The unexpected circumstance he'd arrived at was not one that fell in his favour.
His reaction caused a chain reaction. Many other nobles began gasping in surprise and stating their opinions over the reveal.
"So he's the Meister that everyone's been speaking of as of late?"
"The man who saved the country itself…"
"I would have expected a much older and more accomplished man. His age has defied all my expectations."
Because I had not only debuted in high society, but followed through on my plan to minimize the attention focused on Nell. By entering the room unmasked.
There wasn't any point in wasting my time on any of them, so I ignored the countless stares coming at me from every which way and advanced through the parting crowd in order to make my way over to the king.
Upon arriving at a distance from which we could reasonably converse, I dropped the unconscious deadweight, whose armour clattered as it fell to the ground, and took a knee.
"And who might this be, Meister?" The king addressed me by my mask-based title to confirm my identity to those still unsure of Argus' claim.
"He is the man in charge of the forces who wished to cause you harm, Your Majesty."
Seeing my actions and hearing the respectful manner in which I addressed him caused him to put on an expression that seemed like something halfway between a smile and a cringe; he was as put off by the display as he was amused.
"…I doubt I will ever be able to grow accustomed to hearing you speak in such a manner," he said, too quietly for anyone not in his immediate vicinity to hear.
"I wouldn't worry about it," said Nell. "He's probably just messing around and half-doing it for fun, as usual."
The king allowed himself to chuckle at the remark, albeit only momentarily. He soon returned to wearing the dignified mask that was his public face and solemnly nodded.
"Excellent work. But for what reason have you brought the enemy commander all the way here?"
"His presence is necessary, Your Majesty, as he will play a key role in capturing his allies," I said. "Might I have a moment of your time such that I may reveal this incident's perpetrator?"
"…Very well." The king agreed after taking a moment to feign contemplation. "I suppose that there is no issue in providing you such an opportunity. It is only fitting given your contributions in quelling this attack."
"You are too kind, My Liege." I bowed my head prior to speaking to hide the fact that I was chuckling at the king's willingness to play along with the little skit I'd put together.
With all due respects paid and the monarch's decision made, I stood up, turned around, and directed a glare at a certain aristocratic fuckwad.
"Hello, 'Sir' Ladorio. It looks like we finally meet," I said. "I'm Y—Wye, one of the men blessed with the pleasure of working under the hero."
My words seemed polite, but my tone was far from it. Everything I'd said to him was covered in a layer of sarcasm and distaste. That, combined with my snarky grin, caused him to scrunch up his brow, but he held back his rage and returned my greeting with an amicable smile.
"It is an honour to be one remembered by this country's saviour," he said. "What can I do for you?"
"Well, you see, I couldn't help but notice the crest on this man's sword," I removed the unconscious commander's weapon, sheath and all, raised it into the air, and slowly panned it around the room in order to give everyone present a nice, long look. "And I was placed under the impression that it was yours."
"…It certainly is."
The piece of shit's reply caused the crowd to stir. Nobles of all different ranks and allegiances began whispering to one another as they discussed the revelation. While he didn't seem to mind his colleagues talking behind his back, he wasn't pleased by the blatant accusation.
"He certainly is under my command, but I don't see why you've not only knocked him unconscious, but even accused him of something so ludicrous. He, like the rest of my men, were ordered to stand guard in order to bolster the castle's security." The two-faced snake dropped his friendly facade in favour of a cold, scornful stare.
"Security? My good sir, surely even you are aware that the royal guard is already responsible for that precise task." I, on the other hand, continued to smile.
"That goes without saying. However, I felt that bringing my men was in the best interest of everyone present for this event. I assigned them to their current posts as a contingency, as I happened to hear rumours of a potential attack."
"And why, exactly, did you choose not to report the possibility of such an attack to a higher authority?"
"I did. I informed many individuals related to the military and its affairs that the attack seemed likely to occur and stated that I would be bringing my men along as a countermeasure. I followed all standard procedures and ensured that all my actions and decisions were well documented. I can even have these documents brought to you, if you so wish."
While a part of me doubted his claim, his confidence led me to believe that it was more likely true than not. I shot a glance in the king's direction in order to ask him if he knew anything, but his only reply was a small shake of the head. Hmm… he doesn't know. I'm guessing that probably means this shitface over there used his connections. He probably had the guy that's backing him help him out or something.
"And frankly, I am not sure what to make of this situation. I cannot believe that you would bring in one of my men and accuse him of leading our assailants. I am sure that there is some sort of misunderstanding at play. However, what you have done remains a fact. There will be consequences if I find that the circumstances call for them, even if you are Allysia's saviour, for my men are innocent," he said, shamelessly.
"Bullshit!"
I struck a pose and pointed at him as would a lawyer. Normally, the term screamed would have been "objection," but I wasn't exactly a lawyer, so I'd taken a minor creative liberty.
"Uhm… Wow. He just made a really evil looking face," said a certain onlooker.
Shut up, Nell! All I did was grin!
"Listen up, Shithead. I know you're fucking retarded, so I'll take this nice and slow and make sure I explain every step along the way. I should be the one talking about consequences here. Do you know what your men were doing when the royal guard started engaging the enemy? Sitting around and fucking watching, that's what. They were literally waiting so they could make it seem like they made it just in the nick of time. All for that dumb little scheme you've got spinning around in that half functional brain of yours."
"And what evidence do you have to back this claim? You can't possibly expect your word alone to suffice, can yo—"
"You're right. I can't prove it. But I don't need to. You know why? Because I've got evidence that you're behind this whole attack in the first place."
A dark laugh echoed throughout my mind as I watched him freeze up and turn pale. Heh. Fucking retard. Did you seriously think I was going to think testifying would cut it? You think you're the only one with plans? Hell naw, bitch.
I opened up my inventory and pulled a crystal ball out from within it, one that sat atop a square-shaped cushion.
"This thing's called the Crystal of records. Activating it causes it to record all the magical energy around its target and store it. Activating it again will project it into the air so you can see what it's got saved."
In other words, it was basically a camera capable of displaying holograms. Unfortunately, it was far from what I wanted in a device capable of snapping pictures. The magical mechanism through which it worked was imperfect. It not only produced poor quality images, but was also incapable of rendering them in anything but black and white. To make matters even worse, it was one time use. Each crystal could only store a single image.
The crystal was in fact not something I'd bought for the sake of exposing the noble stiffened before me, but rather a purchase I made for the sake of taking pictures of my family. Unfortunately, the image quality was so poor that I ended up giving up on the whole endeavour. In fact, I'd judged the item as useless and chucked the ones I still had left into the back of my dimensional rift. Finding it applicable in a circumstance like this one was something I literally never saw coming. Well, Camera, I admit it. You've done well. And don't worry, the service you've done me won't be going to waste. I hereby formally acknowledge you as an honorary member of my bag of tricks.
This wasn't the only image capture device that I had access to. It was technically possible for me to use the catalog to purchase a much more modern camera, but it simply wasn't worth it. Items that involved pieces of technology outside the scope of this world's current understanding of science had ridiculously high price points. That was why I could afford things like cards or board games, but not consoles or computers. I don't exactly have enough cash to just go around throwing it at luxuries like that. At least not yet.
"That said, explaining its functionality is only going to get us so far. So how about we do a little demonstration?" I turned to Nell and the two children standing beside her. "Say Cheese."
"Huh? What? Wait!" said Nell, in panic.
"Cheese? Are you talking about the food?" asked Iryll.
"…Peace." Unlike the other two, the sword knew exactly what was going on, so she raised her index and middle fingers to form a V right as I began channeling my magical energies through the orb in the palm of my hand.
After sucking up my mana, the device spent a few moments flickering. Once that was done, I once again poured my magic into the crystalline object, which caused it to make a sound not unlike a lightsaber as it projected the photograph it had taken into the air. The image clearly showed a flustered hero, a somewhat confused princess, and a photogenic sword girl.
"As you can see, it basically turns a scene into an image based on what was going on when it was used," I explained. "Alright, I'm going to put this one away so I can keep it as a family heirloom."
"Yu—Wye, please…" said Nell.
"He… certainly does never change," added the king.
The two exchanged a pair of exasperated grins, which I proceeded to ignore as I grabbed another crystal from the subspace that was my inventory. I channeled magic into it the moment fished it out and displayed the image stored within.
"This is the evidence I was talking about earlier."
Illustrated before me was a pair of men. The two were standing in an alleyway, and were clearly being wary of their surroundings as they discussed something in secret.
"The man on the right is one of the ones that attacked the castle. I've already had him thrown in the dungeon, so you can double check later if you don't feel like taking my word for it."
I'd left escorting the prisoners to Knight Lady after explaining the circumstances to her. Given her competence, I was fairly certain that everything was already all nice and sorted. Taking a picture was the route I'd chosen, but it wasn't the only one available. There was actually a magical device capable of detecting lies. Making use of it would have allowed me to immediately prove that the fuckwad was guilty, but unfortunately, it was installed elsewhere and far too large to be moved.
"And on the left is the man he's secretly whispering to," I said. "And would you look at that! He sure seems familiar, doesn't he? I wonder where I've seen him before… Oh, right! He looks just like the guy I brought with me. Weird, huh?" I took a moment to gloat with a smirk before continuing. "What's the matter, Argus? Cat got your tongue? You look a little under the weather."
The noble's face twitched as he tried his best to remain calm. But he couldn't. He knew exactly what this image represented.
"I-I have nothing to do with this! E-even if this image is not fabricated, it most certainly represents actions that my subordinate took of his own accord. I-I did not order him to do any such thing!" Beads of cold sweat dripped down his forehead as he stuttered out a series of excuses. "A-and this item is one that you have prepared! I-it is not possible for us to confirm that it truly does what you say! This is trickery, trickery, I say!"
Yup. I figured he'd cut the poor guy loose. Fucking disloyal piece of trash.
"Ehhh… you know what, fair enough," I said. "But it just so happens that I have another piece of evidence I'd like you to examine."
I walked over to the corner of the room and grabbed one of the items I'd asked the king to prepare in advance: the gramophone. I grabbed a record from my inventory and showed it off to the crowd as I wheeled the machine over.
"Ladies and gentlemen," I set the disk in the device as I addressed the crowd. "I have for you tonight a very interesting recording, one that I wish you all to hear. It tells the tale of a certain pair of unfortunate souls deficient in spatial awareness, fools that failed to realize that they were not the only participants in their conversations. I would very much appreciate it if you were all to listen."
"N-no! S-sto—"
Shitface immediately realized what I was getting at. He reached for the device in order to stop it, but I grabbed his arm, pushed him onto the ground.
"Now, now, I know that you happen to be incredibly excited, but you must be patient and wait like everyone else."
After flashing yet another cocky grin, I plopped myself onto the man-turned-makeshift chair in an ultimate show of disrespect and started up the gramophone.
"How are we in terms of progress?" A haughty male voice played from the gramophone's horn. It was spoken with all the pride and elegance one would expect from a member of the nobility.
"Far, sir. Everything is going smoothly," answered a second, gruffer man. "They've taken the bait. It's not a stretch to say that they were overjoyed to see us seeking their aid."
"That is wonderful. But do they truly believe that they have a chance at success?" asked the first man. "I am merely asking to sate my curiosity. Whatever the case, the agreement brings us nothing but convenience."
"They do not. They appear to think of themselves as sacrifices, sacrifices necessary to right all that is wrong with the current state of our country."
"Then let us hope that they proceed with the best feet forward. For this country's sake."
"I'm sure they will, sir."
The two men exchanged a sinister laugh.
"Excellent. It appears that the assault against the castle will proceed as planned. Let us move on and discuss some of the finer details."
The recording continued to play, disclosing detail upon detail as the pair discussed their "perfect plan." In spy movies, the heroes and villains alike often spoke in code due to the fear of being tapped, but neither Argus nor the person he addressed did any such thing. He knew not of modern technologies, and he likely considered his home to be one of the few places where it would be safe for him to speak without restraint. Thanks to his lack of caution, I was able to not only learn everything that there was to know about the scheme he'd concocted and come up with a wide variety of countermeasures, but also present evidence in the form of his very own words. If anything, wiring up his house with devices capable of recording his voice had turned out to be much more difficult than any other part of the process of screwing him over. Heh heh heh. You see how one sided this is, faggot? You see how you got totally cornered by some bullshit I pulled out of nowhere? This is why you should never oppose a demon lord. We've got more than just brute force over you. We've even got better tech.
"As I'm sure everyone here will agree, this is definitely you talking," I said as I crossed my legs from my position on his back. "So? Got any more excuses? Or are you finally done trying to worm your way out of the grave I dug you?"
"H-How did you get that recording!?"
"How? How else? I snuck into your house and had it do its thing while you babbled on and on like a moron. Duh."
"That's impossible! There's no way you could have possibly made it all the way to my study undetected!"
"Oh, right, you did have a bunch of alarms and stuff, huh? Yeah, my bad. I kinda busted it all."
Bitch please. Did you seriously think that a few rudimentary systems would keep you safe? Glancing at his in-home security network with my magic eye provided me with all the information I needed to avoid and dismantle it with ease.
"T-Then that means the evidence you gathered is invalid! Y-you cannot present anything acquired illegally! A-and it is false to begin with! You must have somehow forged it in order to frame me!"
"Dude, you seriously need to learn when to give up." I rolled my eyes as I shrugged off his nonsensical claims. "Look around you. Do you really think anyone here cares what you have to say anymore?"
He craned his neck upward, albeit with difficulty, and looked around the room—only to see a series of cold, hard stares. Nobles were notorious for being two faced assholes, so their expressions may not have revealed their true thoughts. But even so, it was clear that everyone present felt that there was no point in supporting Argus any further. Not even the members of his faction had raised their voices in his defence.
The only individuals not looking at him as one would a piece of trash were his closest buddies, individuals I'd seen frequenting his manor through my Evil Eyes. They were, in fact, not looking at him at all, as they were too busy nervously dripping with sweat.
High society was built around the expectation that one would take whatever path led to the most benefit. Thus, opportunists were rarely pursued for taking advantage of other individuals, even if said individuals happened to be engaging in acts that could only be described as criminal. The same, however, could not be said for the individuals' closest allies. Those deeply involved with the perpetrators, those that offered true collaboration as opposed to a few small favours, were also sure to be punished in the case that the scheme was exposed. You know what, you assholes deserve this. This is what you get for trying to fuck with Nell. And me. Don't worry. You'll have all the time in the world to contemplate your mistakes once I put you six feet under.
"It appears that the circumstances have been made clear and that no one else has anything to say. Guards, take him away!"
The king spoke to the line in a deep, booming voice accompanied by an overdramatic sweep of the hand. His command led two of the men standing by the door to march over. They bowed to me, so I got off Argus' back and allowed them to seize him by the shoulders, forcibly stand him up, and drag him away against his will despite his protests and struggles.
After travelling about halfway through the ballroom, Shithead apparently spotted someone he felt he could rely on.
"M-my Lord! Please, aid me! I have done nothing wrong!"
His eyes teared up as he desperately appealed to an older man who, though middle-aged, stood with his back straight as a rod—
"…I have nothing to say in your defence."
—Only to be coldly shot down. The minister I'd been after, Jaynor Redrius, said not but that single phrase with an expression I was incapable of reading as he watched the guards escort his subordinate out of the hall.
"Wow, Minister, sure are cold, ain't ya? Wasn't he working under your orders?" I walked up to Jaynor and shot him a challenging grin.
Many nobles had stirred when I accused Argus. But the amount of noise came nowhere close to matching the commotion that followed my second accusation. Because unlike the baron, the minister was a key figure, one central to both military and government affairs.
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Masked Meister," he said with a humph. "While I would love to claim that I have no idea what you are talking about, I doubt that I would sound very convincing given the current circumstances."
He tried to play dumb, but unlike target number one, he did it with dignity. He faced me straight on instead of bothering with excuses or explanations. Unlike the other man, who was obnoxiously loud, Jaynor's voice was quiet. It was almost like he was speaking in resignation.
"…A valiant response, Sir Redrius." Again, the king spoke in a loud, booming voice. This time, it was such that he would be heard over the commotion. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" He gave the man a sharp stare as he addressed him, one completely unlike the scripted glare he'd given Argus. It was one that indicated he was trying to discern the other man's intentions.
"You certainly can be rather mean spirited at times like these, Your Majesty," said Jaynor. "You know just as well as I do that this terrifying subordinate of yours has already cornered me. Nothing I say will fail to fall on deaf ears."
"I suppose you do have a point. With that said, I am already well aware that, while Argus often appears to move between different factions, you are the individual to which he has truly sworn his allegiances. As his direct superior, you share in the responsibility of his crimes."
It was a barefaced lie. In truth, neither the king or I had ever been able to find any evidence that definitively linked the two men together as anything beyond a pair of associates. But it was the best we could do. The route of punishing Jaynor for failing to supervise Argus was the only one we could take. Because, while the baron was easy to implicate, the minister was not. I'd kept my eyes on him around the clock. The king's men had too. And yet, we were unable to discern anything beyond the fact that there was a possibility he could have offered Argus some sort of support. That was it.
I had to admit that his position as the Minister of Defence was not undeserved. He was much more wary than the Shithead. Even when the two met in person, Jaynor would always receive Argus not as a subordinate, but as a friend. And unlike the other man, he never said anything that could possibly implicate him of any sort of crime. It's like he knew he was being watched. Hell, I'm willing to bet he did.
"I suppose I must. Very well, I will do as anyone in my position would and see myself out," he said. "Please excuse my early departure."
Jaynor waited for a second pair of royal guards to approach him and followed them out of the ballroom without any sort of resistance whatsoever. Normally, seeing him get taken away would have filled me with a sense of accomplishment. But this time around, it only roused my sense of suspicion. Wait. What? Is that it? He's just letting himself get arrested? What the fuck is he thinking? I… what? I don't understand.
Argus' motivations were much more clear. My investigations immediately revealed that the baron was looking to further his own influence. Jaynor, on the other hand, was an enigma. Nothing I learned told me anything about his true intentions. That wasn't to say I was unaware of his overarching desires. I knew that his beliefs were militaristic and that he was not satisfied with the current state of the nation. But I simply did not see what he had to gain from this operation. Or why he would back off so easily if he'd chosen to go through with something so risky.
All my logical circuits seemed to scream that he was up to something, that he still had a card to play, but I ended up dismissing the thought with a shake of the head. There was no point in thinking too hard about it. This ruse was over, and the damage to his faction was already done. You know what? Fuck it. There's no reason to keep beating around the bush. I might as well sit down, talk to him, and confront him directly. And if he refuses to talk, I'll just make him.
I wasn't the only one harbouring suspicions. The king also continued to regard him warily as he left. But in the end, the monarch, like me, concluded that all was done. At least for the moment. Once the doors closed behind Jaynor, the old monarch turned back towards the crowd and clapped his hands together in order to get the attention of those still discussing the events that had just transpired.
"Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please," he said. "I understand that we have certainly been made to experience a series of unexpected circumstances. However, I see no reason to terminate the ball over such a minor disturbance. The night is still young. I bid you to enjoy it as you see fit."
Wait, did he seriously just call that a minor disturbance? God damn. I mean, I know he's putting on a show to make it look like this wasn't enough to even rattle him, but still, calling it nothing more than a minor disturbance is a biiiiit of a stretch if you ask me.
Though most of the party's attendees were still feeling a bit rustled given the impact of my accusations, the orchestra, which took the king's words as a cue to start playing, soon rectified the ballroom's mood with its music. Shaken couples slowly recovered as they took to the dance floor and began to experience the event as it was originally intended. That said, those that actually began moving to the music were in the minority. Most had instead opted to discuss their observations and speculations as to what was to come with regards to Argus' and Jaynor's judgements and everything that was to follow thereafter.
"Might I have a moment of your time, Meister?"
"I too would love the opportunity to speak with the man known as our country's saviour."
I was approached by several members of the nobility, but I shrugged each off in favor of reuniting with a certain short-haired brunette.
"Great work out there." She greeted me with a smile as soon as I reached her.
"Thanks. Wasn't fun. Working through all that was one hell of a pain in the ass," I groaned. "Like, seriously. This whole high society thing is just… ugh…"
I am soooooooooo glad I didn't reincarnate as some dumb noble. Hanging around these pricks all day just sounds awful. No thank you.
"I had a feeling you'd say that," she chuckled, wryly. "I feel the same way."
"Yeah. But now it's out of the way. So how about we do the thing?"
"What thing?"
"The dance thing, of course." I grinned as I took her by the hand.
"…Mmk." She paused for a moment to redden up before returning my smile and nodding.
"Hehehe…" I led her onto the dance floor as I did my best impression of a sinister chuckle. "It's finally time for me to show you that all that training I did wasn't just wasted effort."
"Okay, then let's see what you've got." She giggled.
After pulling each other close, we slowly began moving in time with the music and staring into each other's eyes as we went round and round.
"Oh yeah, that reminds me. You seemed to have been getting plenty of attention from the guys," I said. "Fucking assholes. They've got guts, hitting on a demon lord's bride like that."
"I think they were just interested in my title," said Nell with a bit of a frown. "They were really persistent about dancing with me too. Turning down all their invitations was really getting to be a pain in the butt."
"I know I don't really know jack shit about noble society, so this might not actually be a big deal at all, but are you sure that was alright? Aren't they technically higher up the food chain?"
"It probably wasn't the best idea. They tend to be really proud, but…"
"But?"
"I-I uhm… d-don't want to dance with anyone but you."
Omgwtfbbq. What is this adorable creature? Dammit, hero, you're one cunning little vixen. That one landed right in the heartstrings. Dealing damage to demon lords is supposed to be hard, damn it!
"…I guess demon lords really are just weak to heroes after all," I muttered. "That was a goddamn critical hit."
"I-It was? You're really tough, so I guess that means that I really am getting stronger after all." She was a bit surprised by the outburst at first, but ended up playing along.
"That's so not fair, Nell! I want a turn too!"
"Mhm… Not fair."
We set out to continue dancing after laughing at each other's antics, but both the princess and my sword butted in and raised complaints. Needless to say, I was ultimately pestered into dancing with both.