Editor(s): Speedphoenix, Joker
With his prompt as my cue, I divulged everything I'd learned to the king by recounting my experiences with Argus' secret agent.
"I was told that Sengillia had been attacked and that Nell was responsible for repelling the incoming force, but I was not made aware that such a scheme had taken place behind the scenes," said the king, after digesting the information.
"Yeah, shit was messy," I said. "You got any ideas as to who the asshole backing that Argus douche might be?"
Allysia's monarch sank into thought and spent a good few moments contemplating the possibilities. But in the end, he shook his head from side to side.
"Unfortunately, the mastermind's identity is not something I am able to determine with the information we possess on hand," he said. "Argus is a cunning man. He is quick to switch between factions and often shifts his stance the moment the winds turn sour. He has never truly worked under any specific individual for long enough for me to deduce his true loyalties." With a sigh, he turned towards the governor. "Might you have any ideas, Sir Raylow?"
"Unfortunately not, my liege. I gave the matter quite some thought, but ultimately reached the same conclusion," he said with a weary, apologetic sigh.
"So which faction is the slimy bastard in right now?" I asked.
"He appears affiliated with several," replied the king. "The one he has the closest ties to, at this precise point in time, is led by one Duchess Emeralda Flowlight, a distant relative of mine."
"And you don't think that this Emeralda chick is behind this whole thing?"
"I do not," he replied firmly. "For the duchess is well… a woman."
I was confused, at first. But then his words sank in. I immediately came to realize that powerful women, like Nell and her boss, were exceptions. Like many of Earth's older monarchies, Allysia's was one in which politics remained male-centric. Women were oppressed, regardless of position, and did not truly make it onto the political stage. They remained observers, save for when they expressed their opinions to their male counterparts. The rule applied even to high ranking nobles, like the duchess in question. And it was for that reason she was excluded from suspicion.
"Any scheme that seeks to harm Lady Nell is one devised by a traitor amongst our ranks, one willing to sacrifice Allysia's well being for his own gain." The governor turned to the king and began to speak as I remained lost in thought. "As such, your majesty, I would like to assist both our hero and her fiancé in this endeavour. My men have already begun working to track down the mastermind."
"…Thank you, Sir Raylow. I know I can always count on you to stand by my side when it counts."
"I would have it no other way, my liege. We understand that you are desperately fighting to make this country a better place for us all. Working to resolve an issue in your court, especially at a time like this, is merely my duty. As one of the citizens that has benefited so much from your benevolence, and a human being, it is something I must do," said Alfyro's lord. "Of course, not all of our co-conspirators, in this case, may feel that exact way. Some of us present may not exactly be human, after all." He threw me a grin before breaking into a laugh.
Hey man, I know I'm not human, but I'm at least humanoid. No need to call me out like that. I totally fit in!
"It is as you say. Likewise, it is only natural for us to also cooperate with Nell, who stands at this conflict's front line," said the king. "I will also be doing a bit of prodding, but not extensively. I will entrust all in-depth investigation to you, Sir Raylow."
"By your will."
"Thanks guys," I said. "This helps. Lots. But just FYI, I'm going to be doing things my own way. I won't hurt anyone that isn't involved but can't really say the same for the people that are. Hope that doesn't cause you too much trouble."
"Please, by all means, do whatever you'd like," said the king. "But I must say, I do feel sorry for Argus. The poor baron has most certainly incurred the wrong man's wrath." He chuckled as he condemned the slimeball I was after to an early death.
"Wait, so you're not going to try and stop me?" I raised a brow. "Huh. Wasn't expecting that."
"I don't see any point in trying. The only person even remotely capable of such a feat would be the fine lady you've decided to wed."
Wouldja look at that! He totally gets it! I didn't even have to explain!
"Don't you worry, Your Majesty! I'll make sure to keep a good grip on Yuki's reins so he doesn't end up spiraling out of control!"
"Very well. If you are confident you will be able to see it through, then that duty will be yours," said the king.
"What do you mean, reins? Am I supposed to be a horse or something?"
"Mhm! That's exactly what I was trying to say. You're a wild stallion filled to the brim with lust. You go crazy whenever there are women around, and even crazier if they're underaged!"
I raised my arms and half opened my mouth, as if to say "What the fuck!?" without actually vocalizing the words. Nell evidently found this action amusing, as seeing it prompted her to begin giggling uncontrollably.
***
After we finished discussing the Nell situation and our plans for the immediate future, we went on to talk a bit about politics, economics, and other issues plaguing the country in broader terms. None of it seemed particularly relevant to Nell or I, so we ended up stepping out and leaving the two older men to their business.
"Alright, so it looks like we've secured ourselves a place to stay while we're in town, but I still think there are a few things on the agenda," I said. "Did you still feel like stopping by the church today?"
The place that we were going to be staying referred to the castle. The king had been nice enough to lend us a guest room for the duration of our visit.
"I know it's starting to get a bit late, but I really should. Staying away for a whole month is sure to have caused them plenty of trouble. You don't have to come with me if you don't want to."
"When did I ever say anything about not wanting to tag along? If you're going, then I am too."
"…Then let's go." A cheerful, content smile flickered onto Nell's face.
Side by side, we navigated our way back through the castle. We walked under its brilliant chandeliers and down its grand hallways as we retraced the steps we'd taken to arrive at the meeting room. Upon turning one particular corner, we found ourselves greeted by another pair of individuals, one of which I happened to recognize. The familiar face belonged to one of the humans I'd met in the demon realm, the sorceress that had stood by Nell's side. The other, less familiar individual seemed much more self-important. The armour he was wearing, which was frankly too fancy for its own good, immediately made me think of him as some sort of douchey frat boy when partnered with the manner in which he conducted himself.
"That's a face I was not expecting to see," said Mr. Fancypants. "Weren't you supposed to be dea—"
He spoke in a bit of a high-handed, condescending manner, but was unable to finish before a louder voice cut him short.
"Nell!" The court mage ran right up to the hero with such vigour that it seemed as if she was going to tackle her, stopping only to avoid a collision.
"Ronia!" Likewise, Nell also exclaimed the other girl's name, clearly also glad to see her.
"The flow of your magical energy… seems normal. And you don't have any obvious wounds. Are you really okay? Does it hurt anywhere? I've gotten even better with healing magic, and I can fix most things now, so let me know if you need anything, okay?"
Ronia rambled on and on as she touched Nell all over and carefully inspected her for any signs of harm.
"I-I'm fine, Ronia. I'm sorry I made you worry."
Evidently, the hero was overwhelmed by her friend's concern, as she ended up on a back foot with a bit of an awkward smile. It was a reaction I totally understood. My impression of the sorceress was that she was the quiet type, so seeing her in such a fluster was quite jarring, to say the least. But that wasn't to say her seemingly extraneous vigour was unjustified. It served as a demonstration of their bond, the extent to which she had been concerned for Nell's well being. So uhh… this is actually making me feel kinda guilty. I probably should've had her stop by a bit earlier instead of keeping her cooped up for a whole month.
"It looks like you really are okay…" Ronia breathed a sigh of relief after finally completing her inspection, after which she immediately turned towards me and bowed. "Thank you very much. For saving my dear friend's life."
The display seemed to tug at Nell's heartstrings, as the hero teared up whilst speaking the mage's name. Likewise, I also found myself smiling to see that she cared so much about the newest member of my family, but as I wasn't all that keen on necessarily expressing that sentiment, I ended up returning the bow with a shrug.
"Hey, don't worry about it, it was nothing. Nell's, you know, kinda important to me too, so I was going to end up doing it anyway," I said. "Oh yeah, speaking of shit that went down back there, how'd things end up turning out on your end? I know Nell was keeping the people hunting you busy, but you guys seemed like you probably still had it pretty rough. Transporting a bunch of noncombatants isn't exactly what I'd call a walk in the park."
The mage had been working with the other member of Nell's party to transport a whole slew of wingbearers. I remembered that their ranks included women, children, and wounded warriors. There were still a few with a good bit of fight in them, but all in all, there was much more cargo than there was anything else. Getting all of them to safety was sure to have been a much more difficult task than it seemed.
"There were no major roadblocks. Nell bought us enough time to call for backup and get to safety."
"I guess that means that pushing my limits turned out to be worth it after all."
The hero smiled, for a moment, but the expression was immediately wiped clean off her face.
"Still, you shouldn't have," said the mage, angrily. "You should've just acted like the coward you are and kept yourself safe instead. Reflect on your choices."
"B-but I already apologized, didn't I!?" stuttered a flustered Nell. "B-besides, if no one stopped to slow them down, then none of us would've made it out alive. Someone had to do it, and I was best suited for the job, so I think I made the right choice…"
"I don't care. Reflect. Now," demanded Ronia, unreasonably.
"U-uhm… okay…"
With no other choice left to her, Nell smiled wryly as she backed down in the face of her friend's wrath. Their discussion was one I found entertaining, so I ended up laughing along heartily before reinjecting myself into the conversation.
"Man, you two are a goddamn riot," I said, with one last chuckle. "Anyway, I'm sure you've still got lots to talk about, but it's getting a bit late, and we've go—"
"STOP IGNORING ME!!"
Nell, Ronia, and I all turned in the shout's direction, and in doing so, caught sight of Mr. Fancypants with his face red and twisted in anger. He was so pissed that the veins in his forehead bulged as his body trembled with rage. Oh yeah, he exists. Riiiiiight…
"So who the hell are you, anyway?" I asked, not out of malice, but because I really didn't know who he was or why he was here to begin with.
"Y-you don't know who I am!? You insolent hillbilly! How dare you!" he shouted. "And it should be me asking you that question! Who are you, and why are you wearing that suspicious mask!?"
Huh? Oh, yeah, right. Almost forgot I was wearing my mask.
…
Wait a second. How the hell does Little Miss Mage over there know that I'm the guy that showed up in the demon realm? The way she segued into the topic was so natural and casual I didn't even realize she recognized me. Hmmm… Oh well, whatever, fuck it. I've already decided that it doesn't matter if people figure out who I am, so I'm not even going to bother thinking about it.
"Who am I?" I repeated the question. "You know, I'm not actually all that sure how I want to answer that." I turned towards the hero and the mage for a quick, not-so-secretive consultation. "How do you girls think I'm supposed to be introducing myself? I can either do my actual name, or an alias, and I'm not actually sure which is better." I communicated the inquiry in a voice that was obviously loud enough for Mr. Fancypants to hear.
As far as the average Allysian was concerned, my name was Wye, and I served as the hero's mysterious companion. But my face had already been revealed to Sengillia's guards, and therefore the world at large. I wasn't all that sure if there was even a purpose in hiding my identity for much longer. Moreover, I was not exactly keen on getting married under a pseudonym. The idea just didn't sit right with me.
"Oh, uhm, hmm… that's a good question," said Nell. "I think you might as well go with your real name since there are already people who know what you look like."
"That's a bad idea," countered Ronia. "If you're going to give him a name, use an alias."
"Why's that?" asked the hero, wide-eyed.
"Anyone you feel strongly about should reveal as little about themselves as possible," she replied, matter-of-factly. "It's best for him to keep using an alias until the very end. No matter what you two end up choosing to do. Anything your enemies learn can be used against you. So it's best to tell them as little as possible."
"H-how did you know how I felt about him!?" squeaked Nell.
"You're bad at hiding your feelings. As your friend, it's easy for me to tell exactly what you're thinking."
"I see…" I said as I took in her explanation. "Alright, well in that case, I'll go ahead and just stick with my alias, since it seems more logically sound," I concluded our impromptu discussion and turned back face Mr. Fancypants. "Who am I? I'm Wye, the hero's mysterious subordinate."
"Did you not just declare that a pseudonym!? What do you take me for!?" retorted Mr. Fancypants, emotionally. "What immature nonsense! I cannot see why any hero would associate with, let alone travel alongside the likes of you."
I ignored his ranting and took the opportunity to analyze him and learn a bit about his identity.
***
Name: Manuel Klauser
Race: Human
Class: Intermediate-Level Knight
Level: 25
***
His stats generally sat between 300 and 350, which meant that each of his fundamental stats was about three times that of the average adult human being. His skills were nothing out of the ordinary given his class, and mainly consisted of things knights seemed like they would like using, such as Sword Mastery and Shield Mastery. All in all, he was pretty strong, for a human, and certainly seemed like someone that most others would consider competent.
"So? What do you want, Manny?" I crossed my arms. "We've kinda got shit to do, so we're not sticking around unless it's important."
"So you do know who I am!" exclaimed Manuel. "If you know who I am, then why did you bother pretending otherwise!? Your actions make no sense!" After shouting his heart out, Mr. Fancypants cleared his throat to shift topics before continuing in a more irritating tone. "Hmph. I can certainly see why so many have lost confidence in the hero if she keeps such ludicrous men in her company. But I suppose that was not something that could be helped. There is no way a mere commoner, let alone a young girl, could possibly live up to the role's expectations! Our leadership's inability to understand that is why this country has been left in such a broken state."
His rant was so accusatory and ridiculous that it caused Magegirl to puff up in anger. And yet, he continued.
"Everything that has happened stems from her lack of power! Compared to her predecessor, who was both charismatic and almighty, she's nothing but an eyesore! She needs to ste—!"
Ronia stepped forward to express her indignation and fight his words off with her own.
But I took action before her.
I rushed forward, grabbed the bastard by the face, and lifted him into the air with one arm.
"You got some balls, dissing Nell in front of me like that."
I spoke in a low hiss as I began to apply force. I was holding back. I didn't intend on killing him just yet, but my digits slowly began sinking into his skull regardless.
"Argghhh!?" He screamed in pain as his bones creaked under the force of my grip. "Y-you dare use force on me!? You won't be getting off easy for this!"
"I don't fucking care."
"D-do you know what you're doing!? My father is a duke! And I'm his second son! For a commoner like you, the act of attacking a noble is more than enough reason for you to lose your he—"
"I. Don't. Fucking. Care."
I casually threw him into a nearby wall after the words left my mouth. The impact was accompanied by a pained groan, after which he collapsed with his back against the wall.
After walking over, I squatted down right in front of him so we saw eye to eye. "I don't care how important you are. I don't care who your father is, or who he knows," I spoke in a low, threatening growl. Each of my words came out slowly, heavily laced with venom. "And since you seem to be having some trouble understanding me, I'll lay it out for you, nice and simple. I do two things, keep my allies safe and destroy my enemies. And so, as someone that's decided to talk shit about my fiancée, I'm going to have to ask you this: are you one of my enemies?"
His face paled. He scampered away from me and to his feet before turning tail and running down the hall whilst screaming the type of line one would normally expect to hear from a small-time criminal. "You'll regret doing this! I swear it!"
While I did keep my eyes glued on his back, I didn't bother chasing him. Instead, I took my sweet time standing back up, half in confusion.
"The hell? Why's he just running off? Wasn't he literally just trying to pick a fight?"
"You know, after seeing that, I think I'm starting to feel bad for him," said Nell, with a dry laugh. "And now that I think about it, I've come to realize that you're really good at scaring people and shaking them down."
"Wow, rude. You're making it sound like I'm some sort of punk," I said. "I mean, it works, right? Hell, I'd even say it's pretty efficient. You can avoid a lot of problems if you just freak out the right people."
As much as I didn't want to acknowledge it, I knew that I had gotten fairly good at the art of intimidation, but not intentionally. The events that had transpired since I turned into a demon lord just so happened to coincidentally grant me with plenty of experience. Man… I've been doing some pretty nasty things, huh? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that making people shit their pants is the kind of skill honest people generally tend to do without. Oops…
"Well, I'm sorry, but it's just an honest observation," She smiled at me teasingly. "But thanks, Yuki. Thanks for getting so mad for me."
"It was nothin'."
"…Fiancée?" Ronia muttered the term suspiciously as she repeatedly switched between staring at the two of us.
"Oh, uhm… Mhm…" Nell fidgeted around before bashfully nodding. "We're getting married. It's not official yet, but that's why he's here with me. We're talking to everybody about it and sorting through all the formalities."
"Oh…" The mage frowned for the briefest of moments, seemingly disappointed, but soon switched to the less-than-expressive expression she usually wore. "I guess that means you'll be retiring. It's going to be lonely around here without you. But if you're happy, I am too."
"Huh? Retiring? I'm not retiring," said Nell. "I'm still going to be keeping at it and doing my part."
"…Are you serious?"
"W-why wouldn't I be…?"
"Nell…" The mage sighed before looking my way sympathetically. "I'm sorry about her. She's not usually this stubborn. But she gets this way sometimes. I don't know why either."
"Ehhhh… I mean, I kinda figured this would be how things played out with her being her, so it's not like I don't know what I'm getting into."
"W-what the heck, you two!? Why are you making it sound like I'm the odd one out?" Nell seemed completely taken aback by the difference between our opinion and hers.
"You know, Nell, I've always thought you were a bit of a weirdo," said Magegirl.
"You're one of the last people I'd ever want to hear that from!"
I chuckled a bit before shifting gears.
"So what were you doing with that retard anyway? You two don't exactly seem like the type to mesh."
All the insults Mr. Fancypants had fired in Nell's direction had clearly gotten the sorceress' blood boiling. The glare she had given him was one that contained no shortage of bloodlust, and was the type one would never give a friend.
"It was for work…" she mumbled. "I was ordered to teach him magic. And I couldn't refuse. Because I'm one of the court's mages, and his father is a duke."
"Eughh… Sounds like a pretty shit job."
"Ronia's one of our best mages, so all sorts of people come to her for instruction."
"Yeaahhh, Iunno about you, but to me, that just sounds like a huge pain in the ass. 'Cause by the sounds of it, you've probably gotta deal with stuck-up assholes like Mr. Fancypants pretty much all the time."
"Unfortunately, you're right. There are so many of them it drives me insane. It doesn't make sense for me to waste my precious time on idiots like him. I'd never even look at him twice if not for work."
The changes in the mage's expression were normally rather diminutive. But not this time. She was clearly way more than fed up with all the shit she had to put up with. That… sounds stressful. And not the type of job someone so young would be happy to be stuck with. She must've been through a lot. Man, I'm glad I reincarnated as a demon lord. Not having to give a fuck about society or its rules is a godsend.
My new position in life came with the downside of having to deal with everything that came my way myself. There were no social programs or safety nets to support me. But I didn't mind. I preferred freedom over any of the downsides I'd ended up experiencing. You hear that, kids? Becoming a demon lord is something you *should* try at home.
"We've been talking for a long time," said Ronia. "Didn't you two need to get somewhere?"
"Oh yeah! We do!" exclaimed Nell. "We can talk more tomorrow, the day after, or whenever you happen to have time. We'll be staying in the castle, so it should be pretty easy for you to find us."
"Yeah, do stop by," I added. "You're pretty fun to have around, and I'd totally love to hear all about the more embarrassing parts of Nell's past."
"Tough luck, that's not happening, right, Ronia?"
"Yup. Tough luck. I'm telling him everything I know."
"P-please don't!"
And with that, we said our goodbyes and parted ways with Magegirl. Oh man, that was a riot. She's a fun one.
***
After leaving the castle, Nell and I spent a good bit of time walking around the city. It took us roughly half an hour to finally reach the extravagant building that supposedly served as the church's headquarters. As one would expect, it was extremely large and appeared to contain enough history for it to be labelled as a world heritage site.
There was a minor hitch in our plans, and while it certainly did affect us in the short term, it wasn't one that changed anything in the long run. Our original idea was to inform the church of both Nell's revival and our engagement through the lady knight that was her boss. But that fell through, as Nell's direct superior was not currently in town. She had been sent off on a mission in order to accomplish an objective or two elsewhere. We suspected that divulging our engagement to someone higher up the ladder may not have exactly been wise given my lack of association with any of the individuals in question and the current instability of Nell's position, so we decided to hold off on it for the time being.
In fact, I didn't even end up joining her for her report. As someone completely unaffiliated to the church or the officials that were present, I ended up stuck in a waiting room while she caught up with the brass.
She seemed to feel bad about leaving me out to dry, as the first thing she greeted me with upon returning was an apologetic smile before briefing me on everything that came up in her discussions. Carlotta's superior had apparently given her an earful; he had not been content with her prolonged absence. You know, I'm starting to think waiting out here probably would've been the better choice even if I was allowed in. I probably would've ended up getting pissed and acting way out of line.
One thing that I ended up learning long after deciding to marry Nell was that, apparently, marriage in Allysia was a rather simple ordeal. Unlike in Japan, there was no need for anything as complicated as signing a series of documents, nor was it standard practice to marry in a church. I'd assumed that marriage was what churches were for, but apparently, I was wrong. Only high ranking nobles, like dukes and members of the royal line, had to go through such an arduous, ritualistic process.
For those of common birth, an agreement was all that was required to set things in motion. Informing one's relatives wasn't even considered absolutely necessary, though it was naturally common practice. That was another one of the reasons I had tagged along for the journey. I had to meet Nell's parents, or rather, parent. Meeting the woman responsible for single-handedly raising one of the women in my life was a task that even I found monumental. It was, without a doubt, going to be the hardest part of this whole trip. Even just thinking about it made me nervous. Come on, Yuki, you got this. Just run it through a few times in your head, and you'll be fine.
With that thought in mind, we returned to the castle and called it a night.
***
The next morning got off to what could only be described as an unfortunate start. I found myself standing in the middle of the colosseum-like structure attached to the castle, the royal army's training grounds. And when I say colosseum-like, I mean it. It's even got the seats and everything. Anyway, I know exactly what you're thinking. "What the fuck, Yuki? How the hell did you end up there?" Honestly, I'm not really all that sure myself.
I was, of course, not present entirely of my own volition. My morning was a bit of an odd one. I spent most of breakfast half asleep because I'd awoken in response to a conversation between Enne and Nell. After my meal, I was almost immediately visited by some sort of servant. The maid in question had apparently dropped by to inform me that I'd been summoned. Naturally, my first thought was, "why me?" I saw no reason anyone would want to see me over the hero. I had yet to figure out my plans for the rest of the day, so I ended up letting my curiosity get the better of me—only to regret it immediately upon arrival at my final destination.
The noble that had gone out of their way to grab me was one I had the displeasure of recognizing.
"The stage is set, and all is ready for us to engage in single combat!" Mr. Fancypants greeted me with the most self-important grin a human could possibly have. His arms were crossed, and his chin was raised, seemingly just so he could make it look like he was looking down on me.
Oh boy… Not this shit again.
"You want me to duel you…?" I sighed.
"That's right, meister! Pick up a sword and steel yourself so that I can prove once and for all that you're no match for me!"
"Uh huh…" I rolled my eyes as I turned around. "Well, you have fun doing you. I'm heading back to my room. See ya."
"Huh? W-w-wait! Where are you going!? Why are you refusing my challenge!?"
The duke's son spent a few moments in utter confusion before circling in front of me to act as a physical barrier between me and the exit.
"What do you mean, why am I refusing? I don't know about you, but I don't see a reason for me to put up with any of your shit."
Like, seriously? What the actual fuck? Didn't I just kick this retard's ass yesterday? Talk about persistent. At first, I wasn't really sure if Mr. Fancypants was acting tough or stupid. Looking back on our interactions, however, soon led me to realize it was probably the latter. None of the actions he'd demonstrated thus far had reeked of even the slightest bit of intelligence.
All the commotion we caused naturally led the other soldiers present to turn their eyes towards us. They began quietly whispering to one another at a distance, but my fine-tuned senses allowed me to hear them perfectly regardless.
"Hey guys, are you seeing what I'm seeing…? Because I think that's the Masked Meister," said a royal guard.
"It must be. The mask he's got on matches how everyone's been describing it perfectly," said another. "I heard a few of the maids mention that he was staying in the castle for a while. I thought it was just a rumour."
"It looks like he's talking to Sir Manuel," added a third.
"Yeah, it does, but why would the meister be talking to someone like him?"
"Well, you know how Sir Manuel is…"
"Right… Good point. I can't believe even the meister has to put up with him…"
And here I thought I was the only one that thought he was obnoxious. It turned out that there wasn't anyone particularly charmed by Mr. Fancypants' "sociable" personality—and that he apparently caused situations much like the current one all the goddamn time.
"You cannot refuse this request." Unaware of all the gossip going on behind his back, the noble continued to speak in a tone that dripped with confidence. "It comes from both the second son of a duke and the hero's soon to be successor."
"The hero's soon to be successor?" I raised a brow. "And who the fuck is that?"
"Me, of course! Who else!?" He squawked at me indignantly before faking a cough to both regain his composure and shift topics. "I only ended up leaving yesterday because I realized that there was something I had to attend to immediately. I can't have you looking down on me given that I will soon become this country's hero. So today, I'll be showing you my true power."
Alright, let me just get this straight. This dumbfuck's going to be taking Nell's place? Seriously? Gimme a break. Look at how low his stats are… I mean, sure, he's got some pretty good numbers, for a human, but that ain't saying much. Nell has always been much stronger, even when she was just starting out.
"Woooow Manny, you're soooo cool. Self-proclaimed titles are just sooooooo impressive." Again, I rolled my eyes. "But hey, you know what, it's a good dream. Do your best. I'm sure you'll get strong enough to be a hero eventually."
"I-It isn't self-proclaimed!" He shouted, indignantly. "I wasn't the one that brought the idea up, I'm just doing it because I was told that the duty would ultimately fall to me!"
"…So you're telling me that someone else made you step up to the plate?"
"That's right! I was told that my power would be needed for us to keep Allysia stable and that I would need to become our country's next hero!"
Interesting… After making a mental note of the fact that I had lucked out, I began contemplating Mr. Fancypants' circumstances. The man that had been looking to put him on the hero's pedestal was likely one with a vested interest in getting Nell to step down. I very highly doubted that the two were unrelated. The duke's son suited their purposes perfectly. The combination of his lineage and his above-average strength made him the perfect piece to parade around. And his lack of brainpower was, if anything, an advantage, as it was unlikely he would think too deeply about the circumstances or catch on to all of the shady things his sponsors were up to. Too bad working with idiots is a double-edged sword, huh? Time to take full advantage of the situation and milk him for all the intel he's got.
The overly well-dressed noble was certainly aiming high, but intelligence aside, his personality wasn't doing him any favours. A hero was a public figure, which meant he needed to swallow his pride if he wanted other people to like him. Not that he'll be any match for Nell, by any measure, even if he does.
"Alright, Manny, you know what? I've changed my mind. I'll spar with you or whatever. But only under one condition. If I win, then you tell me all about the guy who told you that you'd be the next hero."
"Is that really all you want?" He eyed me suspiciously. "Fine. And if you're strong enough to defeat me, then I might, might, consider allowing you to become one of my subordinates when I finally take on the hero's mantle." He walked over to a nearby shelf and grabbed a pair of wooden blades as he spoke. "But I already know that will never happen. Because I am very, very strong!"
He chucked one of the practice weapons at me whilst continuing to act like a pompous ass.
"Yeah uhh… I'mma just pass on that ahead of time," I said. "You sure you wanna do this with wooden swords and not real ones?"
"Of course! The point of this exercise is for us to better ourselves. There's no rhyme or reason in risking a serious injury in training."
Huh… Wow, he's less of a douche than I thought. I was expecting him to use this as an excuse to try and off me.
"Mr Demon Lord!"
A faraway shout, one certainly outside human earshot, interrupted my thoughts. The appendages on either side of my head twitched as I tuned into the conversation my senses had detected.
"…Mr. Demon Lord?" said Ronia, suspiciously.
"Oh uhm… don't mind that. We were playing a game of make-believe with Lady Iryll earlier. I was the hero, and he was the demon lord, so I guess it must've just stuck," said Nell.
"I see…" The mage didn't seem very convinced, but decided not to pursue the topic any further.
"That sounds really fun, but I don't think we've ev—" Iryll began to speak, but Nell cut her off before she could finish her sentence.
"A-Alright, it looks like he's going to be duelling someone, so let's cheer him on together, Lady Iryll!"
"That sounds like a great idea!" replied the petite princess. "Do your best, Mr. Demon Lord! I know you can do it!"
I decided to entertain the princess by turning around to face her. As I did, she began waving with big, wide motions in order to get my attention. It turned out that the girls were seated in the bleachers. I was a bit surprised to see them all present, but figured that it was probably because Nell had grabbed them before following in my footsteps. Well, Nell, it's going to be up to you to make sure Magegirl doesn't figure out my identity. Don't let me down. I'm counting on you.
It turned out that Mr. Fancypants was every bit as weak as I expected him to be. He didn't have anything particularly interesting up his sleeve, nor any hidden trump cards worthy of note. Even now, he was out of breath. Every consecutive swing caused him to either grunt or pant with exhaustion. I, on the other hand, was still in top form. It took me little to no effort to casually sidestep each and every single one of his attacks.
"Damn it!" he cursed. "Why won't you attack me!? Could it be that you're afraid of my awe-inspiring techni—"
"In your dreams, kid."
I evaded a blow aimed at my torso and smacked him over the head with my wooden armament.
The action was one that, like basically everything else I'd done, caused the princess to brighten up and sing me praise. There were a whole slew of different cheers, but most ultimately sounded like something along the lines of "You're the best, Mr. Demon Lord!"
She wasn't the only one appraising my skills either. The king's men had also become a part of the peanut gallery.
"How fearsome…" commented a soldier. "He's warding off even Sir Manuel's blows with ease."
"I've seen many of Sir Manuel's duels, and I can say for certain that he's one of the toughest fighters I know," said one of his friends. "The meister's ability to overwhelm him so easily, especially without even taking up a stance, is proof that he's simply that much more skilled. But I guess we shouldn't be expecting anything less from Allysia's saviour."
The soldiers' statements weren't exactly accurate. While I certainly didn't have any trouble handling someone of Mr. Fancypants' caliber, it wasn't because I was more skilled than he was. If anything, the opposite was true. He was better than me with a sword; his attacks and feints were, frankly, far more refined than mine.
But the difference in numbers turned the contest into a one-sided exchange. To me, he was practically moving in slow motion. That was why I never got hit, and why I never fell for any of his more deceptive blows. Again, I was reminded that, as a race, humans were incredibly weak. I was fairly certain that I could easily crush his skull and splatter his brains all over the arena if I chose to smack him with all my strength. Even with a shoddy, wooden blade.
Evidence of this could be seen in his exhaustion. The barrages he'd thrown at me, backed by the full extent of his strength, had taken their toll on his stamina. His movements had begun to dull, and his chest heaved with such force that it pushed against his armour every single time he took a breath.
"If I was you, I'd be careful not to drop my sword."
There was no reason for me not to take advantage of the obvious weakness he showed, so I stepped forward after audibly warning him and smacked him in the arm just hard enough to make him involuntarily release his weapon.
"Alrighty, looks like I win."
"N-No! You haven't! Not yet!" Despite literally groaning in pain, he was unwilling to relent. "I won't let this stop me. If I'm to become the hero, then I can't possibly allow myself to lose!" He picked up the wooden sword and took up a stance as he spoke a line that caused me to raise an eyebrow.
Something seemed off. I couldn't stand Mr. Fancypants, but even so, a part of me seemed to be suspecting that he wasn't the scumbag I'd initially made him out to be. He was far too persistent, too desperate to win. The sheer force of will he exhibited made me think it impossible for him to be doing this for fame or glory.
"So why are you trying to take Nell's place anyway?" With that in mind, I went straight to the point and questioned his intentions without beating around the bush.
"Why…? Why!? That should be obvious! The hero is supposed to serve as a symbol of Allysia's power! The hero is never supposed to know difficulty, let alone defeat!" He spoke with impassioned fervour. "But ours has. And the people know. If they didn't, then we could have kept the truth hidden away. But it's far too late for that. We need a new symbol, Meister, one that can put our people's hearts at ease."
He paused to catch his breath, but I remained both silent and unmoving. I wanted to know what else he had to say.
"And that isn't all," he continued. "I can't stand the thought that she, a woman, stands as our people's shield. The battlefield is no place for women! Women are meant to be protected, kept out of harm's way, not stained with blood or guilt or thrown into the frenzy of war! We should be arming them with needles and yarn and leaving the men to bear swords and spears! It's for their own good. So that they can spend their lives in peace."
It was then that I realized I'd got him all wrong. Well, almost. I still think he's a douche, but whatever.
His attitude had initially led me to assume that he too was just trying to screw Nell over for profit. But that wasn't true. He certainly had wanted her to step down, even against her own wishes, but only because he believed it to be for her own good. Because he felt that, as a man, he was responsible for bearing her burden.
He'd just been far too clumsy and proud to immediately express it.
That was why he hadn't reeked of malice.
And why he hadn't seemed exactly like all the other shitheads I'd met. That'd been my initial impression of him as well, but at the time, I'd brushed it off as a figment of my imagination. For fuck's sake, dude. Why the hell are you acting one way when you clearly feel the other? We've got a word for this in Japan, it's called being a "tsundere." Acting like that as a dude just makes you seem like a creep, so knock it off.
"Hmm… I see." He was done with his rant, so I made a short statement as if to appraise his intentions.
"Now come at me, Masked Meister! This isn't over ye—"
I did exactly as he instructed and went on the offence. I drilled a foot into his sword and snapped it in half before dropping low and sweeping his legs out from under him. As he collapsed, face first, I stabbed my own weapon into the ground right by his head.
"Alright, so like I was saying, looks like I win," I said. This time, the victory was too decisive for him to refute me. "Oh, and don't worry about the whole defeat thing. This is just training. No one's going to say jack shit about one botched spar."
He groaned, clearly frustrated. But it was no longer possible for him to claim that he still had a chance, so he allowed the strength to leave his body in an admission of defeat, all whilst biting his lips in vexation.
"Alright. And now you've gotta apologize to Nell."
"W-what!? Why would I have to do that!?"
"Why wouldn't you? I mean, think about it. I just totally kicked your ass with almost no effort. And since I'm just one of her subordinates, you being weaker than me clearly means that you're weaker than her too," I said. It was a bit of an illogical fib. I was stronger than my fiancée. But he didn't need to know that. "Feel free to keep calling yourself the next hero or whatever. I don't really care how you feel about any of that shit. This whole apology thing is just 'cause I think that you probably owe it to her after saying all that bullshit about her being too weak, despite being way weaker than her."
"I guess you do have a point…" he groaned.
"Looks like we've come to an understanding then," I said. "I'mma grab her. Make sure you keep your word." I turned towards the bleachers and shouted loudly enough for my voice to echo throughout the stadium. "Hey, Nell! Get down here for a sec!"
The bob-haired brunette tilted her head in confusion and pointed to herself inquisitively, so I nodded and used my hand to gesture that I wanted her to head over.
"It seems like he needs me for something, so I'll be right back," she excused herself from the conversation she was having with Ronia and the princess and quickly jogged towards me. "What is it?"
"Well, you see, it turns out Manny over here has a little something to say to you."
The verbal prodding seemed to have done the trick, as Mr. Fancypants ultimately decided to speak.
"I-I'm very sorry, Lady Nell." He was so reluctant and embarrassed, that he chose to keep his face in the dirt over looking at her. "I must admit that, given my inability to defeat your subordinate, it was wrong of me to think that I was in a position where my opinions about your qualifications were justified. Please forgive me."
It took a few seconds for Nell to deduce that this whole scenario was my handiwork, but the brief moment she'd spent in visible confusion was long enough to prompt Mr. Fancypants to hesitantly raise his eyes to gauge her reaction.
"Oh, well, uhm… I don't really think losing to Wye here is really anything to be all that upset about. He's too strong for his own good," she said with a wry smile. "But you know what? I think you did have a point. I'm still not as strong as I should be. So uhm… how about we put this whole incident behind us so we can both keep doing our best to get as strong as we can? For Allysia's sake."
She smiled as she extended a hand towards him.
Mr. Fancypants was shocked. The harsh, demeaning scolding he had been expecting was nowhere to be found. And in its place was a gentle warmth.
Slowly, he reached towards her and took her hand.
"W-Will you marr—"
"Finish that sentence, and you're fucking dead," I growled.
"S-sorry, nevermind!" he stammered as a spell of cold sweat assaulted him."Y-you're absolutely right, m-milady. L-l-let's both do our best! F-for Allysia!"
***
(APRIL FOOL'S PRANK) TL Note: As Cardboard Translations is not an essential service, we will be temporarily shutting down for the duration of the government lockdown in response to the COVID-19 pandemic. There will be no more updates until the lockdown ends in May. We hope to be back up and running by early June at the latest. Thank you for your understanding. This announcement has also been echoed in chapter 141, which has been uploaded at the same time as this post.