Editor(s): Speedphoenix, Joker
I was situated on the throne with my feet kicked up and my arms behind my head. I had just returned from hunting. The raid I'd conducted with Lefi had addressed my immediate financial concerns, but I still didn't have quite enough DP for me to feel at ease, so I'd turned the blood sport into one of my day to day chores. And now that I was done, I could finally kick back.
My mind began to drift off as I relaxed, as it often did once I got home. I was looking forward to dinner. I knew that the girls would live up to my expectations and deliver something far beyond just edible.
The moment I started fantasizing about all the good eats I was sure soon to enjoy was the moment I felt someone lightly tap me on the shoulder.
"Hey, Yuki?" It was the hero.
"Whaddya want?" I grunted as I sat back up.
"I want to go back to the kingdom for a bit," she said. "I know we already went once to send that letter, but I still think I should probably head back to the capital and speak to everyone in person."
"Huh…" I took a moment to consider the amount of time she'd spent amongst the dungeon's residents. "Oh wow, I almost didn't realize you've already been here for over a month."
And here I was thinking that I'd only just tempted this young, impressionable hero over to the dark side.
There was a fairly strong argument to be made for the point Nell had brought up. The two of us had indeed visited the city with the old, rapidly balding governor in order to send a letter and tell everyone that Nell was still alive and kicking. But that, in and of itself, wasn't anywhere near good enough to confirm that she was really doing as well as she said she was.
I saw no issue with letting her visit. But that didn't mean I was going to let her go. She was mine now. I had no intention of handing her over to the kingdom even if they insisted that she stay. I knew that some of its brass probably would. Because heroes were more than just the gamified protagonists I thought of them as. They were weapons. And they were handled appropriately. Most treated them more like nukes than people.
On Earth, the term "one man army" was an exaggeration, an impossible fabrication invented only to glorify the skilled and lucky. But here, it was a reality. Nell was quite literally capable of turning the tides of war simply by charging in headfirst. She was more valuable than even the most renowned officers; I suspected that they were probably going to put together a squad to look for her soon if they hadn't already. And it's probably time for me to clear a few things up as well. I can't just play the part of the indecisive protagonist forever now, can I?
"Yeah, I guess it's about time," I said. "In that case, what do you say we head out tomorrow?"
"Oh, uhm… Sorry if I made it seem like I was trying to get you to come with me. You don't really have to if you don't want to," she said.
"Don't sweat it," I said with a shrug. "I was planning on tagging along anyway. I figure I probably need to be there anyway in order to tie up a few loose ends. I was kind of planning on keeping you, but I know it's more complicated than just straight up saying you're mine now or whatever since you're a hero and whatnot, so I was going to go talk to some of the people you normally associate and sort out their concerns."
"D-does that mean we're going on a trip together?" She stammered in a happy but embarrassed tone.
"Yes, Captain Obvious. It does," I said with a grin.
"I can't wait." She smiled at me, but twisted her lips into a frown as she seemed to recall something. "But let's not take the Rir Express this time. "
"What? Why not? I like taking the Rir Express," I grumbled.
"Because we're not in a rush. And I don't," she stated.
Aw, man… And here I was looking forward to riding like the wind.
***
And so, the next day went exactly as planned. We bid the dungeon's other residents our farewells, hopped on Rir, and went for a slow, leisurely ride through the forest, one on which we found ourselves accompanied by the fearsome foursome. Rir was having them help make our trip more relaxing. He barked the occasional order at them and had them exterminate anything brave enough to approach our convoy.
The snake, the crow, the cat, and the spirit had all grown considerably. They'd leveled all the way from 1 to 83, 72, 79, and 71 respectively. Generally speaking, they were all growing at the same rate, and their stats generally fell in the same range, with each individual having different strengths and weaknesses based on the particulars of their kit. As the party's primary damage dealer, Orochi was always in the thick of the fight. And as such, his level had naturally ended up a bit higher than everyone else's.
I had high hopes for all four of my newest summons. It looked like they were going to keep hunting, growing, and making my life easier as they matured. Best retirement plan ever.
"Rir sure is soft and fluffy." The girl situated in front of me offered the wolf a few pats on the head as she hummed.
"Of course he is," I replied. "He's the fluffiest thing that this world has to offer."
"If you say so." Nell giggled as she turned away from me and looked in the direction in which our destination supposedly lay.
As I watched her, I had a sudden thought. Nell's duty had turned her into a tomboy, but she was undoubtedly still the closest thing the dungeon had to an individual who embodied the concept of a maiden. As someone who had undergone a strict, religious education, all of Nell's actions seemed to carry a hint of grace to them. She had started to slip a bit as of late as a result of our influence, but at the core, she remained relatively elegant regardless. Moreover, she was one of the most bashful individuals around, and definitely had the girliest interests of all of my family's members.
"Oh yeah, I know this is a bit of a random side note, but there's something I've been meaning to ask you." Thinking about the way she carried herself prompted me to ask her a question. "I know they taught you how to fight and shit, but did they teach you manners and stuff too? Or was that not a part of the standard hero curriculum?"
"It was," she laughed, dryly. "I know I don't make heroes seem all that important, but we are. We have to meet with kings and other high ranking nobles all the time, so one of the first things we're taught is how we're supposed to behave in high society."
"Ew. Honestly, all that sounds like to me is a huge pain in the ass."
"That's exactly what it was." Her eyes glazed as they directed themselves towards the past. "Thinking back, that was probably the toughest part of my training. Much tougher than learning how to use a sword. Do you know how many different ways there are to bow? And all the different situations they're used in?" Her words were heavy, laden with layers upon layers of suffering and despair. "Because I do. I memorized each and every single one. I memorized how I was supposed to bow, how I was supposed to walk, and how I was supposed to eat. I memorized all of it. All of it…"
"Right…"
"I wonder how all my friends are doing…" After a brief moment of silence, the short-haired brunette snapped out of her trance and quickly changed the topic. "Or if the letters we sent ever ended up reaching their destinations."
"Probably. It's been a good while since we sent them." I chuckled nervously as I entertained the thought.
Like the hero, I too had written a letter, specifically one addressed to the Allysian princess. It had been bundled alongside the letter that Nell had used to tell her superiors that she was still safe, so I had few doubts as to whether it had reached its destination. The letter's contents had been fairly bland and generic. When writing to me, the princess had mentioned that she wished to see me even if it meant running away from home, so I'd tried my best to pacify any potentially problematic behaviour by telling her to think more of her father's feelings on the matter. Yeah, Iunno about you, but I'm worried for her. Hopefully she doesn't get too crazy. And hopefully visiting the capital will be enough to keep her sated and pacified for the time being. Hopefully.
"Oh, come on Yuki." The less than thrilled tone I spoke with led Nell to frown at me. "It's your fault the princess is so attached to you," she said in a scolding tone. "You really need to stop saving every girl you come across if you want them to stop falling for you."
"It's not my fault it keeps happening," I groaned.
"Yes it is. Why else do you think Lefi keeps saying that you're just going around seducing every girl you come across?"
"Yeah, like I said. Not my fault."
"Mhmm…" She smiled teasingly. Nell wasn't all that used to smug grins, so the expression she wore looked much more like a genuine smile than it did anything else.
"What was that supposed to mean?"
"It was supposed to mean that it's totally your fault that every single girl you save ends up falling in love with you."
Only after speaking did she finally stop to think about her words. There was an awkward moment of silence. Her face slowly reddened as she lowered her gaze in order to hide her embarrassment.
"You know, Nell, if there's one thing you're really good at, it's blurting out random embarrassing comments." It wasn't the first, nor even the second time the hero had voiced such a line before considering its implications.
"…I didn't realize it was going to be that embarrassing until I said it," she mumbled. "And now I'm starting to blush. This is all your fault. I never would have said anything like that if you weren't rubbing off on me so much."
"What do you mean, my fault? Since when have I ever said anything that embarrassing?"
"You do it all the time! I can't even count the number of times you've made me turn red as a tomato anymore," she said. "But uhm… that's one of the things that I really love about you."
"…I see. Uhh… Thanks, I guess…"
"…Mhm."
"…"
"…"
Well… This is awkward.
"Looks like the city's coming up on the horizon." I pointed at Alfyro the moment I spotted it. While the Rir Express would have allowed us to reach the city in about two hours, the Rir Not-So-Express had caused the trip to take a whole six— not that that was a bad thing. Our business wasn't anywhere near urgent enough to warrant a mad dash for the capital, and the leisurely, uneventful journey had served as an opportunity for us to kick back and relax.
Alfyro was smack in the middle of nowhere. The Wicked Forest, an area that few wished to explore, was the only major landmark in its vicinity. And yet, it was bustling with life. There was even a queue outside its gates. So many people wished to enter it that the line never seemed to fade even with it moving at a fairly rapid pace.
After finding ourselves a nice, bushy patch of trees to keep us out of sight, we dismounted. I jumped off Rir and offered Nell a hand. This was our stop. I wasn't planning on riding the legendary wolf all the way to the capital. There was no reason to risk blowing our cover. I wasn't in a rush to stop some sort of sinister plot. Nor did I need to put down a douchey prince. It was the perfect chance to act as a human would and laze around and enjoy the scenery atop an old horse-drawn wagon as it bumped its way down an unpaved dirt road.
"Thanks Rir." I ruffled my pet's fur. "Don't worry about waiting around for us. I've got no clue how long we're going to be gone this time," I said. "We've got other ways to get back home anyway."
I was, of course, talking about the wonderful necklace-like device capable of teleporting me straight to my core. I was planning on making liberal use of it and warping us back once we were done with our business.
"Make sure you keep everyone safe while I'm out," I said. "But don't push yourself too hard. Make sure you bug Lefi if you ever end up finding yourself in a rough spot. She should be able to bail you out of just about anything." After fluffing up the fur on his head one last time, I took a step back and looked at both him and the four lined up behind him. "Thanks Rir. And you guys too."
All five monsters made a cry of acknowledgement and bowed their heads.
I knew that they would continue to serve me well, so I nodded, turned towards the city, and set out for its front gate with Nell in tow.
***
The line moved as smooth as silk. The soldiers responsible for screening the city's visitors rarely stopped much in the way of anyone. And when they did, it was quick. They would look through their paperwork, ask a question or two, and allow them to enter.
At least until it was our turn.
"Good morning, and welcome to Alfyr—wait a second. I've seen you before." One of the guards, an older man, stopped us before we stepped through the gates. His brow was raised in suspicious recognition; he had clearly made me.
Hmm… He does look kinda familiar.
…
"Wait, were you the same angry old guy I ran into last time I had to go through this gate?"
"I am. And I see you've yet to learn any manners," he crossed his arms and huffed in mock indignance before breaking into a friendly smile. "It's been a few months since I've seen you around. How's life been treating you?"
"Same as usual." I shrugged. "Man, how the hell did you instantly make me? I didn't even realize I knew you 'till you made it obvious that you knew me."
"My memory's one of my strengths. It's why they've got me assigned to the gate," he laughed, heartily.
I opened my mouth to call him on his bluff, but stopped midway and settled for laughing along instead. He wasn't kidding, nor even bragging. He wouldn't have been able to recognize me if he wasn't telling the truth. Wow. I'm actually pretty impressed.
"I see you've got Ms. Holy Knight with you again today. Where's the other girl? I could've sworn that there was a brat with silver hair with you last time, one that was every bit as rude as you were."
Alright, I was impressed before, but now he's got me blown outta the water. Shit dude, he's 3 for 3. He even remembers Lefi. And she's not even here.
"Damn, man, you really do have a good memory," I remarked. "She didn't come with us 'cause she doesn't really have any business in town today. Right, Ms. Holy Knight?" I turned to Nell in order to have her reaffirm the statement.
"Huh? Oh, uhm, yeah." She nodded, half-panicked, before talking to herself under her breath, "I almost forgot I was supposed to be with the church. And that I was a knight… I didn't even realize they were talking about me."
I feel like I miiiight've just heard something I wasn't supposed to. But you know what, whatever. I'mma just ignore it and move on.
"So, gonna let us through?" I turned back towards the old gatekeeper. "I've even actually got papers this time." I flashed the card I obtained from the Adventurers' Guild.
"Oh, well would you look at that, you can learn!" He chuckled. "Well, if you've got papers, then I guess I don't really have much of a choice. Go on through and enjoy your stay." He didn't bother giving the card any more than a glance before using a hand to gesture at the gate behind him.
"Will do. See ya."
With the guard out of our way, I had assumed that we were going to be able to go about our business without any further interruptions. I was wrong. A second dose of trouble greeted us the second we stepped into town.
I noticed an odd, clanking sound. Turning my gaze on the source of the metallic grinding once again led me to lay eyes on a soldier with a familiar face. Like the first, he was old. But one could tell at a glance he was much more seasoned. Though I didn't remember his name, I had immediately recognized him as one of the commanders that had led the Wicked Forest's invasion, and the only one to have lived.
For a moment, he stared at us in shock. He had frozen in place with one foot out the door; half of him was still stuck inside the gate-side guard station.
"W-what are you two doing here!?" He broke into a run and dashed right at us as he recovered. For some reason beyond my comprehension, the look on his face almost seemed frantic in nature.
Huh. Weird.
"Long time no see, old dude number two," I said with a casual wave.
"I wasn't aware that you were so well associated with Lady Nell, Dem—sir."
"Yeah, well I am. What's up?"
"…I know that you likely have plans already." He took a deep breath. "But please allow me to interrupt them and escort you to the governor's manor. It's of utmost importance that you see him immediately."
"Has something happened?"
The hero's question led the man to grimace.
"The capital's descended into a state of chaos. It's even worse now than it was when you set off for the demon realm," he groaned. "And to make matters worse, even you've become a topic of much debate."
"I have?" Nell blinked a few times in surprise.
"You have," he nodded, gravely. "And not for any reason you might enjoy. I can't explain it nearly as well as the governor. You might as well hear it from him instead. Would you mind?"
"I don't, but do you?" She turned to me.
"Why would I?" I shrugged. "If it's your business, then we're probably going to have to end up addressing it eventually anyway, so might as well."
"Thanks Yuki. Then uhm, Mister… Roston, was it? Please lead the way."
"Right away, ma'am. And thank you very much for complying."
And that was how I ended up visiting Alfyro's governor a third time.
***
"Nell!? And the Demon Lord!? What are the two of you doing here!?" The first thing the governor did as we entered his office was react the same way as his subordinate.
The man, whose name I vaguely recalled to be Raylow, was buried in paperwork. Literally. His desk had so many sheets stacked on top of it that I could barely see him. The few glimpses I did catch informed me that he was even more tired than he was the last time I saw him. His hairline had receded far too significantly for comfort, and his eyebags were so prominent I began suspecting that he was part panda. Though he held the resources to live a life of luxury, he was clearly just as, if not even more tired than some of Japan's most exhausted corporate slaves. Just looking at him was enough to make me cringe in a mix of discomfort and pity.
"Hey man, I uhh… know you've probably been a bit too busy to take care of yourself lately, so here. Take this." I grabbed one of the usual potions from my inventory and handed it to him.
"And what would this be?" He accepted the gift, albeit with a look of suspicion.
"It's basically just a vitamin supplement. It'll probably make you feel a good bit better, so make sure you down it if you ever feel the urge to collapse."
I suspected that the potion was going to end up being a little bit more effective than he was expecting it to be. I could already see him literally bursting with vigour the moment it flooded his system with its highly potent mana. But if anything, that's a good thing. He kinda needs it.
"Thank you." He said, tiredly. "I suppose the many sleepless nights I've enjoyed over the course of the last month have finally caught up with me." A self-mocking smile appeared on his face. "I never would have expected to appear so exhausted that even you would be willing to take steps to better my health, Demon Lord." His smile faded as quickly as it'd come and found itself replaced by a frown. "Now, I understand why Miss Hero over there happens to be present, but why have you come? Is it more business?"
"Nah. I'm just here because she is."
"I don't quite seem to follow."
"Oh. Right, I forgot to explain. We're getting hitched."
"Excuse me?" He raised a brow as he leant forward as if to better hear my voice. "The two of you… are doing what…?"
"Getting hitched, married, whatever you want to call it," I said in a matter-of-fact tone. "I'm sure you can already see the problem, with her being a hero and whatnot." I shrugged. "Anyway, she was planning to see her superiors and shit in order to figure some stuff out, so I figured that I might as well tag along so I can claim her and then get any of the trouble that comes out of it sorted out."
Raylow covered his face with one of his hands. He used his thumb to massage one temple, and his middle finger to do the same to the other.
"A demon lord is wedding a hero? I… don't understand. Are you serious?" Upon lowering his hand, he turned to Nell for confirmation.
"M-mhm…" Her cheeks flushed as she bashfully nodded.
The action was both incredibly cute and entirely natural. Oh Nell, you cunning little vixen, you. Stop trying to win my heart over. I mean, I'm not going to say I won't forgive you. You're far too cute for me to really want to hold a grudge. But still. Knock it off, you sly fox, you.
"…" After taking a moment to process her response, Raylow sighed. "I have a whole plethora to say with regards to the sheer absurdity of this situation, but I'm going to be refraining from commenting for the sake of my own sanity." Again, Raylow sighed. "I heard nothing and your relationship is absolutely not any of my business. Do as you wish."
"That was the plan," I said with a smirk.
"Though, I suppose that this means the topic I wanted to discuss with her very well may now involve you as well." Raylow didn't even bother verbally acknowledging the snarky comment. He simply ignored it and moved on. "Why don't we get down to business?"
"Were you planning to speak to me about everything that happened while I was away?" asked Nell, timidly.
"I was." After taking a moment to breathe, the old governor began to describe the current state of the Allysian Kingdom.
***
The wooden, horse-drawn carriage rattled as it slowly made its way down a well-trodden dirt path. Upon sticking my head out the window, I found us surrounded by a seemingly endless field of green. Untamed, waist high grass extended as far as the eye could see in every which way. Wave-like patterns spread through the emerald sea as it fluttered to and fro in the wind. It was, in all fairness, a beautiful sight. One I couldn't enjoy. There had been nothing but green for hours, and I was sick of it. We were the only thing that stood out from the backdrop. The armed men surrounding our wagon, visible from a mile away, were second in conspicuity only to the vehicles they guarded. Distinct as they were, the men were effectively the same as the environment. They offered nothing of interest to gaze upon. The same went for the carriage in the front of us, the only other member of our convoy. It was too bland to entertain me.
With a sigh, I repositioned myself back inside the coach and looked at the girl I shared it with. Her usual energy was nowhere to be seen. Brooding had led the light that normally filled her eyes to be replaced by a dark melancholy, one only emphasized by the rigid frown that accompanied her furrowed brows. The way she lifelessly leaned against the side of the carriage with her face propped up by a wrist was so depressing it was lovely. I know this is really inappropriate, but I really wish I could snap a few pictures of her right about now. This'd definitely be one for a museum or archive somewhere.
Calling the situation at hand complicated was practically an understatement. Both she and the kingdom were involved in far more turmoil than was necessary by any means. And it had all stemmed from the "prince's" revolt, the conflict that I had joined and at least in part resolved. My intervention had brought the armed revolution to a close. The prince's supporters had been purged en masse. They were captured, convicted of high treason, and sentenced to the guillotine. Their heads quite literally flew by the dozen. And that was precisely why the kingdom's political climate had failed to recover.
Removing the prince's allies had left as many empty government positions as it had headless carcasses. Allysia naturally compensated for its loss by finding new government officials. But most of its new hires were still green. Their lack of experience prevented them from getting much done. In the end, it had fallen to the king to take up the mantle. He had single-handedly shredded mountains upon mountains of administrative work and saved his kingdom from collapse. But there was only so much that one man could do. He had no choice to split his focus between internal affairs and foreign relations in the case that other sovereign entities chose to interfere in his business. It was a well-made choice. Because interfere they did.
As a major human power, Allysia had no shortage of enemies. Countries both near and far stuck their noses in its business. They attacked the kingdom both directly and indirectly. The direct attacks took the form of skirmishes. Small armed forces stemming from foreign nations would alternate between executing non-committal attacks and conducting military exercises along the border in order to force Allysia's already strained executives to pay them heed. And that was on top of harassing Allysian traders and causing a whole plethora of other minor issues that begged the brass' attention. The king and his men were able to leverage their nation's extensive might to quell every issue that arose. But that wasn't to say that the kingdom was unaffected.
With that said, the most significant foreign power-centric problems stemmed not from any blatant military or economic action, but rather, espionage. Foreign surveillance agents were only made more effective by the kingdom's restaffing efforts. Its new hires were leaking as much information as they were made privy to. Some were bad actors. They willingly traded treason for treasure. Others were simply less than competent. They were far too green to keep secrets and often allowed themselves to divulge details pertaining to their work.
Raylow, the man whose carriage made up the other half of our caravan, had only lost as much sleep as he had due to the frequency with which he needed to travel between the capital and his home. He was, in effect, running around as frantically as a headless chicken in order to get everything under control. There were an endless number of things for him to do in spite of the sudden drop in the number of political rivals he had to face.
The king's faction wasn't the only group involved in the country's restoration. As a major contributor to the monarch's salvation, the church had also taken it upon itself to calm the masses and bring order to the kingdom. That was simply its natural duty—any religious organization's natural duty.
People were known to flock to faith in times of hardship. High crime rates and low standards of living were two of religion's most powerful proponents. Hope was what allowed the people to surmount the grief that inevitably came with a medieval understanding of the medical sciences. There was death around every corner. Famines were commonplace. Many diseases, wounds, and infections remained effectively untreatable. That was why. That was why believing that there was something beyond their morbid, bland lives allowed them to carry on. The promise of relief, the trust that a greater authority would one day bring them salvation, be it in this life or the next, was one of the few things that prevented the populace from succumbing to despair.
For Allysia's people—and all of humanity—that greater authority was the church. And the hero that served as its symbol. Nell.
They worshipped her. They were indoctrinated in their early childhoods and conditioned to believe that she was their saviour, the shepherd that would guide them into the light. The fact that she lived in Allysia had only made the people even more reliant on her presence. To them, she was equivalent to their peace of mind.
That was why many saw her untimely expedition to the demon realm as a sign, as evidence that the kingdom's sole guardian was failing to do her duty. They failed to comprehend that parading around the country was by no means necessarily the hero's best course of action.
It wasn't entirely their fault. Most of the country's population remained uneducated. And few were capable of truly understanding a concept as abstract as a long term investment. The church's silence didn't help, but they had no choice. The expedition was a top-secret mission that could be compromised by the tiniest of leaks. As straight lies were unsustainable, they had chosen to describe her as being locked in the midst of battle for the sake of their God and his people. It was an excellent decision, one that could—and would—have quelled all but a few unsettled souls.
But then, Nell vanished. In more than just the eyes of the citizens. The month she'd spent in the dungeon was one in which she stayed off the radar. The one and only letter she'd sent failed to suffice as a report. It described that she was safe, but failed to explain where she had gone or why. As there had been no follow up reports, it was impossible for management to discern whether the first had been forged, written under coercion, or otherwise untruthful. To her coworkers, superiors, and other associates, she was effectively missing in action. And that unsettled them. Significantly. It was like the country's one and only nuke had suddenly upped and vanished.
Under normal circumstances, it wouldn't be all that strange for her to lose contact. Unlike a nuke, she didn't sit in a silo all day. She had a job, and a dangerous one at that. Staying in touch was a luxury she often couldn't afford. That was why all would have been fine had the precise circumstances not been what they were.
The source of all Nell's misfortune was a government employee, a still incompetent new hire that had accidentally revealed that contact with her had been lost, and that her whereabouts remained unknown. Providing this knowledge to the public had led chaos to breed. It came to be known that this was not the first, but the second time that the hero had suddenly vanished without a word.
Allysia's people soon began calling her abilities to question. And frankly, though their allegations were false, they were, in a way, justified. Unlike me, the average Joe wasn't privy to the fact that Nell had far more potential than every other human on the planet. They weren't able to see her numbers, let alone the rate at which they had grown. But even if they could, little, if anything, would change. Because numbers meant nothing to them. They didn't understand what values were supposed to be. Nor would they have the cognitive ability to grasp the intricacies and implications of existing at one of the normal distribution's furthest ends. In the general public's eyes, Nell was only worth as much as the achievements she had yet to accrue. Some had even started a movement that called for her to be removed from her post and replaced.
Ultimately speaking, the situation at hand was more or less my fault. It was all because of the fact that I'd chosen to keep her locked up in the dungeon for too long. Twice.
What does that mean to me? I raised my eyes to meet hers as I evaluated my thoughts on the matter. I only went with this stupid ass harem idea at first because Lefi was basically making me. But you know, what? Nell's grown on me. A lot.
I was confident in saying that I had no intention of letting her slip out of my grasp. I wanted her to keep living with us. And I was very tempted to simply have my way and be done with it. But I knew that things were a little too complicated for me to simply make a declaration and call it a day. Nell had deep connections with the humans. And her connections left her with a heavy burden she likely felt obligated to bear.
"Hey, Nell?"
"Yeah?" She slowly raised her head and looked at me.
I didn't actually have my thoughts sorted enough to form them into words just yet, so I picked her up and plopped her down in my lap to buy a few moments of time. And as I did, I indulged in her warmth, in the comfort that was Nell.
"Y-Yuki!? W-what are you doing?" She reacted with a start.
"Nothing. Just appreciating how soft and warm you are."
"W-w-w-where did that come from!?"
"Touching you, duh," I laughed, then paused just long enough for the mood to turn solemn. "So? You sort your feelings out yet?"
"My feelings? You mean about being a hero?"
"More or less, yeah."
I was met with silence as she pursed her lips in indecisive lament.
"You see, Nell. I—we—already think of you as one of us. Everyone in the dungeon loves you, and we'd like you to stay. But we know that you've still got your duties. You're a hero. Unlike us, you can't just laze around in a castle all day. You've got things to do."
"…Mhm."
"Why did you end up choosing to go through with this whole hero thing anyway?"
She spent a few moments hesitating. Her mouth opened and closed, and opened and closed.
"I… I wanted to help." She eventually managed to squeeze the words out, slowly, painfully. "I wanted to help the people. And my mom. She raised me all by herself. Her life was hard. I wanted to make it easier."
"I see…"
"Being a real hero is all I used to want. But not anymore. Now, I want to be with you more than I want to be a hero. And I hate myself for it. I hate myself for being so indecisive. But I'd hate myself even more if I were to just give up and abandon my duty." Her voice started to crack as she choked back her tears. "Why do I have to be so half-baked? I can't ever do anything right. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm supposed to fix, or how." The dam holding back her emotions broke. Soggy, sad droplets burst from the cracks and flowed down her cheeks. "I don't know what to do with myself anymore…"
The hero, the woman, buried her face into my shoulders and wept. I knew that nothing I said would truly make her woes go away, so I simply ran my fingers through her hair over and over as she continued to cry.