Editors: Sebas Tian, Speedphoenix
Unlike the rest of the city, which was bustling with noise, the castle's interior was deathly silent. It was decorated with all sorts of furniture, but the lack of sound made the long corridor Haloria guided me through almost seem lonely in nature. The still atmosphere stemmed in part from the fact that the castle was almost empty. There were so few people around that I couldn't help but get the impression that there were barely any in its service to begin with.
The only other individuals anywhere in our vicinity were the hooded agent's colleagues—or at least that was what I assumed they were. There were two of them, and they were both quite good at the whole stealth thing; both stayed concealed as they tailed us through the palace. That said, my magic eye allowed me to see them clear as day despite their best efforts. The sight of them making themselves out to be hidden despite obviously being right behind us was almost funny, in a surreal kinda way.
Another factor that contributed heavily to the complete and utter lack of noise was the fact that, guides and "hidden" escorts aside, I had come alone. Enne had literally fallen asleep on my lap while we were riding the oversized capybara. It was an adorable sight, but I knew that it meant the long trip had left her exhausted. I suspected that Leila was probably just as tired, so I had the two of them go on ahead. Specifically, I sent them to the room the demon king was lending us in order to let them get a head start on some much-needed rest. I wasn't about to make them sit through a potentially lengthy audience, especially since I was the only one that the lord of the demon realm had asked for to begin with.
Not having Enne with me meant not having my main weapon, but I wasn't completely unarmed. I had both my gun and my dagger mounted on the back of my waist, and I could always open up my inventory and grab something else even if push came to shove. Still though, I know I said this already, but man, bringing Enne along was a really good idea. I totally would've been screwed without her. Literally. And I'm not exactly all that keen on getting my shit kicked in by Lefi the moment I get home. No thank you.
Of course, I didn't ever intend on letting myself get seduced by anyone but the woman I loved. I knew that, even if looks were to be completely put to the side, there was no better girl for me than her. Not in this life, nor my last. I had simply never met anyone else that was just so… perfect.
"We're here."
Haloria finally broke the silence as we reached a massive set of doors. One would normally expect the audience chamber to come equipped with at least one pair of guards, but there wasn't a soldier anywhere in sight. In their places stood two gargoyle-shaped golems. The magic-infused statues seemed to do the job quite well, as they both craned their necks towards us the moment we arrived before the door. They focused momentarily on Haloria as if to confirm her identity before returning to their original positions and ceasing all further action.
Unlike me, the hooded agent seemed to be used to the sight, as she didn't even bother giving them a glance before fiddling with something and opening the giant-sized entrance. The doorway slowly opened up to reveal an expansive throne room decorated in naught but red and black. Both the left and right sides were lined with demonic statues, ones that looked like they could spring to life and attack me at any given moment. In fact, dealing with intruders seemed to be exactly what they were meant to do, as, like the golems, they seemed to be enchanted with some sort of spell. Oh, maybe this place is only as empty as it is because everything's just automated or something. They probably just have a bunch of golems guarding everything important.
A red carpet ran right through the centre and led all the way to the throne situated at the back of the room. And upon said throne sat a cheerful-looking young man with a head of blonde hair.
"Hey there," he said with a smile. "You must be Yuki. I'm Phynar, Lord of the Demon Realm. It's nice to finally meet you."
***
General Information
Name: Phynar Leginerris Satalunia
Race: Weissel Demon King
Class: King of the Demon Realm
Level: 29
HP: 71?/71?
MP: 24?5/24?5
Strength: 301
Vitality: 3?0
Agility: 297
Magic: 5??
Dexterity: 454
Luck: 2?1
Unique Skills
Eye of Foresight
Eye of Observation
Thought Acceleration
Skills
Parallel Thought VIII
Future Sight ?
Command Mastery ?
Titles
Divine Emissary
Tactical Genius
Gifted Trickster
Devious Schemer
***
I was expecting him to be rather powerful given his title, but it turned out that he was actually pretty weak. He was wearing a magically enchanted item that made it hard for me to see exact values, but even with the text garbled as it was, I could still get a pretty good grasp of his power level. According to the numbers, he was stronger than most humans but weaker than most demons.
I was fairly certain that even Enne could defeat him with ease. Though that's probably not really saying all that much since she can easily butcher a fair number of the Wicked Forest's monsters like it's nobody's business.
Another contributor to his lack of combat prowess was the fact that the demon king didn't actually have all that many skills that would assist him in combat. His skillset was instead geared towards honing his mind. He was, as his titles described, a tactician. Phynar's character sheet seemed to indicate that he was the type of guy that you would find in the commander's tent rather than on the battlefield, which explained why the other demons hadn't taken so kindly to his rule. That Devious Schemer title though. Yeah uhhh, I probably shouldn't trust him too much. Especially since he's handsome. Yeah, no, screw that. He's definitely a fucking snake.
"My King, I have returned," said Haloria.
"Thank you very much for seeing your mission through, Haloria. You've been an excellent asset."
"I am undeserving of words so kind."
I casually glanced at the agent, who had taken a knee, before turning back to the man on the throne.
"So, I guess you're the guy that wanted to talk to me?"
"That's right! Thank you so much for coming all this way just to see me! You have no idea how happy I am right now." Again, the king spoke in a disgustingly cheery tone. If he were typing, then he most likely would have put a colon and a parenthesis at the end of every sentence.
Eugh… The thought immediately led me to grimace. The demon king was smiling at me in a way that I would have appreciated had he been a woman. But because he was a man, the only thing I felt was disgust. That's just gross. Please stop.
"I'm sure your long journey has left you quite exhausted, so let's get down to business right away," he said. "The reason I wish to speak with you is because I hope to make use of your power, especially after hearing that you were even able to slay a dragon."
Huh. Didn't expect them to have figured that much out.
"Give it to me straight. What do you know?"
"Not that much, my dear friend," said the demon king with another creepy smile. "All my men have told me is that the fiend faction came up with some sort of scheme in order to ally themselves with the dragons. Unfortunately, it didn't quite seem to go as planned. The Dragonlord, who slew his predecessor in order to claim the title, ignored their plans and flew off somewhere all on his own. And then, he vanished, never to be seen again."
Oh yeah, the retard did mention something about having subordinates. I always assumed they were dragons, but I guess not, huh?
"My people continued to watch over the situation even after he left, but they lost track of him soon after he entered your territory," he said. "And as I'm sure you could imagine, losing track of a creature so massive is quite the difficult thing to do. Our understanding was that he was killed."
"I still don't really see why you'd think it was me," I said. "Wouldn't it make more sense to assume that the Supreme Dragon did it?"
"That's certainly a possibility," nodded the king. "But you see, my friend, one of my subordinates is quite the proficient analyst. He's spent a lot of time raising the skill's level, and it's reached a point where it's become quite the reliable asset. I had him take a look at you and report his findings."
"And what did he see?"
"Nothing. His face turned pale and he told me that he couldn't see anything at all, and that's why we thought that you might have been responsible for the Dragonlord's defeat," said the king. "We have no idea whether you were always that strong, or if you had only grown as strong as you are now after defeating him, but the fact remains that you're so powerful we can't even tell just how strong you really are."
I see… So basically what they're telling me is that they think I'm strong because they can't really see my stats. Makes sense. Analyze is pretty level dependent. And based on all the people I've seen around the castle so far, I'd say the guy using it probably needs at least level eight if he wants to even begin to see any sort of useful information.
"It doesn't matter whether or not you defeated the Dragonlord," said the king. "We still know that you are incredibly strong, and as such, we would like to make an ally of you regardless."
"Alright, I get that," I said. "But do you really even need me? It seems like you've got a good enough head on your shoulders to crush your enemies even without me."
"So you do have Analyze after all! I thought as much," said the king. "Let me just say this before you get any funny ideas about me, mkay? I know I've got the title, but I'm not really much of a schemer at all, let alone a devious one."
The king shook his head before continuing.
"All I've ever done is just pull a few strings behind the scenes in order to avoid an unwinnable, head-on confrontation. And that's it! I really don't know where this terrible sounding title came from. It makes me look like such a bad person. Even though I'm really not."
His "justification" left me completely speechless. Yeah uhh… all I'm hearing is that you totally deserve it.
"But let's leave that aside for now and get back on track," he said. "To answer your question, yes, I am good at coming up with all sorts of different strategies. Yes, I've made my enemies walk into traps, and yes, I've made them turn on and kill each other so I don't have to. I've done plenty of other things too. But no matter what I do, I can't win an all-out war."
Phynar flashed a bit of a troubled smile.
"The problem is that there are more of them then there are us. And each of them is stronger than each of us too. My strategies will allow me to kill a great number of them, but not all in one fell swoop. It'll be a long, drawn-out battle, and they'll just keep pushing through everything with numbers and brute force," he said. "And if that happens, we'll both lose. Demonkind will lose. Victory will go to the humans. Fighting a civil war is no different from exposing our backs to them."
"I see…"
The king's logic was solid. It didn't really matter which of the two factions came out on top if they were forced to fight a long, gruelling war. The country would lose out either way. Humans could come barging in during or after their conflict and mop up the exhausted demons before they had a chance to recoup. And if they did it well, the humans would be able to wipe the demon realm off the face of the map altogether.
As far as the demon king was concerned, the moment an all-out war began was the moment he would lose his chance at victory.
"Fiends and those like them like to believe in strength above all else. I'm weak, so they refuse to listen to me no matter how logical my arguments appear to be. And to make matters worse, they look down on humans and think that they'll be able to fight them off with ease," he said. "Most of the smarter demons have chosen to work alongside me, but demons, in general, tend to be on the dumber side, so I still have many more enemies than I do allies."
"I see."
Well, that's what you get when you trade your brain in just to get more ripped. That said, I personally had yet to meet any muscle-brained demons myself. The only ones I knew were Leila, Agent McHoodface, Rouinne the MILF, and the king. Almost makes me wish I could run into a meathead or two. Just to see what it's like.
"That's why I've been working to make sure an all-out war doesn't happen to begin with," said Phynar.
"I get that. But what do you want me to do about all this?"
"I take it that you're interested?"
"Depends. Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll tell you what I think."
"I thought you would say that," laughed the king. "You see, Yuki, my friend. I would like you to become a symbol."
"A symbol?"
"That's right!" said the demon king. "I want you to do something that none of the beastkin or demihumans I've allied myself with can. I want you to become a symbol of our strength, demonic strength. I want to be able to use you as an example and show all other demons that the strong believe in my ideals."
Oh, I see how it is.
"So… what you're really saying is that you want me as a decoy while you pull all kinds of bullshit behind the scenes?"
"Exactly! I knew you'd get it."
Holy shit! This blackhearted son of a bitch just totally straight-up admitted he wanted to use me.
"Letting the fiends learn of our new, powerful ally will make them much more wary of our actions. Having you around will make their actions easier to predict. They'll even need more time to make them. And the more time I have, the more cards I can play," said Phynar. "In other words, I need you to attract their attention in order to make it easier for me to play my hand and constrain my foes."
"Yeah, I figured it was something like that."
Publicly announcing the fact that I had become one of the demon king's allies was a surefire way to elicit the opposing faction's curiosity. They were sure to investigate my origins given that I would have more or less appeared out of nowhere, and they were sure to spend precious manpower keeping an eye on me. I didn't know much about the lord of the demon realm, but the bit I did know was enough for me to fully understand that he would be able to take advantage of the situation and throw a wrench into his foes' plans.
"Alright, I'm pretty sure I've got a good general idea of what you want. But honestly, I don't really care about this little civil war of yours." I intentionally twisted my lips into a cruel smile. "I don't care who wins. I couldn't really give half a fuck about the death toll either. Numbers are just that to me, numbers. And it should go without saying that I don't really care who dies either. I'm not about to jump into something dangerous for something I couldn't give two shits about. And I'm sure you know that already. So how about you skip the small talk and tell me how you were planning to make this worth my time?"
It was true that the fiends were my foes. But that didn't automatically make the demon king my ally. I didn't need to cooperate with him; I could easily crush the fiends even without his help. And again, that was only assuming that they really were my enemies and that I wasn't just being fed a bunch of lies.
"W-What, y—" The agent's jaw dropped in an expression of shock. She opened her mouth to voice her indignance, but she was cut off before she could.
"Haloria? Silence, please." Her boss flashed an intimidating smile and got her to shut up immediately. She even backed off a few steps in deference to his will.
"Of course I'll be willing to make it worth your time, my friend," said the demon king with his usual creepy rape smile. "I think of my allies as business partners. Cooperating is no different from starting a joint venture, and joint ventures only exist because they benefit all parties involved."
"Good," I said. "So how about you tell me a bit more about the details. What exactly have you prepared for me?"
"Well, there happen to be a few things," chuckled the king. "The first is, of course, information. We'll continue to send you updates on the enemy we share."
"Yeah, uh, that much is a given."
The only reason that I had even come to the demon realm in the first place was because I had been promised intel. Not delivering on it simply wouldn't make sense.
"The second thing I have to offer is one I think you'll be especially interested in," he said. "I've heard a lot about your family situation, and I was made privy to the fact that you would be interested in taking your wife, your daughters, and your maids along on a trip around the demon realm."
"Yeah, what of it?"
"If you help me, I'll use my authority to grant you access to more than just the demon realm. I'll speak to the demihumans and beastkin alike on your behalf and allow you to not only enter their territories but also visit areas the likes of which regular tourists would never be allowed to enter. Take areas considered sacred, for example. They would normally be off-limits, but I'm certain that a few magic words from me would be more than enough to grant you permission to enter them. And I can even get you acquainted with some of the other races' higher-ups, if you would like."
"W-w-what!?"
G-Goddamn, this motherfucker knows exactly what I want!
"I'll even throw in plenty of information about all of the demon realm's points of interest. The demon races may not all respect me, but I am still the throne's rightful heir. My predecessor appointed me to the position himself, and as such, I have the right to let you into most places. And that's not all."
The tactician's assault was masterful. He knew exactly where to hit me to make it really count.
"Keep talking. What else have you got?"
"My understanding of labyrinths is that they grow by feeding on all sorts of different things, and as a demon lord, I'm sure you would enjoy seeing your dungeon prosper," he said. "I can provide you with sustenance for your labyrinth in whatever form you'd like it in. I would prefer to avoid turning my people into sacrificial lambs if possible, but I wouldn't really mind if you insist."
"Yeah no. I'm not exactly all that keen on sacrifices either," I said. It was true that death provided the dungeon with exp points, but that kind of thing seemed a bit too evil for my taste. "How about cash instead?"
"Cash? That's a wonderful suggestion! That's a type of capital we wouldn't have any trouble working with."
"Oh, and just saying, I don't mean I want your local currency or whatever. I want things that are inherently valuable."
"Of course. What would you think of an entire room's worth of gold, silver, and other valuables?"
"Works."
"Let's see… what else was there…? Oh, right! How about women?"
"Nah. I'm good."
"Really? I heard you were quite the… connoisseur."
"Yeah, no. That's nothing but a misunderstanding."
I mean, I know I kiiiinda let myself get a bit too far off the rails, but that's just how men are. Totally wasn't my fault. Totally. Besides, accepting that is pretty much no different from offing myself on the spot. I'm not exactly all that interested in reincarnating as a butchered corpse.
Though Lefi didn't exactly fall under the canine classification, she had an exceptionally good nose. She would definitely find out if I cheated on her no matter how hard I tried to hide it.
"Well, in that case, what do you say to having the women switched out for more valuables?"
I spent a few moments silently contemplating his offer. I was more or less willing to accept it given that it didn't really inconvenience me in any which way. I was probably going to end up crushing the fiends the moment they bared their fangs anyway. The demon king's offer was more or less just a nice added bonus I got for doing it sooner rather than later. There really didn't seem to be much of a reason to decline.
Of course, there was always the chance that he would betray me. His titles told me everything I needed to know about his propensity for treachery; I knew better than to trust someone labelled as a devious schemer. But uhhh… yeah, I'm not about to go down that rabbit hole. I can already tell that trying to figure him out is going to be an endless headache and a half. You know what? Screw it. I'll just deal with whatever happens when it happens. If he ends up turning on me, then I'll just take what I'm owed by force.
Though I was more than willing to resort to violence in order to claim my dues, I wasn't exactly all that keen on making an enemy out of someone known for their tactical genius. Like figuring him out, dealing with his schemes also sounded like a rabbit hole I really did not want to bother exploring.
My final concern was that I didn't know how strong my foes really were. My stats were pretty damn high. I was pretty sure I could bulldoze most of my enemies without any real issue. But there was always the chance that one of the people I was going to end up against would be as strong as the monsters that lived in the Wicked Forest's deepest depths.
Moreover, like the Douchelord, I was still a living thing. They didn't have to confront me head-on and brute force me to death. I could still be killed through the exploitation of my inherent weaknesses. Still, even that did have a bit of a strength requirement to it. It wouldn't matter what they did if they were as weak as the bandits we encountered on our way to the capital.
You know what? I should probably make sure I check in with Leila before every fight. I'll make sure to bring her all the intel they give me so we can have a few nice, long chats about risk mitigation. Yeah, that sounds like it'd be a pretty good idea.
Oh, and speaking of good ideas, I should totally wear the clown mask I was wearing back in that human city or whatever while I'm here. Wearing it will be kinda redundant if the fiend faction has already figured out that I was Clownman the whole time, but I might be able to mess with them a good bit if they haven't. Oh, wait a second. Better idea, I'll just get a new mask. That saves me the trouble of having to figure out if they already knew. I don't have any other masks on hand, but I should be able to just make one on the fly if I find myself some mats. Weapon transmutation is preeeeeetty convenient, after all. Oh, and I should probably fake my character sheet real quick too. Alright, what should I name myself? I've already used Wye, so that's definitely off the table. Heh. This is going to be fun. Time to be the mysterious masked man messing shit up in the demon realm! I can't wait to hear the rumours. Everyone'll totally be like "It's a bird!", "It's a plane!", "Wait, who the fuck is that!?" Oh man, this'll be great.
"Oh, right." I narrowed my eyes as I looked at the demon king. "There's one thing I've been meaning to ask you. Were you responsible for all the shit that happened in Alshir?"
"Nope! Wasn't me!" Phynar spoke in a cheerful tone as he explained everything as if it were just a matter of fact. "My plans are a lot more well thought out than that. If I was responsible, then you probably never even would have realized that there was something going on in the first place."
Whew. That's some confidence right there. I couldn't help but react with a forced smile.
"Alright. That's all I wanted to know," I said. "I can't give you an answer right away since I'm probably going to need to consult my maid, but I can at least tell you that things are looking up."
"That's wonderful!" said Phynar. "The fact that you're considering it has already made inviting you well worth the effort and investment."
"Me considering it has already made this worth it? I guess that means you really did have a backup plan or two in mind, huh?"
"Of course, but your cooperation saves me quite a bit of trouble."
Yeah, I figured as much. Banking everything on a single plan sounds like a terrible idea. Especially if it's something that you're not even sure will work. No one would ever get anything done if they didn't think up contingencies.
"Then I'll be hoping for an answer tomorrow. I'll have you presented with some of the demon realm's finest delicacies tonight. Sleep tight, Yuki," giggled the king. "I'll be looking forward to working with you."
"Alright, before I go, I just gotta say one thing. Stop smiling at me like that. It's creepy as hell and gives me the fucking chills."
"Awwww. How could you be so mean? Can't you see that I'm just trying to express my affection?"
"Affection? Dude, gross! What the fuck!? Come on dude, at least leave it at friendship or something!" I said as my face twisted in disgust. "Not that I really have any intentions of befriending someone as devious as you anyway. As far as I'm concerned, we're just working together. And that's it."
"It's okay, Yuki, I understand," he said with a smile. "Geez, you're so shy."
"I LITERALLY JUST TOLD YOU TO STOP THAT!"
I couldn't help but feel as if he wanted to pillage and violate my donut hole, so I ended up shouting as I clenched my ass in fear. And with said shout as the closing remark, my audience with the king of the demon realm finally came to an end.