*One year prior*
The classroom was filled with people. I was late, as usual. Everyday I had a hard time managing to leave my home in the morning.
There was always something. My boys who did not want to get dressed, tantrums about breakfast, kids not wanting to wake up, Mason who delayed me. Well, you name it.
I quickly took my seat next to Dani. The teacher was already explaining how each actor in a problem has their own point of view, story and dilemma's.
Although I was paying attention to what the teacher was saying, my eyes sometimes wandered to him. Dean was sitting in front of me, next to Cloë and some other girls. Cloë was… well… not to be mean, but unattractive. Her face was not flattering and her acne did not help her either.
I don't know why, but where Dean was, was always Cloë. I know, I sound jealous right. And that would be a stupid thing, because I am married. I sighed. And what a marriage that was…
Mason drank too much, and was never really nice to me. It was silly, looking at this young guy a few days a week. But is felt like I did not do anything wrong, because Dean never really returned my stares.
Nah, from time to time it seemed like he even ignored me on purpose. I mean, he was someone who talked to everyone. But never to me.
Dean was fidgeting with a bandage on his hands. It looked like he hit something. He was turning and twisting his hand, looking at it. I had the urge to take his hand and ask him what was wrong, but that would be a ridiculous thing to do.
Still, I could not help myself. "Are you alright? What happened with your hand?" I asked Dean when the lecturer announced a break. So far for my restraint.
He was wearing a white knitted sweater. He always looked so… well I don't know. Was clean the right word?
Dean seemed involuntary to turn to me. His pale blue eyes seemed guarded. But he turned a little in my direction as he said; "oh, it's nothing. It will heal," and he walked away. I shifted in my chair, and turned to Dani.
"Shall we get something to drink?" I asked her. I did not know why he always got to me like that. He was nice to everyone… why would he always have a hard time speaking to me. Was I that bad? Maybe it was because I was much older than him, I don't know.
But that would not be a reason to always ignore me right? I mean… I was married, so he could just talk to me like a normal human being. It was not like I wanted something from him.
"I am going to go shopping with my mom today," Dani said. "Do you have in mind what you are going to buy?" I questioned, my eyes looking for Dean.
He was standing against a venture machine. Cloë was of course standing beside him. I rolled my eyes and for a split second and then our eyes met. His face was hard. It was always hard when he looked at me. My heart drummed in my chest as he looked away again.
I sighed. Dani continued chatting about the type of clothing she had in mind.
The rest of the day at university went by in a blur. When I got home my mom was cooking. A few days a week she watched the boys when I was at college.
When mason got home, he went straight upstairs, changing his outfit. The boys talked about their day with their grandma at the kitchen table.
On Monday I was always a little stressed, because after a long day of lectures, I also had to work.
By the time I came home again, it was almost near midnight. I saw several emptied cans of beer on the table. Mason was asleep on the couch. I turned on the light, because I still needed to do my homework, since I did not have time for that yet. "Turn off the light," Mason snapped. "I can't see anything with the lights off," I complained.
"I can't aways hold your studies into account," Mason snapped again. "Maybe you can go sleep upstairs in our bed," I offered. Mason was not moving. "Turn off that damn light," he commanded.
I took my laptop off the table and went to sit on the couch. Typing in the dark was not easy, but I managed. It was about three o'clock when I went to sleep
I needed to go to sleep, because the next day I was working all day at my other job.
*present time*
On my way back to the house I thought of the way he always thoroughly ignored me. How did we get from that to us fighting because he wants to marry me right this instance. I truly don't know.
It did not take long before Dean came after me and entered the house. I was sitting on the sofa when he rushed through the door.
"I'm sorry darling," was the first thing he said while he approached me. "I should not of said something like that about Pete," he swallowed. "It's just that…" Dean said while scratching the back of his head. "I mean… He is clearly head over heels for you, and I am not interested in losing you to another guy," Dean said as he lifted me on the couch, so that I was now eye-level with him.
His deep pale blue eyes seemed pleading. I did not respond and just looked at him. To be honest, I did not want another Mason, who bound me to a leash. Dean placed his nose against mine, and I felt that his hands we shaking, while tangled in my hair.
"Dean?" I breathed. "Yes," Dean said as he desperately cupped my face. "How come..." I whispered. The question burned on my tongue forever. I desperately needed to know the answer. "I mean... Why did you always ignore me on campus..." I trailed off... "You know, before that night."