Chereads / My heart against my reason / Chapter 3 - to relax

Chapter 3 - to relax

*** EMY ***

It's with a sad mine that I do to work at this morning. I try to focus on everything you have to do but my talk about yesterday with Josh stops ringing in my head. He is sad because I'm. He hates his father because he made me cry and that's something I can not change. But how to be happy when the man we love from all his being do not want more than you? He no longer finds me to his taste? Am I became faded because of maternity? Or what is it? I can not understand.

Nicole: EMY you listen?

Me (jumping): what? Yes, yes I agree.

Nicole (Eelt with the eyes): Okay with what?

Me (Ibéeé): Uh what you said.

Nicole: And what did I say?

Me: I'm sorry I did not follow.

Nicole: Ok I want to see you in my office after the meeting.

Me: Okay. I already already I will go on the white armchair. She will not let go up until I did not tell him what's cast me. Nicole: Ok Emy, Baa, Monique and Solange I want to see a copy of your headings on my office before the end of the week. This is the editors which means that's you who make the magazine live the means that means you still have to bring crispy subjects. Next week is Valentine's Day, I want subjects that will dream of our readers. I know you are lovers so that it should not be difficult. On this good day. I breathe relief that this meeting is complete because I really struggled against my thoughts who wanted to overwhelm them. Yes in addition to being directivity of different departments we are also the editors of magazine and Nicole the editor. I'm in his office and sitting in front of her.

Nico: Yes what is not going?

Me: all. My life is a big thing and my son takes on the weight of my grief.

Nico: Ok. (She pursues on a button on his phone) Girls emergency meetings at the break.

They: Ok. Nico (to me): You can leave.

*** A break ***

Béa: EMY You need a guy.

Me (depositing my glass): Hum hum. Of grace do not repeat.

Monique: If we will start again until you understand. We do not tell you to fall in love and to notice you even if that's what you should do but just to change your mind. Voink explore other heavens and after you will see but do not stay like that to wait until Fabien is led to a lifetime. You must take back to taste life.

Nico: Yes it's true you must move a little. You are all the sad time and you place my son either. He told him himself, he can not be happy when you are unhappy.

Béa: Baby It's 6 months ago that fabien has left you and has been there. What other sign do you want to understand that your marriage is over. F-I-N-I, finished. He is happy with the other so you also made the same. You are still young so you can still let your life again.

Me: I'm no longer very young. I am 37 years old.

Nico: Yes and it's a young age. I have it 40, Baa 36 and Monique 37 like you but looking at us we are growing life at full tooth.

Me: but you are married and happy with your men. Baa she is in a serious relationship.

Béa: We do not talk about wedding but joy of living. You must find another source of happiness. Something or someone who makes you forget your sorrow. You must try to go elsewhere and so fabien had to go back together something that I do not hope Well, it will happen. Do not let it steal your joy.

Me: You are right but for what is to have an adventure I do not think it's a very good idea.

Nico: You are leaving. Well is a restful tonight with children?

Me: Yes, it will make me change the ideas.

*** at restaurant ***

We are sitting in a restaurant around a table for 4 and children on another. Nicole also has two children and monique 1 for the moment since she was married again barely two years. Béa is the only one not to have a child. As heself likes to say, she loves too much life for a child to come out of his independence but in the background it loves children. She keeps inger ours with gifts at each of his visits.

Béa: Oh my God you will never believe what I see.

We: what?

Béa: The beautiful super guns guard with butt belers.

The girls turn to look in the direction where she looks and I do the same but without enthusiastic. Indeed we see the yesterday's dealer sitting at a table in a smoking area with an old man. Siring me a glass of wine with a cigarette between the fingers while the old man eats. I divert the eyes to avoid finding it beautiful as girls do not stop saying.

Monique: Wallay that it is a sign of God. EMY look at the good.

Me: No I'm looking nothing and then Bae your phrase is full of euphemism. You said beautiful guy super guns.

Béa: forgiveness with your French there. It's on me you will start your teaching? Mtchrrrr. You are told looking at the type you are talking about phemist.

Nico: Look-it maybe it will give you the desire to purify. He looks a little down. I shake the head out of over their words and then poses my eyes on the young question. He is facing me so I can see it. It is not bad in any case. Beautiful, sexy with her haircut and his beard that was eating it the plate. The loops in his ears marry perfectly with its style. He looks after, I feel it by his way of looking at the old in front of him. He makes a knit smile ... Okay ok, I think I think he too looked.

Me: It's like you're saying but sorry without I'm not interested. Nothing on him does not attract me.

Monique: That's because you have not yet seen his buttocks.

Me (shocked): Monique. PFF You are heavy. Please forget this story, she does not make sense. I will not be batiolery with a delivery man.

Nico: Oh because it's his delivery that will fuck you fun? My darling we did not say to marry with him, just to take good time and see it feels that it is a man to woman so you will not have to fear that he glues you with the buttocks.

Monique: Yes, impossible to be as beautiful and be single or girlfriend in a single girl.

Me: reason more to do nothing with him. I do not want to chop a dirty sickness.

BEA: That's why condoms exist. Me: Wait when what are we died at dinner?

Nico: Hum stay to stay only one speaking to speak all the French who is in Dictionary there. It's the day your husband's fool is going to send you the divorce papers that you will understand. Week change in topic.

They are entering another subject of conversation and me without wanting you bring my eyes back to the young person. I want to divert my eye but I do not happen. He immediately rises to me and our eyes are crossing. I launch a silently burrow and then drove his eyes. I hope he will not think I'm split.

*** Jamal ***

Tonight I decided to send us diner in a chic restaurant. I wanted to get a little and like him never almost never look at his studio I decided to invite him. I often do it when I'm not too tired by the box. Today I quickly descended because of dinner dinner with us, we usually hold up late night since in the world of the Bizz show is the night that the business is doing and walk. The day it's usually the rest that there are only 3 of my employees who work because they have people who come to drink a little on the terrace and also orders. But the real job is night. So I'm day we rest and the night we work. I usually have been doing when there is no great schedule as a concert or benefits or birthdays of artists but never prevents me still still keeping an eye on everything happening. I put on camera cameras in the box and also in my office without anyone being aware that if someone is trying to roll me into the flour I would know.

Me (rejecting the cigarette smoke): So you like your dish?

Ous: Yes, but this corner looks like a beyond.

Me: Hum I would say but it's not just as long as you feel fun.

Ours: Why are you not my son Jamal?

Me: surely because you had been led to life hard with your fighter fierce but I consider you my father you know that.

Ous: Yes in any case that God bless you and gives you to fall on a good woman.

Me: Thanks to saving me this kind of blessing. I still want my happiness.

Ous: It's not because your ex cheated to you with any other women are like.

Me: all women are like. (I pull on my cigarette) so tell me why you are not married while you love both women.

Ous : I was once.

Me: and ... ???

Ous: And nothing at all. Word me for wine. I sevent it and then feel like a look at me.

I turn his head and crosses the woman's eyes sitting at a table a little far from ours. His face is familiar to me but I do not know where I've already seen it but we do not know it is not my kind of woman so better I do not get me on her although beautiful. She is a little old for me. She can be my mother? Not let us say rather sister because she is still young. Short. We finishes his meal, I set the note and we go. The women turn his head to my passage exactly as when I came home. One of the waitress even made me a clinch and I made him my beautiful smile. I already know that she will pick me up in the whole city but if it's a night girl it will not put long fire to find me. Who did know Know in this community? Jamal who rotates the heads of the girls, it is me.

** This morning I make Bassam in my mother. She lives with my two little roseline and rosine sisters of 17-year-old twin. Mom preferred to stay live in the city where she met and lived with our father the love of his life. They live in the house that has seen us nast and grow. After the death of our father we lost everything or at least his family took us all the house they have sold. We found themselves at the street and lived a time thanks to mother trade but who also finished by taking a shot. We were lived in a sicobois (wooden house) all the 4 and aircraft of diligent. I was often going to borrow money or as we say here to take credits with the neighbors to feed us. I did only reach out to the people around us to help us at the point where we had become the risk of the neighborhood. Then having stopped the courses at college I started shining the shoes, selling lotus and others in the street of Grand Bassam so that my sisters continue to go to school because Papa would never have wanted to stop. Two years later when I was 18 years old I told Mom that I wanted to get to get to Abidjan to fill carefully because I was the man of the house now. I lived in a friend and I started working in a bar as a barman and then contly Joker Discovers and I sent more than half of my salary to my family. A year after I asked for a loan to the bank to open my own box but it's 3 years later that the bank agreed to give me the loan that ran to millions of this because a good old father who was one of their good client was guaranteed. But the bank did not quite wrong. Who would give millions to a young man from who is also supposed to be still on the benches? So I opened my box to 22 years old and I worked hard to grow it. I touched my first first million to age 23 incredible thing and it did not stop until today. I did not really want to be in this area because it happens too much of it right but since it was what happened to me I did with. I wish in the future to start in another thing that is more responsible but good I will think about it later. So I reimburse my credit to the bank and I started to grow the box. I went back to Bassam and I bought our house. My mother cried all the tears of his body and our life is coming back as before. It is a very large villa with several bedrooms, garden and pool. We have so many beautiful memories that I never will have accepted that it is separated. I station in the court and Klaxon to make them understand that I am here. The binoculars come out immediately and bind on me.

Me (receiving them): Oh gently you will make me fall.

Rosine (excited): Did you send us what? You sent us what?

Me: look in the chest you will see.

Mom (outgoing): Let my son get kissing. They leave me and go open the chest while I'm going to take my mother in my arms.

Me: Hello mom. How you are going?

Mom: good and you my son? Me: good.

Roseline: Mom looks at everything Jamal brought us.

Mom: You should not have to spend so much.

Me: but what are you telling? If you do not take my money that will do it? I did not do all this way to give you crumbs. She sets my brilliant eyes and puts me the chest.

Mom: Your father would be proud of you.

Me (making him a bit on the temple): I know. We finished taking lunch and we are now discussing the pool.

Rosine: Jamal we have several fascicles to buy to prepare the tray.

Me: I thought it was forbidden to sell?

Roseline: Hums do the teachers listen to it. And then who will watch them to be sure they do not sell? The people of your government there are laws and then they stay in their big houses there. If people respect their OH or laws, if they do not respect Oh, it's not their problem.

Rosine: It must be left. It's we are their sheep of a sacrifice.

Me: And you need how much in all?

Rosine: 15 thousand (smiling) But you can rounded to 20 thousand huh.

Mom: Girls stop shining your brother. What does you give you not enough?

Me (Smiling): No leaves mom it's not a problem. And then I did not know you had become escrote.

Rosine: HE my brother The life is hard so everyone turns to survive.

Mom: You are you fighting where?

Roseline: But that's what we are doing there. If you do not want to pull your son money back weave. We do not have the same problems the older. Mom shakes his head and I miscore laugh. I love too many these girls, they have the art of putting us in a good mood.

Me: Take the keys and go see in the car in the glove box there is an envelope bring me. They rise and put themselves outdoors. I drink my fruit juice then turns on a cigarette.

Mom: So you are not yet guides Jamal?

Me (rejecting smoke): If mom.

Mom: But you still smoke and you still have not presented me of a girl.

Me: The cigarette ended up making my daily newspaper and concerning a possible daughter-in-girl, it's not worth thinking about it. Otherwise I'm healed and I turned the page.

Mom: No It's wrong. If that was the case you would have smoked. I remind you that it's when you discovered that your icon ex-fiancee was deceiving you with your uncle that you started smoking to forget your sorrow. So if you are still smoking is that the injury is still there. You have to move anything else. Girl daughter girl will not help you forget.

Me: The old STP does not start again. Lande I forgot it but the cigarette I have now used it and in the medium in which I work is something essential to forget the stress and other. She wants to talk but I'm glanced to be happy with her. The girls come back with the envelope, I give them 60 thousand and tends the envelope to Mom which contains 140 thousand.

Mom: Jamal You are not forced to give me money. The 2 Palanges and Jewelry stores you have opened for me report to me.

Me: Mom takes a pardon.

Rosine: Head old you are malin Dh. We give you the money you say no. Jamal give me if she does not want.

Mom: Mtchrrr We told you that it is for you that my son works. She takes the envelope and thank me. I still stay up to 17h and decides to return to prepare to go to the box. During the journey I stop thinking about my reasons for my mother. It's true that I started smoking because of a loved one but today I think I'm overcome. Finally I think. When I opened my box I met the girl a name girl announced and I loved him a lot. I saw it even like my wife in the future but after 6 months of relationship really intense and full of love I lost her abruptly in a traffic accident. She was on the way to see me and the taxi that she had borrowed went home to a big truck killing him on the blow. I thought I was going to hear when I learned the news and I spent a year from me to want me until I lived who reads me for life. I fell crazy in love with her and she made me forget my sorrowfront. After two years of relationship I went to introduce myself to his parents and asked for her hand. They accepted well what is still we still still young to get married and during the preparations for the dot she has become pregnant for my greatest happiness even if I had not planned to have a child now. However, I had a little doubt because we had decided to abstain until wedding so we had not lay together for 2 months but she told me be three months old so I put aside my doubts. One day his mother discovered that she was 4 weeks pregnant so 1 month and she called me to make me reproach since it was them who had asked us to abstain. I was surprised and the same day one of my friends sent me on whatsapps of leontering out of a hotel arm below with the little brother of my father's deceased who is married and has three children. The one even who had sold our house and posed the money. After confrontation she confessed to be the mother's mother of uncle for more than one year and that he was the author of his pregnancy. This day was the beginning of a great depression. My universe had collapsed and my heart broken in a thousand piece. I made a depression then I started smoking and sleeing her the mouth every day to forget it. I even gave up my box for several months because I was at the lowest. I was at the bottom of the gouffre. I had so much seen my parents being happy and loved if passionately I had decided to be like them, to love for real and not being a flying man but after all that I had lived my resolutions had been thrown at the trash. So I decided to never open my heart to anyone. I decided to do not have a relationship but just just assist ass from the result that hemother I need needs and desires. So here are 2 years old I live my single life and I'm happy. Super happy. My mother may be right. Maybe if I still can not fall in love and to make me a call it is because I'm not yet tested. I do not know if I can love one day but something is sure I do not want to love anymore. I do not want to revive this grief that I lived two years ago. I do not want to have a heart as a matter of a woman. I do not want to wander myself in alcohol and cigarette, already I'm trying to stop. So the best is that I continue my little life as I started two years ago.