I never could meet you whenever I wanted to, so much that my chest is burning... ― Togetsukyo ~ Kimi Omofu ~, Kuraki Mai
xxxxxx
Despite the threat lurking since Kourin's mind wasn't concentrating on that, she ended up having her morning walk earlier than usual. And by early, she meant 5 AM.
The minors' curfew was until 5 AM in the subdivision where Kourin lived. At exactly 5 AM, she went outside the mansion. She needed to think straight. It was just really weird. She wasn't able to sleep soundly. But she should've expected that.
Besides, when has Kourin slept soundly since the attack took place years ago?
Upon looking up, Kourin smiled in melancholy as she saw a few stars glittering in the sky that particular dawn. Would there even be a chance that sadness would not overwhelm her every time she saw the sky with more twinkling stars?
"You shouldn't be out here all alone, princess."
Kourin stopped walking when she heard that. She turned around and set her gaze on one particular tree. She knew the person who said those words was there ー just hiding. She just shook her head and smiled at the same time.
"I don't know if you're getting sloppy at hiding or you're just showing yourself on purposeー" Kourin paused. "ーMiyako-san."
Next Kourin heard a faint laugh. A few moments later, Miyako came out of her hiding place. "I guess you're not exactly oblivious to your surroundings even if you're alone and your mind doesn't seem to be in touch with reality."
Kourin just shrugged. "I need to be more alert especially now that I'm alone." Then she faced Miyako. "By the way, what's the result of what I've asked you to do for me?"
"Are you that desperate to know where he is?"
Seriously... Does Miyako have to answer Kourin's inquiry with another question? She just scratched her head so hard. "Miyako! Just answer my question properly."
And this woman just laughed at Kourin which only made her pout. Soon after, she saw Miyako sigh which made her frown.
"I found him... about two weeks ago," Miyako said gravely.
"Really? How?" Kourin could no longer hide her excitement at what Miyako had announced.
Miyako nodded. "Through Shuji. He met with me just to tell me the events. He was the one that Lord Hitoshi had assigned to watch over Seiichi and he said he had to do that without anyone knowing. His family -- or rather, his uncle and his cousin -- migrated to New Zealand so Mamoru and I had a hard time finding him. Shuji did everything he could to hide the truth about Seiichi's location. "
She knew who Shuji was even though that person doesn't usually appear to her except to Hitoshi. "Does that mean he's still in New Zealand?" So, he was far. She couldn't help feeling deflated at the thought.
But then Kourin frowned once more when she saw Miyako shaking her head. What does that mean?
"He came back here... to discover what exactly had happened at the Shinomiya mansion more than two years ago."
"What?!"
This has got to be a joke, right?
"Though he knew you were already dead, he still wanted to know what happened at the Shinomiya mansion for everything to reach that point. Or at least that's what Shuji told me when I saw him two weeks ago. Seiichi had the intention of speaking first to one of the survivors of the attack. We're still trying to find out who that person is. "
Of all the things Miyako said to Kourin, only one crossed her mind. "Did you meet Shuji?"
Miyako nodded grimly. "He told me what he thought he knew about Seiichi's plan now that he's here in the country. But that's not the only reason Shuji and I met. He told me that I had to find the guy before something worst happens because I learned at the same time that ー "
"Someone's after him..." was what came out of Kourin's mouth when she remembered the conversation she had with Amiko the night before.
Miyako no longer hid her shock.
"You knew?"
This time, Kourin nodded. "Something happened yesterday that made me find that out. But what should I do? Miyako, I can't just let him be ruined just because he wants to know the truth." It would kill her if she discovered that he ended up getting hurt because of that. She didn't want other innocent people to end up getting hurt because of him.
Silence surrounded Kourin and Miyako. Maybe it was because they both had nothing to say.
"Maybe you could still do something," Miyako said later, causing Kourin to frown and turn her attention to the other girl.
"Show yourself to him."
'Show myself? To him? Would it be that easy?'
Then again, since when did it become easy with all things related to Seiichi, anyway? Ever since then, it was hard for her. That was why she couldn't tell the truth to him, right? It was one of her greatest regrets since the day he left. And Hitoshi knew that very well.
And now, it looked like she had no hope of confessing to Seiichi even if she wanted to. She took a different path after making her decision two years ago.
'Nothing is impossible, as they say. But in this case, I guess I have to say that it was never meant to be...'
Whether or not it was something that Kourin just wanted to say to herself just to give up, she knew full well that a part of her heart was still holding on to that lingering hope.
Maybe she wouldn't be able to deny that no matter what else happened on the path she took. Everything about Seiichi... She knew she would keep holding on to him even if fate kept preventing her from doing so.