It was two days later when I finally felt like things were returning to normal, and I was sitting in the dining room of my grandfather's house studying.
Things had calmed down a lot in our family during that time, and I was fully out of restriction because I had been able to convince everyone that I was much better now. I'll be the first to admit that I was very happy about that.
Of course, being back to normal meant that now I was back to a sort of routine, and since it was Fall, that meant schoolwork. I was only just turning sixteen, so I still had at least a year to go before getting my G.E.D.
I had been a home school kid for most of my life, and only recently, my two cousins had joined me. While it had always been my choice, considering I was never that comfortable in the school system, Sevee's had been at first from all of his troubles in school, and of course, Seraphina followed what her brother did, although this time it had worked out well for her with her recent mental breakdown.
I kept glancing at Seraphina as we sat there with our books, taking in her quiet expression as she read. She seemed to be doing a lot better since I had gotten back after my fiasco of looking for Noel. But then, maybe seeing me and Lenore had brought hope back to her. According to what Mia had said, she had been so happy when she saw Lenore that she'd managed to use her voice for the first time in nearly three months. Even if she didn't say much at a time yet, it was such a relief from the silence she'd had for what felt like so long. I hoped that now with me and Sevee, and us starting a more normal routine, she'd start talking even more.
As for Sevee, I didn't see where he had anything to be unhappy about. Even looking at him now, I could see the light in his eyes. That was new. Sevee hadn't had that for as long as I could remember. But then, he also had his own family now. Lenore had returned to them, and she had easily fallen into her role as his girlfriend and Sage's mother. Even now, she was back at their house with Mia, taking care of Sage with her while Sevee focused on schoolwork with us. From what I understood, he was gonna go for his G.E.D. in the Spring. That way, he would get plenty of time with his little family and move on to working with his dad and grandfather fully.
Good for him, I thought bitterly. I still don't know what the hell to do yet.
I was pulled out of those bitter thoughts by Seraphina's little voice. It still came out soft and slightly cracking in places, but it was getting better each day.
"I don't get it," she stated.
"What is it?" I asked her.
"It's this book. I have to write a paper on it, but I don't understand. Why would a woman wear a wedding dress so long after her lover left her? She's supposed to teach the little girl how bad men are, but if she keeps wearing the dress, then doesn't that mean she's still loving him and not letting go?" Seraphina explained.
"Normally, I'd say insanity, but I'd lean more towards that she never really let go. You could use that as part of your essay about the book." Sevee offered.
"I agree with him. I think it would be a good starting point to talk about the themes of it." I added.
"Have you read Cruel Intentions before, Noah?" Seraphina asked me.
"Yeah. I read it on my own last year because I saw the movie and Mom swore it was nothing like the book. She was right too. But I have heard there's a more accurate older movie of it." I told her.
"You know," Sevee continued, "you didn't need to choose that book if you think it's confusing. You could always switch out. We do have that option. Raphael told us that."
Seraphina shook her head, "But I do like it. It's a good story. It makes me question things, and I like when I can do that."
Sevee shrugged, "If you say so."
It was a relief to hear this exchange between them. It actually felt normal where so many things hadn't in the recent months.
We all turned back our books, sitting in silence again. I was half expecting Raphael to come in there at any minute to check in on us. He usually did when we worked together like this, just to make sure that we weren't goofing off or getting into some kind of debate.
While he often worked with Michael during the day, he had offered to divide his attention to help us with our homeschool, especially since our parents were often busy with their own work. He had a way of maneuvering things for that. I liked to think that he was one of the most efficient people I'd ever met, but maybe it was also a talent he'd always had.
There were also times when Sevee's father, Sean, stepped in too. I admit that I really loved with he did. Sean was incredibly smart, and when I was younger, he'd used different methods to keep me interested, even make it fun for me to get into learning. I owed him big time for all of that, considering starting out, I'd hated school. All I wanted to do was play the piano. Thanks to Sean, I got into learning and excelled at it in the years that followed. My dad always said he owed him big time for it, but Sean brushed it off, saying that it was only natural that he'd want to help me succeed.
I noticed Seraphina look over at me from the corner of my eye. She looked curious now.
"Hey Noah, did you really get to see Purgatory?" she asked me.
"Yeah, unfortunately," I answered.
I wasn't too sure of why she'd suddenly bring this up, and it made me a little uneasy. She had only just started talking again, and she'd tried to take her own life two months before. Even though she'd sprouted her wings right after Lenore had died, the thought that she could still be thinking about taking her life scared me.
"It's better not to talk about places like that Sera. We'll never have to go there anyway." Sevee reminded her.
"Yeah. I hope none of us ever have to, even looking for someone. It sounds scary." Seraphina relented. She then changed the subject, apparently wanting to have a conversation, although neither of us would deny her that, "You also got to meet Jekia again. I'd love to do that sometime. He sounds like such an amazing creature."
"Yeah, I guess he is in a lot of ways. He did save Sage and give him back to me too. I still owe him for that." Sevee acknowledged.
"You sure as hell got yourself into a lot of trouble with all of that," I commented.
"Don't I always? You told me before that I'm way too impulsive, but I did get some good stuff out of it this time." Sevee bragged.
"You're the only one I know who would brag about getting a girl pregnant and having a kid at fifteen." I countered quietly.
Seraphina frowned at me, "Come on, Noah. Sevee's taken good care of Sage, and now Lenore will too. Everyone has times where they don't think about what might happen."
"That's one of the many things I love about you, sis. You're always my defender." Sevee grinned.
"Her and your mother," I grumbled.
"You know you're her favorite, Sevee. That's why she always defends you and helps you so much." Seraphina softly stated.
Damn it. I hadn't meant to open that can of worms.
From what I'd understood, this was one of the things that really ate away at Seraphina inside before. For whatever reason, she was convinced that Sevee was their mother's favorite. While I said it in jest, she really believed it, even now, and none of us could convince her otherwise, no matter how hard we tried.
It really bothered Mia too. She kept wondering if she'd done something wrong with Seraphina to make her feel that way. But we didn't think it was that. Sevee was always in some kind of trouble throughout the years because of his attitude, so she'd had no choice but to deal with him. Poor Seraphina, who was basically the sweet, obedient twin, was the one who bore the brunt of that cycle.
Not that Sevee didn't feel guilty over it too. He was still trying hard to mend things and get her to understand that that was never the case.
Sevee reached across the table and squeezed her hand.
"Come on Sera, that's not true. Mom loves you the same as she loves me." he reminded her.
"I know. I'm really trying too." Seraphina relented.
"Anyway," I spoke up, trying to change the subject, "I heard you say something when you first met Jekia about his children. They were pretty young, huh?"
Sevee nodded, "Yeah, but according to Dad, time works differently there. A year there is like a hundred years here. If his father hadn't left him and Sara right outside of the gateway while he was growing up, he'd still be that young too. It's really weird to think about."
"No kidding." I agreed.
Seraphina shifted a little in her seat, now looking a bit uncomfortable. It was like something deeper was on her mind that she was a little hesitant to speak about.
"Um, Sevee, I've been thinking about something too. You remember when you let me see what they looked like, right?"
Yes, this was one of Seraphina's abilities since she'd gotten her wings. She could look into your memories simply by touching you if she wished to. I wasn't too sure how comfortable I was with that, but she'd also promised me that she wouldn't do it without permission.
"Of course I do. What's up?" Sevee responded.
"Well," Seraphina hesitated a little before continuing, "They are very cute and all, and I'd love to see them in person one day. But I thought it was a little odd too. The one has white coloring, and the other has red, and they are both supposed to be like Jekia, right? But the red one doesn't feel like him to me. I don't know why, but he feels like he's another Fox."
That one caught my attention, "Seriously? But they're both supposed to be his."
"Yeah, that…" Sevee let out a long breath, "I don't know the whole story with that one, and it's not like it's our business, but me and Dad sensed it too. But like I said, it's not something we need to worry about, so it's better not to think too much into it. Jekia calls them his sons, so that's that."
Our conversation was interrupted by a strange sound outside. All three of us looked towards the window, listening closely. It sounded like a horse's hooves hitting the ground.
"What's that?" Seraphina whispered.
"Probably the Dregs. I heard from Dad that they've been sent out to look for Noel's spirit, so they're probably close by in the woods doing that." Sevee answered.
Curiosity got the better of us, and all three of us got up to look out of the window. We could see dark shapes moving through the woods about ten feet from the house. They billowed as they moved, standing out even in the shadows of the trees.
"They're pretty close here, don't you think?" I commented.
"Yeah, but I wouldn't worry about it. We know that our family wouldn't let anything happen to us, and we're not what they're after." Sevee reassured me.
He was right about that stuff, but it didn't stop me from feeling nervous. If the Dregs were so close to this area, then they must have thought that Noel was still trying to get to us. Not that it would've been surprising. She probably still wanted revenge, especially for the things that she had shown me before the Sumarians had shown up. I didn't say anything to anyone, but I knew now that my grandfather was keeping a huge secret, and I was sure that even Michael didn't know about it. I couldn't help wondering what everyone would think if they ever found it out.
Sevee glanced at me, "Hey, everything okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm good. Just thinking." I lied.
Seraphina turned towards me, "Are you sure? You look a little pale."
"Seriously, I'm good. It's just been a long couple of days." I reassured her.
I did my best to keep this all to myself and act normal. The last thing I needed was for her to touch me and see that memory I'd been given. She was very good at pulling that stuff when she wanted to. Even Michael had a hard time keeping stuff from her with this new ability she'd gained, and he was supposed to be the most powerful in our family.
Our study session went on normally after that, and my mother came to pick me up about an hour later. I was glad to be back home, and after talking to her for a little bit, I headed up to my room with the excuse that I wanted to work on some music for a while before Dad came home.
I closed my door behind me and let out a long breath as I stood in my room. After a minute of recomposing myself, I set my bag down beside my desk and flopped onto my bed. Closing my eyes, I did my best to will my mind into nothingness, yet the images remained emblazoned into it, looping over and over as though they were being projected from a stuck film.
Yes, Noel had shown me the awful truth to a lot of stuff back then. I couldn't help wondering how such a thing could've happened under everybody's noses, curse or no curse. How could that make her so damned powerful? She had to have been to control my grandfather like she had for that time. It was like she'd had Raphael in an unbearable stranglehold until the day that Michael was able to release him.
Turning to my left side, I did my best to will myself to sleep. I needed to rest now. Maybe then I'd be able to forget about all of this.
I eventually was able to drift off, although it was only into a light sleep. That was enough for me. I'd needed to stop thinking for now. All of this had been getting to be a little too much since I'd come home, and I didn't want my parents to worry any more than they already had been.
I don't know exactly how long I ended up sleeping. I vaguely remember hearing someone come into my room to check on me, but didn't bother trying to wake up. They didn't say anything to me either. They just gently touched my forehead, then left.
It must've been my mother. She did stuff like that all the time. It made me smile as I drifted off completely again.
When I finally woke up, it was more like something had startled me awake. I bolted up in my bed, looking around my room as I breathed hard with my heart racing. The room was dark, and so was outside of the windows. I drew in some deep breaths as I looked at the digital clock near my bed. The glowing red numbers read that it was 8:58.
Seriously? I thought. I slept that long?
I rubbed my head as I shifted to the side of my bed to look out of the window. The night was quiet outside, much like always. I sighed, rubbing my eyes again in an effort to fully wake up.
But as I did, I noticed something odd. I blinked and leaned a little closer to the window, trying to make out whether I was really seeing something or if it was just the blur in my eyes from sleep. Yes, it was really there.
It was a small red flame, flickering out in the woods.
That had me beyond curious, so I opened my window and brought out my remaining wing, using it to help me land as I jumped to the ground. Far be it for me to go get my parents. It wouldn't hurt anything for me to investigate it. I could've just been seeing things.
I headed into the woods, going straight to the area where I'd thought I'd seen that flame. But now there was no sign of it. I stopped and looked around, feeling a bit disappointed. Maybe I had imagined it as I was waking up.
But as I turned to leave, it suddenly became extremely dark around me. I stopped dead in my tracks, looking around quickly but unable to discern where I was now. The darkness looked endless, like I'd stepped into some kind of inky void.
All at once, the deafening sounds of screaming filled the darkness around me. I grabbed my ears, kneeling down and feeling scared now. Cold fear was creeping up my spine, like my entire being could sense something extremely evil coming toward me. I had to run. Even if I couldn't see where I was going, I had to make a run for it and get back to my house. Then I could call my dad for help.
I managed to stand up, then started to run in the direction I hoped would be my house. But as I did, something black suddenly came barreling out in front of me, hitting me right in the middle of my chest. I tried to yell out, but was paralyzed with extreme pain as the blackness spread over my body until it finally covered my eyes...
The next thing I knew, I was waking up in my bed. I bolted up, feeling cold sweat all over me and breathing so hard that I could feel my chest rising and falling. What the hell was that? Was it supposed to be some kind of nightmare?
I slowly looked toward my window, seeing that it was now closed and locked. It was like I'd never left my room. A long breath escaped me as I began to calm down, and I looked at my hands. No, there was no black anywhere on them, nor on the rest of my skin as I looked myself over.
Just a dream. It was a nightmare from the stress that I'd been through.
I moved to get off of my bed, but cringed as I felt a sudden, sharp pain in my leg. It felt like my thigh was burning. I sat back and pulled my pants down to look, staring in surprise as I saw my left thigh. There was a strange-looking star carved into my skin, taking up a good portion of the top of it. The blood it had brought out had now dried, so it had been a little hard to remove my pants from it to even look. The star reminded me of what a kid would draw, the lines uneven and unsteady.
"What is this?" I whispered as I touched it.
The wound felt warm under my fingers, the skin around the cuts an angry red. It was like it hadn't been that long since it had happened.
But as I touched it, a wave of nausea suddenly hit me. I held my head, taking a few deep breaths to keep myself from getting sick. Thankfully, it felt like it died down after a few minutes, and I could look up again. As I did, my eyes caught sight of my clock.
12:05.
What the hell? I'd been asleep that long? How come no one had tried to wake me up?
I slowly stood up and pulled up my pants. The nausea and fear had faded now, and I could feel my stomach growling. I hadn't eaten anything since lunch that afternoon, so I was starving. Maybe I'd feel better if I ate something now, not to mention think clearer.
The house was dark and quiet as I headed downstairs to the large kitchen. I opened one of the cabinets near the refrigerator and searched for something quick to fill my stomach, finally settling on some cereal. After fixing a bowl, I sat at the island and tried to eat and clear my mind. Yet I couldn't stop thinking about that dream. It had to be a stress thing. I'd heard before that stress causes nightmares.
"Noah?"
I almost jumped as I heard the sudden voice. Looking ahead, I let out a relieved breath as I saw that it was my mom. She was coming into the kitchen, looking like she'd just woken up. Her long hair was a little tangled around her face and shoulders, and she was dressed in her white robe over her silk nightgown.
"Oh, hey Mom." I greeted her as I went back to eating.
"Hey. What are you doing up so late? Are you feeling any better?" Mom asked me as she sat on the barstool beside me.
"I guess, but why didn't anybody wake me up earlier?" I responded.
She gave me a strange look, "You were awake. You told me that you weren't feeling that good, so you didn't want dinner." she told me.
I took a few seconds to think about that. Nope, I couldn't recall any of it. Was I sleepwalking or something?
Still, I decided not to worry her too much with all of this. I'd never liked seeing Mom worry over me, and she'd been doing that a lot lately.
"Yeah, sorry. I guess I was still half asleep or something." I apologized.
"Are you sure you're okay? You look pale." Mom noted as she touched my forehead.
"I'm good. I guess I'm still tired, but I thought it would be better for me to try to eat something." I lied.
Unfortunately for me, Mom wasn't buying that one. She usually was pretty in tune with things going on with me.
"Something's bothering you, isn't it?" she probed, her voice remaining gentle.
I shook my head, "No. It's just stuff catching up with me, and it's made me overtired. That's all."
"You know I'll listen if there's anything you need to talk about too, Noah." Mom continued, laying a gentle hand on my leg.
But as she did, I suddenly reeled back from her and jumped up.
"Don't touch me!" I heard myself yell.
I had no idea why I'd reacted so violently. I'd never been bothered by my mother's touch. It was always comforting before. But it was like something inside of me couldn't stand it now.
Mom stared at me, clearly shocked, "What in the world has gotten into you?" she asked in disbelief.
The guilt hit me full force, although I still felt that reeling sensation inside of me. I needed to get away from her before I said anything else to her.
"Sorry. I'm just a little sensitive right now, and I need some more rest. Hopefully, I'll feel better tomorrow." I said as I quickly excused myself.
I ran back up to my room before my mother could respond, quickly closing the door. My thigh burned again, but I did my best to ignore it as I climbed into my bed and forced my eyes to close. This had to be some kind of delayed reaction to everything I'd been going through. I just needed some sleep, and I'd be good again. Everything would be okay tomorrow.
I thankfully did fall asleep fairly quickly after all of that, and the next time I woke up, it was to the bright sunlight coming in through my dark sheer curtains. I shivered a little as I sat up, feeling the coolness of the room. The cold of the late fall was starting to set in, and I could see where a light frost had settled over the grounds outside.
I stretched as I got up, feeling better than I had the night before. My head didn't hurt now, and my thigh had stopped burning. Heading to my nearby closet, I opened the mirrored door and grabbed some clothes to get in my shower. That would help me feel completely normal again.
After locking the door and stripping in the bathroom, I turned on the shower and hopped in, relaxing under the steady stream of warm water. This was more like it. At least I was feeling better now.
But my comfort was short-lived as I looked down at my leg and caught sight of the star carved into it. Damn, I hadn't been dreaming that one after all. Using a washcloth, I tried to clean it off a little so that I could take a better look at it. It wasn't that hard to remove the dried blood, and I made a mental note to throw out that pair of pants. I didn't need anybody questioning me about it.
Although I was fairly sure that I must've been sleepwalking the night before, seeing this wound unnerved me a little. The cuts were pretty deep, and I didn't get how I hadn't woken myself up doing them. Maybe it would be a good idea to keep all of my sharp objects out of sight for a while, just to be safe. Besides, I didn't want to worry my parents any more than I had been, especially not my mother.
Mom.
Mental note, I thought. Apologize to Mom.
I ran my fingers over the cuts, again noting how large this wound was. Something was weird here. Why hadn't I woken myself up when I did this? Cuts this deep had to be painful when they were inflicted, so that should've woken me right away.
But now that I thought about it, my mother's checking on me earlier should have too.
I let out a quiet breath. I guessed I'd never really know what the hell happened last night.
Yet I couldn't stop wondering what this star was supposed to mean too. I didn't do a lot of drawing, and I sure as hell had never thought of harming myself even once in my life. This was completely unlike me. I was just glad that I didn't wear shorts. This thing was probably going to end up leaving a nasty scar, and I didn't want anyone else to see that.
I turned off the shower after a few more minutes, then got out and began drying off, telling myself to stop thinking so much about all of this. It all had to be a fluke, a strange passing nightmare brought on by my time within the Veil and Purgatory. It wouldn't happen again.
But as I dried my hair, I was suddenly struck by a sharp pain within my back. I cringed, holding onto the sink so that I didn't fall over from it. What the hell? It felt like this pain was coming from where I'd lost my wing.
As it subsided some, I brought my remaining wing out and turned to look over my shoulder at the mirror to see what it and the remaining stub looked like. Nothing looked abnormal about it as far as I could see, although the skin around the edges of the stub looked a little red. I wondered if I was getting some kind of infection there.
Great, I thought. That's the last thing I need.
After a few more minutes of looking at this, I forced myself to pull my wings back in, then got dressed and brushed my hair into place. No sense in hiding away in my room all day, especially when I was feeling better for the most part. Since the pain in my back was now gone, I decided not to mention it to anybody. If it came back and kept up, then I could always talk to Gabrielle about it. Besides, there were no signs of black in my wings, so I should be okay.
Yep, just a weird night and beginning of my morning. It had to get better.
Stepping out of the bathroom, I made my way down the hall towards the stairs, taking in the familiar sights and sounds of the morning. Everything was like it normally was, which I was grateful for.
But as I got to the stairs, I stopped dead in my tracks. Seraphina was sitting there waiting for me. She smiled as she saw me and stood up.
"Good morning Noah. Are you feeling better?" she asked me.
I returned her smile, not wanting to alarm her. It felt good to see her.
"Yeah, I'm good now. I think I was just overtired, and the rest helped." I reassured her. I looked around us, hearing the muffled sounds of voices downstairs, "Did your parents drop you off here?"
"Oh no. Mama's down there visiting with Anna, and she said I could come along and visit with you while she was here. Everything's been so much better that they thought it would be good if we could go back to visiting each other like we used to." Seraphina explained.
I immediately pushed all my thoughts about my strange problems into a closed-door in my mind as she approached me. Far be it for her to touch me and see any of it, and trust me, she would if I didn't take steps to conceal it. Seraphina was about as talented a reader as they came already.
"I'm glad to hear that, and I'm really sorry that I had you so worried. Things have been heavy lately, but they're getting a lot better now." I told her.
The smile remained on Seraphina's face, "That's okay. You know how I am. I always worry whenever one of us is having problems or not feeling right."
"Yeah, you do, but you also need to remember to think about yourself. We don't want you to drag yourself back down either."
"I know, and I promise I will. I'm doing a lot better. I can even talk now."
I chuckled, patting her shoulder, "I know, and that makes all of us feel incredibly relieved."
To my surprise, Seraphina looked a little startled as I did this. Her eyes narrowed a bit like she was studying me, and she tilted her head to the side.
"That's weird," she mumbled.
"What's up?" I asked her.
I wasn't sure of what had just happened, and it worried me. Had she been able to see something from last night that I'd tried to lock away?
"That's so strange. I can't read you, and usually, I don't even have to try. It's like looking at a blank screen when I touch you." Seraphina admitted.
Yeah, that was strange. I'd never been able to block her like that before. She normally at least pulled up some of my thoughts or memories whenever she touched me, although that also gave me a good opportunity to shake this off.
"You do know that it's not very nice to read people without their permission." I teased.
Seraphina gave me a slight pout, but took the bait, "I know. I just like knowing what you're thinking. You've got such a good poker face, just like my daddy."
"I'll take that one as a compliment."
Both of us laughed, and I held her hand as the two of us headed downstairs. As I expected, my mother was already down there in the kitchen, sitting at the table with some coffee and talking to Mia. Both of them smiled at us as they saw us.
"Hey, good morning Noah." Mia greeted me.
"Morning. How are you feeling?" Mom added.
"Morning. I'm feeling better." I answered. I looked at Mia, "I didn't know you and Seraphina were coming by. How's Sage doing?"
"He's really good. Sevee and Lenore have him with just them for now." Mia told me.
"I think that's really good for the three of them. He is their son, and Lenore already seems like such a good mom. She's so attentive to him." Mom commented.
Seraphina grinned, "She's so happy that she gets to be here with him now. She keeps telling me how much she wanted to hold him and love him."
The conversation dragged on normally after that, and I did my best to put on a normal face and forget about all of the weirdness that had been happening to me. I kept telling myself that it was all just flukes. I could move on like normal now.
But, unfortunately, things didn't feel like they were much better later that afternoon. As usual, I had gone to my grandfather's house to study with Seraphina and Sevee, and the three of us were sitting at the dining room table as Raphael sat in the nearby den room at the desk he had in there. He'd stayed with us this afternoon because he wanted to get some spreadsheets straight along with finalizing a few drafts for some business meetings he was set to have in the next few weeks. It wasn't like he hadn't done this before, so none of us minded. It was kind of nice to know he was right there if we needed help with something.
I was still finding it hard to concentrate though as I sat there. My thigh kept burning off and on, making me discreetly rub it. It was getting annoying, and I had already made the plan to find something to cover the wounds when I got home. This had to be irritation from my pants because the cuts were still so fresh.
As we sat there and I did my best to ignore this unpleasant feeling, I became aware of a soft thump near me. I glanced to the side to see that a book had fallen off of the bookshelf against the wall across the room.
That's odd, I thought. Those books are usually pushed in tightly.
No one said anything about it though. Seraphina and Sevee glanced at it, then went back to what they were studying, and Raphael got up and casually replaced the book on the shelf like it was supposed to be. He glanced at me as he went by, but said nothing, only going back to his desk to start working again.
I sighed and turned back to my own book. I was supposed to be writing down notes for the essay I needed to do on it, but I hadn't written a thing yet. I huffed and forced myself to concentrate more. I really needed to get this going now. At this rate, Sevee was gonna beat me on another assignment. I glanced at him to see that he was working away without any hesitation. Again, not unusual.
Seriously, are all Foxes this damn smart?
I began writing down notes about what I'd just read, and did my best to push all the thoughts aside. But as I started getting into it, the sound of something else falling onto the carpeted floor caught my attention. I looked to my side and saw that it was a paperweight. Again, this was strange. I could've sworn that it had been in the middle of our table, and I knew that Sevee and Seraphina hadn't touched it.
Raphael let out a sigh as he got up and walked over there.
"Are you playing games today, Noah?" he quietly asked me.
Great. He thought I was doing this. That's why he was looking at me with the book. Or at least that's what I thought.
I looked at my book as I shook my head, "No, I wasn't trying to. I guess I just moved it over too close to the edge. Sorry." I lied.
Nope, I knew none of us had moved it. I was sure about that.
Raphael picked the paperweight up, setting it back on the table, "Please be more careful. You need to make sure you can concentrate." he reminded me as he patted my shoulder. He then turned to head back to his desk.
"Go on. You know you want to scold the boy." I suddenly heard a female voice whisper.
I looked around, doing my best not to be too noticed, but the voice was gone as suddenly as it came. Sevee and Seraphina also didn't react, proving that they didn't hear it.
But oddly, Raphael immediately stopped and looked back at me. The look in his eyes told me that I hadn't been hearing things. He'd heard it too.
But he said nothing about it, only taking in a long breath before heading back to his work. I could tell by that reaction that he was as puzzled as I was.
I shook my head, doing my best to get back to what I'd been doing. I couldn't let this stop me now. I needed to get this done. So, I started writing my notes, and again, things seemed normal. I was glad about that. I was starting to worry that I was losing it.
But as I finished, I glanced at what I had written and froze. Yes, my notes were still there, but now there was a message written across the page in big, violent scribbled letters.
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!
I quickly closed the notebook so that no one else would see this. What the hell was going on? I knew I didn't write that, and it wasn't even close to my handwriting, even with how violently it had been done. Now I was really worried that I was starting to lose it. It took all of my willpower not to just get up and leave the house right then and there. Something was definitely wrong with me, but how could I even begin explaining any of this to anyone?
I don't think that I'd ever been more grateful for our homeschool time to be done. Making sure to keep myself in check, I gathered my stuff as fast as I could so that I could leave with my mother without making any kind of scene. I was really considering hiding away for the rest of the afternoon now. This was all too much.
But that didn't happen. Seraphina decided to come back with us to visit a little more. Just my luck.
After getting back to my house, Seraphina turned to me and smiled.
"Hey Noah, I was wondering if you'd come for a walk with me on the trail here? It will still be about half an hour before Dad picks me up, and it's so nice out today." she requested.
Mom smiled at us as we stood in the foyer, "I think that sounds nice Noah. You'll still be close to the house too."
Damn my luck. I'll admit that if things were a little different, I would've been elated at having this chance. Now it felt like some kind of cosmic joke. But how could I say no when Mom and Seraphina were so expectant here?
"Alright. Just give me a minute to put my stuff in my room, then I'll take you." I relented.
"Yay, thanks, Noah!" Seraphina chimed.
I muttered "You're welcome", then headed up to my room. I'd already decided that I was going to hide this notebook for now. I could take a better look at it later. Besides, how could I pass up a chance to be with Seraphina? Even if it was just a walk, it felt good to think I could be with her alone and close to her.
It was still pretty cool outside as the two of us left the house, but nice enough with the sunshine. Seraphina held my hand as we went down the nearby trail in the woods, and we took in the sight of the turning leaves in the high trees. It was quiet out there and relaxed me a little more. I actually started to forget about all the troubles that seemed to be plaguing me.
"It's so beautiful out here, especially right before the real cold sets in. Don't you think so, Noah?" Seraphina was saying.
"Yeah. Sevee mentioned that he and Lenore were gonna come out to the trails too when we were done. I wonder how that's going with Sage." I responded.
"I'm sure it's nice for them. They both already really like doing things as a family." Seraphina told me.
"I'm sure they do, although it still feels a little strange to know that Lenore's back," I confessed.
Seraphina nodded, "I know what you mean, but I'm so glad that she is. I missed her too. She's so sweet, and she's so good to my brother. He's happy when he's with her, and that they have a little family together now."
She had a point. Sevee had been much happier since Sage was born, and now that Lenore was back, he was like a new guy. I liked to think that Lenore had really calmed that wild nature of his, although I did kind of miss our little fights sometimes.
But I also had to admit to myself that I'd always carried a bit of jealousy towards Sevee too, especially with how good his life was turning out now. He always seemed to have it so much better than I did, even if I couldn't really complain about my life. Maybe it was because it felt to me like he got away with so much. Of course, the best way to look at that would probably be to say that Sevee was Sevee. It was like rash actions and impeccable smarts were just part of who he was.
This was a life of semi-freedom that I'd never really known. I was a Nephilim and he was a Fox. I was held to higher standards than him. Well, at least, that was how I felt about it.
I was pulled out of these thoughts by Seraphina stopping in front of me. There was a set look in her eyes now.
"Noah, can I ask you something since it's just the two of us?" she requested.
"Sure. Ask away." I responded.
"When you told your dad that you loved me, did you really mean it?"
Why, oh why, did she have to ask me that? I didn't want to think about that stuff right now. I'd already resigned myself to live with these feelings and never mention them to her again.
Yet as I stood there, it was like something took hold of me.
"Of course I did. I always will." I answered calmly.
Seraphina looked down, holding her hands to her chest, "I see. I'm sorry. I keep wondering where to believe you about that, and I know that you ran away because of me too. Well, me and what that woman was saying in your dreams."
I was mentally pleading with her to drop this, but I couldn't voice it. It was like I wasn't in control of myself now.
"You don't have to blame yourself for that. There was just something I needed to know, so I decided to go and figure it out for myself." I told her.
"Like what?" Seraphina asked.
I moved forward, pulling her close to me. My mind was reeling as this happened, but I still couldn't find control. This was very bad too. I was actually hoping that Sean or my mother would show up and somehow stop this.
"I needed to know how to prove how I feel about you." I heard myself say.
Seraphina's green eyes widened, "Huh?"
I had the sense that I would've kissed her then, but I finally broke my mind free and pulled away from her. It took me some effort to catch my breath. I felt like I'd been in some weird stranglehold.
Seraphina looked shocked as she stared at me.
"Noah, what's going on? Are you okay?" she asked.
I managed to pull myself together. The last thing I needed was for her to start worrying about me and talking to Sevee or her parents.
"I'm okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." I apologized, "Let's just go back now. Your dad should be here any minute."
"But you were…"
"Just forget it. Let's go."
But as I grabbed her hand, she suddenly tensed up, her eyes going wide again. It was like she was seeing something. I immediately tried to close the door within my mind with everything that had been happening, but feeling like I was failing, I let her go.
Seraphina shook her head, reaching up to hold the cross she wore tightly.
"What's going on, Noah? Where did those memories come from? They weren't yours." she breathed.
"Please, just forget you ever saw that. It's just been a weird few days, okay?" I begged.
I admit that I had no idea of what she'd seen, but I still hoped that it wasn't anything related to what Noel Renaldi had shown me. That could be too much for her fragile mind.
"Please Noah, won't you let me help you? Something's happening to you. I can feel it." Seraphina insisted as she moved closer to me.
"There's nothing happening to me. I'm fine." I assured her.
I was shocked when she leaned up and gently kissed my cheek.
"Whether it is or isn't, please don't push me away Noah. If you need help, you can always tell me. I'm always here for you."
I halfway wondered if this was why our family feared my feelings so much. Maybe in her fragile state, Seraphina returned them to an extent, which was bad for both of us. But I did my best to keep my word to my father.
"I get it, and I promise I'll talk to you if I need to, but I'm fine now," I told her.
"Okay," Seraphina reluctantly agreed, "But just remember that no matter what, you're still Noah, and I love you just the way you are."