It was the first day of my 10th grade. I was leisurely walking around the campus when someone bumped into me. I instantly froze at the sight of a cute boy in front of me. He was apologizing to me for his carelessness but my body had completely forgotten that I have give him a reply. I was just standing there looking at him, he was sweating, his silky black hair was wet and stuck to his forehead, I suddenly had a very bad urge to touch this boy in front of me. I couldn't take my eyes off him. I have known for a while now that I am gay but no male has attracted me the way he does. Maybe this is just a phase or an infatuation or lust or maybe love at first sight. Just the thought of loving him made me go weak on my knees. My heart was pounding so loudly that I was wondering if he could hear it go lub-dub lub-dub. I was trying my best to look away from him but his brown eyes had some spell on me that I couldn't take my eyes off him. I was brought back to my senses when he waved his hand in front of me.
"What is your name?" I questioned him
"I am Rohit", he said with a perfect smile. His voice was very soothing to my ears.
"Are you a new admission here?"
"Yes for 8th grade"
"Nice I am Akash of 10th grade. In case you need any help in the future don't hesitate to approach me", I said.
I wanted to see him again and again and again.
I, Akash who has been an iceberg forever to everyone except for my parents and best friends was melting in front of Rohit. I who have never given a slight smile to strangers was completely smiling eye-to-eye since the moment I saw him. What are you doing to me Rohit? He was introducing a new side of me to myself. He extended his hand for a handshake and I accept it though my hands were terribly shaking. His touch made me feel an electric current flow through my vessels, butterflies in my stomach, and a sensation of unknown warmth engulfing me. A wave of emptiness took over me as he withdrew his hand. I forced a smile to hide my longing to hold that soft hands again.
I started to walk behind him involuntarily for some reason I wanted to keep him in my sight always. I like him. I like this guy Rohit.
After dropping Rohit to his class I was sitting on the ground thinking about him and only him.
"What's wrong?", my friend asked me pulling me forcefully out of my dreams.
"Huh?", I said
"Who is that guy? You were all smiling with him"
"He is Rohit"
"And"
"He is MINE", I said stressing the last part
It is been a few months since I met Rohit. I don't miss a chance to look at him. He has come to me when he needed some help with assignments. I started studying hard so that whenever he asks me doubt I should be able to help him. These days my feelings towards him just went on growing. My friends called me a lovesick but I don't care the only one who I care about now is only Rohit.
My friends were asking me to confess my feelings to him but I was scared I don't want to mess up anything and I wasn't ready to risk my friendship with him.
One day he came running to me. He came in search of me to my neighborhood, that too in spite of this rain, I was more than happiest now. He stood in front of me his chest falling up and down while he was panting, droplets of sweat dripping down his forehead, he was completely drenched making his white T-shirt a see-through and this completed appearance of him was breathtaking, I only know how I am controlling myself from jumping on him right now, right here.
"Akash I need your help", he said
"Tell me", I said nonchalantly
"Can you take me to Koramangala?"
"Why?"
"I need to buy sports shoes. I have a match this evening",
"At what time?",
"4 o'clock", he said. There were only 3 hours more for his match.
"Okay come let's go", I said to him.
He smiled at me, held my hand, and started running towards the bus stop. We got on the first bus to Koramangala. It was very crowded so I secured Rohit in between my hands. He held my shirt for support. We traveled the whole ride in silence. I couldn't any longer handle this. I wanted to shout out loud that I like Rohit and I want him to be my boyfriend.
We then completed his shopping as fast as possible and hurried back to the ground where his match was taking place. We were standing in front of the entrance.
"Thank you", he said
"You are welcome. All the best do well.", I said
"Come in and watch me play"
"Sure"
"What is wrong with you? You are acting weird since we met today", he said. I know he is mentioning about my silence. I was silent with him today unlike how I always keep talking nonstop with him. I didn't want to speak because I didn't want to spill the beans and spoil my bond with him.
"Nothing"
"AKASH", he can be demanding at times
"I like you Rohit in a romantic way. I fell for you the moment I saw you. When you are near me I can't resist myself. I have this urge to hold you, hug you, pat your head, and many more. It is tough to just be friends with you Rohit. Would you be my boyfriend?", I asked him.
He was dumbstruck and blinked continuously. The silence was killing me right after a solid minute he just turned around and went inside even without sparing a glance at me. I know this is the end of everything. This was something that I had always been scared of. I ruined my bond with him. I walked inside and sat on the corner of the ground lifelessly. This will be the last match and the last time I see him. After this match, I am never going to trouble him and I will just disappear from his life. This hurts a lot, even the thought of being far from him feels like being stabbed directly to my heart. This is going to be alright. I will move on. I am strong. Akash you are strong this is not going to affect you.
Rohit's team won the match and I walked to a side of the ground. I stared at the sand, my vision was getting blurred with tears.
"Akash", I heard Rohit's voice.
This is just my imagination but still, it feels so real. That voice made me release a sob. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turn around just to see my dream boy standing there. I was frozen thinking if this is real or am I just hallucinating.
"I won the match", he said and threw himself on me while I stumbled a little due to his sudden weight on me.
His hands were wrapped around my neck. I was scared to even hold him. Tears flowed from my eyes.
"This is real. I am real. You aren't dreaming", he whispered in my ears.
I slowly placed my hand on his back. I could feel his hands moving up and down my neck.
"I have never liked men ever in my life", he said.
I guess I know what will happen next. He is trying to reject me without hurting me. I don't have any strength to hear those words from his mouth. I try to pull myself from his hold.
"Wait", he said and held me tightly, "But I want to give you a chance, give us a chance. Let's try being boyfriends"
"Don't force... yourself on me... I'm fine... I hope you... find the girl you would like", I said with great difficulty. Each word I uttered was just a dragger direct to my heart.
"What if I say I also like you?"
"WHAT?"
"You have always been special to me Akash. Your sudden confession took me by surprise that is why I was silent. I know now that I want to try being with you. Let's us give it a try", he said and released me from his hold.
My legs lost their strength and I fell to my knees. Tears flowed down my eyes uncontrollably. This was the best day of my life. He kneeled down in front of me and hugged me. My face was pressed to his chest, my tears making his T-shirt damp and my hands gripping his T-shirt tightly. He kissed my forehead and said, "Crybaby", with a chuckle.
This was just like a dream, I was in the arms of the boy I have dreamt of. Rohit is my boyfriend now. I will never let him go.