Content Warning: This chapter contains scenes that some viewers may find disturbing or triggering; it includes topics of death. Reader's discretion is advised.
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Shortly after, I found myself standing in the middle of a vast ocean with lotuses and daffodils of different sizes floating atop the glittering water. I am now back at my adult self before that happened. I see a familiar yet unfamiliar ginormous castle made of reflective glass at a distance. I gulp before I start walking towards its gigantic doors. It slowly opens when I reach the front, so I just enter the castle.
"Mariana?" I call her name, and a naked figure emerges from atop the stairs.
Just like the way I pictured her to be: a redhead with a Coca-Cola body with non-existent nipples and body hair — just like a barbie doll. My eyes follow her as she walks down the stairs, her hair swaying with the movement of her waist.
"You… this… looks like Elsa's castle," I say.
"Really? I think so too. You were really into Frozen when you were a kid, and I think that's why," she comments.
"That's why what?" I said, asking for her to elaborate.
She did not answer my question. Instead, she opens her hands wide and shows her toothpaste commercial-worthy smile. "Welcome to my humble abode."
"I'm dead, right? I died." I went straight to the point. "Is this what… a judgment hall or something? The first person I met was Nana, are you supposed to be the second one? Like in the Five People You Meet In Heaven?" I ask. "Is that even real? Kudos to Paulo Coello, then."
She laughs. "Silly, no."
"Then… then where am I? What is this place?"
She looks away and pretends to busy herself observing her castle. "I don't know either, I swear. All I know is one day, this castle appeared in front of me, and as if possessed, I just accepted this as my home."
With nothing to say, I just bobbed my head.
She smiles. "I may not have created this world, but I created the world you were in. Not Earth, but the one you were in just now." She starts pacing the empty floor. "I am Kismet, the Creator of All, the God of Gods. And you, you are this Creator's creator. This place —" She spreads her arms wide, "—is the one you sketched as a kid. You made this. You made me."
"I… what? I don't understand."
"I was a figment of your imagination when you were a kid; I played with you. I jumped from place to place avoiding lavas. I rode the broomstick with you as you aim for the moon," she reminisces. "I was there your whole childhood. And as you grew older, you never forgot about me. You made me join you in your journey — your teenage life until adulthood. I was there; I was there. I listened. You wrote to me. You talked to me. You didn't see me, but I was there. With you. But then you died… and even then, you thought of me… I was the last thing you thought of… I was there, but I couldn't do anything. I couldn't touch you; I couldn't bring myself to stop it; I couldn't warn anyone. After all, I was but a figment of imagination." I watch her talk as her face changes expressions as if she's a mad scientist not getting the result she wanted.
"I was… after you died, I woke up in this place; built everything the way you imagined. You were right, oh, how nice is it to stay in this place… it's a dream come true indeed… but, no. You're not with me. You're not here, so I did what I had to. And for you to be here, I needed to make a world for you to live in. Thankfully, you already have one built — the one you created for the story you were doing! I made what you've envisioned; I made Imaginan! Welcome! To Imaginan!"
… "What?" I ask, dumbfounded. "What's… how?... eh?" My brain is having a hard time processing what she said.
'She's crazier than the prince.'
"Welcome to Imaginan," she repeats. She spreads her arms wide and flashes me that toothy smile once again.
I shook my head. "I-I really don't… is this a fucking Truman Show? Am I in a show—is this a prank? Yari Ka?" [1]
"No."
I shook my head again. "So, you're telling me you built this world?"
"No! You built this world."
"But I didn– okay… let's just say I built it. What did you build?"
"That world. The world where you were just in earlier. The mortal realm. I built it. You built the Immortal Realm… I built it too, but without you, there's no me who'd build it, so… yeah… I mean… you built both worlds."
I put my fingers in my temples, trying to understand what she had just said. After a while, I ask, "So, I'm here because…."
"Because you live here now. Not here, here, but there —" she points her hand at the door, indicating where I came from.
I knitted my brows. "And why is that?"
"Because I took you from that place 'cause I know you don't want to be there 'cause you don't believe in them," she answers vaguely.
"Excuse—what?" I feel my stomach churn as I'm having a bad feeling about all this.
"I took your soul and put it to the world you love," she says as if it's nothing important.
"What?! What did—are you saying that you took my soul — that is on its way to heaven — and threw it in there? In that medieval bullshit kind of place where I almost died right after I woke up?! I—you…"
She smiles widely. "Yes! Now you get what I was trying to say. It's a good thing that you haven't reached that place yet, or you'll be devastated," she comments, still oblivious to what I was feeling.
"Bullshit! Take me back!" I scream at her as I start to pace back and forth, formulating a plan on how to go back to heaven.
"But you don't believe in Him and you love this place… you love me…."
"No. Bring me back. Bring me back, now!"
"But if I send you back, then you'll live somewhere you don't wanna live," she reasons.
"But I don't wanna live here. Bring me back, bring me back now!"
Her smile drops. She becomes hysterical and keeps talking to herself, asking where it went wrong and how it turned out this way. Seeing an opportunity to get out of her place, I didn't waste time and ran out of the castle. However, I caught her attention; a gust of wind passed me, and the door slammed in my face.
"Kyaah!" I scream. "Santa Maria… Ave Maria… Diyos ko…" I start praying desperately as I try to pry open the door.
Her eyes turn bloodshot, and her hair starts to float midair.
"Lumayo ka demonyo!" I blurt out and make a sign of the Cross. [2]
"What are you doing? Who are you?! What did you do to my Ari? Ari doesn't want that! Ari doesn't believe in that!" She screams, and in a matter of seconds, she speeds to me and cocks her head left and right as she examines me.
I close my eyes shut as I chant Our Father, but I am abruptly stopped as she slammed her fist on the door next to my head. "Ari hates praying. Ari doesn't do that! What are you doing to my Ari? Who are you!"
"Stop, please, stop… What do you want? I'll do whatever you want, so please… I wanna go home…." I plead and beg her to release me.
"I am Mariana!" she frustratingly shouts. "You cried on my shoulders just a while ago!"
"You're a monster! You're derailed!" Tears start to trickle down my face once again. "Please… let me go… let me go…."
She observes me as I bawl my eyes out, trembling and on alert if she ever tries to do anything. She sighed, and her eyes went back to normal. She walks back to give us space, and I slump down the floor. "You can't." Pity is evident in her voice. "What I did was… I thought you wanted this. I thought I knew you, but it turns out I didn't… sorry… but, I can't. Really. I'm telling the truth."
"Let me go. I wanna go back..." I plead once more.
"Please don't cry. It pains me to see you cry." She walks towards me, but I push myself more against the door, so she stops. "You won't be able to go back. Your soul has already reincarnated, and the only way to go back is for you to die again, and I'm not even sure if you'll be able to go back since you're in a different universe now. God doesn't exist here; there's only Kismet. There's no heaven here, just a spirit world."
"Why… Why me? Why me?" I ask repeatedly.
"I'll help you. I'll do everything I can to give you the life you want. I'll make you a queen, or an empress, a saintess even! Just—just don't leave me. I did this for you. I want you to — I did this for you. Please?" She tried approaching me again; this time, I let her.
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[1] Author's Note: Yari Ka is a Filipino television show where people are getting pranked in one of its segments.
[2] Translation: "Get away from me, you demon!"