The number of times I had died had yet to surpass the paramount to the amount of my annoyance having to deal with Nichen.
The explosion had shaken the ground, causing panic among the gathered people. They started running, and most of them were pushing others to get ahead and save themselves.
I would have run too. But not to save myself.
I was going to grab Winter and Fifi and find the exit. But, Nichen chose that moment to pull me out of the scene, sending me to the middle of some deserted land.
The ground looked dry. It had cracks in the middle. Tiny plants tried to grow but died midway with the lack of water to splurge them with their much-needed elements for growth.
Squinting at the hurtful ray of sunshine, I gave the place a look around, frowning before throwing my hands in the air.
Really, Nichen? Aren't you tired of doing this? You keep on appearing at unexpected moments. Are you sure you're actually from Nirvana?"
There was no response.
"Tch," I kicked at the small rock that littered beside my foot. It flew several feet away from where I was standing.
In a place where the dominant color was the same as the ground, brownish, one wouldn't be missing out on noticing the green tree planted from afar.
Its leaves were somehow sparkling like they were made of glass.
Knitting my brows together, I scoffed, failing to identify what was happening.
"What kind of trick are you trying to pull now, Nichen? Huh? Do you think this is funny?"
While I was fuming, the tree I was trying to figure out the significance of burst into flames. What made it fascinating to look at was because it was burning, alright, but the tree looked fine. It wasn't turning into ashes.
In fact, the leaves that had a crystal texture shined even more.
At this point, I became uncertain about how to proceed.
"Elijah," a voice called it.
I stared at the tree, hearing the voice coming from it loud and clear. Though it sounded like a whisper, its impact made my skin crawl.
A strange sensation spread through my body. Looking at my hands, I realized I was bathed in a golden aura.
"Whoa," I murmured. "Nichen?"
There was no response.
"Elijah."
"Um," I squinted at the still blazing tree. It was quite a sight to behold in the middle of nowhere. "I hear you."
The voice didn't sound like Nichen. But the authority in it prohibited me from asking who I was talking to.
"Elijah Eviya, have you been serving Nirvana for its better good?"
"I—what?"
"Your heart is pure. I commend you for that," there was a pause.
Someone once told me that everything coming after the 'but' could be a warning or a threat.
In my situation, I'm assuming it's a little bit of both.
Yet, who knows? I could be wrong.
"But I must tell you that everything you do will affect your stand with Nirvana."
"Meaning?"
The flames swooshed to the right, distracting me for a minute.
"In every choice you make, the decisions you act upon will determine the final judgment whether you enter Nirvana or not."
"What?!"
I was having a hard time processing this.
"You have led a good life. But not enough to secure a place in Nirvana. You have been given this chance to make up for it. Still, your fate is in your hands."
"Whoa," I scoffed. "Back up a minute. Are you saying I was rejected to enter at the beginning?"
"Not entirely."
"Not entirely?!"
I watched the flames sway to the left as if an invisible wind blew it.
"As I've said, you have lived a good life. You are a good person with a good heart. But something was lacking."
I scoffed.
"Lacking in what exactly?"
"Actions," the flames stopped swaying and kept still, finally halting from playing with my vision. "You have the righteous desire to help people you met but didn't do it. Why? Because you think you're incapable. But Elijah, you missed the whole point of what we call help."
"Oh yeah? Enlighten me then."
"What's your purpose of reaching out to someone you see struggling to get on their knees after a nasty fall?"
"Ease their struggle. What else?"
"Mhm."
I waited for what else he had to say.
"What would make you hesitate to lend a hand if you see someone in the same situation?"
I don't know if this was a trick question or a plain Q and A.
"My help might not be welcomed."
"You do not know that unless you do it."
I cleared my throat.
"Does that make me a bad person then?"
"Not exactly. But you see my point?"
Pursing my lips, I nodded. This chastisement made me feel guilty down to my very core.
Memories of being in the same situation flashed in my head. There were too many instances when I had wanted to reach out and lend a hand.
An old man tried to get on the bus but had difficulty reaching for the door handle as leverage. I watched him struggle until someone else helped him.
He thanked the youngster but also muttered curses under his breath. It made me think he was actually an ingrate.
"You are anxious about how people will perceive you," the voice expressed. "You think carefully before you act, afraid that society will judge you. But, Elijah, whether or not you act on your desire to help, people will have something to say. The person receiving help might end up mad at you for interfering. But that wasn't what mattered. The thing is, you acted on what you know is right."
"Tch," I pocketed my hands, playing with a lone pebble close to my shoes. "Not every righteous desire should be acted upon. If life thought me anything, I'd rather mind my business than poke my nose in someone else's. You know?"
"And that became your flaw."
"Sheesh, now what are you trying to insinuate?"
"Use this chance to improve on your flaw. Make it your strength and prove yourself worthy to enter Nirvana."
"Don't you have like specific rules about that? I mean, you want me to enter Nirvana, don't you? Else, you wouldn't have gone to such trouble if it wasn't the case."
"The laws never changed, Elijah. But I must make something clear."
"Go ahead."
"Being Nirvana's favorite meant more than having access to its energy and battling enemy monsters," there was a pause.
I narrowed my gaze at the tree. It was still on fire, and yet, nothing was ever burned.
"Being Nirvana's favorite also meant you must live according to its special regulations."
"Special regulations?"
"You must keep your purity until the very end. Unless…"
"Unless what?"
"Unless you legally bind yourself with your chosen person in matrimony. Hence, you're not to lose your virginity with anyone under any condition before marriage."