My name was Sweet Tooth.
The terrified scum on the battlefield gave me that name. How did I earn such a name you ask? I have no idea. Usually, people who encountered me would just die. I doubt they could speak with their entrails trailing all over the battlefield.
An assassin is only successful if they are unknown. I was rather miffed when I heard about it. My commander made fun of me for it and confiscated my treasures for a week. (How cruel of him; what if I was a hypoglycemic who needed sugar?)
As for the name Sweet Tooth, it's because I can't live without sweets.
Is it a bad thing that I like eating candy while beheading them? I get two kinds of wonderful rushes then. They didn't have to go as far as to shame me for it. ( ; - ; )
Commander says I am a lunatic from the background. What a sad life I have to have such a superior who badmouths me wrongly.
It's not my fault I like killing. Also, I am quite a fair person despite my, ahem, occupation. Since I kill, I am prepared to be killed too, for your kind information.
Personally, I'd prefer to be eaten by a tiger. Just thinking about it gives me shivers. Ahaha, imagine being in a fair fight against a beast much stronger than you and running for your life to no avail and feeling their claws dig into your flesh and their teeth sinking into your throat. Oh wow! Oh wow!
And then! And then bleeding out and having your soul stripped bit by bit from your bones all to fill the belly of such a beautiful beast! Aaah! Sorry, I was feeling the rush again from such a lovely fantasy.
Unfortunately, my fantasies would never come true. It was unfortunate because I am much faster than a tiger. Stronger too I suppose. I'd outrun the tiger easily and then it wouldn't be a fair fight anymore so it wouldn't be as nice as my fantasy to just serve myself on a silver platter to the tigers in the wild. You need to follow rules, you know? It's survival of the fittest, babe! Law of the Jungle!
So it was a bright and sunny day and I was having fun juggling the heavy heads of three soldiers which was proving to be quite difficult. That's because the heads don't have a stable centre and they keep flopping about due to the uneven weight distribution. Okay, so I was amusing myself learning how to juggle and my commander comes in to interrupt me.
He had a face void of expression but I really find it funny to do things that twists that stoic face of his. One of my bigger accomplishments was to make his moustache fly upwards when he was in a fit of what you call rage.
He was a nice commander to everyone, definitely. One of the only people who could talk to me while looking me in the eye. No, I do not count the people whose eyes I have gouged out because they looked at me. I don't like being looked at weird just because I was doing something that came naturally to me.
So today, he came to my playground all somber and stiff.
Perfect.
I definitely want to flip that moustache again to break my record.
I aligned the heads in a row and popped a piece of sugar into my mouth waiting for him to say something.
"Well, Commander?"
"You need to die."
"Eh?"