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The Marvelous Ventures of Lapulapu

Writersoul
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Synopsis
Come along with the random ventures of Lapulapu and his buddies in the great Austronesian archipelago.
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Chapter 1 - 1

Men aspired to be explorers, discovering new shores and lands. Ships sailed the seas, capturing the winds with their enormous sails. New animals, plants, lands, trade routes, and even civilizations have been discovered. In the Age of Exploration, humans have just started to realize that there is a great world beyond the horizon. The only limit was how far their ships could take them.

An even more stirring incident happened. Mysterious objects fell from the sky everywhere around the world. The people are amazed and shocked by this unknown phenomenon. Others marveled at the falling books, technology, and other marvelous inventions of humans from the future. But others cry in horror as cars, airplanes, oil tanks, buildings, and other destructive and massive objects came crashing down on their lands.

Some called it a curse from their gods, a warning that they are angry because humans have been reluctant in being kind to nature and spirits. All the while, others saw this opportunity to mine knowledge from these objects, learned how to use them, and even recreate them. The Age of Exploration has been substantially accelerated at a faster pace.

And everyone mysteriously spoke only one language, and that is English.

"But why English though?" a topless imbecile asks.

Stop it. Don't interrupt my job as the narrator.

"I mean, there are plenty of languages to choose from. Chinese, Spanish, and even the sexy-sounding French. Maybe Cebuano since that's my mother tongue. And oh, I know! Filipino—the national language of the main character of this story: Me, the great and mighty Lapulapu!"

Shut up, there's a reason for that, you half-wit!

"Oh, you're supposed to be the smarter one, huh? Let me hear the reason why this story is in English, then!"

First of all, this story is in English because it is the decided International Language! This makes the book readable for a large number of readers!

"If it is a matter of decision, then why not decide to use French? Think about it, if every boy in this world knew how to speak French, then they wouldn't have trouble making out with girls."

What? What are you talking about?

"We know how dumb girls are," he smirks. "just hearing a guy speak French makes them want to pull down their panti—"

Hold it right there! You wanna get this book banned for sexism?! I agree that it's impressive that you can speak French but not to the point that every girl will do that explicit... act! I don't know about you but I've met honorable and high-quality women that would never pull down their undergarments just because a guy they met can speak French!

"Okay, okay, chill... I was just sayin', man."

Are you willing to let me continue now?

"Of course, of course, go for it."

*Sigh* Well, then, let's start the story—

"I feel bad as an English-speaking Filipino."

SHUT UP!!!

"Lapu!" his lady friend calls out. "What are you doing here? Don't be too excited, you'll have screentime soon."

"But this is a novel," he reasons. "Screen where?"

Just get him out of here, Liangyu!

"I apologize for that, Mr. Narrator," she bows, pulling that moron out of this page.

Alright, he's gone now. Where was I? Ah, yes.

Every single person in the world now only knows one language—that is English. Books, poetry, and records written in other languages have become incomprehensible.

"I call for prescriptivism in this novel!" the pinhead barges in the page again!

"I said, GET OVER HERE!!!" Liangyu roars, hitting him out cold.

The sound of his head full of air being bonked is so satisfying. I hope he doesn't wake up. Anyway, I think it's safe to continue with my narration now. Let's just get to the story. I'll skip a few explanations but I'm gonna explain them on the way. Here it goes.

*Clears throat*

To sum it up, the cultures of the world have been stirred down to their roots. They have changed along with the new language they can speak.

One day, a beautiful and strong Chinese lady that loves poetry, struggles in remembering the meaning of the scribbles in her scrolls. In her room beside the window, she's staring at the scrolls on her table for hours, desperately trying to remember.

Her cheongsam—a decorated clothing suitable for an upper-class woman like her is made out of the finest silk in China. Her lustrous black hair is done in a low ponytail, tied loosely so that her hair framed the face on both sides and showed off the forehead.

"What was that again?" she asks herself, squeezing her mind. "I can't remember! Damn it! Ugh, now I'm cursing in this language. How many years was it? It has been a decade since then. Ugh... I give up!"

"Liangyu," knocks someone behind her door. "Your suitor is coming, get ready."

"Just a minute, Father," she answers.

She gave up deciphering the scrolls and rests her head on the table. Sighing deep, she feels weak all over her body. Even her heart starts to feel heavy.

"Everything is changing now but Father doesn't want to lose our tradition. So, he figured out that if I marry another noble that adheres strictly to tradition, it will be preserved." She frowns in disgust remembering the face of her suitor. "But I don't wanna marry that guy. He's so fat that no horse can give him a ride, he smells like sweat that the sea breeze is fresh morning air, and his chin looks like rice terraces." She sighs again. "I wish I don't have to marry. If I have to, he must be someone with a free soul, and his heart must be like a sail that lets the wind decide to take him wherever." She sits back, staring at the ceiling. "But let's face it, there's not a single man like that in this whole country. And ugh... this booger has been bothering me for hours!"

She picks her nose, having a hard time reaching deeper. *Creak* Something is on her window. A brown-skinned topless man is squatting on her window and looking carefully at her as she picks her nose.