A splitting headache was the first thing that greeted me in this new life.
I groaned as the pain grew too intense to ignore, and after a couple of seconds of just existing, the headache finally receded and what took its place was unprecedented confusion.
Maybe, there was a bit of fear involved, but it didn't feel like my own.
It took me a while to realize that my head was a blank slate.
I couldn't remember who I am, or what I was doing here.
And where is here exactly?
And what am I?
And who are you?
Well… your guess is as good as mine.
At the very least, I was able to confirm that I had two arms, and I used them to push away the heavy rubble that pressed down on my body.
I could tell my instinct to survive was trained, meaning I was a warrior, or perhaps, a soldier.
The rubble was heavy… very heavy… like super heavy, but I moved it with moderate strength, so I guessed that I must be a very strong person.
That was another clue to uncovering my identity.
However, as soon as the rubble was shifted from atop my body, all my senses became active, all at once.
My hearing was slightly sharper.
My skin was slightly more sensitive.
My eyes could follow the fastest of movements.
And my tongue could taste… iron and dirt?
Pew!
Pew!
Pew!
I could taste the dirt in my mouth, blocking my airway… it would seem that whoever I am, was very fond of eating dirt.
Or maybe someone put it in my mouth?
Was this a murder mystery?
Fuck! A murder mystery as soon as I wake up?
This was becoming bothersome.
The dirt stuck to my throat like glue, and I quickly bent forward, punching myself in the stomach until stale blood mixed with dirt and saliva was expelled.
I knew to do this by instinct, so I had possibly eaten dirt before.
The smell of my own vomit made my head spin in circles.
It was a sickening rosy smell… and that just made everything all that more disturbing.
Basically, this shit didn't make sense, and something told me it was about to get a whole lot more confusing.
---BOOM---
---BOOM---
---BOOM---
I was so focused on myself that I failed to notice the fucking Apocalyptic War happening all around me.
At least with this, I am able to draw a few conclusions.
Maybe, someone had tried to kill me, or maybe I had tried to kill myself by eating dirt, nothing could be ruled out with my memories missing.
The second conclusion I could draw was the fact that my new life would be short-lived because… well, I saw a lot of people fighting and the war seemed like something straight out of a comic book.
I recognized some of them, but how could that be?
Nazis… Batman… The Ray… and that dude that shoots bubbles out of his hands?
Can't remember his name, but he does off quickly in the comics so I didn't think much about it.
DC Comics came to mind to describe my current situation, but that could just be my broken mind trying to delude itself into thinking that I saw something amazing.
What was a comic book anyway?
A question for a later time.
---BOOOM---
---BOOOM---
Explosions rained from the skies like meteorites.
Quite possibly, the things falling from the skies were indeed meteorites.
Explosions destroyed already damaged buildings left and right, and gunshots rained over the battlefield like everyone had infinite bullets.
Superhuman blurs moved from one section of the destroyed terrain to the next, and I subconsciously knew this was not a battle for someone like me.
"Earth X…" I whispered unconsciously, not knowing what that meant, but something was scratching at the back of my mind to get out.
A loud thunder boomed in the red skies above, and I could literally feel the vibrations rushing through my body, almost stopping my powerfully beating heart in the process.
If you had ever felt a lightning storm that just scared the fuck out of you, then imagine that multiplied by ten thousand and you have a vague idea about what it's like on this battlefield.
My mind cleared some more, and I could feel that I was on the verge of remembering everything.
As I brought my hand to my face, it was only then that I realized that my hand was not the only hand in my hand?
Makes sense? NO.
Someone else's fingers were interlocked with my own, but it was just a hand… there was nobody in sight, but just looking at the severed hand brought me endless sadness.
Not anger.
Not absolute rage.
Just sadness… like it was bound to happen at some point.
I identified this feeling as a soldier who was prepared for loss.
Yet, I also felt strangely detached from everything happening around me, leading to the suspicion that this wasn't my body, or possibly, even my world.
The memories were there, just beyond my grasp but I was not sure if I wanted to know.
Feeling the breeze brush against my shoulder, I instantly became aware that my shoulder was pierced by an arrow.
I ripped the arrow from my shoulder and observed as the wound, slowly but surely healed itself… not over exaggeratingly fast, but it could still be traced by the naked eyes.
Obviously, I was something beyond a normal human, but far from a superhero.
"Probably cannon fodder," I mused.
A couple more seconds passed, and I realized I was inside a small crater.
My breathing quickened like I was having a panic attack but I knew it was different.
This was like a pure burst of adrenaline had suddenly faded from my body, reminding me that the calm I previously felt was just a side-effect of whatever this body did before I woke up.
I felt guilt, terror, pain, and anger… my emotions were a jumbled mess, but I also felt disconnected from the emotions, so I just treated everything like it wasn't my business.
I looked up at the skies and realized it was red… of course, I had realized this before but I had not acknowledged it until this very moment.
The gravity of the situation was finally beginning to dawn on me, and there was no rejecting the emotions that came from my own mind.
"This is the end times," I whisper, unable to hear my voice over the sounds of battle raging in the background.
My mind cleared some more, and with it, my memories returned just not the ones I expected.
Suddenly, the war happening all around looked like something I could truly recognize… not like something I could remember, but more like something I had read in a book a long time ago.
---BANG---
---BANG---
---BANG---
The clashes between powerful Beings intensified.
I could literally feed my blood stirring inside my body from miles away.
Each clash generated a shockwave that destroyed more buildings.
The more I became aware of what was actually happening, the more terror gripped my heart.
Green constructs clashed with Yellow constructs in the air.
Flickers of lightning raced about the battlefield.
Beams of green, purple, and yellow energy destroyed buildings.
A boy turned into a beast, and superhumans dashed hundreds of meters in a couple of seconds.
Bombs flew… buildings collapsed… the earth shook… the air stilled… the skies were split apart… darkness covered the lands… and a golden lasso raked enemies out of the skies.
I could recognize it all from my memory, but it was the memory of tv-shows I watched, and the comic books I read.
Green Lantern Corps clashing against Sinestro.
Black Lightning striking enemies, aided by the lightning blurs that I can only guess were Speedforce Speedsters.
The Ray, Starfire, and Captain Atom clashed against each other?
Nightwing, Batman, Robin, and Green Arrow tossed bombs and destroyed Nazi soldiers and Parademons left and right.
Yes… motherfucking Nazi soldiers and Darkseid's favorite minions.
Still, the thing that terrified me the most was witnessing the Omega Beam twist and turn as it chased Superman in the skies above.
I instantly gave up all hopes of life, and just thought about having fun.
Especially, now that I could remember who I am – Axxel Crawford.
In my past life, I was not a hard-core fan of the DC Universe, but I could be considered a Seriously Casual Fan.
What is a Seriously Casual Fan you ask?
We are the guys who read the bio and the abilities in the wiki, skipping over all the comic book origins.
I represent the nerds that look at the fights and apply the physics that could translate them into real-life events.
So, while I could recognize most of the heroes fighting around me, I could not claim to know every detail about them.
---WHOOSH---
However, before I could think any further, a boulder shoots in my direction, and I knew I was about to reduce to mush at any moment.
I crossed my arms, hoping my body could withstand the blow, but something surprising happen in that instant.
The world around me slowed.
The world didn't slow to a crawl, but just enough for me to avoid dying in such an unheroic way.
A single large step later, I was out of the boulder's path, but apparently, my mind could not govern my body as I took another superspeeded step that sent me tumbling across the battlefield.
The world in my eyes slowed and returned to normal at intervals as I fell… I had no idea how to cope with superspeed.
Movies and Comics made it look easy, but two steps and I was already falling on my ass like an amateur.
Apparently, muscle memory didn't do shit without the right mindset.
By the time I came to a stop, my superhero suit was ripped to shreds, so I couldn't even get a hint from the insignia.
What a valuable clue to losing.
But there was one good thing amidst the darkness – I remembered more about who I was.
Axxel Crawford, an all-around normal guy from good old Earth where COVID was the biggest challenge we had ever faced.
Not Aliens, Gods, and Superman… just good old diseases and the question of the Universe – to get vaccinated or not to get vaccinated?
I was a Marine who had witnessed way too many wars, and one day, I just snapped.
Well, that's the story I told everyone but the truth was.
I slept with my commander's wife, and he sent me on missions to die, but I survived and he rewarded me with a dishonorable discharge.
Actually, I had no hatred for my commander because it was ironic that I would be dishonorably discharged when his wife loved me for the dishonorable things I would do to her in bed.
A coincidence I pointed out, and I have been targeted ever since.
After that incident, I drifted about the place, never settling down no matter how amazing it was.
I met a lot of amazing women in my time, but the mental war that followed me back home could not be set aside.
I lived promiscuously, drowning my aches in liquor and women.
Many women… maybe a bit too many women, now that I think about it.
Now, flash forward to the end of my life.
And I died the way every man would dream to – by the hands of my many girlfriends.
I loved girls and I couldn't decide on one so I had them all.
My motto was 'Women I love, Women I crave, and Women will take me to my grave' and what do you know – women did really take me to my grave.
Honestly, there was one girl I truly loved but she never loved me back.
Well, I didn't know if she did because I never had the balls to confess.
My favorite song was Shaggy's- It wasn't me.
So even as my girlfriends beat me to death, I never admitted to cheating on any of them, and even if they knew, they could never be sure.
I hope it tortures them to death.