Quick update, after next week's chapter, I'll be taking a two-week break for the holidays.
I'll see you guys on December 12th at 6-9am PST.
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Sylvia Talgan's POV
"This is nice," I mumbled.
Kaladin just responded with a muffled grunt, and I couldn't help but laugh. "Are you at least feeling better?"
"Ymhmas."
"You know I can't hear you if you keep your mouth covered," I teased.
Kaladin grunted again and pulled his head free of my hand and stomach. His gold eye peered up at me. "You were the one that put me here and is keeping my head locked in place."
"I know that," I snickered. "But hey, can I touch your ears? You've never let me do that before, and I've only—"
"Only what…" Kaladin asked me, his eye narrowed.
Only touched them while you were sleeping…well…unconscious, but that's beside the point.
"It's nothing. Anyways, can I? You never let me," I said, trying to sound as sweet as possible.
"It's not like you have ever asked me," Kaladin said with a sigh. "But sure…if that's what you want. I don't mind."
Oooo! Finally! A step in the right direction! Ahaha!
I bent over a little so that I could whisper in his ear. "Don't worry. I'll be gentle."
His ears flushed pink, and I saw the hair on the back of his neck stand up. I barely managed to suppress a giggle at his reaction, as it was just far too cute. Although Kaladin never told me he loved me back, he never said that he didn't.
But him allowing me to hold him in my lap? That was an achievement in and of itself. He isn't even dying, either! It makes me think…or well…it makes me hope that he does have some kind of feelings for me. Maybe he just needs a bit more time now…to work things out.
I gently ran my hand through his silky black hair and worked my way up to his ears. They were warm and soft to the touch, pretty much the exact opposite of the rest of him. I mean, the rest of his body was just so muscular and—
"Do you plan on doing this forever?" Kaladin squeaked.
I hummed to myself. "Yeah, I think I would like that. Forever sounds lovely, doesn't it?"
"Stupid bloodsucker," Kaladin groaned half-heartedly. Although he was being a bit prickly, I could tell he thoroughly enjoyed my touch. Or so I hoped.
Tch. Wait—control yourself, Sylvia. Now is not the time.
I was about to tug on his ear slightly, not enough to cause him a lot of pain, but enough to make him yelp. But I decided against it. Today was a special day, and I could let this much slide. And I know he didn't mean it…if anything, it might be his way of showing affection…he doesn't really make fun of anyone, as far as I know. So perhaps I'm just that special to him?
Besides, there are far better ways to tease him.
I pulled his ear up, not to cause pain but to bring it closer to my mouth. "So, what will you do now that you are staying here in Luminar, Daddy?"
Kaladin jolted slightly and looked up at me with a slightly annoyed yet adorable face. "I should have fed you to the shark monster in the dungeon when I had the chance."
"Shaarnnkk? What's a sharnk?" I asked, confused.
"Not shank…that's a makeshift knife. Shark. S-H-A-R-K, Shark. It's an animal that roamed the sea on the planet my version of Humanity was from, and it vaguely resembled that stone monster that bit your leg off," Kaladin explained.
"Huh… a sea animal…was it cute?"
Kaladin shook his head while still lying in my lap. "I wouldn't describe an apex predator with rows and rows of razor-sharp teeth as cute…"
"Well, you never know," I said casually. "I think I'd like to know more about your world…someday, that is. Anywho…what are your plans? Are you going to keep going to school?" I asked as I continued to rub his long ears gently.
Kaladin shrugged. "I don't know. Is there any reason for me to continue going? I only went to class to maintain my 'student citizenship and rights.'"
"Of course, there is still a reason to go! Everyone else is going to keep going to class, and just because you are some super genius from another world doesn't mean I'm not learning things…" I grumbled.
"I'd never force you not to go to school, Sylvia. If you want to go, you can go."
"That's not the point…what are you going to do if you don't go to school? Just sit around all day training? And Bowen permitted Mila to come to class with us. She is going to school in a year or so, whenever that program is ready. Wouldn't it be better to expose her to that kind of environment beforehand? And if she is going to go to class with me…why wouldn't you go?" I added.
Kaladin stayed silent for a few moments. Eventually, he rolled over slightly and looked up at me. "Are you just trying to get me to keep going to school with you? You know it's only for a few hours…it's not that big of a deal."
"That's!—partially the reason, yes…" I muttered, slightly embarrassed. "But I stand by what I said! Everyone else is going to class still. Varnir, Lin, Lauren, Sylas, Ren, and Jen is coming back soon! I think you going to class is good for you! And now that your parents are here, they can watch Mila in the mornings, and we can train like we used to before school!"
"Good for me…huh…I suppose I have nothing better to do with my day. Spending more time with everyone and helping Mila adjust to school would be a better use of my life span than sitting around and sucking air," Kaladin said to himself with a yawn.
"Awww…is Daddy tied?" I cooed.
Kaladin grunted and pushed off my legs with his hands. His fingers dug into my legs, and I let out a small yelp of surprise. After that, Kaladin just looked down at me with a slightly annoyed yet confused look, his face slightly flushed.
"Why did you make that noise…"
I shot up from the couch and waved my hands in front of my face hoping he would overlook my embarrassment. "I don't know! Why does anyone make any sound by accident!" I shouted while shoving him forward.
Kaladin went along with the shoves. But he looked over his shoulder. "Why and where are you pushing me? It's late…and I'm exhausted…"
"I know that!" I shot back. "We are going to sleep!"
"Uh…we?"
"Yeah, we! I just know you let that vixen sneak into your bed! You probably didn't even tell her to get out after your conversation, didn't you!"
Of course, she did! I left when everyone was going to bed! And there was no way for them to have a private conversation unless she went to his room! I sniffed out those details without him even needing to tell me.
Kaladin faced forward. His silence was all that proof I needed.
"Exactly! So are you going to tell me no after I poured my heart out for you tonight, mmmm?!" I asked as I kept pushing him forward.
"Well…no…but I just…you know it's—we have our own rooms and—"
"Shut it! I've been holding back for your sake for months! This is all I'm asking of you," I said seriously. "Besides, this is the first time we have shared a bed."
Kaladin sighed and shrugged his shoulders. Then he looked back at me with a confused look plastered on his dumb face. "Wait…no, it's not. We had one in Curia—"
"That doesn't count."
"Oh…okay…" Kaladin muttered, turning to face the door. "At least my bed is pretty big. We can—"
"That's not going to save you from me."
—
Kaladin Shadowheart's POV
"Ah, good morning, Kaladin, Sylvia," Ms. Taurus said with a kind smile.
"Good morning, Ms. Taurus," Sylvia responded.
I responded with a friendly wave and nod of my head. "Good morning, ma'am."
She frowned slightly. "You know it's been almost a year since we've known each other, you two. Don't you think you are being too formal with me? You are more than welcome to call me by my first name in private."
I looked over at Sylvia and her one blue eye locked onto me. We didn't need to say a word to each other because we had most likely thought the same thing.
I have no idea what Ms. Taurus's first name is. And it appears Sylvia doesn't know it either.
Ms. Taurus giggled to herself. "Oh my, you two don't even know my name, do you?"
Sylvia and I exchanged an awkward look, and I just shrugged helplessly. She had never introduced herself using her first name, nor had her name come up in conversation, as far as I remember. Besides…there was something…odd…about calling her by her first name.
Why I felt that way, I wasn't sure. I had no problems calling Bowen by his first name. Sometimes I had to stop myself from doing it in public. Was that because I saw Bowen as a friend and his wife as well…his wife? Ms. Taurus had always been kind to me, and she did help Sylvia with Mila during my… absence. I just felt like there was a knee-high wall between us that I felt no need to cross.
"Jessica, please call me Jessica," she said softly while extending a hand.
Sylvia wasted no time in accepting the handshake. "If that's what you want, Jessica."
I just nodded along to give my confirmation. I peered into the mansion behind Ms. Taurus and couldn't help but notice a distinct lack of people. Of course, Sylvia and I had eaten breakfast together, so it was no surprise that we missed it.
"Where is everyone?" I asked her.
Ms. Taurus brought a finger to her chin with a thoughtful look. "Well, Bowen is working and said he would be back for lunch. Your family is scattered around doing various things. I believe I saw Mila going into the study a little after breakfast…"
"I should go check on her…"
I felt like these last three days, I had been neglecting Mila. I'm sure she had many questions but just hasn't had the time to ask me anything. I need to cut out a day here soon to spend some time with her.
Maybe shopping…I do need clothes…maybe shopping with everyone? That could be fun.
"Oh, Jessica, just one quick thing," Sylvia said.
I stopped walking down the hall and turned around to see Ms. Taurus's jaw drop as if it had been dislocated. Sylvia had taken off her mask and just smiled.
Sylvia decided to wear her mask as we walked across campus, but I didn't ask her what her plans were. It appeared she planned to casually drop bombs on people with her appearance. I suppose surprise is one way to go about things…
I'll let her sort this out herself. I don't think Ms. Taurus would suddenly get violent since she is pregnant with her second child. And she is a kind woman who took care of Mila and Sylvia.
I made my way through the mansion in peace. I…felt a whole better today. I honestly haven't felt this good in days…maybe even months. I had no idea that it would feel so liberating to tell somebody about my past.
And to have them accept me.
I don't think that means I should tell everyone about who I used to be. Sylvia might be an exceptional case considering what we have been through together. It also helped that we shared a common goal of hiding our pasts…I had never really seen it that way before. She was right when she said I was trying to outrun my past and that it was too fast…maybe she was right when she told the two of us just aren't meant to outrun it after all.
Then there are uh…her…um…feelings.
Love…love…what does it mean to love somebody? Do I love Sylvia?
When I asked myself those questions from Bowen, Sylvia's name popped into my head first. And I answered all of them in a similar fashion to Bowen…
Did I want Sylvia to end up with another man? No.
Do I want to make Sylvia happy? Yes.
I was afraid when I came to that conclusion. Because if I did love Sylvia and she loved me back, that meant she loved the version of me I was portraying…or, well…the version of me that I thought I was showing. Because she assured me I was who I was.
Maybe I wasn't lying to them… perhaps this is just who I am? I…don't know…
I was so worried that if I told her about my past, she would never look at me the same. That everything we had been through together and the time we had spent would fizzle into nothingness. Not only that…if Sylvia were to leave, that would also hurt Mila, and I couldn't allow that.
But more importantly, for my own selfish desire, I didn't want to be hurt either. I hadn't realized that was the case until last night. I felt like I was cornered in my own mind, and instead of running away like I used to, I jumped off the ledge.
How long had I been like that for? Days? Weeks? Months? Maybe even years? My entire life?
And it was a risk. A risk that would have hurt me and those around me, or so I thought. I didn't end up falling into the abyss because Sylvia caught my hand and hoisted me back up. She listened to everything I had to say and gave me the response I wanted…no, that I needed to hear the most. And I felt deep down that she meant every word she said.
She had accepted me for who I was and who I am. I can't even begin to put into words how much that meant to me.
So with all that said and done. Does that mean I loved Sylvia? When do those feelings start to make sense to me? How do I understand those feelings? Can someone like me fully understand what it means to love someone?
Do I…do I need just to experience it? Throw myself off the ledge again and hope that I stick the landing? Kind of like what Padraic said. Is this how people usually do things…
What an awful way to go about life…why are these things so complicated?
Sigh.
Perhaps I'm still a bit more stressed than I thought. I definitely feel better, but…maybe I should have slept in today. It was nice just laying in bed for a change. But, uh…it was a bit awkward with Sylvia clinging to me. That may take some more getting used to.
Then again…I didn't hate it…maybe I even liked it…huh…
"No, no, that's not right, little one. That's not how you spell that word," a familiar voice said softly.
What?!
I had auto-piloted my way toward the study. The door was slightly ajar, and I peeked into the room through a crack. I felt a headache coming on.
"What! I don't get it!" whined Mila.
"But you do," Grandpa said gently while patting her on the head. "You just got similar words confused. That's it. I put those words in there to try and challenge you, so it's okay if you missed them."
This is…impossible! Inconceivable! It's wrong on every level!
"Now, Dallin, my boy, that's not right either. You also had it right the first time around. Sometimes it's best to trust yourself," Grandpa said, switching to Elvish.
I can not believe my eyes. Grandpa is tutoring Mila and Dallin…and he is doing it in a nice way…supporting them and being kind. I feel cheated. Grandpa was never like this when he taught Cerila, Padraic, or me…maybe this is all just one wild dream. Yeah…that has to be it.
Sniffff.
Oh, it seems Mila caught my scent.
"Daddy!" Mila shouted as she jumped down from her chair and rushed to the door.
I opened the door fully to greet her. She tossed herself at me, and I had to lunge forward to scoop her up. She let out a small giggle when I grabbed her.
"Mila, you have to be careful. What if I didn't catch—Mila? Mila, don't!?" I yelled in surprise.
She snapped her head back, and her big blue swirling eyes went wide with shock. She looked taken aback at my sudden outburst, but she was squishing her face till it turned red, like she was constipated and was about to let it all loose in a single blow.
Saying I was worried was putting it lightly.
"Daddy?! Why are you yelling?! Did I do something wrong?!" Mila asked me weakly.
I put her down and patted her on her head. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to yell. You just surprised me, that's all," I said softly. "But Mila, what were you doing with your face? Do you need to go to the bathroom?"
Mila's face went red, and she shook her head side to side. "No! I don't! I was making a funny face!"
Funny…face? I mean, she is being adorable right now, but I wouldn't classify that previous facial expression as "funny."
"And why were you doing that, Mila?" I asked her carefully.
Mila puffed her cheeks out at me, but her tail was swaying behind her, and her ears twitched just barely. "Grandma said you were sad…so I tried to make you not sad…" she muttered under her breath while turning away from me.
Oh…that's a Sylvia move right here. She is just so adorable. But sad? I—I guess I may have appeared to be in a bit of a rut, huh?
I snatched Mila up into a hug, and she let out a tiny eep of surprise. "Thank you, Mila. I'm feeling much better today."
She hummed to herself and nodded her head. "Hey, Mila, would you like to go shopping later today? I need to buy myself some new clothes."
She pulled back, a bright smile curved up on her lips. "Shopping?! With you?"
I chuckled. "Yes, shopping with me."
"Yes! Let's go now! Now!" Mila shouted enthusiastically.
"It's still a bit early, Mila. And you are in the middle of your lessons with your Great Grandpa," I said, winking at the old man. He just huffed to himself and glared at the corner of the room.
I stood up and gave Mila a push to sit back down. I made eye contact with Dallin, and although he was smiling before, he quickly averted his eyes. I sighed internally and smiled back at him.
"Dallin, would you like to go shopping today? I can show you around some of the capital if you are interested," I offered.
"Really? You…you would do that?" he asked me, his voice laced with caution.
"Of course. Do you want to go?"
The corner of his lips tugged into a kind smile, and he nodded meekly. I raised an eyebrow at Grandpa. "Would you like to go?"
"Over my dead body," he snapped back instantly.
Dallin instantly frowned and looked over to Grandpa with big golden puppy dog eyes. "But Grandpa…I want to see the capital with you…"
Grandpa grunted like he had been shot, but he quickly recovered by coughing. "I—I'm just a bit too busy, Dallin—"
"No, you're not! You are just going to sleep after this! You even said you were…" Dalin said dejectedly.
"Ah—well…" Grandpa said nervously. "That's just because I'm old, Dallin…I need to sleep more than you."
What the hell is going on? Why is he acting so embarrassed and bashful in front of Dallin and Mila? Who are you, old man, and what have you done with my cranky old grandfather?
Dallin's frown grew, and Grandpa caved. "Fine! Fine…fine…I'll go…gah, I'm going to be so damn tired. I can already feel the pain in my knees," he gripped. The old man shot me an annoyed look as if this whole conversation was somehow my fault.
I left the study session, so I stopped distracting Mila and Dallin, and before, I got needlessly blamed for doing nothing. So I wandered around the mansion a bit and found myself looking out the window into the backyard. I saw my father spinning around outside in the morning air wielding his spear without a shirt on.
Of course, I decided to go and join him.