Thankfully the rest of the night was uneventful. The two of us managed to get some more rest…although I can't say it was very high in quality. Mila ended up crying herself to sleep which appeared to be a frequent trend for her. It was…hard…watching her like this.
It was too damn familiar. And I didn't like it one bit.
I helped her get dressed in one of her spare outfits, an orange dress-like thing that was more of a jumpsuit than anything. It had little wisps of a yellowish-white mixed into the orange, like an orange peel. Gilumune had also graciously supplied me with a few wraps for her, and after a quick tutorial, I could mimic him successfully.
It sort of reminded me of wrapping an injury…which may not be the best of analogies, but it came easily to me. With a little bit of breakfast, dressed to impress with her orange jumpsuit and black headwrap…she looked...like an ordinary girl.
Well… she almost did.
"Are you ready, Mila?" I asked.
She looked up at me and gave me a nervous half-smile. "Yes…"
I picked her up with one swift motion. "Don't worry about it. Bowen is a friend of mine. He's helped me with many things so we can trust him."
Mila held onto me a little tighter. "Okay," she said quickly.
Mmm…that's right. If I can't trust Bowen…then who the hell can I trust?
I mean, he turned around and headed straight back to the capital just from my message alone. I've been here for months and in all honesty, he's kept his end of the promise to a tee. No bounty hunters have hounded Sylvia and me. I mean, even suspicious nobles who I know for a fact are trying to investigate me are finding nothing but a cold trail. My identity has remained a secret.
Honestly…I've done more to out myself than he has.
It was still very early in the morning, and the sun had barely risen, so thankfully, there weren't many people out and about. However, that didn't mean people were not taking notice of me. A Beastmen teacher halted in the middle of her morning run just to watch me with wide eyes. One of the groundskeepers stopped trimming a bush only to give me a concerned look.
The ages of students varied here at Forward University, but everyone was at least thirteen or older. The older students could be at any age, really. I've seen full-grown adults, some in their late twenties and even a handful way later into their lives. Even still…it was… unusual to see such a young child on campus, let alone one being carried by a masked High Elf who has garnered a reputation.
It turns out fighting a War God on your first day of class does that…or maybe befriending the two princesses of the nation is the reason…or just about every damn thing I do.
I took a deep breath in front of Bowen's door and gave Mila a nudge. She flashed me a small smile, and with that, I gave the door a single hard knock.
"Come in," an exhausted voice called out.
I opened the door and made sure to close it behind me. Bowen's wife was standing behind him, and she flashed me a friendly smile with a wave which I returned. Bowen, on the other hand…
Looks awful.
The man appears to have aged years in a short amount of time. Deep black circles covered his face, and his usually pristine beard was in serious need of trimming. His long hair was sticking out in a few spots. I thought I looked awful this morning…but it appears somebody always has it harder.
He looked directly at Mila, but he just let out a tired chuckle and sighed. "Good morning, Voker."
I set Mila into a chair and took the other seat. "Good morning, Headmaster."
"Bowen will do just fine…" he grumbled. "Anyways…I've read your report, and I've begun the investigations here on campus. Her Highness has been informed, and the gears have been oiled. I have nothing else to share with you on that matter."
The gears have been oiled? That is…very…very specific language. Could he be…no, impossible. If he was a reincarnation, coffee would have been a familiar word to him.
"I see. Thank you for the update. Now then…I require your assistance on a different matter," I said while looking at Mila.
"This is the girl you mentioned, yes? She is looking better than you described. Have you cared for her?" Bowen asked with a slight yawn.
"Yes, I have." Mila gave me a nervous look. "Say hi to him, Mila," I said in Beastmen.
Mila looked up at Bowen, and he just let out another small laugh. "Hello, Mila, it's nice to meet you," Bowen said in Beastmen. His wife also let out a small giggle at my surprise.
"Hi…?" Mila mumbled.
"You can speak Beastmen?" I asked.
Bowen straightened himself in his chair and flipped his hand around in the air playfully. "I'll have you know I can speak every known language, even a bit of Dragonkin. How could I be an educator for all if I don't speak the tongue of my students?"
"This is admirable," I told him.
"Well, yes…thank you, Voker," he said with a wave. "But what is it you want me to do for this child, exactly?"
"I was hoping you could help her find a home. Unfortunately, she isn't a citizen of this country, and it appears she has no family left to go to. I can't just drop her off at an orphanage that won't accept her," I explained.
Bowen rubbed his eyes. "Ah… the clause that doesn't allow a foreign child to receive aid. One of the most unfortunate things about that policy…" Bowen trailed off and peered at Mila through his fingers. "I am…uncertain on how to handle this currently. However, given time I may be able to find a suitable solution for her."
"A suitable solution? Is that speak for you are going to do noth—"
I winced immediately as Bowen's jaw clenched. He bit his lip, and I could see the frustration building on his face. "It means it is going to take me some time. The words that I would not help her never left my mouth, so do not—" Bowen stopped himself and let out a tired sigh. "I…apologize," Bowen said earnestly.
"It's okay…I didn't mean it either…" I grumbled.
I was instinctively gripping the arm of my chair enough for a small crack to form on it. I let out a defeated sigh while releasing it only for Mila, who gave us both concerned looks, but said nothing.
"It appears you, and I have had some…long days recently, and the stress has been building. I did not mean to take my frustrations out on you," Bowen said while leaning into his chair. "So, for my mistake and to calm down, I shall be giving you a brief history lesson."
"A history lesson? I don't see what this has to do with Mi—"
"Just let me tell you then. Do you ever wonder why Luminar is the only kingdom that has banned slavery, Voker?" Bowen asked me.
"I have wondered that…yes," I told him.
"I imagine as someone who has been through the depths of despair that is enslavement, you most likely believe the reason is that it's immoral or wrong to enslave another man?" Bowen questioned.
"Partially…I don't believe everyone is inherently righteous or cares about others," I said honestly.
Bowen raised his eyebrows at me and nodded more to himself than me. "An interesting take…I did not expect that from you. Anyway, I did indeed manage to convince the king and queen to ban slavery not because it was the moral decision but because it was the correct decision. My arguments were purely factual in nature, and I did not sway them with my emotions despite many people seeing the horrors of slave soldiers during the wars."
"Slave soldiers, huh? It doesn't surprise me…" I mumbled.
"Indeed, it was truly a horrendous sight. Capture slaves, use them for labor during the planting season or to rebuild forts. Then once they have served their usefulness, give them pointy sticks, point a few hundred or so in the enemy's general direction, and have them charge. Sometimes a few of them would be given some Berserk Caps for the added effect. It was hard to watch after the first few Fireballs, and the stench will never leave my nose for as long as I live," Bowen recounted with a far-off look in his eyes.
Mage fodder, it appears. Waste their mana with bodies. If they ignore the slaves, they can just gang up on an area and cause havoc.
"Tel'an'duth is like that?" I asked.
Bowen scoffed and shrugged. "You look too kindly at this nation, Voker. It wasn't just Tel'an'duth, Brax was doing much the same, and I ordered plenty of those squads myself. I grew to detest myself for what I was a part of. History will smile upon me as a war champion for what I've accomplished. But that feeling won't be mutual, not that I'll care when I'm dead."
Bowen seems angry with himself…I thought this conversion was supposed to relax us…
"No, we banned slavery for more practical reasons. Luminar needed to rebuild a war-torn nation. We needed a boost in population and money along with food. Slaves offer none of these benefits. Slaves must be guarded at all times and then disposed of when they outlive their usefulness. Bodies that aren't burned immediately cause diseases once the ice melts on the corpse pits. More importantly, you can't tax slaves; their cheap labor is as finite as their lives. Not to mention if you don't feed them, labor productivity shoots down even more. Slaves won't reproduce, and even if they manage it, those children will just be slaves, and the cycle will continue. So…what do you do, Voker?" Bowen asked me with a side-eye.
"Free them, give them citizenship and jobs, and they will most likely stay and work the same exact jobs you had them doing in the first place. Sure some of them will reach higher standards, but that only goes to benefit the nation. Freed slaves will grow the population and will make more money in the long run. They will also thank Luminar for saving them and creating a place for them to live. It will create a sense of national pride which will, in turn, bring in escaped slaves from Tel'an'duth and the City-States as they flock to freedom," I rattled off.
Bowen was shaking his head, and a small smile crept on his face. "Exactly… oddly so…" he muttered. "We are very aware there are thousands of escaped slaves here in this kingdom. They live everywhere, even here in the capital. Some farm land in small villages…others run stalls and whatnot. It doesn't really matter what they do as long as they stay here, pay taxes, and have children. Sure we have to return some slaves to their masters, but for every one slave we have to turn in to save face, ten more take their place. Even so, many want a return to slavery. Until multiple generations go without it, I'm afraid it will be a constant…" Bowen told me.
The Headmaster took a long drink of some water and rubbed his fingers over his saggy eyelids. "Did you know we will be celebrating the three decades since the end of the war this year? It's going to be an absolute nightmare on top of the tournament soon…" Bowen groaned.
"I don't see the point of this…we are talking about Mila," I asked, confused.
He set his water down and gave me a deadpan stare. "The point is the population is booming just three decades after the war. Every year we see increases. The food supplies are also going well, and the coffers are growing larger despite our numerous projects. Luminar is prospering. But…"
"But people are trying to stop that, mhm?" I mentioned.
"Indeed they are… anyways the reason I've told you all this because I wanted you to know I care. I do. Little Mila here is special, and I hope she will live a long, happy, and extraordinary life. I just need time to make this hope a reality. I can do many things, Voker. However, I can not create the ideal family for a child like Mila."
"Time? Like what? A few days? How long?"
Bowen shook his head. "I don't know. Like I just said, Voker…finding a family isn't so easy. I can't just take her, toss her into a home with people I know, and say, 'start a family, have fun.' That's not how this goes. Finding someone to adopt a former slave is difficult, and if she really was captured by the Chapter of Despair…which she undoubtedly was with your proof…that makes things even more of a challenge. That's not even including her issues as well."
"I see…" I said while nodding my head.
Bowen gave me a severe look. "It's just like you said, Voker, people are not inherently good. They don't want to raise a broken child that has been through situations they themselves can not even fathom. That takes time, energy, love, and money- things people are not willing to spend on some random little girl when there are hundreds of children who are in better….condition than Mila."
"But there is the Shadow Clan and—"
Bowen gave me a weak chuckle. "I know, Voker…I know. I will help her. Just please…with all this going on…I just need some time. Please stop asking for the impossible…"
I stopped and stared at Bowen in the eyes. "Wait…does that mean you want me…to keep taking care of her?"
"Well… yes, for the time being, I can't—"
I stood up from my chair along with its arm before I even realized what I was doing. "What?! I can not provide for Mila! I am a wanted man with multiple large gold coins! The people who put me into this position are prowling around in the night just outside these walls! Who, might I add, are incredibly dangerous. They are looking for both of us! I can't be around her! And you want me to take care of her?! I can't raise a child like Mila. She needs real help from somebody who knows what they are doing! I can't even raise my damn self, Bowen…"
Bowen looked at Mila, and I looked over my shoulder. Her eyes were watering and her knuckles were drained from color as she gripped her chair again. Finally, I reluctantly sat back down, dropping the broken chair arm. Bowen gave me a defeated smile.
"Listen…I just need time, please. Just till the end of the festival." Bowen stopped and ran his hands through his hair while looking up at the ceiling. "I've had plans to create a school or care system for the children of students so even if I can't find somebody, then perhaps I can use that since she is too young to be considered a student here."
"Can't you get your paperwork through one of the other schools?" I argued.
"No. Only Forward University provides the necessary paperwork for students to achieve this designated status that I can afford to you. And I will not destroy the rules for you or for her. I've worked far too hard on this to throw it all away now," Bowen said with an air of finality. "I've pushed back this project far enough, so perhaps this is a good way for me to begin testing—"
"You are missing the point!" I shouted. "What if something were to happen to me? Then what? Mila would suffer because of my actions? I can't allow that. I won't allow that. I think—"
Bowen narrowed his eyes at me and nearly stood from his seat. "It is your actions that brought you here, Voker, not mine! You—"
"That's enough, you two," Ms. Taurus said from behind Bowen. Bowen flicked around to find his wife, giving him a death glare, only for her to turn to me and give me a warm smile. "We will take full responsibility for Mila if something were to happen to you, Voker."
"Full responsibility?" I asked in disbelief.
"That's right. We will adopt Mila ourselves if it comes down to it. You have my word," Ms. Taurus told me with a kind smile.
Bowen looked at me, then his wife, blinking repeatedly with a confused look on his face. "We…uh… we will?" he squeaked.
She flashed her husband a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "That's right, we will," she said somewhat dangerously. "It would be good for Rose to have a sister her age, right, Bo?"
Bo?
Bowen swallowed his spit and looked to me for help. Too bad I had no intention of assisting him. "Then I guess we will…" he mumbled. "I'll—"
Bowen was interrupted as the doors to his office were flung open. The pitter-patter of small footsteps quickly approached me, and a little girl with curly brown hair sped past me. She rounded the table too quickly and let out a small oof as she slapped into the side of it. The small child dove at Bowen, forcing him out of his chair with surprising speed as he caught her form underneath the arms.
"Papa!" she yelled excitedly.
Bowen lifted the giggling child high into the air, and although she was very amused, he was not. "Rose! What are you doing! Where is JD? He should be watching you…gah… stop trying to kiss me…you can't just be running in on important meetings like this…" Bowen let out a sigh, but it was half-hearted. The goofy smile plastered on his fatigued face told me he didn't care one bit about his daughter running in on us.
I hadn't even realized that Ms. Taurus had moved to my side when she lightly tapped me on the shoulder. "Voker…" she said gently. "You should choose your words more…wisely."
Is uh…is she threatening me?
Seemingly sensing my confusion, she just smiled brightly at me. "Your words have more power than you think. I bet you believe Mila can't understand you when you speak Human, but it appears she knows more than you give her credit for. Emotions are a powerful thing, Voker. I mean….look at her…she hasn't stopped watching you since you walked in. And that intense gaze when you two were arguing…never left her little face."
Sure enough, when I looked over to Mila, she was indeed watching me. But that's just…how she always is. She watches everyone like this…right?
Then she poked me in the shoulder again. "And you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You and Mila have far more in common than you think. I, for one, would never be able to understand what she has gone through…most people wouldn't even know where to begin with her. Yet you seem to be doing wonders for Mila. She appears to be attached to you somewhat. Just ask yourself, did she look like that a few days ago?"
I met Mila's eyes for a moment. "No…no, she didn't," I admitted.
"And do you believe someone would have been able to do this much for her in such a short amount of time?" Ms. Taurus asked me.
"No…I mean…I don't know that? Who's to say somebody couldn't do a better job than me?" I argued.
Ms. Taurus giggled and gave me a pat on the shoulder. "You should think about it some more then."
I felt my shoulders sag into the chair. "You aren't the first person to tell me that…it appears I have much to consider these days…" I grumbled.
She brought a finger up to her chin and then looked over to Mila. "If you aren't certain…then why don't you ask her? I'll make you a deal, Voker."
"A deal?"
"That's right, a deal. Why don't you ask Mila what she thinks? If she voices any concerns with how you are doing things…I'll take her from you right here right now. No questions asked. I swear to you I'll find her a loving home even if it takes me months or years. If it comes down to it, I'll raise her myself. I can't assure you I'll be a good fit for her…but I'll do my best. However…only if she says so. If not, we are going with Bowen's recommendation," she suggested.
"Deal," I said with absolute confidence.
The choice was clear as day. Why stay with the weird masked man when you can have a loving family with status, money, and plenty of love and care to spare. Now I just have to articulate this to Mila…
"Mila, Mister and Misses Taurus want…to…uh…Mila? Mila!"
I jolted out from my chair and narrowly caught her just in time. She forced herself out of her seat without me even realizing it and was trying to walk toward me. Then all of a sudden, she just threw herself outwards…or maybe she just had a calculated fall? I don't even know what I witnessed. It was the movements of a physically impaired child and it was awkward to explain.
"Mila? What are you doing?" I asked her while setting her back on the ground.
Instead of letting go of me, she just held onto my shoulder, and I could already hear the sniffling. "Don't leave me! Please!"
"Wait, who said anything about leaving? I'm not going anywhere," I told her. "Listen…Mila…my friends here want to help you. They can take excellent care of you and give you things I never could. Would you like to—"
"No! I want to stay with Daddy!" she shouted.
Eh?
I looked to Ms. Taurus to see if my ears were playing tricks on me, but her mouth was in an O shape and she was just staring at us. Next was Bowen, and he had stopped playing with his daughter only to watch me with my agape and wide eyes.
Mila tried shaking me by the collar, but it wasn't very effective. Tears were streaming down her face, and she was biting her lip hard enough to draw blood. "Please don't go!"
"Why…w—w—why would you call me that? I'm not…" I stuttered.
She gritted her teeth and started weakly banging on my chest with her tiny little hands. "Yes! Mommy said Daddy would protect me! You! You…you…PLEASE…" she started bawling uncontrollably.
My mind went numb, and I could hear the blood moving around my ear. It felt like somebody had punched me straight through the heart and ripped it out. My mouth had gone dry, and I was at a loss for words while my tired mind attempted to formulate anything in response. Instead, I only managed a few wheezes and something in between a gasp and a breath of air.
Is this a panic attack? Am I panicking?
I placed my hands on Mila's shoulders to stop her hits. She tried to shake free of me, but it was futile. It took me far longer to speak than I wanted as the words got caught in my throat. So I just took the time to relax and wait for Mila to calm down.
I wouldn't say Mila had calmed down enough for her to understand me. I just needed to fill this silence with something other than her crying. "Mila…I need you to understand that I can't be your father. I have…a massive amount of problems myself…and I'm just not capable of being someone's parent. "
"Why not!" she shouted while throwing herself out of my grip and sprawling out onto the floor.
"Mila…please…I am not who you think I am. The things I've done…you wouldn't want to call somebody like me your father…I just can't," I told her.
"I DON'T CARE! PLEASE!" she begged me.
I'm confident in a lot of my skills…I'm capable of many things if I apply myself…but there are just some things I can not handle…being a father to this child is one of those things.
I haven't even thought about the possibility of starting a family. The thought hasn't even crossed my mind. How can I raise a child while still looking for my family? It's… it's just not possible.
"What is she saying, Papa? Why is she crying?" the little girl asked Bowen.
"Don't worry about it, Rose…" Bowen whispered. He was looking at both of us with tired eyes full of pity.
Something I didn't want to see.
I attempted to calm Mila down, but she was…in a very unagreeable state. It got to the point where she wouldn't even look me in the eyes as she swatted my hands away. She has become entirely inconsolable, which would continue until her ability to cry waned, causing her to fall asleep.
"Umm…perhaps we should reconvene at a later date?" Bowen suggested in a quiet voice.
"Yes…maybe we should…" I agreed.
Ms. Taurus helped me up from the floor with a surprising amount of ease. She was below average in height for a Human woman and although she had some…interesting skills I was not expecting her to be able to lift me off the ground so easily. So, just how strong is this woman?
"I am sorry, Voker, I did not expect events to unfold like this," Ms. Taurus apologized. "If I would have known, I wouldn't have even asked…I—"
"It's fine. It's just like you said…it is nearly impossible for you to understand what she has gone through," I told her, my voice sounding tired and strained.
"Voker, you may want to attempt to distance yourself from her. If we were to separate her from you at this point…" Bowen trailed off.
"It would break her soul…" I mumbled.
Things were not supposed to go this way. So what does a man need to do for things to go smoothly for once?
—
"Mila…you don't have to talk to me, but I ask that you at least listen."
She let out an annoyed huff and stared straight ahead at the wall. I was washing her hair…well her head at this point in the bath. Just when I thought these days couldn't get any longer…something has to go and prove me wrong.
"I need you to know that things can't be like this, Mila. I have many things I'm dealing with. I need to find my family, which means I have to leave this place soon and travel. That's very dangerous for me, and it would be for you as well," I tried to explain. But, of course, she ignored me.
I sighed and continued scrubbing her head, ensuring I got behind her ears. Her little tail swayed back and forth, but she remained steadfast in her opposition to me.
I managed to get a few hours of sleep when she was sleeping. It drastically improved my mental state and allowed me some time to really think things over. This situation was bad…and I was definitely the cause of it.
I don't regret saving her or killing those men. If I ran through the scenario a hundred times, the only thing I would do is kill those bastards quicker, so I could help Mila sooner. But in helping Mila…I have inadvertently drawn attention to her.
It wouldn't be the first time that scumbag Alnwar used a child to get what he wanted. Clearing my mind allowed me to understand that the way Mila was being set up was very similar to what happened to me. If Mila were to be taken in by a family or even The Keepers, there is a damn good chance the second she started bleeding, Jessine would find her again. And if that happened…that family would have to be able to fight the Chapter of Despair.
That's not possible for most people.
Even Bowen and his wife might struggle to fight all of them while also protecting their daughter and Mila. The Keepers can't afford another Ostela incident. All those children in that shop would be in danger…
"Why do you want me to be your father? You barely even know me…" I grumbled louder than I had anticipated.
Mila flicked around, her eyes bloodshot from crying so much, and gave me a hurt look. My heart twisted in a knot at her glare, but she averted her eyes. "Because you protected me…" she told me.
"But…other people can protect you as well? Why me?" I asked her.
I could see the momentary frustration build on her face as she attempted to find the words to answer my question. A small tear rolled down her face, but she wiped it away. "No…no one has ever protected me."
"No one? But your mother—"
"No!" she shouted. She looked at me and sank back into the tub with a growl. "No…no one…not even Mommy…"
My heart sank in my chest at her statement. Yet, I didn't sense or feel that she was lying to me whatsoever. Even though she was frustrated… she was being honest. At least, I believe she is.
"Well, I'm not—gah—what are you—" I shouted.
"You!" she screeched.
Mila interrupted me with a splash of water to the face as she rolled over the lip of the tub. I tried grabbing her, but my hands just slid right off her wet soapy body. I imagine this is what it must have been like to wrangle a greased-up animal or something… an animal that can move on two feet.
Despite her attempt at a speedy getaway, Mila wasn't very fast on account of her injuries. The door to the bathroom was wide open, and she only managed a few steps out of the room before I caught her.
As I reached for her shoulder, I immediately felt my feet slip out from underneath me. The wet soapy trail Mila had left in her wake had become my downfall. Time seemed to slow down as I began face planting into the ground.
All things considered, I could have done a lot of things to stop myself from falling. I was confident I could just force mana into my arms and catch myself with ease. Maybe even a bit of gravity magic to right myself, but I was afraid I might hurt Mila if I did that.
Not to mention the extreme embarrassment coursing through my mind didn't really allow me to think clearly.
Mila had moved out of the way just in time for me to slide across the wet floor, watching me with an angry scowl. I let out a small gasp as the air was pushed from my lungs, and I began sliding into the kitchen table. Only to knock into it, causing an empty bowl to come crashing down onto my head. I took a deep breath to expel the defeated feeling in my chest and rolled over onto my side. I looked at Mila, then followed her confused gaze for a moment.
Sylvia was just standing there, watching me, laying on the ground with a bowl still on my head. And a very wet, naked Mila standing beside me.
Sylvia balled her fists as she looked down at me with a single cold eye behind her mask. "Voker…" she said slowly.
Ah…man…