There was nothing that could possibly happen even after all that.
Nothing, I murmured to myself, absolutely nothing...
Bliss, peace, tranquility... Bliss, peace, tranquility... Bliss, peace, tr-
Boompf.
The surrounding hell scape had begun to amass multitudinous amounts of flesh eating slimes, and magma reached from the bowels of the earth from craters which once lived a few thousand. Spewing putrid fires from the heavens above were the angels who blocked and surrounded themselves with the holiness that the one above had granted them, while fighting off the devils which grant access to those who direly need of power, the ancient one's gracious dark magics. The war is endless, as people became both angel and devil and relive there times on earth to choose whether to be an angel of justice or little devils of chaos, whichever they prefer really.
Yet, begetting such angels and devils, could not stop the BOOMPF, there greatest enemy of all, the reason which they fight over and over, millenia after millenia.
What is the BOOMPF? It was an extremely gaseous explosion from the anus of a ones forgotten elder god, who has hidden himself after creating the slowly impending, rotten smelling gas, which devours universes left, right, center, if left untouched.
Now why do these ancient species fight? When they can band together to harness peace and avoid ultimate destruction, even if said avoidance alter the inevitable death for more more than just a split second? Well, the gas gives life and power...
For when the angels could concede, they could never; the same goes for the devils. The reason being? The worshippers, the most important part of an ancient beings power...and the life which all came from - the BOOMPF.
They breath in the BOOMPF, they live within it... Such irony from the ancient elder god, one who gave such destruction is able to give life in return? How?! The BOOMPF destroys because it gives too much life to those who breath within it, yet in minimum doses, living beings can thrive and live, and ancient beings can become powerful.
That's the reason why these worshippers of these ancient beings still exist to this day, and the reason why living beings thrive and breath... The ancient beings rely on the faith of those who worship them, and in return, create the things they could and increase their own consumption of the BOOMPF, transforming its stinky smell into that of a godlike meal, incomporable to anything ever. And because of a fart - a smelly, destructive fart, these gods of differing origins, that maybe of an angel, devil, fairy, dwarfs, even monsters of the forgotten deep, and many more, do they go to war with each other.
These ancient beings, they live by the fart; these angels and devils, they live by the fart; and so does our story begin, from one who breaths in the fart - the BOOMPF master, the ancient elder's reincarnation.
*Prrff*
"Ohh, a smelly one." Says he, who is currently smelling his own fart, while watching a vibrant TV sitcom, about two kids who go ghost hunting for people's farts.
This man's name was Hubert Gluttony, a funny name most might say, but one of which contains mystery and power. Hubert might not know this, but he loves farts, so much so that he smells his on the daily, and consumes fiber rich products to smell his own farts while taking a massive log in the bathroom. Whether it was at work, at the park, at the aeroplane, he never stopped his limitations. It was a miracle that he hadn't been caught yet.
Hubert once again farts a smelly one, this one containing liquid nutrients, *Shrrkk* his anus exclaims.
"Ah shit..." He says, and lifts his shorts and underwear, seeing a little splash of brown paint near his huge, veiny, and erect penis.
"Having a penis like this... It's really wonderful, I can feel the vibrations of my farts and the heat which came from them touch my sensitive knob... P-plus..." He pants and grunts, sensing himself about to explode inside of his own pants.
"Th-the... liquidy nutrients... it touches it... G-gaahh... S-so close to i-it... Thank you gaaahaaaad..." He says, white paint now splashing inside of his underwear, mixing in with the brown paint, creating a wonderful piece some call "The Incident before Disaster", critics called them crazy however us believers at that time...
Anyways, moving on, after the "The Incident before Disaster" Hubert was destined to clean up his own mess, and so he did, rushing towards the bathroom, he brings out wipes to wipe his now bedridden penis, and poops and farts on the toilet for what seemed like hours. When he comes out, he becomes fresh, almost as if the gods had blessed him whenever he went to the toilet, but really, he was just freshened up by his own beloved farts.
In fact, after he went out, he already had a suit on, a dashing beard, and a pair of sunglasses which hung from his V neck collar. He was indeed looking fresh, and THIS was how Hubert Gluttony started his day.
***
"Looking fresh Hubert..." A seductive voice, that of a familiar feminine voice, who of which had Hubert on his seat, who was relaxed and ecstatic, as a sultry, bombastic woman had perched herself on his lap, pulling his collar towards her. Her name was Luisa Noveau, a 6 foot supermodel famed for her naturally gifted body, a slender waist, well mannered bosom, and a very plump behind, meant to wave as Hubert would imagine himself farting on the woman's ass, making waves on her flesh, as electronic dance music emitted from his anus.
He grabbed her behind as he imagined such thoughts, his humongous penis slowly becoming erect through his slacks, as Luisa would grind herself on his lap.
Luisa then giggled seductively, a drunken smile of lust appeared on her face, as she held the neck of Hubert with her two, slender hands.
"Gah, I can't wait to eat you..." Says she, as she imagined Hubert choking, running out of breath, grasping her ass even tighter, as he farted and farted until his death. His death... his death... his death... flesh... flesh... flesh...
"U-uwah..." She moaned, literally uttering 'uwah' as she imagined his death, and imagining herself feasting on the very vibrant flesh of Hubert.
Seeing this, Hubert couldn't help but fart melodically, his anus now without a doubt, playing Vivaldi's Four Seasons concerto, specifically Winter's fourth movement. The vibrations of his farts rippled throughout his legs, giving him a very orgasmic feeling of pleasure, thus he exploded in his pants once more, yet he still looked damn near fresh as he could appear.
Luisa on the other hand, had not noticed all of the gregarious responses of Hubert, only focusing on him cumming as she choked him out, which was admittedly just her hovering her fingers above his neck, afraid to actually either snap it in half, or perhaps choke him out and fulfill her somewhat dark fantasies, which she did not need to explain why she had done so to a court room, let alone people within prison.
After the two have their moments of half fulfilled fantasies, they immediately began to dress up and go do their own respective jobs, Hubert staying in the office managing some files, while Luisa doing her modelling gig again for this year's Victoria Secret fashion show.
Before Luisa leaves though, she smiles at Hubert and does something she did not quite expect of doing herself.
"Hey Hubert, you free this weekend?" Asked Luisa with a heart full of nervousness, and a calm face full of sultry, seductiveness.
"Yeah, I'm free on the weekends."
Correction, he was not.
He wanted to seek out a farting partner, yet no other female would likely appreciate his farting fetish yet again, and no other male friend of his would likely engage in an activity of such a lewd act together. This weekend, he actually wanted to go to an underground facility cult known as the "Fart Club" and join, but perhaps they could wait...
Luisa Noveau, she's probably worth the lesser farts this weekend. He could handle it - she was worth it!
He was actually interested in the fact that she didn't mind him farting and exploding from that, and so he liked the idea of spending time at her job.
"I'm free at the weekends actually, almost most of the COO stuff for the makeup company is done by now, why'd you ask?" He said, acting yet not really acting desperate for her date.
"I was wondering if you'd be cool in hanging out at the Victoria Secret fashion show I'm going to be in this weekend?" She said, acting yet not really acting desperate for his response.
The both of them had mutually agreed to have a pseudo date at the event, although they would meet afterwards, right at the event is what was important for both Hubert and Luisa, as they would unexpectedly, become the most powerful couple the industry had ever seen.
As Hubert Gluttony would appear, thousands of journalists would flock towards his position, his association with Luminescence, the make up company he's COO at, is internationally renowned throughout the whole world, and matching his prestige with his appearance which is second to none, Hubert Gluttony was or is basically the front face of the whole company, despite having many celebrities having been sponsored by them.
"Mr. Gluttony!" Out of the sea of reporters that came right at him, he preferred one in answering questions, that was the exclamation of a deep, British man named Kal Monaster, a well known journalist who has delved deep within the industry of fashion.
"Ah, Mr. Kal! Yes, what is it?" Hubert asks, reaching out towards Kal who was at the very back of the crowd.
Kal was by all means, a very small person, standing at about 5'1", it was a miracle he got through the huge crowd, although his athletic physique certainly was a factor as to how he got there, and it was hard to miss his bright blonde hair.
"Hello Mr. Gluttony, I only have one question for you, what made you attend a Victoria's Secret event when you have not for the majority of your career?" Asked Kal with a serious tone, Hubert simply obliged and softly smiled towards the journalist sea as he responded.
"Well, I'm quite interested in the fashion line right now, the trends and what these artists are coming up with are something I'm personally interested in to put it simply, so I'm quite excited to see some of the clothes in today's event." Said Hubert with an elegant poise. Kal had ended his interview with a simple nod towards Hubert, and thus Hubert went along towards the show, not minding the large journalist crowd which had begun to ask mostly uninteresting questions.
Inside of the venue, Hubert could take a breath of fresh air, as another celebrity had parked outside of the red carpet of the venue, and the journalists would flock towards the new fresh, shining light like moths.
The inside of the venue was luxurious, as chandeliers hung above the magnificent catwalk of the show. Just farther down the catwalk, drapery of a few, huge glittery curtains would cover the gigantic walls, which contained inside numerous amounts of supermodels and fashion artists, which Hubert could only imagine the pain of being a representative and an artist inside of those gigantic walls.
Besides the exit of the runway was a few instruments with no people manning them yet, as most of the venue was essentially not prepared to present yet, only a few hundred people of big backgrounds were present, not a lot of seats were filled in - Hubert realized he was quite early, yet the red carpet was that full of journalists?
"Hey, what are you thinking hard about?" Said a familiar male voice, Hubert turned around to see a childhood friend of his - Josh Stephenson, the CEO of a large film production studio.
"Hey Josh, just wondering why there were so many journalists outside."
Josh simply nodded and said, "Well, there is a new hot topic in town arriving! Nobody knows when they'll appear though."
Hubert frowned, not knowing such news, "Huh, who?" He asked.
"The proclaimed 'Once in a lifetime' talent of this generation, Lily Mariette Anderson-Opal, AKA one of the greatest producers and singer-writers in recent music history at the age of 20." Josh exclaimed, gushing over the artist a little too much.
"Never heard of her..." Hubert said with a wry smile, as Josh reacted with a shocked look on his face.
"What?! She's a sponsored celebrity of your company and you don't KNOW her?"
Hubert was in fact, detached from reality, it's a wonder he got to be COO of his company with his habit of "forgetting things" when he was at his home farting nonstop and exploding nonstop.
"A-ah, well, I have simply better things to do, the rest of the corporate ladder can handle that business, I'm simply here to give ideas..." Said he with a failed smile, although perhaps Josh could understand?
Josh nodded with a wry smile, "I understand, it's hard sometimes..."
Josh was in fact, very much a fanboy of Hubert Gluttony. With a cool name and dashing looks that of a hero's, it's no wonder Josh fell in love with Hubert, although his views of him might twist upon realizing his absurd addiction towards his own farting.
As they say, never meet your heroes.
And after a few fancy talk here and there with Josh and a few others whom are quite normal and do not necessarily have any particular traits that would adjoin them with this cast of characters, it was time for the show to start.
A silence fell upon the building, as the lights went out and only the chandeliers which hung from above gave twinkles of little light could be seen, a deep male voice greeted the audience.
The lights focused on the man, a spotlight had shrouded him, his mask covered half of his face, and a black suit with long coat tails flowed as he fwipped his hands on it, making it flow a few seconds, then the music started.
The models came out from within, as the man serenaded and danced along with them. They smiled, they showed off the clothes, then they went in again.
Hubert was bored of this, how much longer to wait for-
Oh... no.
I... I'm... I'm farting...
A small fart.. bpff...
The models came by towards Hubert, who had a sullen face to him, he seemed so serious and mysterious, that the models simply could not help but be attracted to his features, it was a wonder that they could focus on the cat-
Bpff...
"Who farted??" A man whispered around himself, also gaining attention from around him as others came to know of the sudden gaseous smell which was honestly quite unbearable.
Hubert was panicking, his farts had somehow vibrated his humungous penis, and he was on ecstacy as he barely kept a straight face. Good thing though, as Luisa came down the catwalk, he raised his dashing eyes and accidentally smouldered the lady, which made her blush a deep, crimson red.
As Luisa hid herself behind the walls of the runway, finishing her catwalk and doing another round quickly, Hubert could barely keep it together.
"Hey, you alright man?" Josh said, as he held Hubert's arms with a squeeze, feeling his tight muscles.
'Ah fuck, I'm such a raging homosexual for this alpha male.' Josh thought to himself.
Hubert thought it wasn't weird, in fact, he never thought at all, he was too focused on the mini vibrations his cute, squeaky farts were sending towards his now going erect genitalia. He was trying to hold it in, hold in the momentum.
Perhaps fate wouldn't want him holding it in, as the touches of Josh had given goosebumps to his skin. Josh, misunderstanding a human reaction, had grown a blushing mess and thus, spoke with a stutter, unable to handle the reaction of his biggest idol towards him.
This stutter seemed like multiple far-
Psht, chiki, chiki, psht...
His fart just beatboxed, his fart just beatboxed.
This thought couldn't get out of his head.
And the smell, oh god the smell. It reverberated around the seats, the acoustics of the chair had conducted the smell to ten times its degree, now the smell had spread, but not enough to get to the catwalk, where most of the models could not even take a single glimpse at the stands.
The commotion about the farts had grown into a loud whisper within the crowd, and poor Mr. Gluttony could not help but feel aroused as the reverberations of the rippling air around his gigantic knob head had taken his ecstacy to another high, his face now turning into a flushing, submissive mess, his eyes upturned slightly, and his mouth opened for just a tiny bit, enough to emit clouds of hot steam, as his breath turned ragged.
His fanboy had grown completely unable to control his own mind, Josh had a tiny boner, and thus, had hidden his own problem - quite terribly, as his eyes had hearts within the pupils metaphorically, and his beating heart was so hard and fast it could be heard from the catwalk, the models presuming it was the drummer's own impromptu act.
The situation escalated further, as Hubert could no longer hide his own expression, as he groaned and moaned in pleasure on his seat, begging his own stomach to not imbue unto him total embarrassment and basically the total death of his own career. But the first to ever do so, was Josh.
"Oh g-g-g-g-g-g... god..." Josh moaned, trembling in pleasure as he had ejaculated within his own seat. It would have been fine, if not for the fact that he was turned on like a faucet, thus creating a puddle of juice under his seat as he continued to indulge in his own hypnosis.
This in turn, dropped a domino, first a scream, then a point, then a turn of his head by Josh, a smile on his creepy, blushing mess of a facade, and now people falling and turning into screaming machines comparable to that of death metal's, and a commotion started.
Another domino drops, as Hubert could no longer hide his fart, releasing a big, juicy one.
Brrrrft. Shrik.
Oh what was that- OH GOD!
Josh had driven himself out of his stupor as the trembling of Hubert had began to be the semblance of a scared, puppy. He turned his head down to the ground and realized his semen had mixed with an unknown, liquid, slime like, brown existence. It smelled of... Hubert?
Hubert's slacks had now been filled with literal poop juice, and he smiled in defeat as he hung his head low. He begged for mercy for any god to save his from his own reality, wanting to turn to fantasy as a unicorn from Valhalla stepped inside and a large man with a long beard, stooped down from the unicorn and held his hand out to him.
But reality was cruel.
"Hubert..?" A feminine voice had asked almost silently, and within this space existed two destined beings - Hubert and Luisa, about to face each of their lovers own dilemmas.
This space... it seemed to exist beneath the chaos, an understanding had formed from the silence, as they look at each other, full of needs...
Luisa had looked upon the scene, a turmoil of terror and anguish, as smell of liquid feces had spread and mixed with the fishy smell of semen. It was terrible, but enough of a bearable smell, to talk to her fallen lover...
Her fallen lover, now down and beaten, someone that could not stand on their own two legs and feet... She felt anger and sadness form within her heart and mind, as the people who had looked to him for respect, could no longer look at him the same, as if abandoning him even if they stood at the top of the food chain.
Yes, people will come to spite this man, and yes, they maybe millions - but it was enough to keep him assured, safe, and thus she jumped down from the runway, her heels somehow not breaking from the impact. She proceeds to walk over to him, trying to reach out as he weeped in sorrow, whispers of begging and the sobs of a broken man, waiting to be fixed by his only lover, who stood far and above others as she was too perfect, yet could still accept his worst version.
She had to be like this.
But alas, she couldn't be bear to keep her weaknesses to herself.
"Ah... After this, I want to eat you up~!"
She whispered, oh dear she whispered... A cataclysmic mistake, of two forlorn lovers who would begin to have the battle... That would forever change the tides of destiny.
Hubert could only whisper to himself.
And this whisper, emitted a fart gas that wiped out every single being there.
It was inevitable.
A god who weeped in sorrow, forever finding himself to destroy those around him, as he felt both pain and pleasure within his heart, as he begged for mercy from those around him, feeling nothing but the empty space and the gas from his ass.
A goddess who found pleasure within this pain, yet could not bear to find herself the idea of love, as she forever seeked the lover she let go, finding herself in the pit of sands, treading in the needless desert of no known oasis. This goddess was the desert. A dry, pitiful, sorrowful desert.
And Josh, well, pretty self explanatory.
*Excerpt from the Tales of the Demon Elder Gods, Vol.1; Page 315*