"But, with time, one has encountered many of the monsters, and one is increasingly less terrified of those still to be met."
-Kay Redfield Jamison, "An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness"
Ezra
I heard Nicole slam her bedroom door after her running feet. Tracy raised her brows at me in question, but I hadn't a clue what was wrong. I open my mouth to say so when I heard muffled screaming as if she was yelling into a blanket or something. Again, Tracy raised her brows. I wondered what Nicole was doing why she suddenly left the room like that.
I say to Tracy, "She's just Human. There's nothing about her that the Shadow may want. She has no powers, no magic, no anything. As I said, she's Human."
"And yet, you brought her here, tried to scare her to death with Frogu, of all creatures," she said with a smirk. "We both know Frogu is a butterfly, not a terrifying Dragon."
I rolled my eyes. "I know, but she didn't even flinch at the Qiqirn. All she did was ask if it was going to live or not."
Tracy laughed. "Yet, a Shadow has won her fear over the few monsters you show?"
"Well, I'd be afraid of it too if it turned red-glowing eyes on me."
She balked. "Glowing?" I nod. "I've never seen a Shadow turn glowing eyes on someone, much less a Human."
I shrug. "Nicole said it had red glowing eyes when it attacked her."
"Did you look it up to see what might have been the cause?"
I shake my head. "I got back, let her settle, then Lorvog and I defended her against Wrephor."
"Idiot Bardi!" Tracy hissed. "It should know better than to trespass in your home."
"Hmm." There was silence again and I listened for Nicole again to hear subtle crying. I leaped up and ran upstairs, then to her door. When I tried to open it, I found it locked. I growled and pounded my fist upon the wooden barrier between me and her. "Nicole!"
"Go away, Ezra!"
"Nicole, open this door, right now! Let me in!"
She didn't say anything, but I heard her cry harder. Behind me, Tracy stayed against the opposite wall and stared curiously at the door. Then, Daeva appeared and said hesitantly, "The human is upset."
"Why?" Tracy asked calmly while I seethed.
Daeva turned to her, even more hesitant. "She said something about you calling her ugly."
Both Tracy and I stilled at that, disbelief written all over our faces. Tracy glanced up at me in realization. I still had no idea but felt somehow guilty. "Let me talk to her," Tracy said softly.
I stepped aside automatically, not really feeling the world around me. With one of her spindly fingers, Tracy picked the lock on Nicole's door and gently opened it. She slid inside and left the door open for me to watch and listen. On the bed, Nicole was completely hidden under the blankets, a small lump on the large mattress. When she heard the door open, she peeked out and sat bolt upright.
Tracy put her hands up by her head. "Peace, Human. I come in peace."
"Get away!" Nicole croaked. I stood in the doorway with Daeva, watching as Tracy slid a little closer to the bed. Nicole scrambled to the other side and held onto one of the posts. "Get away from me!"
"Hear me out," Tracy said calmly.
Nicole shook her head. "N-no! Just go away!"
Ignoring her silent pleas, Tracy stopped by the bed and rested her hands and forearms on the blankets. "There are different meanings here in Uithcoth than in your Human world. Here, it does not matter if you're young or old, male or female, pretty or ugly." She paused, gesturing to Nicole with a hand. "Your appearance does not matter to any of us. The only thing that matters is survival, whether or not you have what it takes to defend yourself and reproduce.
"When someone sizes you up, they look for strength, gifts, magic, territory. Strength and territory are just basic elements. But magic and gifts are completely different. The Bardi you encountered has the gift of Shapeshifting. Edna, the Adar Lwch Gwin you rode through the Gate, understands Human language. Witches have magic, spells, and curses. Elves are the same. This place isn't what you would call ordinary or normal, but it is our normalcy."
Nicole, still holding onto the bedpost, hugged it tighter when Tracy paused. Though she still had anger and fear in her eyes, as well as something like sorrow, she was very intrigued by what the Ichchadhari had to say. Daeva crept in and stood beside Tracy, glancing up at Nicole. "She's right. If you don't stand up for yourself and have enough strength, then you're getting trampled on."
Tracy nodded. "Uithcoth is not completely savage as it may seem. Many of us live in peace and harmony, here in the heart of the land. We're called the Freelanders: free to be ourselves and do what we want, make friends, reside as equally as possible. But there are other parts of Uithcoth where there are some who would rather stay to their own kind or who are too dangerous for the other creatures.
"Shadows are in that category. They are seen as a danger and threaten all who go near them. They prey on the good and light coming from creatures like Daeva. They're easily hidden and can easily strike. They like power. They like to devour the light Fairies produce and what little life Elves provide. Some of us believe they are worse than the Demons."
Nicole furrowed her brows at the information, probably as confused about the Shadow as we were, but she said nothing, did nothing while Tracy readjusted herself.
"So," Tracy continued, "when I wondered what was special about you, I was wondering why a creature like a Shadow would want to feed off a powerless Human like yourself. What is it about you that the Shadow is so interested in?" Tracy tilted her head a little and I heard the warm smile when she said, "Do not worry about your looks, Human. You're not ugly. Ezra could have given you something new to wear so you don't have to use those rags, but you have nothing to worry about when it comes to looks. You especially have nothing to worry about if the male behind me is making it a point to keep you alive."
Nicole blushed, looking down at her feet. I rolled my eyes at the back of Tracy's head but smirked, liking that the Human was embarrassed. Softly, Nicole said, "So why is the Shadow coming after me?"
Tracy glanced at me for an answer, but I had none that would satisfy anyone. I said, "We're working on that. Given time, we'll have the answer." Nicole nodded, dejectedly.
"I'll be back," Tracy announced and slithered past me. She glanced at Nicole and said, "I am a snake, but I do not lie unless I have a very good reason to. Daeva and Ezra can tell you the same thing." And then, she slithered off.
Nicole slid down the post and knelt on the bed, resting her head on the wood, breathing heavily. Daeva glanced between us and I nodded once to give her permission to leave. Closing the door softly, I walk over and sit on the edge of the bed. "Here, in Uithcoth, you should listen to your instincts more than your heart. You'll hate everyone you meet when they say something similar and you continue down this road. Anything is possible here. Meanings are distorted. Truths can become lies. What you see might not be what really is. Unlike the Human world, everything is more complicated."
She looked at me. "Did it come back?"
I shook my head. "I'm guessing it got lost when Edna flew you here. Which means I or someone else needs to hunt it down and bring it back."
"How are you going to find it if the Human world is so big?"
I gave Nicole a dark smile. "We have ways. For one, a Qiqirn has a great sense of smell. It knows what a Shadow smells like."
"What does it smell like?" she asked, curiosity growing in her green orbs.
I chuckled. "From what I've heard, not very good. I can't smell them. Basically, they're just a dark splotch of air that can move on its own. Unless it is rendered unconscious, I cannot control the ability to touch it."
"But it can," she said, putting the pieces together. I nodded. "How many territories are there here in...Uithcoth?"
"Several. I'll show you a map sometime. Each place is unique from another. For example, The Colorless Rise has more caves than any other mountain range. It is used for the Ogres, Orcs, Geryon, and more. While the Steep Highlands are used for roosting purposes." Awe shone on her face at the different details so I said, "The Mighty Redwood is home to multiple creatures ranging from Qiqirn to Witches."
"I thought only the Freelanders lived together in peace?"
"We do, but in the forest, everyone has a territory."
Nicole was going to say something else when Tracy appeared and set a pile of clothes down on the bed beside me. "I got multiple sizes for you. I'm sorry if none of them fit, but I'll make Ezra go to a fitting with you at some point. Try them on and wear the best fitting you can find."
"Thank you," Nicole said and crawled over to take a look.
Tracy turned to me. "When you're ready, Ezra, I'll be at the door."
Nicole ran to the bathroom to try on a set of clothes, closing the door behind her. I said to Tracy, "Find a Adar Llwch Gwin or Sleipnir."
"Why?"
"We might as well hunt for this Shadow and Nicole is the only one of us who knows the Human world. We'll have to travel with her back to her home and see if the Shadow lingered. She can get her belongings there as well."
"What if the Shadow is caught?"
"What do you mean?"
Tracy shrugs. "Humans have never lived in Uithcoth, Ezra. For good reason. Nicole can't stay here. She won't make it. The first time she's out and about without you beside her, she's a free meal. We both know that."
I growled, knowing she was right. "We'll figure it out."
Tracy shook her head. "No, Ezra. She stays home. She's not fit to live here. Unafraid she may be. Stubborn, I'm sure. But strong enough?" Her brown eyes turned sympathetic. "She isn't. If the Shadow doesn't get to her, then who's to say the Bardi won't?"
"But what if she wants to stay?" I asked, knowing that Nicole would not want to stay, no matter how fascinated she was.
"It doesn't matter. If she wants to stay, reject her offer. Make her scared enough of this world that she never asks again. She's too innocent for the gory sight of Uithcoth. Too delicate. Especially for the Field of Ashes."
"I'm not taking her there!" I growled. "Why would you think I'd take her there?"
"Fine, then how about the fact that she will starve to death? We don't have human food here. Plants, yes. But that's it. She can't live off of fruit as you can. She has necessities that Uithcoth cannot provide."
I looked away and grumbled. I forget just how helpless Nicole is in this world. I forget her needs are different from everyone here. She doesn't seem as helpless sometimes, like when she took on the Bardi. She was afraid, yes, but she was defending herself the best she could. After a bit of encouragement, she was fine and kept herself in check. Tracy was right though, other than fruit, there was no food here that a Human could eat. Everything would either eat her alive or poison her.
If we did catch the shadow, I'd have to leave Nicole home, in the Human world. I would have to say goodbye and let her live her normal life where she belongs, even if my instincts drive me to do the opposite. At least she'd be relatively safer while she's there. No monsters trying to eat her, no spirits asking her to play kids' games, and no me scaring her with monsters. I would stay on this side of the gate and live my life comfortably, going out every now and then for blood only. Everything would go back to normal for both of us.
Tracy was still watching me carefully as I thought through everything. After a long moment, I finally nodded. "Fine. I'll keep her there if the Shadow has been captured."
Tracy smiled sadly. "Just think of how happy she'll be not to be in danger?"
I snort but shrug. "Not to be in danger of us, you mean."
"That's how it's meant to be," she said as the bathroom door opened and Nicole walked out in buckskin boots and petal-soft shirts and pants. The shirt was too large for her and she had to tie the hem into a knot in the back while the pants she had to roll several times at the waist so they didn't fall to the floor. Tracy frowned at the sight. "You're smaller than I thought."
Nicole slumped and crossed her arms, defensively. "Are these his clothes?" she asked, gesturing to me.
Tracy laughed as I scowled at the two females. "No, he isn't big at all! Just a little taller than you, Human. No, those are from a dwarf."
Nicole gawked. "A dwarf? How?"
"Their bulk gives them mass," I say with a smirk. "If they're not thick with muscle, then it's fat. And they're not as small as you might think."
"I'm not wearing this!" she announced and started back into the bathroom. I took off my shirt and threw it, making it land on the arm reaching for the door. She looked down at it then at me. She didn't stop staring when her eyes traveled to my stomach and shoulders. I saw her eyes darken and her tongue flick out to lick her lips before Tracy cleared her throat. Nicole blinked and blushed, looking away. "Thank you," she breathed before closing the door behind her.
Tracy rolled her eyes at the both of us before leaving the room.