Chapter 8 - Priorities

The punching bag groaned as I hit it one last time. He was hanging before me for no particular reason other than the fact that I was distracted. I hate it when my mind wanders, it's already got too much shit to worry about. Was this someone's plan? Or the start of some sick joke. I motioned for the bloody man to be taken from me and I patched up my hands. Calling my men off, I went to my regular spot. I planted a small tree many years ago and I still visit it. It hurts to see it but it was the only place I could bury her.

"Hey sis, I'm here again. I know I should be at work but there is so much I want to tell you"

The breeze blew through the trees of the tree and I smiled. She's here today.

"Owen grew brave, you would have liked him. He's handsome and so sweet but he gets on my nerves so much. How can someone save themselves like that?"

The breeze blew light again and I patted the tree trunk. God, you would have loved everything I created for you. You would have loved the sex, the music and the drugs. I patted the tree trunk again before heading back into town. It was only Friday and I wasn't ready to go back into work. I needed some time to distract myself from what was happening in my home. I knew I would be too distracted to do some actual office work, so I thought I could be useful out on the field. With one phone call, I found that I actually wasn't. There was nothing that needed my immediate attention, plus Zeke was working really hard to get back on my good side.

Sighing, I headed back into work. My hands hurt but the pain distracted my mind from overheating. It bothered me so much and it really shouldn't. I've taken virginities before, but why was this one so much different? I thought the beating I gave this morning would keep me on track but I couldn't focus on the file that was in front of me. It was just a blur or words now. I tried calling and texting but he was answering me, which was making me more irritated. He was completely fine with the terms of the agreement four years ago, so what has changed?

He couldn't be in love with me, I'm not someone who you should love. I looked up from the file and saw a very confused looking Matt standing in front of my desk. He must have knocked and called out to me. I was too lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even notice that he had come in.

"Are you alright S? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine. What do you want?"

"Have you finished those files I gave you on Tuesday?"

"Yeah"

I pulled a couple of files from the drawer and handed them over. He took me and left, but not without giving me another weird look. I must have been in a weird mood all day, because when dad popped in for lunch, apparently he tried to call for me but I was too busy twirling a pen in my hand, and staring off into the distance. It was still eagling when I contemplated going home. I was just about to leave when the phone on my desk started to ring. Frowning at it, I carefully picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Lindsay"

'What do you want Zeke? I don't really have the time to speak with you?"

"Matt said you looked out of it. I'm just calling to make sure you're okay. You're not drinking on the job?"

"No nothing like that"

Sighing, I slumped back down in my office chair. It was actually nice to hear Zeke's voice again. No matter how scared of me he was or how much I throated his life, he always comes back to me. Shame about his slut wife, otherwise I would have made him mine a long time ago.

"Then what's wrong?"

"If you hadn't pissed me off to begin with, then none of this would have happened. Normally you would be nearby or a phone call away but I really wasn't up to having sex with you. So, naturally I did what you said"

"Well I don't get what the problem is then. I thought you would be happy. Now you have an unlimited resource right underneath you"

"It's not that I'm not happy, it's just so many things. I think he's falling in love with me. Not to mention I took his virginity"

Zeke coughed and splattered on the other side. He must be drinking. God, a nice dry martini would go down real nice right about now. Maybe that's what I should do.

"Holy shit"

"Yeah I guess the rumours I heard about him being a good little christian boy were true. He must have been waiting for the right girl and the right marriage. Too bad he fucking got stuck with me. But something has been up with him, since we came back to New York. He's been too touchy feely"

"Well you need to straighten him up before….."

"Yeah I know, Williams. Remind me why he's one of my partners again?"

"The money"

"Don't we have enough to buy him out?"

"We do, but he won't leave"

"Well, can I kill him?"

"Let me look into it and see what we lose when he dies. For now, he needs to be alive. Sort out your marriage S and sleep. You sound awful"

"Yeah I will. And Zeke"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about Peterson. I really wasn't thinking about Margo. How is she?"

"She's fine and don't apologise, it's not like you"

Putting the phone down, I slumped down further into my chair. Fuck everything at this very moment. Williams can suck a tree for all I care. Why or why did I have to get involved with him again? Thank god he's an idiot and didn't think for a chance that he wasn't dealing with my sister. Sighing I gave in and called my driver. I mulled in my own silence not the way home, regretting the choice to come home early. Owen was in the lounge room when I opened the front door. He looked up when I entered the room, frowned and went back to ready his book.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Owen sighed, placed his book down and turned to face me. He looked exhausted, like he also didn't get any sleep last night. If I wiped my makeup off, I probably would look the same. Normally I would have slept like a baby after sex, but I just kept tossing and turning. How much this was actually bothering me, is starting to irritate me.

"I didn't think it mattered, since it was only a business deal"

"I had known Own, I wouldn't be this mad or I wouldn't have made you do something you didn't want to do"

"I did want to do it with you, I mean I still do. I thought I could hold off for seven years, but….."

"Don't say it. What happened? We were perfect for four years. What the hell happened?"

"I guess I started to get to know my wife and not my boss"

This can't be happening. I can't have this boy's love, all it will do is get me or him killed. I can't have a weakness like love following me around. It happened before and I lost my other half. I don't want that again. I don't want that ending for him. I stepped out of my heels and cracked my neck. I slowly made my way over to him and he looked terrified of me. There was something else in his eyes that I just couldn't make out. The closer I was to him, the more I saw it. Lust. This turned him on, I turned him on.

I unbuttoned my shirt, slowly pulling it out from my skirt. Now I was standing in front of him and I could see the bulge in his shorts. His hands twitched as if to touch me but he didn't dare to move. Smirking, I unzipped my skirt and let it fall. I heard him take a sharp intake of breath, as I slid onto his lap and yet he didn't move his hands.

Smiling, I reached around and unclipped my bar. Icing up his hands, I placed them on my breast. This time it was my turn to take a sharp intake of breath, as he started to roll my nipples between his fingers. I started to grind into him, making him make those sounds I loved to hear. Using my hips, I made his short slip down enough for him to slip out. Grabbing another condom, I rolled it on pushed my panties aside and sat down on him. He took his hands off me and I rode him, filling the lounge room with his moans and growls. Sounds I want to hear over and over again.