I winced when the bright light hit my eyes. Blinking rapidly, I steadied my vision. With the smell of antiseptic very strong in my nostrils, I didn't need anyone telling me where I was. The only question now was how I'd gotten here.
"Sophie. How do you feel? Does anything hurt?"
I turned my head to the side and saw uncle Nathan. His expression was one of worry.
I managed a small smile in his direction.
"What happened to you? Do you have any idea how frightened I was when I saw you in that state? I was afraid you had di—never mind. I'm just glad you're fine. Thank God I decided to visit you."
I forced myself to sit up from the bed. Uncle Nathan, upon seeing me, rushed to help me sit up.
"I'm sorry, uncle Nathan. I wasn't trying to kill myself. I promise."
He sat on my bed. There was no indication on his face to show whether he believed me or not.
"I know it's not been easy on you. I wish he wasn't gone either. I wish he hadn't gotten involved in that robbery shootout. I'm sorry I didn't protect him."
Uncle Nathan's eyes watered. My tears never failed to come rolling at the slightest thought or mention of my dad.
"It's not your fault. Why are you talking as If dad was a child you couldn't protect. I know sometimes he behaved like one, but he was an old man." I chuckled at my joke to lighten the mood. A small smile spread on uncle Nathan's lips. "You didn't do anything wrong."
He grabbed my hands. "Come live with me and the boys for now. Aaron really misses you. And so does Andrew. We'll be happy to accommodate you. Your father wouldn't have wanted it any other way."
"Uncle Nathan. I know you're offering because of what happened. But I promise, I'll take better care of myself. I'm fine."
"I know you are. You're a very strong girl. I'm not asking this because of you. I'm asking this for me. For my peace of mind."
"Uncle Nath…"
"Sophie. You're almost seventeen. I know kids nowadays think seventeen is already an adult… just, think about it. For my sake."
"Okay, uncle Nath. How about a compromise. I'll visit once every week so you can see that I'm okay." I smiled.
"You'll stay with us for the entire weekend." He argued.
"Uncle Nath," I sulked, "I'm trying to work out a compromise. Just say yes. Please…"
"Alright. Alright. Alright. But I can still drop by every now and then. That's not negotiable."
"Deal." I hugged him.
"By the way, how did you know I was sick?" I asked after he released me from his body.
"That reminds me." He said getting up and walking towards his bag that sat on the chair. "I didn't know you were sick. Actually, your father had left something in my care to give to you."
Uncle Nathan ruffled through his bag for sometime. After a few seconds, he came to me and handed me a white envelope.
"It's an envelope." I said, taking it from him. "When did he give you this?"
"He'd told me about it a while ago. I think, when you turned sixteen. He was saving it for your eighteenth birthday. But while he was, you know… he asked me to give it to you."
With trembling hands and shaky eyes, I opened the envelope. There was a handwritten letter inside it. My tears fell when my fathers handwriting came into my view.
"I'll get you something to eat." Uncle Nathan said and excused himself from my room.
I contemplated reading the letter. These were probably my fathers last words to me. Was I ready to say goodbye? I wasn't very sure if I was. But I have always been a curious person in nature.
Wiping my eyes, i placed the letter in front of me and began to read.
"Sophie… my beautiful amazing Sophie. Before you read any further, you must know that I love you. I love you so much. Your mum would be so proud of who you'd become. Of who you're growing to be. I haven't been a perfect dad. And I'm sorry my pumpkin. But I promise to do better…"
My vision blurred with tears. These weren't his last words to me. He hadn't written this letter with the thought of dying.
For some reason, I was a little relieved.
Sniffling, I wiped my eyes and continued reading.
"… and be a better father. We have many years to make adjustments. I can't wait to see you go off to college and conquer it. I can't wait to see you become a woman. Today is your eighteenth birthday, and I know it's goofy of me to write you a letter when I'm just in the other room…"
"Hmmm…" My lips quivered. "But you're not in the other room." I mumbled.
I couldn't stop whimpering. Trying to control my tears made my head ache. But I was determined to finish reading my dad's letter.
"…other room, but there are some words you put in writing. I've learnt that those words last longer in the mind. I haven't been a good cop. And this may sound like an excuse but it's only because I wanted to be a great dad to you. You will understand better when you see the gift I've prepared for you. There's a brown safe under my bed. The combination is our secret number. The one I made you memorize since you were seven. It has everything that can help make your life easy. And in the event that I am not around when you do use this gift, please, be careful. It is only a contingency plan. In case life begins to seem unfair and painful. I love you pumpkin. Always."
My finger traced the last word on the white sheet of paper. Always.
He loved me always. Always had turned out to be such a short time.
Pressing the letter to my chest, I cried out my eyes, begging for this to be a dream. For this nightmare to be over…
Uncle Nathan walked in just then. He rushed to my side and pulled me to his body, consoling me. But I couldn't be consoled. Not when my heart felt like it was splitting into many pieces with grief.
"It hurts. It hurts so much. Please… make it stop. Bring him back. Bring him back. Bring back my dad, I want him back." I cried.
"I'm sorry. I am so sorry Sophie."