* In the dream I continue to feel like I have known this so beautiful for a long time in an old house in the country. The landscape around the house was surrounded by nature, and what I woke up halfway was holding my pen writing a dream about which the man in my mind was seen. I always fall asleep imagining the past, meeting people I know in the world and places like in the world of painting and in Japanese legendary anime. This time remembering my inaccuracy with the data in the dream that the old wooden house had an old man as a keeper and that I was to come and live in the house when I fell asleep in my dream that I met my cousin including life abroad, which I didn't like much as a child. Our conversations seemed to start to argue and there was a ban from a man I knew who was my junior who came to work with me and my body was still a little girl. He turns to the dark shadow with the scabbard as an animal disappears, I can only hear the voice that comforts me, don't worry, it's just a dream, and every action that happens to me, it always knows it and records it. Over time, I realized that I had hit puberty with a lot of awkward questions and female voices asking if you aren't fed up with living alone, without friends, especially without a loving partner. This question gives me a glimpse into the lives of people around me who don't know the true meaning of love, but try to find it even though it has failed and suffered many times. Then I, who can know a lot and go through a lot, then suddenly in my dream I was just a young girl who knew nothing, and for me I could not control the order to understand this dream, like looking at me from behind a mirror That binds the soul in it The voices of these women always make me feel how true love is because they say love is part of the connected body. I wonder if this is how I want to try it before and when my clock strikes. As for my soul, I tried to tell myself that true love is not like that. But even though I screamed until my throat hurt, I couldn't hear my own voice. And I also keep dreaming the story when I think of my partner who was junior or a man who came out to help me, suddenly his shadow appeared again, as if angry and forbidding me not to listen to these words and melted. Indeed, my soul in the mirror everywhere, like the eyes or the camera staring at its dream, sees that it has transformed into a small body in a broken wooden hole like a mouse hiding behind listening to the conversation between me and grandfather owner. Grandpa told me that I hurried to find my way back before my body weakened. And when I fell asleep on the traditional bed again, the man behind the pillar came out, who looked like a boy from Spirit away, but wearing the Move castle costume from the ghibi anime legend, and it is where I saw myself, my body is like the girl in spirit away. And it's very strange that I know the house so well and feel so close. The sky was still dark in the early hours of the morning when I saw the boy trying to make soup with white noodles and heard the old man asking the boy from behind why he hadn't come to see me personally and I don't know what the boy told him. I only see his mouth was speaking. But the next sentence I could hear in the dream was that he said, "Make me some soup when I wake up and recover from my illness." As soon as he finished speaking, I woke up and was very hungry for this simple noodle soup, especially since I knew I had the flu, a dry throat and an upset stomach. For me, this is the second time I meet my junior in a dream where I hired him to transfer his visa documents along with his family documents to go abroad. And I met another senior student, asking him for a place to exchange Japanese money for dollars which I save to give my junior to leave this place, and my junior also asked me to go with him . It was a very different dream when I last met my junior , when I gave him my job and quit. Back then, like when I was drunk at night, overwhelmed by love, work and family issues, junior's voice called out to me, I remembered it was different every time he said that 'he had just broken up with his girlfriend. It surprised me that I had just broken up with my boyfriend. And I wanna scream talking about what love is, and it's like a dream now that I misunderstand that love is a physical connection that I don't know and don't really want do not on time. I was strangely jealous when I heard my junior say that he loved his girlfriend very much, but that he couldn't stand some things that made me think and believe in his actions in the past, even though he is a year younger than me. He was a good, kindhearted man and could rarely do anything joyful to anyone, especially the soft voice he spoke of his sweetheart, to whom I had never heard that word before from my boyfriend. And after a while my boyfriend was still arguing, making me cry. After saying that, I hung up the phone and fell asleep. It was like a strange time when I seemed to be in a relationship with a different person, like a person on two different planets. But I encouraged him to pursue his dream of playing rather than working for something he is trying but still not confident and different from his dreams. Our kind words are always consistent and have a similar point of view. And when I came back from Japan for the second time, things changed and all my friends' messages were intertwined are weird, like different individuals at night cutting me off from communication and emotional healing for a while. And it made me start to think like the boy Ryu who wanted to be an anime artist and we fell in love for a while after I first broke up with my boyfriend who lied to me about his mother. Three months later, I said, "If you still love me and know your mistakes, I will answer you. But high school student Ryu contacted me and I was very weak at the time, so I cut my hair short. I remember he sent me his puppy video. But I have a secret, like in a dream, there are the voices of many women still attacking me, I cannot continue to love if I am violent, still dangerous, sick and hurt for no reason. And those voices made my heart rocky again and I thought if he kept contacting me it would be dangerous and when I unlocked my boyfriend he came back when I became a different person and kept promises like a soulless plastic doll. And I don't know what these things really mean, I seems to be living in a dream and in another dream.