Finally I pick up my phone and look at the messages from Michael.
Received at 1:43 : Ariya, where did you go?
Received at 1:45 : Please see me when you get back
Received at 1:51 : Ariya, Can you please call me...?
Received at 5:58 : I have meetings for the rest of the day. Hope everything is okay. I'll see you tomorrow. Please have that paperwork done by morning. I want to finalize those accounts.
-M
I look at my screen. Dreading that I never replied. It seemed like he may have been angry that I didn't but I couldn't tell. At least I got the paperwork done. Locking my phone I head out to my car and head home.
I look at my phone again and I see another message.... From Michael.
Hey Ariya,
Can we talk. I just had some bad meetings and would really like to blow off some steam. You know the company so I would love to get your input on some stuff. If you want to help, I'll be at the coffee shop. Let me know.
-M
I start to type.
I'll be there in 15 minutes...
So it's safe to say I didn't keep my promise to myself but he seems to be in need and I feel like I could help him. He said it had to do with meetings.
I walk to the coffee shop because it isn't very far from my house and look inside. I see Michael sitting off in a corner. He looks worn out and disheveled. Which is a new look I haven't seen before. I walk in and he flags me down. A look of relief radiates over him. He stands up and I can see his shirt is untucked. He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.
Hi. I say quietly and sit down. He pushes a coffee towards me and I look at it. It's what you usually get. He says almost defeated.
"What happened?" I ask.
"Basically I went to a meeting with my dad. He is very old fashioned. He believes that I need to grow my business. He has always been so judgmental of how I run my business. He doesn't know what I do. How I help hunters. I don't know what he expects me to do."
He says looking down at his coffee.
"Listen, I may not understand every detail of this company because I was not there to see it built. But from what I know you have achieved a lot for yourself for being as young as you are" his eyes rise quickly and fall back down to his coffee.
"Listen, in the beginning I didn't even know what your company did but seeing what you have done I moved past it. Still am quite fuzzy on the whole supernatural thing...but that's for another conversation" I reach out and touch his hand slightly. A warm sensation travels through my arm and sends little spurts of electricity to my brain. I remove my hand hesitantly thinking I may have overstepped my own boundaries.
He looks up with sad eyes and we just sit there and look into each other's eyes. He looks away and shakes off his mood.
"Thank you for your help Ariya but I really must go now"
"Why?" I manage to mumble out.
"We have an early day tomorrow and it's already 9."
I look at my watch. Where did the time go....
"oh okay" I say trying to hide my emotions. I want to sit here and comfort him. To hug him and tell him everything is going to be alright. But I honestly can't.
He touches my hand quickly and stands there for a minute. I rise and place a tip on the table. "Can I walk you out?"
"I don't want to keep you." I say putting on my jacket and grabbing my phone. A notification pops up from Marcus and I see something flash over Michael's face. I feel like my mind's playing tricks but it looks like jealousy. I push that thought out of my head and he walks quietly behind me. I see his car and turn back to say goodbye and he all but runs into me. My senses are overwhelmed and I can't help but inhale. I look up and he has stopped dead in his tracks. Looking at me with piercing eyes I clear my throat and take a step back. Feeling unprotected and slightly unprofessional. I could see gold and silver flecks in his eyes now disappearing. "Goodnight" I say, starting to turn away...
"Wait" he says with eyes pleading, his eyes follow down to my lips and I start to feel heat in my cheeks. I try not to look at him "I need to go..." he looks down at me almost pouting.
" I'll see you at work tomorrow" I say, pulling away and walking down the street.
I hear a sigh and just keep walking. I pull my jacket closed tighter to protect myself from the cold and pick up my pace. I hate walking at night. It brings back bad memories.....
Getting into my house I check my phone for no new messages. I walk up to my room and grab my laptop to check my emails.
Thank you for helping me....please let me know when you are home safe.
-M
I click my tongue and start typing.
No Problem. I am home. See you tomorrow.
Ariya
I let out my breath and want to type more but hit send. I wish he knew. How much he cares for me has meant. I....think I need to find another job....
I can't keep coming to this fork in the road. Between choosing to continue down this path I am headed. Which is caring deeply for michael. Or walking away and losing this amazing job which I don't exactly think I deserve but that doesnt matter. I look down at my arms and trace the tattoos with my eyes. The lines twisting and turning, all with meaning and making me lose my anxiety. I need a new tattoo.... I quickly text my tattoo artist.
Hey, Have time for a quick tattoo? --A
Absolutely, What are you thinking? --D
I'm thinking of the sun on the back of my neck. Nothing too intricate. Simple and just for me... --A
Sweet. Head over, I'll finish up what I'm doing and I'll be ready for you. --D
Okay so maybe i didn't need another tattoo but maybe i did. I have been through alot and I need some sort of relaxation. Sometimes getting a tattoo will do that for me. And I need to remember that even in the darkness the sun is always there. I run by my house and throw on a tank top grabbing a quick bite to eat and head out. Deciding not to say anything to anyone I drove to the shop.
Daniel has always been super nice to me. Always accommodating, and respectful he has been my tattoo artist from the beginning. He doesn't judge me and I don't pry about his life. He seems to be a quiet guy and I like that. Not having to make small talk about the weather to lessen the awkwardness. Because there is none. I sit in the chair with my head down as he is adding the stencil on my skin. I agree on the placement and he begins. I study my breaths and focus on the needles following the sun. Within no time he announces that he is done, I pay him and head out.
My neck is a little sore but nothing I can't handle. I feel a release of anxiety and stress and feel less weight on my heart. Daniel helped me with my mom's tribute tattoo. I owe him so much for all the amazing work he has graced me with. I smile to myself and drive home.
Looking at my phone I see that I have messages from Michael and I sigh. This guy sure does not make it easy to forget him.
Are you okay? --M
I haven't heard from you --M
Please message me if you get this --M
I can't tell if something is wrong with my phone, maybe you are asleep. --M
I guess I will see you at work tomorrow... we need to talk --M
I sigh and realize I need to tell him I'm going to start looking for another job.
Hey, I've been busy...had to get some stuff done. I agree we need to talk. Ill see you tomorrow when I get in --A
I don't picture this conversation being very fun. So it's safe to say when I woke up this morning there was nothing I could do to assure myself that everything was going to go smoothly.
I step into my office and hear Michael's voice, it's muffled but I can still make out some of the words "I told you I am going to take care of it" Take care of what? ME? Did i do something wrong. It can't be me...
I knock quietly on the door. "I got to go....Come in please"
I open the door slowly and scan the room. I see Michael looking distressed and he stands as I walk into the room. "Please have a seat" He points to a chair close to his desk.
"Whatever I did, I'm sorry" I mumble. He looks at me confused. "What could you have done?"
"I'm not sure, but usually when someone asks to speak with you its not a good thing"
"I just needed to ask if you were alright, with everything you have gone through its safe to say I was and still am a little worried"
"I think I need to find another job..." I say looking down at my hands
"You can't...I mean" he gathers his composure "why?" I look at Michael and see the sadness in his eyes.
"You are right that a lot has happened to me and I'm still trying to process it. And I can't take anymore time off of work so i figured it may be easier for me to find another job where I can forget about my problems"
"What can I do to keep you, I can give you paid time off if that is what you need. You work hard enough and you know what you are doing...I would hate for this company to lose such an amazing asset"
Which wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear. I can't deny that I don't have feelings for this man in front of me. Something that would never be reciprocated.
"I just feel that I can't properly deal with my personal life"....or my feelings for you
"Just take a few paid days off and think about it please" I nod and get up to leave "Also ariya please answer your texts I don't want to think something bad has happened to you...."