"Ben, you are coming again? Did you miss something, Ben?" said Sarah who was a little confused when Ben came back after saying goodbye when he took her mother and younger brother back from the hospital.
Being asked like that, Ben became smiling. His anger and annoyance at his mother disappeared instantly when he saw Sarah.
"Ben, why did you come back? Why didn't you answer, anyway? Did you miss something?" Sarah repeated her confusing question.
"Nothing is left behind. I'm just lazy at home. My mama home" replied Ben, who seemed lazy to discuss it.
Ben seemed to be silent as he sat on the terrace and his gaze fixed on the night sky.
The astonished Sarah could only remain silent. She then went inside the house, leaving Ben alone on the terrace. However, a few moments later, Sarah came back with a cup of hot tea and biscuits in the jar she had brought with her.
"You're not going to sleep yet, are you? Or I'll just go home if I disturb you," Ben said languidly without looking at Sarah who was sitting beside him.
"I wanted to go to sleep after closing the door, but you came. Well, I will sit down for a while, okay? Ben, what's wrong? Even though, when I was waiting for Stu and mama, your face was not like this!"Sarah said she wanted to know.
"If I say I miss you and just want to be here to see you, what will it be?" replied Ben who started to glance at Sarah.
Sarah's face started to turn red with embarrassment. Fortunately, the dark atmosphere of the night can disguise the red hue on her face.
"What are you missing, anyway? You come here every day. You're ridiculous!" said Sarah casually, "I'm serious, Ben. Why do you keep joking, anyway?" Sarah asked again.
"I'm serious too, Sarah. Even though I see you every day, I think it's still lacking. You know that, don't you? People say missing is hard," said Ben until Sarah returned to a confused face.
"I mean that's hard because it's not decreasing day by day, it's increasing. It's like I miss you, Sarah. Weird, huh?" replied Ben with a sad smile.
'That's how much you love me, Ben? But, I can't reply. Sorry, Ben,' Sarah answered in her heart as she turned her head away from Ben's sad gaze.
"My mama is angry because I said I love you,"
Ben's sentence this one immediately made Sarah's gaze turned back to him. But Sarah didn't know what to say to Ben in response.
"Why does my path of choosing you keep getting blocked, anyway? Why do I feel like I'm in love with you like it's always wrong in everyone's eyes? And even you," said Ben sadly. Then he looked at Sarah's confused face, "I was right, right? Even you can't even accept me even though things have changed so much?" he continued asking.
Sarah was silent as she looked down. Silence ensued with Sarah and Ben's silence. Even though it wasn't long, Sarah spoke and started the conversation again.
"What's the story, Ben? Why is your mother angry? She already knows what kind of person I am?" asked Sarah, starting the conversation again.
Ben tells about the difference in determination between himself and his mother, starting with the lecturer's complaint. Without reducing or adding to the story, Ben expressed his love for Sarah in front of his mother.
The mother who fainted when told about Sarah who had a baby recently was also told by Ben to Sarah, and when she heard the story, Sarah felt completely wrong and regret covers her mind.
"You can't do this, Ben! Aren't you afraid your education will be disrupted? Don't make us an excuse to be lazy, Ben!"
"Like it or not, you are still dependent on your parents. You have to obey and continue to make your parents proud, Ben!"
"Don't you think that your parents taught you expensively? Did they spend a lot of money just for you who weren't serious about your education?" Sarah added again.
But Ben just listened, not in the least offended by Sarah's words.
"If my parents forbid me not to see you again, what will it be?" Ben suddenly uttered a sentence that made Sarah stop commenting.
"If that's what your parents want, just do it, Ben," Sarah's answer broke Ben.
"Believe it, Ben. God's blessing is the blessing of parents. We will not be able to repay the services and love of our parents. So, at least we can't go against our parents," continued Sarah, which made Ben in front of her sad.
"I'm so worthless in your eyes, Sarah? That's how much you want me to stay away from your life, so you say this to me?"
"By God, when my mama was angry and forbade me to see you again, I was very sad, Sarah! I didn't think you would add to my sadness!" said Ben full of disappointment with Sarah's words.
"Ben, I didn't mean it like that. Who said I didn't respect you, Ben? I'm grateful to have you beside me. You always help me all the time. When did I say you were nothing to me?" asked Sarah, who was also already in a rage.
"You never said that, but your attitude towards me just now has revealed everything. Okay, if you want me to stay out of your life, I'll go, Sarah!" said Ben in a slightly raised voice. Ben's disappointment was evident in Sarah's response.
Sarah couldn't answer or say anything as Ben rose to his feet in disappointment. Without another word, Ben walked out of the house and into his car.
From the gleam of the car headlights, Sarah and Ben looked at each other. Ben's face was sad and disappointed with her, Sarah could see, and it made Sarah feel very guilty.
And from Ben's side when he looked at Sarah who was silent and didn't try to call Sarah again, the feeling of being crushed kept on tempting his heart to be even more angry and disappointed in Sarah, and it looks like it won. Ben left without giving any warning, leaving Sarah's house on a cold night.
'I didn't mean that, Ben. I don't hate you at all and I'm glad you left my life. I also don't understand my feelings,' Sarah thought quietly.
Ben's departure makes Sarah feel guilty. Although she also didn't know clearly, which part of her words she was guilty of.
If what she said telling Ben to obey his parents was wrong in Ben's eyes, then Sarah couldn't do much even though it was the truth.
But Sarah knew very well that Ben wasn't angry with Sarah's words, and Sarah also understands, Ben is sad because Sarah allowed him to follow the words of his parents who wanted Ben to stay away from Sarah's life for the good of Ben's future.
The feeling of heaviness continued to hang in Sarah's mind. Sarah didn't sleep all night and tried to call Ben's cell number several times. But sadly, Ben doesn't heed Sarah's call.
Ben wasn't in a position to argue with Sarah anymore tonight. Ben comes home sad and disappointed.
Sad because his parents refuse to accept his feelings for Sarah, the woman who has always been his heart's goal, and disappointed because Sarah instead of comforting his uneasiness, only made him sadder.
Ben tries to bury his head under the pillow trying to close his eyes to forget for a moment the problems in his mind. But sadly difficult.
Ben hopes that by closing his eyes and sleeping, the next day when he wakes up, all his problems will be gone. But the reality is difficult. Ben couldn't sleep.
Amid Ben's uneasiness, there was a knock on his bedroom door.
"Wait!" replied Ben, snorting roughly. He got up from his bed to open the door was knocked, what he was sure, it must be his mother who wanted to talk to him.
And yes, the mother was standing in the doorway and walking into the room when Ben let her in.
"Where are you from, Ben?" asked the mother in a calm tone. But Ben didn't answer.
The mother who looked calmer than when he left earlier, looked at Ben who looked still annoyed. Mrs. Lauren sat on the edge of Ben's bed and faced Ben who looked blankly in any direction.
"Are you mad at me, son? You're angry because I don't like it when you're around the girl you like? But where's my harm, Ben? I'm your mother, who gave birth to you, who always wants the best for you! You're my only child, Ben!" the mother said while looking down and crying.
Ben direct turned to his mother and drew closer. Sadly, Ben hugged his mother from the side and rested his head on her shoulder.
"Sarah is kind, Mama. Sarah is different from any woman I have ever met. It's just that she's not lucky enough like this. But she never complains, so I don't care who Sarah is either Mama," Ben said calmly.