"Ahhn." The wails of a girl and the grunts of a man reverberated around the corridors. A drawn out kind of voice grasping for air.
Now I wasn't that much of a kid to not know what it was. Brothels were common in my town and the same sound would play on repeat whenever I went past them. Honestly, I wouldn't have cared about it if they weren't doing it at the crack of dawn in the church. There was a limit to debauchery. One that they clearly crossed.
I wasn't the most religious person, only remembering God's name when it was convenient. My parents on the other hand were true believers in the divine. So even though I didn't believe in it, I at the very least had some respect.
Or at least more than the worshippers of this religion did... Evidently.
'Some people were just irredeemable.'
You know what, I shouldn't concern myself with this. As I remembered what I was here for, the smile returned to my face while a part of my heart sank. Happy but uncomfortable.
I was about to meet Luno. I ignored the sound of thumps and started walking again in the other direction. There was no way that she was there. It was probably a nun and a priest getting it on early in the morning when no one was around.
Looking at it more rationally, they were just humans too. And humans get frustrated-
"Grab me! Ugh, there!"
"!!" I halted immediately!
WHAT? EH? That doesn't make sense. At all.
Wha-I... Huh? I knew that voice. No, at least, I thought I did!
My heart was already beating quickly because I was- But it started to beat even quicker. Hell, I could almost hear it beat out of my chest. My ears were pulsating with every beat. I couldn't think straight.
No way.
BUT I KNEW THAT VOICE!
Did I not want to believe- it? No, I wanted to confirm my suspicions? What suspicions in the first place? I mean- There's no way. Absolutely no fucking way.
NO! I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING!
Leaving my initial goal aside, my body instinctively followed some foreign moans through the corridor behind me. A familiar voice that made sounds I had never heard it make before. A voice that should not have made those sounds. The tips of my temples were bulging? I was short of breath, but not quite suffocating.
'There was no way right? Surely!'
"Uhhhm~"
My steps were slow, dragging across the marbled floor. My eyes were starting to burn. The light scattered by the dust in the air didn't quite reach inside all that well, or maybe it was because all the doors were closed but it was getting darker and darker.
It took a while for me to cross the main chamber, or maybe it didn't, I couldn't think straight. I was gasping for breath with every reverberation of that voice.
With every step, the voice only got louder. Again and again and again and again.
I stepped harder and harder and harder and harder. Further, slower, my feet weren't leaving the ground anymore. I could smell a sweet scent, that of smoke and the district.
"Come on, don't stop now!~" The voice was now only a second away. And I was close enough to know, close enough to throw my doubts away. My quivering feet came to a halt. Within the dark depths of this corridor, there was light leaking out of an open door. The only open door in the entire area.
The only room with people in it.
My fingers ran across the wall as I turned at the door.
It was just an open door. But an open door through which I saw two bodies entwined and lips connected. A face I knew all too well, and the other I couldn't even begin to recognise. A sight I couldn't understand.
Or didn't want to understand. A sight I wanted to deny with all my might.
Under the clothes- hugging? Who was I lying to? Who was I trying to protect?
There was no covering this-
Against the nightstand, my childhood friend, first lov- only love, my fiancee, my life's wish, the one that woke me with a smile everyday- was with a man that wasn't me. Indulging in the one indulgence she wasn't allowed to by the cloth. Amidst defilement and degeneracy. A face of unmistaken ecstasy.
Disgust and euphoria.
I stopped breathing, I wanted to throw up- there were stones in my stomach, my legs went limp, the tip of my ears were burning, my eyebrows furrowed in a cringe, and my eyes burnt as if someone threw salt in them.
I wanted to run away. If you ignore the problem it solves itself, right? Nonetheless, I couldn't do anything.
I wanted to confront her as a man would. But I could do nothing.
'Surely she had a reason?'
NO! FUCK! THERE WAS NOTHING THAT COULD JUSTIFY THIS!
DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITH MY RING ON HER FINGER? SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME. WE WERE SUPPOSED TO ONLY BELONG TO EACH OTHER! IT WAS AN OATH! DID THAT MEAN NOTHING? DID NOTHING MEAN ANYTHING?
FUCKKKK!
This was a betrayal. My heart was burning, I was seething with rage. And in the thick of it all, the food I carried here for her- the food Mom made for her, fell from my hands.
'Tell Luno I sent love.' My ass.
I was almost sure that I threw it out of spite. With how tightly I was gripping it there was no way it slipped.
But my mind was so engrossed in the violation in front of my eyes that I felt nothing.
The sound of metal on the marble below, the food spilt over my shoes. I didn't feel it burn.
"Who's there?!" The man shouted as he turned around. There was no hiding. I did nothing to hide anyway. She was MY fiancee.
If I could see them, they could see me too… All they had to do was turn around.
Luno slipped her garment on and fixed her dress immediately. The robe of a saint. She was defiled, dirty, disgusting. Her eyes met mine.
Just like the blood had left my face, it left hers' as well. Her mouth opened but not a word came out. Her eyes started to shiver.
"El-Elyan… What are you d-doing here?" Luno reached her hand out.
I tried to step forward but my legs were locked in place. I didn't want to be in the same room as them. I wanted to run away.
My mind was drawing a blank.
The scene felt more like I was experiencing it as a spectator than anything. I could almost see myself doing nothing from another's point of view. But what was I even supposed to do?
The moment I saw her like this, our relationship ended. There was no saving this, and I was never going to look at her the same way ever again. I would have had a more pleasant time poking my eyes out than looking at her.
The image wasn't leaving my mind, I couldn't forget anything.
How do you even confront a situation like this?
"Here- thi-" She tried to speak. But her voice irked me. The pale face gradually got more and more flushed. Aftermath? Guess you can't get out of the mood immediately.
My eyes started digging into hers.
"How could you?" I believe a minute had passed. I exhaled for the first time after witnessing the scene.
"No, this I-I can explain." She waved her hands to cover whatever she wanted to. Her dress went all the way back down in a second, and aside from her roughed up hair, she was all prim and proper.
Take aside that flushed face, and you couldn't tell what she was doing. Well, unless you noticed the naked ass of the man beside her.
'She was already used to covering herself up at a moment's notice, wasn't she?'
"I mean, there is nothing to explain. I saw everything…" There was no point in hiding. No matter how quick she was, the scene was enough to be stuck in my memory. "I saw how you- how you did tha- I-. After all that we had had to give up." I wanted to be more confident with my words but it was impossible.
I was a normal man. Being imposing wasn't in my nature.
"NO, I DIDN'T!" She shouted but couldn't follow up. "I didn't. Just listen to me! Please!" Luno couldn't speak again. Her words were just a big pile of nothing.
She was trying to figure out a story she could come up with. Anything that could excuse her actions. But her eyes only met mine for a second before they started darting around again.
Long golden locks, that didn't get cut like a nun's. Still the enchanting face. But everything about her looked so ugly.
"I don't want to listen to you-" I sniffled. My brows quaked. "I mean. Fuck! How even could you?" My nails started to dig into my skin.
"We can talk this out… Yes. Just be calm." She gently waved her hands as if she was talking to a dog.
"How ca-! How can you expect me to be calm, after doing such a thing?!!" I didn't want to hear it. Her excuses. Every word that left her mouth was a lie. There was no trust between us. The relationship we had built since we were kids, was gone instantly. "I can't believe you've done this."
"No, El."
"Ah… Is he that village boy fiance you talked about? The little doormat who worked at that farm." The guy finally spoke up after putting his pants back on. This woman talked to him about me? A doormat? What did she even tell him?
The man looked so off. He was older. Significantly. Maybe in his 30s. He was well kept. His beard was slightly longer than mine, and a strand of white hair was starting to grow on his head. He had a prideful demeanour, but he only came off as being an absolute douchebag.
He looked like someone who believed that he was always right.
And they still did it. The fact she even talked about me makes my stomach turn. How vile. My nose was hurting from frustration.
AND A GUY LIKE HIM?!
Despite his mature appearance, compared to me, this guy was built like a twig and was barely tall enough to reach my chin. For a second I wanted to snap him. He lit a pipe and put it in his mouth.
Loose and a man with seemingly no morals.
"With a guy like him?" I muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.
He was the epitome of what every man shouldn't be. And yet he was the one I was betrayed for. I felt pathetic even comparing ourselves. I mean what right did she have to make me feel inferior? It wasn't this man, in particular, it was any man she could have done it with. The person at fault here was Luno.
SHE KNEW SHE HAD SOMEONE THINKING OF HER AT ALL TIMES! SHE KNEW SHE HAD SOMEONE WAITING FOR HER ALWAYS!
I had felt anger before. When people mistreated Mom, or when the kids bullied my Sister. I felt anger when Luno was deserted by the town after her father burnt the town's church burnt down.
But I never felt anger on my account. I never got angry for my own sake.
Every memory that I had of her. Every moment I could look back on with a smile turned into something that would haunt me.
This was a nightmare.