Summary:
"He's really small," Satoru observes, sitting cross-legged on the ground across from Toji. Megumi squirms in Toji's lap, dark eyes wide as he takes in his new outdoor environment with visible curiosity.
"He's a baby," Toji replies, lifting Megumi up and setting him down so he can crawl around. "How big did you think he was gonna be, stupid?"
Yeah, he's still figuring out this parenting thing.
Notes:
u should probably read the first work in the series before reading this one since it's a direct continuation pretty much! it's not long either, just about 1.8k.
but basically: alternate universe where different things happen and they're allowed to grow up a little happier. thats all i want.
(See the end of the work for more notes.)
No one has to tell Toji that he's a shitty parent.
He already knows he isn't gonna qualify for father of the year when every two weeks he has to remind himself that selling your kid is, technically, against the law. Not that he's considering it because he's pure evil or anything (is he?), but sometimes when Megumi won't stop screaming and he's holed up in his bedroom, plugging his ears with his pillow and sinking into one of his downward spirals, he thinks maybe he's worse off trying to raise the kid himself.
It's just that—the Zen'in family might be shit for him, but Toji can sniff out the reserves of cursed energy in his son's year-old body from a mile away. Naobito'd kill to get his hands on a kid like that, especially with the gossip going around that one of his twin daughters turned out just like Toji. If that little phenomenon keeps happening, the Zen'in family might just go extinct all by itself.
But the fact of the matter is that anyone with a strong technique gets treated like royalty in that shithole. And Megumi—though he hasn't developed one yet—is definitely one of the better candidates.
So yeah, maybe he's still mulling it over. Just a little. Although, given Satoru's fascination with his kid, he might have to reconsider.
"He's really small," Satoru observes, sitting cross-legged on the ground across from Toji. Megumi squirms in Toji's lap, dark eyes wide as he takes in his new outdoor environment with visible curiosity. Kind of makes Toji feel bad for leaving him in daycare or a cramped apartment all the time.
"He's a baby," Toji replies, lifting Megumi up and setting him down so he can crawl around. "How big did you think he was gonna be, stupid?"
At this point, Satoru's too seasoned to take the bait. He just leans forward so he can continue to examine Megumi's chubby face, weirdly focused.
It's like Toji thought—he's never been around anyone else his age, much less someone this much younger than him. The kid's staring at Megumi like he's never seen a baby before.
Megumi stares right back, lifting one hand to grasp at Satoru's nose. The kid jerks away, surprise flitting across his usually flat expression. He leans back on his palms, a furrow between his brows as he looks at Toji. "Hey, how'd you get permission to bring him?"
"Huh? Oh, I didn't." Toji scratches at his cheek, watching Megumi scoot closer to the kid. There's drool hanging off his chin. "When someone notices I'll explain."
Satoru actually laughs at that. Surprise surprise, the kid has some range. But he seems to take Toji's answer in stride and hunches forward again, waving a finger in front of Megumi's face. Megumi goes cross-eyed trying to follow it.
"If you make him dizzy, he'll barf," Toji comments, observing with slight amusement. Even if he's considered forking his son over to the Zen'ins in exchange for cash, he can still admit the kid is cute. Except when he's screaming his brains out, but he's convinced himself that the shrieking banshee that emerges sometimes at night is actually a body-possessing demon rather than his twelve-month-old son. Lessens the guilt about the whole "selling your kid" thing.
"No he won't," Satoru replies, sounding awfully certain for someone who's never been a parent. "This won't make him dizzy, anyway."
"Sure. Fuck around and find out. Do you know how many of my black shirts he's ruined? They smell like that fake milk stuff now."
"Uh-huh. I'm gonna carry him." He states it rather than asking, but his eyes still flit to Toji's like he's waiting for the go-ahead.
Toji flaps a hand. "Yeah, just don't drop him."
"I know."
Satoru pulls in a deep breath, shuffling so that he's positioned in a crouch. Then he reaches out and grabs Megumi by the armpits, gathering him up in his arms and shifting him around as he works out the most comfortable way to balance Megumi's weight. He finally settles with setting him against his hip, one arm tucked under his butt and the other curled around his back. Toji raises an eyebrow. Right, the kid's supposed to be some sort of prodigy. Not that carrying a baby correctly is supposed to be hard, but that's...definitely better than Toji's first trial run.
Megumi doesn't appear bothered by the manhandling, more focused on Satoru's fluffy white hair. Satoru winces a little when he gets a fistful, but otherwise seems more set on proving he can hold Megumi without a problem. Yeah, right. Toji can see his skinny arms shaking already.
"Now what?" Satoru asks, readjusting his grip while trying to make it look like he isn't. Toji frowns.
"You're carrying him. Congratulations. Whaddaya mean, now what?"
Satoru scowls. "I don't know, that's why I'm asking you."
Toji rubs the back of his neck, reaching out with his other hand to balance Megumi's heavy head as he begins to tilt sideways off Satoru's shoulder. Satoru looks a little annoyed by the interference, but Toji isn't letting his son eat dirt for the sake of the kid's pride. "I don't know what you think babies are, but the most you can do with 'em is hold 'em or feed 'em or change their pee-filled diapers. That's about it."
"Well, that sounds boring."
Toji tries not to bristle. He does have some parental dignity. No one talks shit about his kid. "Don't worry, he'll grow eventually and will probably get more exciting. Maybe I'll even start paying you to babysit him someday."
That's a lie. If Satoru ever babysits his kid in the distant future, Toji is one-hundred percent planning on squeezing it out of him for free. The brat's family is loaded, anyway.
Satoru frowns down at Megumi's drooly chin. His tiny fist is still entangled in Satoru's hair and he's pretty intent on getting it into his mouth. Toji grins at the discomfort on the kid's face. "Want me to take him from you?"
"No, I've got him." Satoru's expression morphs into something more like determination. And a bit of stubbornness. "He's not even that heavy."
"Sure thing, noodle arms. Even if your technique's hot shit, you better start training up that body if you don't want someone like me to gut you like an expired yogurt cup." He's only half-serious. Most people would need an impressive arsenal of cursed tools to get past a technique like that, so the kid's mostly safe. Unless he ever went up against someone like Toji. The worm in his stomach quivers a little on instinct.
Satoru, to his credit, doesn't appear very insulted. "I'm eleven, do you want me to look like a bodybuilder or something?"
"Pfff." The mental imagery's pretty funny, he can't lie. Toji suppresses his smirk as he pokes his own abdomen, ordering the worm to settle down before it gives him indigestion. "All I'm saying is, when it comes to physical training, your best teacher would probably be me. Tell your clan head if she pays me double I'd be willing to take on the extra work."
"No, I don't want to learn from you," Satoru replies snottily, and sits back down with Megumi to presumably give his arms a break. Megumi immediately whines at being confined to the ground again, so Toji scoops him up before it can descend into a full-blown tantrum. Then he stares pointedly at Satoru.
"Why the hell not? I'd be a way better trainer than that geezer you call your sensei."
"I've never even seen you fight," Satoru replies, raising an eyebrow. His gaze, however, is locked somewhat longingly on Megumi. Someone clearly gets attached fast. "It's not like I know how good you are."
Well shit, that's true. Still, the fact that Toji got hired to be this ungrateful brat's bodyguard should really be enough of a hint about his skill level. Ticks him off a little. "You wanna try me? I could put you on the ground in ten seconds flat, kid."
The second the words leave his mouth, he wants to kick himself. Picking physical fights with his charge is the fastest way to get his ass fired. Especially since said charge is a child.
Satoru just stares at him, unimpressed. "Not if you can't touch me."
Aaaaand never mind, the child is a cocky little shit. Toji tucks Megumi against his chest and sneers. "Not if you can't touch me. Brat, do you think your enemies are gonna play fair? I've got a cursed tool that forcibly deactivates any cursed technique with me right now. What would you do if I whipped it out and attacked you with it?"
Megumi ruins the narrow-eyed pause that follows with a loud babble as he slobbers all over the left side of Toji's cheek. Toji closes his eyes and exhales through his nose. He swears he hears Satoru giggle, but by the time his eyes open again the brat's face is a blank sheet.
"You won't do that," Satoru finally replies with a shrug. "Because then you won't get paid."
Touché.
"Don't use my own lines against me," Toji grunts, shifting Megumi so that the slobber transfers to his shoulder instead. He's probably hungry. "If you don't have a real answer, that's a problem. I'm gonna talk to your clan head later about being put in charge of your combat training, got it?"
His forehead wrinkles. "You're just in it for the money."
"Obviously. Didn't I already tell you that?"
Satoru makes a face at him. "You're kind of a scumbag."
Toji snorts. "Yeah, yeah, it's how I make my living. Listen, are you cool with me training you? Because if you are, you should pester your clan head about it too. Be easier to convince 'em if it's coming from both of us."
"I didn't say I was," Satoru replies immediately, staring back at him like it's a challenge. Toji suppresses a groan.
"Why do you try so hard to make my life difficult?" he asks. "I do so much for you. Help me out here."
"No," Satoru says, and Toji can see the corners of his mouth twitching. The brat gets some sort of sick, twisted amusement out of tormenting him, he just knows it.
But honestly? Two can play at that game. Toji tilts his chin at him for a moment, then turns away towards the large black bag he'd brought with him this morning. Megumi's baby things are stuffed inside haphazardly.
"Fine," he says, unzipping it and rooting around. God, he really needs to reorganize. "Guess you don't want to help feed Megumi."
Satoru's face twitches. Bingo.
"He gets all quiet when you feed him," Toji explains, like it's no big deal. There's the baby formula. He's pretty sure he's supposed to start weaning him off of it at this point, but Megumi's teething and likes to chew on the rubber bottle. "No squirming, nothing. He just lays there in your arms. It's cute as hell."
"I'm not stupid," Satoru complains, but he looks pained. "I know what bribery is."
Toji shrugs, grinning. "Doesn't matter if you want the bribe bad enough, does it?"
The battle waging itself behind the kid's oversized blue eyes is so fucking clear Toji can almost see his own reflection. He holds up the bottle, expectant.
"Fine." Satoru stabs a finger his way, looking like he's irritated by his own self. "Okay, fine. You can train me, but if you suck, you're dropped. Give me the bottle."
"Hah!" Megumi startles a little at the volume of Toji's voice. He dials it back a little. "Hah. Loser, I knew you'd cave. Go fill this up to the halfway line with water and then heat it 'til it's lukewarm. If it's too hot I'll kill you."
Satoru snatches the bottle from him and flips him off as he hurries away, the bounce in his step a little too eager. Toji's mouth drops open in delight.
"Teach that to Megumi!" he calls towards Satoru's retreating back, and snorts when Satoru lifts both hands to do it again.