I waited in my class alone until school ended. I didn't see a single person around me nor in the class as if the teachers were too celebrating her victory, making me look like a pathetic character here. As the school ending bell rang, I went outside to wait for dad but he was late while brother was nowhere to be seen.
"He must be gone to meet her as she said", I thought, but I still waited. I waited for fifteen minutes but when I still didn't find him I went to the place Freya told my brother to come to. I walked toward a narrow road which led to the back of the school, but the moment I saw both of them standing, I hid.
"So, why did you call me here?" the brother asked.
"Umm, can't you guess why I called you here?" Freya said.
"I don't, so hurry. Ayla must wait for me and she is scared of being alone", he said, making me feel relieved, but I didn't know it was not for long.
"Ok let me tell you", she said.
"I fell in love with you the moment I saw you, so will you go out with me?" she said, making my heart beat faster, but some of my feelings saying brother won't say yes. He is going to refuse her confession, but I still waited.
"Oh is that so? OK let's go out", he said, making my tears come out.
What just happened? Brother, what have you done? You ruined everything, brother. I kept scolding him inside while a pair of hands let me hide my face in his arms. I didn't know who it was. I don't have any idea if there is someone who cares for me and has enough courage to pull me and hold me when I cry. I don't know, but the way he is gripping me in his arms sure makes me feel safe. It's warm.
But the moment I came to my sense I ran without looking at his face. I didn't wait for dad or Jace but booked a cab and left for home. I don't think anyone is even going to worry about me even if they see my dis shelved face. I don't have any idea what the cab driver is thinking about, either. Is he too going to sympathize with me? Don't know, but I kept looking outside when suddenly he asked.
"Did something happen to you?" he asked, while I looked at him with my teary eyes.
"Huh!"
"You kept crying from the moment you came inside and you have serious injuries on your face, too. So is it something happened at your school?" he asked.
"Maybe or maybe not", I said with a smile.
"You don't look at all. Should I drive to the hospital?" he asked. He sounds worried, but I don't need any more worries, which will only make me feel like a burden on my shoulder.
"No, drive me home. I'm sure I am fine", I said, trying to be ok.
In a few minutes, I reached home while mom was talking with our neighbour.
"Ayla, you are alone?" she asked me from far away but I didn't reply so she started to follow me.
"Ayla, wait", she asked.
I didn't hear her but kept walking toward my room. She followed me to my room but before she could enter I locked the room from inside but I'm sure she saw my face, my injuries, my sorrow and my pain too, which I don't think of any matter anymore.
She kept banging on my door for a while. For over 45 minutes she kept calling my name. She kept saying, "Ayla, come out. We can talk about what happened. I will hear you whatever you say, so come out even if for a minute. Let me look at you."
But nothing reach up to me because of the wall I created by myself. It sure hurt me, but I don't think they are more in pain than me. I'm the one suffering from mental, and physical pain at the same time. Why are they showing us they could feel my pain more than myself? Why?
I didn't change my school uniform nor did I apply for medicine on my face. The wound was still bleeding, but I no longer felt pain. I didn't have my lunch in school, nor did I take a sip of drink from the moment I came home. My throat is getting dry, but does it even matter? Does anyone know my pain? Has anyone ever felt this way? No, right?
Why am I even acting like a kid? Crying like a child, as if someone snatched my coffee and I'm crying complaining because of that? But things are not changing at all. I want to change things, but it's still the same.
It's midnight already.
"Baby, you alright?" he asked slowly from the other side.
I don't know why he chooses this time, but having him here, I feel less burdened.
"Baby, I don't know what happened but didn't I tell you to tell me if something happened? Didn't we make a promise that if something happens you will come and tell me first? You remember, right?" he asked while I nod from inside.
"Yeah I do", I replied in a low tone, but I know he can't listen to me.
"Then why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you wait for me? Why didn't you meet me? Why? Am I that untrustworthy? Don't you trust me at all?" he kept whining like a child but still, I didn't open the door until in a few minutes, his voice stopped coming.
It's good for everyone to leave me. I'm better off alone. Everyone will be happy if I'm not present in their life. I'm just a nuisance and all. Then why bother to think I even exist? It doesn't even matter.
After 1 week
It has been more than a week now. I'm still sitting in the same position. Every day mom comes to ask about me. She even dropped food for me in front of my room, but I never touched it. Dad came at night to ask about me, but I still didn't open the door. Yesterday Jace came asking about me, but he only made me feel angry as if I could slap him if I saw his face right in front of me. Everything is so hurtful.
It's 12 and the sunray kept coming inside my room, making me feel more uneasy, so I went out. When I opened the door, I found none. Of course, there won't be anyone. Brother would be at school, mom must sleep after getting all tired working till now and about dad he should be in his world place. I will just quickly get water for myself, then come back.
I didn't make any noises but went to the hall. But to my surprise, everyone was present in the hall looking at me as if I came from another planet.
"Ayla", Dad called out my name.
He tried to come closer to me, but I stopped him again.
"What happened to you, baby?" he asked.
"Why is your face injured? I could see blood marks on your cheeks and your lips bleeding too. Just what the hell happened to you that day? Why didn't you wait for me?" he kept asking while mom looked at me with a sympathetic look.
"Ayla, speak something", mom said, but I walked toward the fridge and picked a bottle of cold water. I walked toward my room when I saw another presence at the door.
"Who is it?" I asked in a low tone.
When I called he came inside showing himself clearly in front of my eyes. My eyes are not even opening properly because of locking myself in the room.
"Who are you?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.
He slowly walked toward me and said, "It's me, the class head Aaron king."
His presence made my heart beat faster. I don't know why he kept popping out in front of my eyes, even though I don't want to see him. Why do I see him feel so uneasy? He sure is something who made me feel so weird as if I'm not in myself.
"Why are you here?" I asked.
"I am here to hand you over the notes which you will need as you didn't attend school last week." He extended the note while I snatched the note without even showing my gratitude.
"Ayla, wait! We need to talk", my brother called, but before anyone could get a hold of me, I ran upstairs while running my feet and hit a corner of the stairs making me miss a step.
Ahhhh I'm falling. Yeah, I'm falling. I'm again seeing dark all above my eyes. Is this how am I going to die? Is this the end of my life? I could see all my life moments in front of my eyes as I can never see them in the future.
But all I wanted to say was, "Thanks for having me here."