Crawling out of the bed I felt Izzy's eyes watching me as I moved, "you awake now sweetie?"
"Mama," her bright eyes stared at me, hands outstretched, fingers clasping at thin air, "mama mama mama."
My heart melted.
"Yes, yes, I'm your mama," I crawled back to hover over her, my hair falling to tickle her into a giggle.
Scooping her up I held her to my chest, breathing in her milky scent.
"I'm scared baby," I whispered as my grip tightened on her pyjamas, "I don't want to lose you, I can't lose you again."
The tears I had held back from mourning the child I'd forgotten about came spilling out mingled with Hannah's pain of losing this sweet bundle of joy once before. The tears tickled my cheeks and dripped onto her ebony fluff of hair.
"I'm sorry," I wiped them away hastily with my sleeve, "I think I have to do something really, really stupid and dangerous."
