Chereads / QT: Finding Meaning / Chapter 5 - 1.5

Chapter 5 - 1.5

A knock on the door interrupted as Su Meng and I was lounging on the sofa, watching a drama on the TV. 

It had been four days since Dr. Li allowed Su Meng to visit me, today was the first time she'd been allowed in without supervision and I was allowed to watch a DVD she'd brought. 

This apparently was a TV show we'd watched from start to finish in our college years. 

"Come in," I called out, wondering if it was Dr. Li nipping in to check on us. 

Dr. Wu opened the door with a bright smile and some flowers, "how is my favourite patient?" He asked, not sparing a glance at Su Meng beside me. He walked over to the kitchenette to find a vase and set the flowers on the table.

"I'm g-good," I forced a smile, feeling it impolite not to return one as sincere as his.

His captain then entered, also ignoring Su Meng, and just made himself comfortable on the armchair beside me. 

His close proximity gave me a weird sensation. Goosebumps rose on my arms making me shiver and pull the blanket over me protectively. 

"I guess that's my cue to go," Su Meng's palms slapped against her thighs as she pushed herself up to go. Though she appeared to be trying to hide it, I sensed a clear dislike for the two men in the room. 

"Until next time baby Yue," she ruffled my hair affectionately, then left me alone to face them. 

Why did she have to leave?

"It's nice to see you as affectionate as ever with Miss Su," Dr. Wu took the seat on the opposite side of the sofa, thankfully giving me a bit of space. 

"It comes naturally," I shrugged. It really did. As if the original soul was still here, trying to seek comfort in her presence, I obeyed like a puppet on strings.

Fu Jianyu coughed, clearing his throat, then began to flip through the notes he had some point taken since entering the room. I made a mental note to pay better attention to this man. He seemed to be very good at using Dr. Wu's extroverted personality to hide his actions.

"Uhuh," I hummed, unsure of what Dr. Wu was going on about as he rambled on. Instead, my eyes couldn't budge from studying Fu Jianyu. He appeared different than before, more dishevelled. 

There were creases in his shirt under the jacket, a shadow of a beard he'd had no time or motivation to shave, and dark circles had begun to appear under his strained eyes.

My first impression of this man was of an ice-cold statue. Immaculately sculpted. A greek, marble statue. Beautiful to look at, but cold to the touch, unable to share the warmth of a real body. 

So just what had caused him to deteriorate to this effect?

Steel eyes met mine, piercing through my very being, making my breath hitch. Why was he looking at me like that?

"Ah, so you are admiring my captain's great looks," Dr. Wu teased, suppressing a chuckle.

"No," I blushed, then feeling those eyes piercing me grow colder I unintentionally squeaked, "wait, yes, yes, he looks very handsome."

Dr. Wu was no longer able to hold in his chuckle. 

"Why are you here?" I asked, growing defensive in my embarrassment, "do I need to finish that statement?"

Dr. Wu's smile faded to a bitter grin. "No," then he waved his bare hands, "we're off duty, and Dr. Li finally gave us permission to visit, sorry we're a bit early and interrupted your time with Miss Su."

Was that why she was peeved?

"Oh," was all I could find to say, stumped at his genuine and obvious friendly affection towards Wei Zhiyue. The girl whose body I had stolen. 

Somehow, I felt like I owed him something, both of them something. My soul yearned to connect with the pair, yet no matter how hard I tried to recover a semblance of a memory of them nothing appeared. 

"Who are you to me?" I had attempted not to sound so insensitive and failed miserably. 

"People who care," his face remained genuine, genuine enough that my guard lowered, but only slightly. 

"Okay, so how long have we known each other?" He called me Miss Wei, though I could tell through his informal actions and words how much he wanted to break formalities and show me who he was under the facade of Dr. Wu.

"A long, long time," he let out a heavy sigh, "though for a while we lost contact."

"How? When? Was it due to the orphanage? Did you know Zhi-me before?" In my haste for answers, I'd almost slipped up by talking in the third person.

Colour flushed my cheeks as I fumbled with the blanket, trying to hide as much as me as possible underneath it.

"Our families were all close, we grew up together," he elaborated, "though we've only been back in touch for just over a year now."

"How did we get back in touch? Was it because you saw me on the TV?" Su Meng showed me a few of Zhiyue's music videos under Dr. Li's guidance. She certainly was talented enough to have earned those fans, even I became her fan. Though it made me feel more and more unable to follow in her footsteps. 

Dr. Wu's face darkened, "ah, well, we met again through our job."

"As policemen?" I squeaked, beginning to panic at what Wei Zhiyue had done to get the interest of the police.

There was hesitation clearly written on his face as he stumbled to find the words to continue.

"Just tell me," I cleared my throat and adjusted myself to take whatever it was he had to say.

"Well, we work for a specific department of the central intelligence bureau. Investigating certain crimes of interest…"

"Did I commit a crime?" The panic began to overwhelm me again. I took a deep breath, "touch, hear, sight, smell, and taste." I told myself internally as I searched for each sense to ground myself as taught. 

"No, no, you've done nothing wrong," Dr. Wu's voice was strained, "to be completely honest we were hoping to avoid going over this just yet, but…"

"Please?" I begged, throwing my grounding technique out the window as the anxiety overtook me, "just tell me please?"

"It's about that guy," he mumbled. 

"That guy?" At first, I was unsure of who he meant, but then the grim atmosphere of the room clouded my anxiety making me take a quick mental guess. "Oh right."

After a few minutes of silence, I built up the courage to ask, "what exactly did th-that guy do?"

Dr. Wu looked up from his fumbling thumbs to Fu Jianyu, who then nodded in response. 

"You're agency brought in the police after you'd started to receive some disturbing fan mail, when they tested the evidence a fingerprint that matched one of our cases showed up."

I gulped. Recalling the way the insane guy had treated me in the room, how obsessive and clingy he had been. Was he stalking Wei Zhiyue?

I did my best to push those memories to the back of my mind. 

"What sort of crimes do you guys, erm… investigate?" I asked, trying to figure out who exactly was the man I had killed. 

Again, Dr. Wu looked unwilling to answer, only shaking his head. 

"Please?" Tears began to stream uncontrollably as I leaned towards him on the sofa, letting the blanket fall to the floor. "Tell me, who was he? What did he do?"

Dr. Wu's hands immediately outstretched to steady me, stopping me from practically falling onto his lap.

"Homicide," he glumly responded once I'd calmed down a little.

Homicide… 

That man had killed someone. 

The same hands that had held me, caressed me. That had done that with Wei Zhiyue. 

I pushed Dr. Wu away, just in time to begin hurling up the contents of my dinner onto the blanket below. 

A warm hand stroked my back tenderly, as the other pulled the hair from my face. My eyes widened in surprise to notice it was not Dr. Wu comforting me, but the cold captain. 

His flustered, pained face was the last thing I saw before that familiar sensation of returning to nothingness consumed me.