A life of constantly being wary of those around me. Having little trust in my loved ones. Fighting against accusations and fearing threats. Is this the life I will be living in the near future?
Sighning in frustration I laid my head on the small table in my room. The sound of my bedroom door slamming shut drew my attention as I saw Linda enter the room. No doubt returning from the task I had entrusted to her.
"Malady I've returned with your meal. Chef Andrew has prepared a serving of freshly baked potato diced into bite-sized pieces, grilled chicken with a savory sauce prepared by the chef himself. And for the health of malady a serving of stir-fried vegetables." I smiled at her professionalism. Her attitude and behavior changing as the days flew by.
"You can stop with the formalities Linda. No one is around to hear you." I said in annoyance. I admired her ability to adapt to life in the palace, but having her speak formally to me every day was starting to make me uncomfortable. Her casual conversations and relaxed posture were missed.
"I'm aware of that but it would rob me of the joy of seeing you uncomfortable. That's too good to give up. Besides the guards might have heard how "disrespectful" I am by now." She said in mock worry. Her immature self coming to life after days of being suppressed.
"What a tragedy that would be." I said as I dramatically threw my head back, placing the back of my hand against my forehead faking distress. Her laughter filling the room as she held onto her stomach.
Smiling at her childish behavior I asked the question I was patiently awaiting a response to. "How did my mother and Scarlet say when they heard I wasn't coming," I asked as she served the food she brought from the kitchen. My first proper meal for the week filled the room with its intoxicating aroma. The scent enticing my appetite. Eager to have my first bite.
"I would have to say they accepted my excuse of you being overwhelmed by your new responsibilities and unable to meet them for a while quite well, since they can't lash out at you in the palace. Scarlet even smiled and said it was fine. But I knew she was lying because the vein in her forehead looked like it was about to pop. Your mother on the other hand did not react to my words as she sat there elegantly drinking a cup of tea. She simply nodded and wished you good health. Then proceeded to say that it was admirable that you're focused on your studies and responsibilities." Tapping her chin for a moment before continuing.
"Overall I would say they gave the impression that they wholeheartedly support you. Scarlet's maids gushed and complimented her for being understanding of her little sister's situation. And holding no grudges. Although I knew better than to trust false appearances. They were surely angered by my words." Linda said while I took a bite of the steaming hot potato. The rich, creamy potato melting inside my mouth. A moan of delight escaping my lips as my hunger subsided.
Using my knife to cut the perfectly grilled meat into pieced I felt a moment of disappointment. I had hoped that their impatience would get me some time to prepare for Prince Marcus's return. Giving me a reason to not meet them.
"It's a shame they didn't do anything. I was hoping Scarlet would flip the table and demand to meet me. Like she does back at the Manor." Although such an Immature behavior was beyond my sister's ways of venting her angry in the eyes of the public.
"I thought it was quite entertaining to watch." She shrugged her shoulders.
"Of course you did. So, how is your training with Ms. Peterson and the head maid?" I asked as I finished my meal. Happy that I was able to have a meal without feeling nauseous.
"It's fine. Although Ms. Peterson seems to have it out for me after I helped you with your last prank. And the head maid is stricter than I thought even if I'm serving you. I think her and the new maids think I'm a pushover." She said as she took a seat in the chair opposite of me. Raising a brow in question I wait for her to continue.
"Then there are the "entitled" maids serving her majesty whose attitudes rival that of your sister's. Their behavior would make any outsider believe they're high-ranking nobles and we're the ugly ducklings invading their property. I've heard they were the ones going around and spreading nasty rumors about you forcing Prince Marcus to call off his engagement to marry you instead. They're even saying that you're twisted and pretending to be caring to the staff to gain their favor and have the coronation and wedding date postponed to next year. And that you're afraid everyone will see your true colors if the wedding proceeds as originally planned." She rambled on in anger as I tiredly sighed. I've wondered why the rumors have yet to cease. But judging from my lack of attempts to make any formal statement of my own to refute these rumors I could understand why it has reached this point. But even knowing that I still didn't feel the need to justify my actions when I did nothing wrong. My words would only fall on deaf ears.
"One of her majesties maid even overheard a discussion she was having about the process to have the date changed back to next week. Though they didn't specify why it has to be changed again. Instead, they keep having stupid conversations when I'm around. It makes my skin crawl how Immature they can be." She shuddered at the thought.
"Did the maid say if they concluded? Are they going to change it again or not?" I questioned with eyes full of curiosity. The outcome of their discussion would determine how soon I would have to embrace my life as a wife of a King. Although there was one thing I couldn't understand. Why ask me to make the final decision for the invitation if they were indecisive?
"They didn't say anything about what decision was made. I only heard that his majesty, King Damon is pushing for the wedding to happen according to plan. Apparently the final decision will be made when Prince Marcus returns. Whatever he decides will help to control the rioting citizens across the kingdom. They're protesting against his decision to choose you. They're unsure if you're fit for the role since you're still young and did not receive the proper training. Without any formal statement from the Royal family, they are asking to have Scarlet be their Queen." She said as I blankly stared at the wall. Was it a coincidence that the citizens desperately wanted Scarlet to rule? Did they truly love her? Or was there another reason for their protesting? Too many questions crossing my mind.
Everything was spiraling out of control. A feeling of helplessness consuming me. Making me feel as if I was a spectator watching someone else's life unraveled at the seams. For each solution a dozen challenges appearing out of nowhere. Nothing making sense.
"There is no changing the situation. I can't blame them for feeling angry and confused. It's only been over a month since that night and we haven't made any progress. It took losing my sister for me to finally make a decision. And Aunt Mariah probably decided to hold off on having me make an appearance to the public to avoid making me uncomfortable." I said as I drew circles around the healing wound on my arm. A habit I had developed over the past few days to calm myself.
"You're right. You've already decided to go through with the wedding. And only you can marry the Crown Prince. After all, he has no intention of continuing his prior engagement with Scarlet." She looked me straight in the eyes pausing for a brief moment. "Unless you would prefer to forsake your family's promise to the king and have Prince Marcus marry the daughter of another noble. Which would make Celine Johnson the next eligible candidate to marry him." My body stiffened.
A feeling of dread coursing through me as the thought of her marrying him made me curl my fingers around the fabric of my dress in anger. My heart skipping a beat. A lump forming in my throat as I turned away from her penetrating gaze. My mind conjuring images of him being with her and raising his heirs. The reality of a possible future sinking in.
Did it bother me when my sister was engaged to the man I had feelings for? Yes. But there was nothing I could do. Only stand by and watch as the days turned to years.
My broken heart and shattered feelings made me turn away from any potential romance. Too afraid to fall for another when a husband could be chosen for me. A reality I had come to terms with.
Then why did it feel like I like it was difficult to breathe?
Why was it painful to think of him marrying another?
Wasn't it only days ago that I wanted to sever all ties to him?
What changed?
I didn't think he could choose anyone but Scarlet if I refused to marry him. To be out of the spotlight. Though a part of me had unconsciously been brought to life at the idea of being his.
Linda's words bringing the treacherous emotion rushing forth ready to remind me that I would be his wife and no other. A silly thought.
"I guess you're right. There is no other choice than to marry him since I've already made up my mind. Besides Celine would be less qualified than me. She's Immature, quick-tempered, and has a pampered life. She would break under pressure when put on the spot." I tried to justify. The words leaving my mouth sounded absurd to me. Was it jealousy that made me say it? I do not know. But my words held only truth.
"You sound a little jealous becks. Is it because I said your man could be swept away? Or have you embraced your desire to be with him?" Linda teased me with a broad smile on her face. My cheeks burning with embarrassment.
"I do not need to answer your questions because I'm not jealous. And I do not have any romantic interest in him. He can do as he pleases. He can marry who he wants. I have far too many things on my mind to focus on such an insignificant emotion such as jealous." I lied as I stood from my seat. It was time for my dance practice with Sir Alex and Arthur and I couldn't be late.
"Whatever you say..." She drawled as we made our way to the ballroom with my guards in tow. Their stone-cold faces remaining the same as they surrounded me.