I stared at my reflection in the floor length mirror. The girl staring back at me was only a shell of her former self. The strong and outgoing Rebekah hid behind sad blue eyes and black circles under her eyes were skillfully covered with light makeup. She was almost unrecognizable.
I absentmindedly touched my strawberry blonde hair that cascaded down my shoulders as I continued to blankly stare at myself in the mirror. My loose black dress and matching black shoes represented the feelings I felt on the inside. Gloomy and empty.
Taking one last look at my reflection in the mirror I slowly looked away before walking towards my bedroom door. There were ten minutes left before Lizzy's body would be moved to its final resting place and I wasn't prepared. I wanted to stop it from happening but that would be unfair to her. She's dead and I have to accept that. Even if it wasn't fair, I needed to accept that she'll never come back.
Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I walked out of my room. As I walked down the silent corridors I couldn't help but notice how the staff went about their duties as if there wasn't a dead body in the palace for the past few days. Of course, it wasn't all that surprising this would be their reaction. After all, the royal family has the power to silence anyone and the staff was probably sworn to secrecy like the elderly couple who found Lizzy's body.
Deciding it would be pointless to dwell on their reactions when my sister is about to buried, I continue to make my way to the entrance of the palace. As I approached the big double panel doors with two guards in uniform stationed at the ends, I saw Arthur and Linda standing in the middle waiting for me.
Linda was wearing a dress similar to the one I'm wearing except for the short lace veil covering her face. That was the only difference in our outfits. As for the veil, it is considered tradition for the personal maids of the grieving family would cover their faces to show their respect to the deceased.
As for Arthur, he wore a black suit with a white shirt underneath. His hair was messy as if he had continuously run his hands through it. He didn't say anything or look directly at me as I walked past him and Linda. I didn't attempt to say anything either, after all, I hadn't forgotten a word of what he said yesterday and I don't think I'll be forgetting it for a while. What he had said was out of line. He had no right to say such words to me. But I guess it was also my fault for forgetting that this was the way Arthur reacted when things didn't go his way. Even so, that doesn't change the fact that he shouldn't have said it.
"We'll be taking the car to the location of the burial and we will be meeting your parents as well as the Royal family there," Linda informed me as I looked at the grey clouds in the sky. It seems that even the weather knew what I was feeling.
"Is that all?" I asked as I turned my attention towards the three black cars waiting for us in the driveway. There was two guards position next to each car. They were all dressed in black suits and sunglasses and equipped with weapons. They kept their eyes on us as we waited for Arthur to finish speaking with the second in command of the palace guards. I assume they were talking about doubling security around the palace and the kingdom after the recent murder. I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt someone touch my hand. Blinking a few times to clear my vision I waited for Linda to speak.
"Yes, Lady Rebekah that is all I was told concerning the burial arrangements," she said as I nodded my head in understanding. I could see the concern look on her face as she spoke but I chose not to comment on it. It wouldn't stop her from worrying.
I closed my eyes as I felt the cool breeze before the rainy season caress my skin. It was somewhat refreshing after the night I had. After all, it was one thing to see your sister's dead body but it is another thing to have nightmares of her raising from the dead only for her to blame you for her death.
Why would I have such a dream? Maybe the reason was that I was completely unaware that she had died. That she was murdered just hours after I left that night. That maybe I could have stayed a bit longer or even asked for her to stay, even if she had completely spilled the beans on a secret I had trusted her with. But most of all it was the fact that I wasn't there when my family was mourning the loss of an important family member. Instead, I was wallowing in self-pity and thinking of only myself and the burden on my shoulders to keep everyone I love, safe. I felt like it was my fault she left that night. Although, others might say that it could have been planned. That there was no telling whether it would have happened then or maybe on another day. There was no way of knowing.
As for Scarlet and my mother I know there might have been a chance for me have some form of evidence against them if I had known what would happen and took my phone with me that day. Even if I had that evidence I couldn't risk giving it to aunt Mariah and uncle Damon. They wouldn't have believed me. My words would have fallen on deaf ears. So, until I'm able to gather solid evidence of their plans and find the other persons influencing and assisting them in their plans. Because if there was one thing I know it is that takes more than two persons to execute any plan. They would have to have more persons involved or at least someone behind the scenes pulling the strings. And whoever this person is, I will find them and expose the truth to Royal family, even if I have to be a pawn in their game. I won't allow them to succeed in their plans to ruin this kingdom.
And I might even be able to get some information that would lead to finding the persons involved in Lizzy's murder. But If I follow through with my plans I won't be able to handle all of this on my own. I'll have to tell someone I trust and get their assistance before things get worse.
"Lady Rebekah, we're ready to depart to the burial site. Miss Linda and Prince Arthur are already waiting in the cars." Taking a deep breath, I tilted my head to the side to see one of the guards patiently waiting for me to join them in the second black car in the driveway.
"Bring along a few umbrellas it seems it's going to rain," I said as I walked past the guard who nodded his head in understanding before leaving to get the umbrellas.
Reaching the last step to the pathway I was ushered into the empty car. After entering the vehicle I laid my head against the glass window and closed my eyes as I waited for us to leave the compound. There were a few minutes left before they would begin placing Lizzy's body in its resting place. Of course, that meant I needed to be there to say my final goodbye.
---
Standing a few feet away from my sister's body was one of the hardest things for me to do. My mind was conflicted on whether I should stay or leave. Could I really be near her coffin after what I saw yesterday? Would I really be able to stand there and not have flashbacks of her body?
I don't know if I could actually do it. But I had already made up my mind to be here. That I wanted to be able to say my goodbyes to my sister one last time. Even if she wouldn't hear me or be able to respond to what I have to say, I needed to do this. I needed to be brave again. I can't spend every day from today onwards moping around, crying and refusing to believe the truth. But I can accept the truth little by little and try to make a difference. I can help find the person responsible for her death. I can find the evidence I need to reveal the hidden corruption in this kingdom and make it better.
I may have disliked the idea of being Queen. I may have kept everyone at arm's length because of my dislike for claiming a title that was never mine. But I finally realize that there is no escaping this mess. I can either accept the future I'll have or I can continue to reject it and make no progress. And I choose to move forward because I have always been a fighter. I have faced my problems in the past head on over the past few weeks and I refuse to back down now. I may have had my moment of weakness but not anymore.
I can finally do something to make a change and I'm going to try my best to make this kingdom a better place for the future generations. On this day- the day my sister will be put to rest- I vow to protect my family and the people of this kingdom. I'll do whatever it takes to keep them safe because I'm sure Lizzy wouldn't want me to be like this. She would want me to grieve over her death but not to forget that life goes on. That she may be gone but there are things that I can still do that she would have made her proud. Of course, me deciding to be queen doesn't mean I'll suddenly be head over heels in love with Prince Marcus. No, in fact, my decision to be Queen isn't to make him think that I finally believe his words of love. All that it means is that I'm accepting my role as future Queen. I am their Queen but I am not his Queen.
"Rebekah, darling are you alright?" I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard my father's voice. I turned my head in the direction of his voice and saw him standing a few inches away from me, looking down at me with sad brown eyes as the pastor spoke a few words about Lizzy's life before her death.
Unlike a normal funeral, Lizzy's friends and the rest of our family members weren't here. Instead, it was a service being held in private with nine persons present. There was my mother, my father, scarlet, Linda, Rachel and the Royal family attending her burial, with the exception of the Pastor. She was being buried away from the Northwest family burial site. Which in my opinion is wrong. It made it look like was a common criminal whose death didn't matter. And like always there were no explanations given for anything they had decided.
Of course, Prince Marcus had assured me before he left last night that he would tell me everything when the time was right. That he didn't want to put more pressure on me since I needed to rest. That he knew the upcoming engagement ball, wedding and his coronation were quickly approaching and I didn't need to be pressured any further. Which, in reality, he did have a point. But trying to get justice for my sister was also important. However, I didn't say anything to his statement because I wasn't in the right state of mind to question him. After throwing up so many times, I needed time to process the information I had received as well as get my energy back.
"I'm still trying to accept that this is all happening. What about you, father? Are you alright?" I asked as we watched Rachel walk towards Lizzy's coffin. The coffin wasn't open for the viewing of the body since her body wasn't in the best condition. I had seen her before they had to attempted to clean and dress her damaged body. But even, after all, that was done, I'm sure she wouldn't have looked anywhere close to the way she looked before. So, letting them see her like that wouldn't have been the best idea.
"If I say that I'm fine, that would obviously be a lie." My father said as he gave me a sad smile. I slowly nodded as I softened my gaze. I knew this would harder for him than it would be for my mother. She would say that she loves us all equally but anyone could see that she favored Scarlet more. Not that it bothered us as much as anyone would think.
"I'm pretty sure it would be. You're not the best liar." I replied as I observed the crying and shaking state of my mother and Scarlet as they walked towards Lizzy's coffin. Everyone was paying their respects to her by saying a few words to her and leaving her favorite flower- a white rose- behind.
"That is true my dear. I never thought I would have to bury one of my daughters before she was even married and started a family. I always thought I would get the opportunity to walk each of you down the aisle on your respective wedding days. That I would watch my children marry the men who would respect them and treat them as queens. To see them become wonderful mothers to their own children, my grandchildren. That I would be able to see my girls be happy with their new families before I died." He paused for a moment as I felt the burning sensation in my eyes as they filled with unshed tears. My father is usually a strong man who rarely shows his emotions in public. So, to see him like this is one of those rare moments for anyone who doesn't know the real him.
He looked at me with sad brown eyes as I held my hand to mouth to cover my silent sobs as I tried blinking away my tears. I ignored the pain my injuries were causing me because, here, standing before now, is a man with a broken look clear on his face and tears flowing down his cheeks. I didn't know what to say or do. His words were the words any father would say in his position.
"I never thought I would receive the news that my daughter was murdered in cold blood and left at deaths doorstep in a dirty alleyway. How could the world be so cruel? My youngest daughter is going to be married to her eldest sister's fianceé. My second daughter was brutally murdered and the eldest is still heartbroken. Why would all of this happen to my children?" He asked as he shook his head with that broken expression still on his face.
Not knowing what to say I wrapped my arms around my father and cried into his shoulders. As I held onto to the man who raised me, I could feel a few of his tears hit my forehead as he hugged me back. It was times like these that I'm reminded that even my strongest person has their limits. That even my father knew when it is time to let go of all your pint up emotions. To express them. To not keep them behind a brick wall.
"It's going to be alright. We'll make it through this and find the person responsible for her death. We'll get the justice Lizzy deserves." I mumbled into his shirt. I felt a sharp pain in my arm as I tightened my arms around my father. Even if I could feel the pain from injuries I didn't lose my hold on him. The physical pain was more comforting than the emotional pain I felt right now.
I guess some might say that we never know the value of something until it was gone. But the truth is, it's not that we didn't know it's value... we just never thought we would lose it.