"He betrayed me?"
"No, it might just be a misunderstanding."
"No, he definitely betrayed me... Maybe this is a test—those chaotic Churches love this sort of thing."
"...He's cut off my retreat; after that, I can only follow him."
Too many thoughts and distractions fought in Zhao Yan's head, leaving him a bit confused.
Sometimes he felt his "sudden impulse" was part of a conspiracy, but then again, it felt like something he could do, or was he just used to shifting the blame and had misunderstood the Great Mother Goddess?
Other times, he still saw it all as a conspiracy, just for the sake of forcing him to completely sever earthly ties... but if the outcome would be favorable, everything was acceptable.
He hesitated, he felt insecure, he was "naive."
Part of this was due to the accrual of "goodwill," and another part was that he was still "unwilling to give up hope"... to be precise, unwilling to give up on the grand vision that Big Cat had painted for him.
