When Chris told me that endings can be beginnings, I'm not sure I understood what he meant. But a year out from the Redemption of the Shadow Wings, I believed that I was starting to.
That year was full of changes for all of us, although they were better changes than we'd probably ever had in our lives. Not only were we now free from the hunts that had plagued our existence for centuries, we also had no more worries about being used by the ones who created us. Even if we couldn't change how we were born, we had a freedom now not to be controlled by the bloodline alone.
But I admit that there were still a few loose ends that I wanted to tie up, if only for me. That was what brought Chris and I out to the cemetery in Jersey City that afternoon. Elijah was staying with Will and Elena for a few days while we made this little road trip. Neither of us worried too much about it, considering the closeness those two shared, not to mention that Will was a great father and one of our closest friends. If Elijah was safe with anyone, it was him.
"You sure you want to do this?" Chris asked me as we walked together down the long sidewalk towards the cemetery.
"Yeah. I want to see it at least once. Then maybe I can finally let go of all of it." I answered.
This little trip that we were making was only for two days, and a personal one for me. Although Saffron had told me that this city was where I'd been born, I had no memory of it. Mabel Benson had moved us away within a few months of my birth on Saffron's orders to keep me hidden and safe.
Of course, coming to this cemetery all tied in with my reason for visiting this area. Not only had I wanted to check out the apartment building where I was born and Mabel's original house, I'd also wanted to visit one more place before we left.
Faith Kent's grave.
I confess that there was always a part of me that needed some closure when it came to my birth mother. Even half purified, Saffron didn't speak much of her at all, though Chris suspected that part of it was because he'd never truly wanted to let go of her. He didn't think that anything would ever change Saffron's selfish nature when it came to the one girl that he'd actually been in love with, and I was inclined to agree. So, I decided that I'd look into my mother's last days myself, and Chris had agreed to help me.
I took in the silence around us as we walked, along with the large church and many gravestones. A nearby plaque said that this was the oldest church in this area, and some of the gravestones appeared to be just as old.
Chris stopped with me, surveying the stones around us, "This might take a bit longer than I thought." he admitted.
"Any idea of where to start looking?" I asked.
Chris was the one who had figured out that Faith was buried in this cemetery. He'd dug up all of the information he could on her with me, and I'd appreciated all the time and effort he put into it, though he'd sworn to me that he didn't mind either. He had just as much interest in seeing more of what Faith's world had been like before she died too.
He pulled out his phone, bringing up the information he'd found, "It looks like it's a bit further down this path. We'll check out the stones there. She should have a nicer one too from what I've heard."
I looked over at him as we walked, "What you've heard? You mean Saffron's at least talked about that?" I inquired.
"No, it wasn't from him. Zane mentioned it when he called me the other day." Chris answered.
Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have been that surprised that Zane would know some stuff about all of this. He tended to know a lot of things that we didn't expect him to. But then, he was also the type who looked into whatever interested him, and he had admitted to me before that the story about Saffron and Jade's original contract and the reincarnations had always fascinated him, especially where I ended up coming into the world. I betted that he'd asked around the Nephilim clans about it too where he could since one of them had been involved in helping Mari Hanes before.
"To think that all of Saffron's carefully laid plans came to their end from one single young girl. Perhaps it's true that love overcomes all, even darkness." he'd commented one time.
I still wasn't that sure that I'd really call Saffron's affections towards my birth mother love. More like obsession that he'd never let go, much like Jade with that original soul.
"What was Zane saying with all of this? Did someone tell him about something interesting with Faith's headstone?" I asked, deciding not to bring up that second part about Jade and Saffron's obsessions.
"Yeah, and it was interesting to me too. Apparently your mother didn't even have a headstone for a while after she died. It was just a small placement showing where she was buried. She didn't have any family left either because of the deaths of her father and aunt, and it sounds like her mother's family had nothing to do with any of them. But about three months after she died, an anonymous donor had a stone made for her. No one around here knows who it was." Chris explained.
"But I'm guessing Zane does." I surmised.
"Yeah." Chris nodded, "You might be surprised too. He said that it was Raphael Renaldi who had the stone made and placed."
I stopped with him as I heard that, "Really? But why? We were told that their family didn't get involved with what was happening with Saffron until a few years before we met."
"That's true. That's what we were originally told." Chris agreed, putting his hands in his pockets, "But according to Zane, there was another story buried into your mother's that involved the Renaldis. He didn't know what it was though. Kira doesn't know it either. Apparently they keep that one under wraps for whatever reason."
"I'd say it's because of shame, but it may also be guilt mixed in there."
Both of us looked at the nearby tree to see Saffron sitting on one of the branches. The afternoon sunlight filtered through the leaves around him, casting light and shadow over his form. A knowing smile was on his face as he regarded us.
"You decided to show up here after all. Couldn't resist seeing Ariana find her?" Chris guessed.
"Not at all, though I have said before that this is only for the body. You do know where her soul is now darling." Saffron reminded me.
"Yeah, I know. But being half humans makes graves sentimental for me, especially because she was human." I reminded him.
Saffron shrugged, jumping down from the branch as we walked over there, "I suppose I can't argue such a thing, even if it doesn't make much sense to me. But if you are so intent on finding her body's resting place, then you've come the right direction. Come along."
"You've been here before, haven't you?" Chris noted as we walked with him down the grassy path.
"Perhaps. I can't say that there isn't a bit of nostalgia for me in this area." Saffron replied.
"I saw the apartment building and Mabel's house too." I informed him.
"Did you now? Nothing's truly changed from what I've checked up on, so you had the full experience, even if from the outside." Saffron responded.
"I do feel for that girl. She had a hell of a life from what we've all come to know, especially for what you got her involved with." Chris commented.
"It wasn't as bad as her previous incarnations, so you shouldn't feel it too much. Besides, I did take care of that girl when no one else would." Saffron reasoned.
"You're in a decent mood today." I pointed out.
Saffron huffed, "Aren't I always now?" He stopped as we finally came to an area under some trees near the back of the cemetery, "Ah, here we are."
We stopped and took in the marble stone before us. Yes, they were right. It was a beautiful stone. Faith Kent's full name was engraved into it, and there was an oval shaped picture of her over her name. It looked like one they would've taken in high school. The dates carved into it also fit with my birth, which was on the day of her death at only sixteen.
But there was also something else that I immediately noticed. Flowers had been placed on her grave. They were a pretty combination of white roses and lilies.
Chris noticed it too, glancing over at Saffron, "Where'd those come from?"
It was odd, but Saffron looked a bit subdued, "I see now. He's visited again." he murmured.
"Who's visited?" I asked.
"Never mind. You've found it, so that's enough for now."
Saffron didn't give either of us a chance to respond before he disappeared in a flash of shadows. That was weird. It almost felt like he was upset over seeing those flowers there.
Chris was thinking along the same lines, "He's hiding something about this." he stated.
I looked back at the flowers, kneeling to touch them. The petals were soft and smooth, attesting that they hadn't been there long.
"Yeah, but it's strange too, isn't it? Even if they knew Faith from somewhere, why would Raphael go to the trouble of having this beautiful stone made for her? He never mentioned that he knew my mom while I was pregnant with Elijah and neither did Michael."
Chris was about to respond when we both became aware of someone coming up the path. I stood up, looking to our right to see that it was a guy walking towards us. At first, I really thought that it was Noah Renaldi, but as he got closer, I realized he wasn't. Yes, he looked a lot like him, but his eyes were a slightly darker shade of blue and his hair just a bit more blonde.
He stopped a few feet from us, and the immediate sense hit me that he was another Nephilim. I would've betted anything that he was a Renaldi too. The resemblance was too uncanny to Noah, not to mention Michael and Raphael now that I saw him closer.
Chris sensed this too, "Speaking of, a Renaldi's come to visit here too." he pointed out casually.
The guy nodded, letting out a long breath as a resigned smile crossed his face, "I come here and there whenever I pass through this area, but I wasn't expecting this one. There aren't many people that stop at Faith's grave, even Nephilim." he responded.
I remained still as his gaze fell on me. It was strange, but it felt like I should've known this guy from somewhere, and not just because of what he was or the family he'd come from. The other odd thing was that he looked a little startled too, even though he was doing his best not to show it.
"Um," I worked hard to find the right words, "you're from Malakai's family, right?"
The guy nodded, stepping over to me, "Yeah, I am. My name's Raziel, and Raphael's my father. I'm guessing you're Ariana, and you must be Chris." he answered, glancing at Chris too.
"It probably is obvious, considering that we're here looking for Faith Kent's grave." Chris confirmed.
Raziel shook his head, still looking at me, "It is, but I'd know Ariana's face anyway. They can say what they want and she does have that demon's eyes, but I see a lot of Faith in her too."
Now some things were clicking in my mind. He was Raphael's son, and he was talking like he knew Faith Kent before. His father was also the one who had this gravestone made for her. Maybe he was the original family connection to her.
"Are you the one who put those flowers here?" I asked as I glanced at them.
"Yeah." Raziel confirmed. He stepped over to the stone, kneeling in front of it, "I guess I'll always be sentimental when it comes to her, no matter how much time's gone by or what happened back then. My dad is too. But he's also right. None of that was her fault."
"You're the connection in all of this, aren't you? You're the reason that the family knew about that contract before your son met Mari Hanes, because you knew Faith Kent before she died." Chris guessed as he stood near me.
Raziel sighed, standing up straight again, "I'll admit that. I actually knew her pretty well for a while. Well, at least as much as anybody could've known her with him around."
I didn't miss the sadness in his eyes as he regarded that stone. There was definitely something else here, something that Raziel didn't want to say out loud.
"I know this might be pretty personal, but how did you know Faith Kent?" I asked him.
No, I didn't really expect a straight answer here. I just wanted to see what he'd say.
"It might be better not to get into all of that now. What's done is done, and I think we've all been able to move on." Raziel finally responded after a few minutes of silence. He flashed me a gentle smile, "But I am glad that I've gotten to meet you, even if I wasn't sure of about it before, and I'm glad that you and the other Nephilim are free too. It makes me feel better to know that you'll have a good life now."
A slight breeze picked up around us as he spoke, and for the briefest of moment, a strange vision flashed through my mind. A blonde girl and guy standing together on a country road, kissing each other as they held her pregnant belly.
Wait. Was that...?
Raziel glanced at his watch, "Damn, I wish I had more time, but I need to get back now. Anna's gonna drive me crazy if I'm late. But I'm glad I got to meet both of you, and maybe we can meet up again sometime soon."
"Um, yeah, me too." I managed.
Neither of us moved to stop him as he walked down the path towards where a car was parked on the dirt road. My insides felt like they were shaking now. That vision, I was sure it had been real. It was the past that no one else was supposed to know about.
Chris noticed my silence as I watched him go, "You alright? You look like you've seen a ghost." he commented.
I managed to shake my head, "Yeah, I'm good." I breathed.
Saffron appeared behind Faith's stone as I spoke. There was a triumphant smile on his face as he watched Raziel drive away.
"It seems that he'll never completely let go either. But perhaps that's also for the best. After all, I did win that one in the end too., and he knows he'll never be able to change it." he gloated.
Chris scowled at him, "What the hell did you do back then?"
"That's for me to know for now, even if the connection can never be fully denied." Saffron responded curtly. He walked over beside me, whispering in my ear, "Never forget, first and foremost, you have always been mine."
A breeze washed over me as he vanished again. I remained still as all of this sunk in. That had been a hint too. Somewhere back then, Raziel Renaldi had some kind of involvement with my mother too, and he'd apparently always known about me. Was it possible that we shared some connection in that too?
Somehow, I doubted I'd ever know for certain.
Chris was quiet for a moment as we stood there, looking like he was also putting pieces together. Then he let out a long breath.
"You know, for what it's worth Ariana, it may be better just to let things be now. Raziel was right. We can't change what was in the past. What's important is where we are now." he finally spoke.
Those words brought me comfort in all of this. That was true. No matter what had happened back then or what my strange connection to Raziel might be, it didn't change who I was now. Maybe it had even made me stronger somehow, in a way I'd never completely understand.
"You're right." I relented as I hugged him, "Thanks for doing this with me too."
"You know I'd do anything for you." Chris responded, hugging me back. He kissed me before speaking again, "What do you say to heading home now? It's been two days and I'm sure Elijah's ready for us to be back."
I returned his smile, "Definitely. Let's go."
In the end, I don't know that anything's ever really over. Yes, we move on, and we move forward. Yet the past always remains, though it doesn't need to define us either. I was sure of this as my fingers laced with Chris's and we walked that sunny path back to our car. Maybe life wasn't always easy, and maybe there wouldn't always be understanding about why some things happened, but we'd make it through them.
Because through darkness, there's always a ray of hope.