Though clay left the room because Jeremy asked him to leave, that did not mean he was entirely gone, because no footsteps receded down the hall.
The floor thudded as he dropped down to sit outside and eavesdrop. But Jeremy chose to ignore it instead.
"We need your help Aria," Jeremy said, turning back to me. "You have researched the mutts, you took it as a job and that is why you know more about the mutts than any of us."
"I took on the job when I was part of the Pack. And you know that."
"We need your nose to find him and your knowledge to identify him. Then we need your help to get rid of him too. It is a tricky situation, Ariana. Clay is not the one to handle this kind of situation. We need to proceed with utmost caution. This mutt has killed on our territory and he has insinuated himself into our town. We need to lure him out without calling attention to ourselves or making him panic. It is only you that can do this."
"I am sorry, Jer, but this is surely not my problem to worry about. I do not live here anymore. I am not supposed to be looking for mutts, it is not my job."
"It is my job, I know. This should never have happened under my care. I was not paying enough attention. But that does not change the fact that it has happened and we are all in danger because of it; even you. If this mutt continues making trouble, he runs the risk of being caught. If he is caught, what exactly do you think will prevent him from telling the authorities about us?"
"But I..."
"All I want is your help dealing with this problem. Once it is cleared up, you can do as you solely wish."
"And if I wish to leave the Pack? Did you mean what you said last night? That the choice is mine?"
Something flitted across Jeremy's face. He brushed his bangs back and the expression was gone.
"I was angry last night, Aria. There is no reason to be in such a rush to make this decision, Ariana. I said I had let you go and live your own life and I had only called you back if it was urgent. And this is urgent. I have not phoned you for anything else. I have not let Clay contact you. I have not summoned you back for the other Meets. I have not expected you to maintain the dossiers or anything else you normally do for us. No one else would get that kind of treatment. You get it because I want to give you all the freedom you need to make the right decision."
"You are hoping I will grow out of it."?
"Adjusting to this has been more difficult for you than anyone else. You did not grow up knowing you had become a werewolf. Being bitten would have been bad enough, but the way it happened, the circumstances under which it happened, made it ten times harder. It is in your nature to fight something you did not choose. When you make your choice, I want it to be because you have spent enough time out there to know that it is what you want, not because you are stubborn and want to assert your right to self-determination here and now."
"In other words, you are hoping I will grow out of it right?."
"I am asking for your help, Ariana. Asking, not demanding. Help me solve this problem and you can go back to Toronto. No one will stop you."
He glanced toward the door, listening for Clay's protest, but only silence returned.
"I will give you some time to think about it. Come see me when you are ready."
I stayed in the study for over an hour. Part of me cursed myself for coming back, cursed Jeremy for putting this on me, cursed Clay for . . . well, for everything else. I wanted to stomp my feet in a two-year-old tantrum and shout that it was not fair. But it was fair, Jeremy was being perfectly reasonable. That was the worst of it.
I owed the Pack a debt that I had not finished paying. I owed Edouard and Connor and Nick and Harrison for their friendship and their protection and, even if they were inclined to treat me like a kid sister, someone to pet, coddle and tease, they had accepted me and looked after me when I could not look after myself. Most of all, I owed Jeremy. As much as I railed at his demands and tyrannical authority, I never forgot how much I owed him.
When I had been bitten, Jeremy had taken me in, sheltered me, fed me, and taught me how to control my Changes, rein in my impulses, and fit into the outside world.
The Pack often jokes that raising Clay was Jeremy's greatest challenge, the seven labors of Hercules all rolled into one. If they knew what Jeremy had gone through with me, they might change their minds.
I put him through hell for one solid year. When he had brought food, I had thrown it at him. When he talked to me, I cursed and spat at him. When he had come near me, I had attacked him. Later, when I had escaped, I had put the entire Pack at risk. Any other werewolf would have given up, hunted me down, and killed me.
Jeremy hunted me down, brought me back to Stonehaven, and started all over again.
When I was well again he encouraged me to finish my university degree, footing the bill for tuition, an apartment, and anything else I needed.
When I finished school and started doing freelance journalism, he encouraged and supported me. When I had announced I wanted to try living on my own he had disagreed, but he had let me go and watched over me.
It did not matter whether he did these things because he was fond of me or, as I feared, only because it was in the best interests of the Pack to keep me safe and under their control. It only mattered that he had done it.
Now I cursed him for interfering with my new life. The truth was that without Jeremy's help I would not have a new life. If I had survived at all, I had be like the mutts, barely able to control my Changes, completely unable to control my impulses, killing humans, moving from place to place one step ahead of suspicions, no job, no apartment, no friends, no lover, no future.
Now he asked something of me. Just one favor, not even phrased as such. Just a request for help.
I could not refuse.