I m hella tired to even edit thoroughly so I just skipped after half.
Leah
It's been 8 days, 12 hours, 24 minute and 3 seconds..... 4 sec... 5 sec... and yeah goes forth since I was admitted to this hospital and I was ready to get discharged from this disgusting smell of medicine and needles.
Just so you know, I hate needles especially with llooooonngg pointy tip pushed into my veins. When syringe are pushed and that's a full blow of hit on your arm. But hate and fearing is didn't. I just don't like puncturing my skin.
Besides, it reminds me of the time when I spend most of my time lying on the bed, locked in the same environment. I am quite surprised I managed to survive the car accident at ten, escaped human trafficking with just few bruises, survived critism and slanders from public and now my first attempt of suicide. I bet there is no one as lucky as I am.
I made a speedy recovery all thanks to Haze who threw me under heavy gaze forcing me to take meals beyond my capacity. I didn't forget the iron tablets I had to swallow with water and the bitter taste lingering on my mouth wanting to throw up. Blah!
If not he couldn't stay with me 24/7, he made sure to come see to check on me every thrice a day during that short stay in the hospital.
I looked through the window outside from my bed, wanting to leave the smell of medicine behind for a walk out the courtyard which was below my line of sight. I made friends with the kids and elders that lived in or around here.
I couldn't leave without informing Haze or move an inch out this room since I had guards keeping a watch on me day and night. I should have not told Haze about wanting to leave and now, I have to also ask permission to go washroom!
To keep myself preoccupied, I phased around in the room do some simple body stretches.
Right now, at this moment, I poked my head from the sliding door, tip toeing myself from the room, closely sticking to the walls like a ninja, left right up and down, all directions were clear until I noticed two capped bulky civilian keeping a close look on me like I was some kind of hamster on loose.
I squinted my eyes, staring that can prick them but gave up shrugging off their stares since they were making it so obvious that I was being watched day and night as these muscle head morons stick to me like my tails.
I really wished I could like disappear into thin air. How I wish I could turn into a tree.
"Pardon me but Mr. Cameron but--"
I whined interrupting their usual monotonous orders, "I know I know.. Haze forbade me from leaving the room until or unless I am fully recovered. Or have humongous human teddy bears with me at all time." I said referring them as the bears, which they would only smile tapping their ear piece to tell their companion to back off for now.
I sometimes wonder how many other 'bears' are stalking me. It's not that I mind it but their gaze sends chill down my spine.
I could only pout, return into my prison and louch on the bed, rolling side to side hugging my body pillow. I'm quite a hugger it seems.
Anymore of this captivity, my mind could really flip the world itself. I would groan, swing my legs on the bed, crouch over the adjustable bedside trolley on the side after pulling it to the height reaching my chest. Slurring at him only fuels my inner frustration that I want to sneak out as soon as possible.
Only thing that's keeping me barely keeping me on my toes was my drawing. I would sketch away my worries into it, pouring all of my anxiety into those dark shades yet without realizing I drew a story within.
I thought I only drew insecure inner piece of me- I failed to notice I subconsciously drew my favorite set of landscape, which coincidentally happen to be Taylor's fav as well. I tore the sheet, throwing it into the trash can, clear my thoughts and started again. Thinking once again as I took a glance onto the old and young equally enjoying the weather, even to have a normal skin contacts, like it was so normal to do.
There was couple of two, basking in the sun under a gentle breeze, too good of a day but I don't like one bit of it. Confinement only serves as a reminder of my resentment for being a good for nothin.
I felt disgusted by myself, my guts rising to my throat as if to throw up, harder to breathe for no reason as my hands naturally moved to draw myself crying alone hiding behind a bench, I don't know from where this feeling or memory was coming from but I could feel my face covered with the cold touch of someone's hand. I don't know who it was but it was soothing my uneasiness fickling in my chest.
I wish he was here with me. My head's not stable and mood fluctuates like I am fed with sour, sweet, bitter combo of..... a dog poop.
Ok. That sounds weird.
"Urgh! You're *sniffle sniffle* so stupid!" I scolded myself. Without realizing, my face was cubbed into those same cold hands like that from my memories strangely comforting me.
Those ocean blue eyes would cut sharp into my soul if it was possible to do so, momentarily to get lost into them like nothing really mattered except for those affectionate pair of eyes calming me down.
"Who made you cry?" His tone was soft even with roughness in it. He would force any touches and as if he feared I was going to break.
I replied not. Except to gently shake my head. No words were forming in my throat. I got a feeling that my voice would crack like a toad if I dare speak. When I spoke not, he lets go of my face, taking a seat besides me, glancing at my sketches only to happy grin.
"...still a bad crybaby." He would mutter underneath his breathe, as if he could tell what I felt.
"I know I'm ugly crier but I'm offended." I glared at him, as I folded my arms, turning my back to him.
"*sigh* it sure is an ugly sight but your behaviour is strange cute. I was informed you wanted to go out. It's time I take you with me home. They say you are ready to get discharged."
Excuse me? Home? I erred, just what does he meant by home? I aren't got no home. Does he think if he shows up whenever he want and leave me captivated dare to think I wouldn't rebel?
"Why look so scorned?" He held my chin up, rubbing his thumb to my lips while I only watched him dumbstruck. It was no less intimidating even if it wasn't erotic. His gaze and affectionate fondling tells me his desire was ever burning.
"Uh... uh.." say it! Tell him off! Come on! Be a man! Show him you are not a toy to be ragged torn apart.
Not when makes me so sensitive to his touch. On the places he explored were burning hot. My dazed eyes kept ogling him as if I could see him through his cloth and feel his strong chest underneath.
"Did you catch cold?" When he raised his hand to reach out to my I grabbed it before he could touch my face. I must do this. Must resist the temptation.
I glared up to his amused smile, tightening my baby grip, unwavering confidence filled swelled my chest, prepared to speak my discontent to him. "You ok baby?" My mind crash landed to his lips, focused only at him that I dumped all the logical reasoning from the window, swallowed a lump of saliva down my dry throat.
"Just kiss me." I don't know when and how I said it but the time I knew what I was doing, I was closing my eyes and pulling his tie down, kissing him. He grabbed hold of himself as well and dominating my amateur lips as he led the kiss. Pushed back to the bed, a yelp escaped my lips widening my mouth where he took me by surprise, getting frantic, playing my tongue with mine as I failed to wrap my mind at what was going on.
"Bold aren't you~." He was strangely pleased but to me it seems he was holding back his urges. I was panting. Eyed ever dreamy and he looked amazing. Did he come out of the shower or something?
"Don't." I pleaded since there was no way I could pull him closer when He's entwining our hands into his to the side of my head.
"Don't what? To stop?" He was going to let go, but my hands moved on reflex then immediately retract my arms putting it in the air showing surrendering.
"I-it was reflex! There was a dirt!" I ignored making an eye contact with him. I know better than anyone that he was dying to tease me. "You said something about going home right!?? Let's go!" I looked everything around but him.
"It's time. Let's go." Haze signed the form for me and luckily it was just us for today since he dismissed the guards and that he wanted to take me somewhere which he wouldn't tell me where.
He drove to the direction to my school, but then passed it.
"Hey," I whispered underneath my breathe, "it's back."
"We are not going there. I already shifted your clothes and possessions to the main house." He drove with one hand eyes on the road and pulled the seat belt from my side for me, "safety first. I can't be careless when you are here though it still save. And here. I bought you a new phone. All the contacts and datas are moved to this one."
"What where?" I inclined my head towards his face.
"To the main house."
"Can't you be specific?"
"You'll see."
I touched the screen to check the phone only to see his half naked wallpaper on the homescreen and that's when I locked the phone again, blushing all the way.
"How it is?" He wasn't even embarrassed that he was acting so childish while here I am imagining eighteen rated stuff after the kiss. Well we did more than kiss before and I remember his toned chest, his---- kill me!
He wasn't one to say anything more and I wasn't going to tire myself from trying to get him to tell me. The time was spend minding our own business and me looking through the car's front window to my left.
The scenerio changed from the buildings and stores into unpopulated settlement and never ending high walls which finally opened up to only one huge, tall entrance from a dark metal gate way with trimmed hedges on each side and vast meadows and nature cover on the other side of the way once we entered the gate.
"What's this main house?" I was amazed by how tend and fresh it was in the nature.
"This is the private house I own and also the headquarter for the Wolfies." Simply as that he said it like he was taking me to some home and not a crazy place.
In the midst of everything I forgot he was the mafia boss who is brainlessly protective when I am involved.
"You'll have Peggy and parents keeping you save and busy for your boredom when I am not around." We reached the stop on the front grandeur steps of the mansion. He offered to take his hand.
I took it after I gave a minute thought to take it or not. But it feels different from before. I am sensitive to his simple touch or physical contact. Hallelujah!
my hands feels the pounding heart beat as if it was my own. Or is it?
The giant furnished door flung open before we had reached our last steps giving a clear view of the maids and butlers greeting their master home.
One, which seems like a chief formally came on.
"Welcome back, Master Haze. It's been 3 months since you last visited us."
They all seem prepared and bowed, scared. Are they afraid of Haze?
"Mm. Lead." Haze limited his commanding words and he gently tugged me with him as I got on walking with his phase and reaching to the upstair room.
"This is the one."
"Leave."
With just one word, the man left us alone and back away to downstairs telling the workers to get on with their work.
"Leah," he opens the door of the room, "you can stay here from now on. I promise to now give you complete freedom and space when you stay under my wing. Whatever you need, ask either me or the maids. I'll be next door. You won't need to pick a finger of your hand to get it. I am sorry."
Like he said, my things were already placed in their suitable location and I also had the huge bed all for myself. I didn't have to work and that he was going to take responsibility for everything I said in the hospital. He was serious when he said he will hear it all.
He wasn't going to be forceful and request it kindly to do it. He even apologised! Can you believe that!
I jumped on my back at the bed, sleepily letting eyes close since it was already late by the time we reached the mansion.
The next morning, early enough for the roosters to start crooking, feeling all uneasy, uncomfortable and hot, I opened my lids to see what was wrong.
I felt extremely upset... I meant my tummy. I rubbed it thinking it would soothe the discomfort by little. That did a trick but I also felt suppressed down heavily to the bed. Maybe because I am in a new environment it was difficult to act as if it's the usual place.
Moreover I saw a peculiar dream: I was tossing and turning in my new room, pretty much restless that I even hung my head upside down from the bed even with eyes half open. I grew a habit for being huggy that I was rushing to next room. I bet he was still tending to his works this late at night that he was quick to receive me on the door.
"Wha-" It was only a dream and I was jumping him with my sheets covering me. And I dozed off again, finally settled.
"What a realistic dream." I thought to myself, then leaving it aside.
I stretched my arms wide hidding something like a hard. I touched it, feeling like it was a jaw? Hair? Lips?
But I was down here.
Then who is it???
"Kya!!" I withdrew back with my blanket and accidentally fell off the bed hurting my butt.
"Argh! What is it?"
"What are you doing in my room?!"
Sleeping positioned to his side he groggily replied, "look around. It's mine."
He was right. None of my things were there. It was full of his scent and working materials.
"Still has that sleep walking habit. You came up to the door knocking like a ghost covering with the sheet from head to toe and dragged me on the bed. Now come and sleep. It's still too early." He pets the bed calling me on to sleep.
So the reason I didn't have that dream was because I subconsciously went up to him?
How is it early? It is six in the morning, that's the usual waking call for everyone.
"Um. Shouldn't you be ready to go to work or something instead of sleeping?"
"You knocked the sleep out of me yester night when you jumped onto me," he muttered still eyes closed, "and I had a nightmare after so many years."
A nightmare? It's unexpected. What must it be?
"What is it? I will listen. What's your nightmare?" I asked, cowering on the bed looking at him. I could at least sympathize.
"Then come here," he opened his arms wide for me to fill in, "I will need comfort."
One hug won't hurt me. I snuggled in as he wrapped his arms around my waist and stayed on top of him layed aback.
"What's with your kitten like behaviour? It's cute." He lightly chuckled at my purring and clawing I was doing on him. It was warm. I loved it. This must how cats felt. Ah~ paradise~
"Before I forget what was your nightmare?" Still stuck to him, I asked.
"That you wouldn't forgive me." I halted, stiffened and guilty. I said I hated him and forgiving...
"Worry not. I will get use to it since it's not my first time." Ah. Guilt is eating me up inch by inch.
"That you said you hated me." Guilty of charge. The law will surely hang me to dead for breaking the heart of the hottest fiance.
"That you left. Like that time." What time?
"That you threw me away."
"Throw you away!? Are you crazy! I should be the one saying that! Stupid idiot moron! Does your level of stupid raises the bar higher than the level of jumanji! Or are you normally like this!"
"Say the guy who tried to take there own life. That's more than enough to prove that you threw me away, from your life."
"I was just trying to stay out of your way! I was only making your life miserable! I heard it," that night, I was told the truth, "You have been getting bridged and getting targetted by Taylor because of me! Even you got hurt! I know, you were bleeding underneath when you were in hospital. And this shirt you are wearing now? You never wear it when you sleep. It's because your wounds are serious!"
"Wow. Amazing speech. Observation too." Was he serious?! I am here worried and speaking logical sense into him, there goes him complementing it.
"I am healed now. It's not that I am going to die before amending us."
"But you will get hurt! It will pain, don't act tough on me, you Mr.." I got off, "show it to me."
"It's-"
"I may consider forgiving you." I offered this opportunity and he freezes up for a slight second.
"....."
"Good deal right?"
"...."
"Times ticking."
"..."
"I am waiting."
".."
"Hit it!"
I pulled his shirt up to his torso and it was bandaged.
"It's still looks fresh. How did this happen?" That must hurt. A lot!
"It was healed."
"Then what's this?" I compelled.
"It opened up again when I was careless." He averted his eyes. Sign of hiding something.
"Don't even get smart with me," I scolded.
"...."
"Stop it with your blank faces."
"I was in the hurry," paused and spoke, "to get you to the hospital. I wasn't supposed to move much."
"See. I told you. I am only causing-"
"I love you."
"...." I gave a blank stare now.
"Hey, say something?" He waved his hands over my stunt face.
"...."
".. it worked."
"...??" What is he talking about?
"Peggy said it will shut your questions up if I say that." Haze pets my head, rummbling it, "and I think I get it why."
"So you figured out?
"
"Yes," he's grinning teasingly showing me his phone.
The recordings!!
One option left. I was exposed so, my only option was..
"Look," I pointed out of the window, "I am outside!"
He did turn to look out.
"You are here. How can you be outside?"
I sneeked out of the bed quickly as I can and opened the door running out in the hall shouting, "in a moment, I will be out!"
I ran downstairs, quickly searching for some exit. Left? I took the left, getting me to the dining room and there was already workers placing on the plates fetching the foods.
"Is there anything you need, Sir?" One of the maids asked.
"Sir? Me? Oh no. I am-"
"Leah! Get back here! When I get you, I'll make sure you say that back!" Haze had followed after my trail.
"Run!" I made my escape to the far end of the table.
"Come here." He crossed his arms, calling me over by wiggling his finger.
I shook my head. "No."
"I am warning you."
"Nope."
In a blink of an eye, he ran up to me and spin me by my waist tickling it.
I burst out laughing non stop, "s-stop! I haha! I am- gonna -cr-haha cry!"
"Then say it."
"N-haaha! NO! Ahaha! I am dying!" I fought best I could to let him loose.
Then I pushed his hands away only to tickle more from within my shirt.
"Can't the two of the love birds start getting all over each other on the first day?" We looked to my right, from the different doors, three people joined us on the table whom I already knew, the doggy and the clown couple.
"Oh my, Leah my child, I am sorry for not telling you about your marriage before hand," Diana? Was it? She made a sorry face but she still seemed young and beautiful beside her husband, Rachel.
"I- I am fine. But I am going to leav-"
"You're not," Haze possessively held me in his arm.
"I am."
He turned me to meet him in the eye from my front firmly said, "you are not."
"I am."
He was angry one moment and devilishly smiling at my face, "you have yet to say it."
"Help!" I shouted and yelped asking for help from Diana, but she still gave me helpless smile as if she was sending me telephathic signal 'my son is not going to spare you.'
"Don't even think about it." He saw right through me when I thought about asking for his father's help.
"I-" suddenly I became nauseous, dizzy and weak to the knee lossing strength of my legs falling onto Haze's chest.
"Leah?" He shook my body.
I didn't reply since my mind was shutting down feeling sick to the stomach, throat drying up as in like I was in a desert.
"He has a fever!" Haze puts his hands on my forehead and taking me back to my room.
"The doctor will be here any moment now."
True to his word, a four eye. Ok, the guy wearing spectacles walked in to my bed where I layed on with Haze not letting me go.
"What happened?" He asked, "were you hospitalised before?"
"I was."
"How do you feel?"
"Dizzy. Can it be because of the blood loss?"
"Most likely. Anymore symptoms?"
"Just that."
Much after every diagnosis, he spoke.
"Can you observe if it keeps on happening for more days? And take this prescription for now to lessen the vomiting. Keep a watch on him for maybe three more days. I will decide what to be done with him. Mr. Haze? Can I ask for you to keep an eye on him so he doesn't go anemic. And can we talk a bit. In private?"
I wonder if I am seriously acquired an illness. Or can.. no. It must have been just a fluke.
"Haze? What did he say?" He returned with a report that must have told him the name of the illness if I had any.
"Nothing... serious. He wants me to take more care of you with such delicacy for you to.. recover."
"Oh.. ok." Who would want to tell if I was to die soon. Haze stared at the report like an foreign card, scanning it thoroughly from the top to bottom.
"Why won't you let me go?"
"'Cause I love you." He said like it was his norm to say everytime we argue.
"If you did, then you will let me leave."
"I am, that's why I am keeping you here with me. And no going to school anymore, you'll homeschooled from now on."
"Is my illness," I fretted, "that fatal?"
"It's not life threatening, but..." I think I know this side effects and from what I know it has to be this.
"Did I get std?!!"
"What!? No. Fuck no. I haven't slept with anyone since ages." He cussed.
"Ages? I swear I thought you have endless list of mistresses, ladies or boys dying to warm your bed."
He was displeased. I can make it out."Why did this suddenly shifted to me? So listen. It's serious."
I nodded. I got only half of what he was trying to tell me.
"There's a chance that you're pregnant."
He dropped a bomb on me on the last minute. And I don't think there is any way of recovering from it as I blacked out not long after. I wasn't expecting this sooner.