Chereads / The Trance / Chapter 4 - The stray light of identity

Chapter 4 - The stray light of identity

I was in that car, I feel like I knew it all but was forgetting the main reason. As the car went along the barren street, the lights made way. It all felt like I was losing myself, like losing the meaning I was living. There was no one in the car, it was driving by itself, I had a sense, I felt like I knew that this is where it ended. The office was my journey to the top, the restaurant was the journey of feeling loved, the playroom was the journey to giving love, and the street was the journey to the end.

As the lights zoomed across me I thought I could see something in front of me, two lights, it looked devilish in a sense. Running and speeding at me, I could see it come closer and closer as I realized it was a truck heading straight towards me. With no time to spare I hopped myself to the driver's seat, my car was speeding too, going faster and faster. A collision of the two vehicles was inevitable. I grab ahold of the steering wheel and twist it, as the truck's horns screech and the car's wheels drift. I realized that I could not make the car turn, the steering wheel was useless.

There I was, heading straight at a truck, nothing to save me, nothing to push me off the path of certain death. The truck collides and my car twists and rolls into the road ahead. The glass breaking and shattering, the loud noise made my ears deaf. Then it stopped. Another flash of pure white, and I was back at that hospital. Something was different though, I was a bystander, I was the one sitting and looking upon that body.

The body was not alive, nor dead, It was a statue.

Solid rock with no emotions. I look beside and see another statue of a woman crying and tearing almost, it was a statue but the emotion felt real. Looking behind I find a set of three statues, an elderly man, an elderly woman, and a small little girl. They were hovering upon the one on the bed, they were grieving. I'm not sure why but they were all crying, the feeling of the room was different than the others. This room felt real, even if there were no humans, it still felt like sadness. It brought a tear to my eye, the feeling of loss was emotional for me.

Even if I wanted all the fame and riches of the world, the feeling of losing those you love is saddening to me. They were the ones that brought you happiness, they were there with you when you didn't know how things worked. Your parents were people that made you walk, they made you stand tall, and they made you stand against all the challenges put against you. They were there at each step of your life. The ones you loved were there to share your feelings with, sad or happy, you both were the ones to share each step of life. The staircase leading to success was built upon those that held you each time you fell. I couldn't bear losing people, you'd rather be the one to leave than witness those you love go out one by one.

I cried, more and more, I cried like I was that statue. I cried harder with each tear, I was powerful but weak to my own emotions. Another flash of colors, not white but mixed of all the colors blended into one. Like walking through a rainbow. As I focus I see a door right in front of me, a plain brown door, I try getting closer. The more I got closer the more it came back to me, who I was, what this all meant, and why I reached this place. As I got to the door, it all came back to me, not all at once but little by little. It felt emotional to know it all, but I was happy to let this journey end.