"I'M TOO dumb and too tacky to enter a fantasy novel and have a political fight with sly nobles to save the abandoned Crown Princess," Zoe said without pausing to breathe, then she stopped speaking to let out a few hiccups. After catching her breath, she raised three fingers from her left hand. She had a soju bottle in her right hand, after all. "I'm only good at three things: cooking, fighting, and flirting."
"Great! You're meeting all the criteria," Liane, the heroine who literally came out of the (online) pages of the fantasy novel that she was just reading a while ago, said brightly. "Lady Zoe, you're really perfect for the role that I'm offering you!"
Woah.
She was straight, but she almost turned gay for the lovely heroine.
[How can someone be so pretty and innocent-looking?]
Liane had a pair of big and round blue eyes sparkling like a piece of jewelry. Her long, blonde hair looked shiny. It wouldn't be a lie to say that her god-tier face was doing a good job of distracting anyone from focusing on the heroine's outfit: a red glamorous dress that an empress in a medieval fantasy novel would wear.
It didn't look too weird, though. In fact, the fictitious lady looked like an A-list actress taking a break from shooting an expensive fantasy movie.
[No! I can't be swayed by a beautiful face!]
"Miss, I'm going to die at Chapter One if I entered the novel that you came from because I act before I think," she said firmly, guarding her heart well before she caved. After all, she was a sucker for pretty faces. "I only have the last two brain cells left, and they're fighting for the third place."
"I know that Lady Zoe is smart," the heroine said, her voice still cheerful. The empress had too much positivity in her that she didn't get disheartened despite her lack of interest in her 'job offer.' "Moreover, you've read the novel. You'll be fine!"
[Ah, now I understand why the male leads in romance fantasy novels find it hard to turn down a stubborn and bubbly female lead: the heroine's god-tier face is so mesmerizing!]
To be honest, she didn't know if she was too drunk that she was seeing hallucinations now or if she just had gone crazy. But here she was, currently sharing a table with the heroine of the novel called 'The Empress of Light.'
[It's the prequel of the hit webnovel called 'Raised as a Tyrant Empress.']
A while ago, after she closed her Korean barbecue restaurant called ;Z's Meat All You Can,' she began at her little 'self-pity party' and drank to her heart's content.
She wasn't in the mood to go home yet, since it was pouring outside. Thus, she stayed in the restaurant alone and get drunk. Only the light in the counter area was on, so it was dim inside.
[Just perfect for my gloominess.]
She was a heavy drinker, but since she was a little down these days, she easily felt wasted after chugging down seven bottles of soju. When she stood up to get her eighth bottle, her hip accidentally hit the table– causing her smartphone to fall on the floor.
Then, boom!
A bolt of lightning that literally came out of nowhere hit her smartphone.
Her restaurant's roof was fine, though. Plus, she wasn't hurt. Only one strange thing happened after the lightning struck her smartphone: Liane appeared where her toasted smartphone should have been.
["Do you want to be the new heroine of 'Raised as a Tyrant Empress?'] was the first thing that Liane said to her.
["Sure, if I get drunk enough,"] was her response to the heroine, thinking that she was just hallucinating because her mental health wasn't in its best condition lately.
After that, they exchanged introductions.
[And here we are now.]
"Lady Zoe, you're the only one who can help me," Liane said, then she held her hand and squeezed it gently. For someone who just came out of a webnovel, the heroine's hand was soft and warm. "Please enter the novel and save my daughter."
Ah, right.
The abandoned Crown Princess who would eventually grow up as a tyrant was Liane's daughter.
[And yeah, Liane died after she gave birth to the Crown Princess.]
Cliché, right?
"Miss, I'm unhinged," she warned the lady while pulling her hand from her grasp. Then, she poured soju into her shot glass. "I'm the craziest bitch in the neighborhood. I don't know the proper etiquettes and shit expected from a noble lady– the role that you want me to take."
She chugged the soju in one gulp.
[Should I visit my psychiatrist after this?]
"I'm not proud of this, but…" she continued, then she scratched her cheek before she continued speaking. "I used to be a delinquent before I turned over a new leaf and began my career as a chef."
She wasted two years of her life hanging out with the "bad kids" after she graduated from high school. But after coming back to her senses, she went to a culinary school for two years. Then, she was fortunate enough to be accepted in a professional kitchen as a prep cook– an entry-level position.
She dedicated three years of her life to that restaurant until she became a sous chef.
Eventually, she realized she wanted to have her own restaurant. Since she loved Korean beef so much, she opened Z's Meat All You Can. Her restaurant just had its first anniversary, and it was already the most famous samgyeopsal restaurant in the area.
Well, that was, until a recent scandal ruined her business.
"What if I tell you that I'll grant you one wish if you accept my offer?"
She smirked before she told the heroine her impossible wish. "There's only one thing that I desire right now, Miss. And it's turning back time to stop my crazy assistant chef from poisoning my customers."
Yes, that was the tragic event that happened just a few weeks ago.
Jeong-hoon, her assistant chef, wasn't in his right mind after being betrayed by his girlfriend and best friend. When Jeong-hoon discovered the two's affair, he invited them to her restaurant. And that scum served mushroom kimbap to his guests.
But instead of shiitake mushroom, Jeong-hoon used some poisonous mushrooms that the experts couldn't identify. Even Jeong-hoon didn't know what kind of mushrooms those were. Apparently, a 'friend' that he met in a subway gave the mushrooms to him.
[That idiot…]
Unfortunately, Jeong-hoon's girlfriend and best friend died after consuming too many of the unknown mushrooms.
Jeong-hoon was arrested and her restaurant was shut down while the investigation was ongoing. After that case was closed, the authorities allowed her to reopen her restaurant. But the case had become known nationwide.
Thus, she lost her patrons and customers.
[I just want to return to the time when my restaurant is thriving.]
"Is that your ultimate wish, Lady Zoe?"
"Yes," she said without missing a beat. "I hate it when food is used to hurt or kill people. I want to turn back time not just to save my restaurant, but to save my customers as well." She clenched her hands when she remembered that crazy kid. "I won't let that crazy Jeong-hoon step foot in my kitchen ever again."
"Then, your wish is my command," Liane said, then she snapped her fingers while giving her a warm, bright smile. "I will turn back time for you, Lady Zoe."
Zoe laughed, of course. "Yeah, right."
***
"I, ZOE KIM, twenty-five-year-old restaurant owner, humbly dedicate myself to Her Majesty, Empress Liane Sulien of the Great Sulien Empire," Zoe said while on her knees, her forehead kissing the floor. "In return for saving my precious customers and my restaurant, I shall enter your world and save the abandoned Crown Princess."
Now that she was sober, she finally accepted the fact that Liane was real.
To be honest, she had a laid-back personality. The adults around her told her she wasn't smart. Apparently, since she was slow-witted, she was the type of person who'd rather accept things without questions than overwork her brain.
[That's usually the case, but it's kind of different this time.]
How could she deny the truth when the heroine really turned back time?
Thanks to that, she was able to fire Jeong-hoon before he could execute his evil plans. No one died in her restaurant.
And finally, her life wasn't ruined by her crazy assistant chef.
She still couldn't believe it even after spending a whole day 'normally' at her restaurant. At first, she thought she just had a long dream. But when she was alone in the restaurant after it was closed, Liane once again appeared before her.
Like the first time that the heroine showed up, she was still literally glowing.
That was when she knelt and bowed before the empress.
She wasn't a good person, but she wasn't ungrateful. Even someone like her knew how to return the favor.
And Liane was her savior now.
"Thank you, Lady Zoe," Liane said in a relieved voice. "You may rise now."
She raised her head and smiled when she saw Liane's beautiful face again.
Even though the heroine was sitting on one of the restaurant's plain black chairs, Liane's beauty and grace made it look like she was sitting on the throne instead.
"I won't ask how you ended up coming to our world because my brain shuts down when it comes to complicated stuff," she said, then she sat on the chair across from Liane. "But I want to know how you plan to help me blend in once I entered your world."
Liane smiled before she explained. "You're going to take over Lady Zoanne Rochester's character once you entered the novel, Lady Zoe."
"'Zoanne,' huh? It's sounds like the longer version of my name," she commented, then her brows furrowed while she was trying to use her small brain.
God, she rarely used her head for things that weren't related to her restaurant.
So now she was having a headache.
"I don't remember that name though," she said to the empress. "The only characters that I can remember as of this moment are Runa, Eunice Harper, and Duke Isaak Viotto."
Runa was Liane's daughter, the abandoned Crown Princess.
Eunice Harper was the young lady who rescued and took care of Runa. The woman was depicted in the novel as Runa's mother figure.
And finally, Isaak Viotto.
"The ghoul duke," she said when she remembered Isaak's 'selling point.' "Isaak is the most famous character from the webnovel. Readers pitied him because the villains forcefully turned him into a Grimling– the book's official name for the ghoul race."
She remembered the ghoul race's official name in the book because 'Grimling' sounded 'gremlin' in her head.
Anyway…
"Isaak is depicted as manipulative and cruel, but the readers still like him because he's hot," she said with a shrug.
"Is that how readers see Isaak?" Liane asked in an amused voice. "I didn't really notice because, in my eyes, Isaak will always be a child. After all, he's my husband's brother."
Ah, right.
Duke Isaak Viotto was the half-brother of Emperor Rino Sulien– Liane's husband and Runa's father.
[If I remember it correctly, Isaak gave up his right to the throne when he turned into a Grimling.]
"Lady Zoe, do you remember what role did Lady Harper and Isaak play in the novel?"
"Eunice and Isaak rescued Runa from being sold as a slave when she was ten years old," she said in a careful voice. After all, that part of the novel was tragic. "That was the first time that Runa manifested her power." She paused before she continued. "Runa unconsciously annihilated everyone in the auction house except Eunice, Isaak, and the rescued slaves."
Liane's jewel-like blue eyes darkened. "Lady Zoe, that's the thing that I want you to prevent at all costs. I don't want my poor daughter to be a slave or to become a mass murderer. Because that's the catalyst that will drive Runa to become a tyrant empress in the future."
Oh, that was right.
In the novel, after that tragic event, Runa swore to get her revenge against the people who kicked her out of the Royal Palace.
"I don't want Lady Harper and Isaak to raise Runa as a future tyrant," Liane said in a sad voice. "I understand that both Lady Harper and Isaak have their reasons for destroying the empire. But as a mother, I don't want to see my daughter be used as a weapon." When she spoke again, her voice cracked a little. "You've read the novel, Lady Zoe. You know that His Majesty will die before Lady Harper and Isaak get to prove that Runa is the real Crown Princess. I want my daughter to be reunited with her father as soon as possible."
"Then, I have to take down the bitch asap," she said while nodding her head. "The new empress is the novel's villainess," she said. "As far as I remember, the empress was the mastermind behind Runa's disappearance."
Plus, the new empress had a sly older brother who would often mess with Eunice Harper and Isaak Viotto to hurt Runa.
[I think his name is Vaughn-something.]
"Lady Veronica wants her daughter to be His Majesty's heiress," Liane said while nodding her head thoughtfully. "Thus, she'll do everything to get rid of my daughter."
"But Princess Vera isn't the emperor's actual daughter. That girl isn't even an actual human," she said. She knew because she read the book. "Miss Liane, the emperor never slept with that bitch new empress or any other woman, for that matter. Your husband remained faithful to you even after you're gone."
"I know that, Lady Zoe," the heroine said softly, her face lighting up from happiness. "But to be honest, I don't mind if His Majesty finds a new love. My only wish is for that woman to accept and love my daughter as well." Her face suddenly turned sad. "But that person can't be Lady Veronica. After all, she's the person who wants to kill my daughter. She can be the empress for all I care. But I can't accept her as Rino's wife or Runa's stepmother."
She smiled because she finally heard Liane call the emperor by his name.
In the novel, the former empress would only call her husband intimately when they were alone. But it seemed like Liane had been carried away by her feelings. Thus, the slip-up.
[It's a shame that Liane died early in the story.]
"I think my small brain finally understands what you want me to do, Miss Liane," she said. "I have to save Runa before she gets brought into the auction house. Since I've read the novel, I know where to find her."
She had only read the first and second volumes of the story.
But all the information that she needed to find and rescue Runa was in the first volume. Even a dummy like her could do a good job with a 'cheat code' like that.
"I will help Runa prove that she's the real daughter of the emperor and not Princess Vera," she continued. "And finally, I have to reunite the real Crown Princess with her father so Eunice and Isaak don't have to raise her as a tyrant."
"That's right, Lady Zoe," the heroine said, her face a little brighter now that they weren't talking about the villainess anymore. "I won't send you into my world without protection.
"Thank you, Miss Liane."
The empress smiled and nodded before she continued with what she was saying. "I will give you three privileges: first, not only your soul will take over the body of the character that you're about to replace. Your vitality and skills will also be transferred to that body."
She tilted her head to one side. "What does it mean?"
"It means that you'd be able to control Lady Zoanne Rochester's body as if it's your own," Liane explained cheerfully. "Your cooking, fighting, and flirting skills won't disappear just because you're using another person's body."
Now that she was sober, the fact that she said that those were her three strong points made her cheeks flush from embarrassment.
She was a little shy about bragging that she was good at acting. On the other hand, she was ashamed of the fighting skills that she gained during her delinquent years. And lastly…
[A twenty-five-year-old virgin really said that she's good at flirting, huh?]
"Moreover, the real Lady Zoanne Rochester's skills won't disappear," the heroine continued.
"That's convenient," she said. "What are Zoanne's skills?"
The heroine smiled awkwardly. "To be honest, Lady Rochester is a sickly young woman. She also spent her youth in the temple because she wanted to be a priestess. Unfortunately, her weak body hindered her from achieving her dream. Thus, the temple sent her home."
[Oh. Thankfully, my good health will be transferred to that weak body.]
"Lady Rochester's Mana or magical abilities are also weak," Liane continued softly. "But like most noble ladies, Lady Rochester is good at embroidery, dancing, flower arrangement, organizing tea parties, and anything related to art."
"That's cool!" she said, excited to gain the skills that the heroine mentioned. "I've always wanted to try embroidery."
But her stupid hands were better at holding a knife instead of a needle.
"I'm glad to hear that," the heroine said, relieved. "The second privilege that you will get is the permission to bring one thing from this world to my world."
The first that entered her mind was her smartphone (that was miraculously fixed after Liane turned back time). But she realized that it would be useless since Wi-Fi didn't exist in the novel. She could use the other functions of the smartphone, such as the camera or the audio recorder. But what would she do if the battery died?
Thus, she opted for her most prized possession.
"I'll bring my lovely pastel pink knife then," she said. "It's my lucky charm."
"Alright," the heroine said. Then she turned serious. "The last privilege that I will give you is the ability to summon my Mana. It's called 'Helion.' If you show that to His Majesty, he will believe you when you say that I sent you into our world. But you can only use it once, so please use it wisely."
She groaned in complaint. "Miss Liane, I already told you that I'm not smart. And my memory sucks."
"That can't be true, Lady Zoe," the heroine said with a smile. "Now that I've told you the privileges you'll get to help you navigate my world, it's time to tell you something about Lady Zoanne Rochester's character."
"Fire away."
"Isaak executed Lady Rochester and her family after the first banquet in the novel."
She almost choked on her saliva when she remembered the event that Liane mentioned. "I think I remember a certain noble lady that tried to humiliate Isaak during the banquet where his character was first introduced. So, that was Zoanne Rochester?"
"Yes, Lady Zoe," the heroine said. "Don't worry, because you'll receive Lady Rochester's memories once you possess her body."
"Again, that's so convenient."
"I won't let you enter my world without giving you all the help and protection that I could offer, Lady Zoe."
"Thank you, Miss Liane," she said, then she snapped her fingers when she remembered something. "How will I enter your world? Don't tell me, my smartphone would turn into a portal?"
Liane laughed softly while rubbing her hands together. "Lady Zoe, please open your mouth."
Since she was a sucker for pretty faces, she opened her mouth without thinking.
Then, much to her shock, Liane put a small crystal-like blue mushroom in her mouth.
[What the…]
Zoe swallowed the whole strange mushroom out of shock. "Miss Liane, what did you just feed me?"
"A poisonous mushroom," Liane answered brightly, her blue eyes sparkling like a piece of jewelry. She looked so dazzling that she couldn't find it in her heart to get upset with the heroine. Plus, it was her fault for being too trusting. "Lady Zoe, you have to die to enter the novel."
[Yep, dummies like me really die early in the story.]
***
[I DIDN'T expect to meet Isaak Viotto, the ghoul duke, as soon as I entered the novel.]
Scratch that.
Zoe should say that she didn't expect to find the ghoul duke in a dark alley, but there she was.
Isaak Viotto was crouched down in the corner while holding a dog. Considering that he had his mouth wide open as if he was about to eat the dog, it was obvious that she just interrupted his meal. He only closed his mouth when he felt her presence, then he turned to her.
He had black hair and glowing violet eyes. Yes, his eye color was unique, but instead of thinking that his eyes were beautiful, she thought they were yummy. After all, his eyes reminded her of violet pansies that she would often throw in her salad to add color to it.
Isaak Viotto snarled at her, baring his fangs at her. "What are you looking at?"
"Your eyes," Zoe said without thinking. "They look yummy."
"Huh?"
"I like putting violet pansies in my salad," she explained. "They're delicious."
He just looked at her as if she was crazy.
She was aware that Duke Isaak Viotto was a GHOUL, and he wasn't a good person.
[But… oh, no. He's hot.]
"Give me the dog," Zoe told the ghoul duke. "I'll make you steak tartare in return."
[So, you're probably wondering how I got here...]
Let us rewind time a little.
***
NOTE: Hi! This is sola_cola. I reposted 'I Won't Let the Ghoul Duke Go Hungry' to join WSA 2022. Please ADD this to your LIBRARY. :)
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