It felt like my entire world caved in around me when my mother said those words.
In all of this time, I had never once imagined myself becoming a father before I was sixteen years old. I thought I was smart enough to never let that one happen. Yet with Lenore, I had let all my guards down. I loved her, and I trusted that we knew what we were doing together. It had been the stupidest thing I'd ever done. Now, on top of everything else I'd brought on us, I was also bringing a new life into the world.
All of this was swirling around in my brain as I sat on the back porch of our house. I'd come there to have some time alone after talking a little longer with Mia, and she'd let me come back here on the promise that I wouldn't go anywhere else.
Not that I wanted to. I had a lot to process now.
Even though I knew now that Lenore would survive, our future together was even more uncertain. I stared at the trees near the house as I thought about that. Would Lenore even want this? What if she changed her mind about everything between us? While I didn't think that she ever would, I couldn't stop myself from worrying about it.
A familiar scent in the air brought me back to reality, and I looked towards the steps to the deck to see my father coming up them. That was different. I hadn't even noticed he was around until now. I must've been really distracted.
"I thought I might find you out here. It's a good place to sit and think when you need to." Sean stated.
I remained where I was as he stopped in front of me, feeling subdued as I looked up at him.
"Are you still pissed with me?" I asked quietly.
"Well, I am disappointed with a lot of things you've done, but I can't stand here and say that I'm truly angry over them either. I already feel like a bit of a hypocrite with our argument earlier." Sean confessed. He glanced at the spot beside me, "Mind if I sit with you? I think you and I should talk about things now."
"Yeah, I guess we should." I acknowledged.
Sean quietly sat down beside me, relaxing his back against the swing. He looked calm now, which was a relief for me. I didn't want us to end up in another horrible fight.
"How's your back doing?" he asked me after a few minutes of silence.
"It's okay." I answered, "Still a little sore, but I don't really care about that right now."
"I'd imagine not."
I took in a long breath, looking forward because I couldn't face him.
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry about all of this too. You're right; you and Mom always end up having to save my ass when I do this kind of stuff. I can never keep myself out of trouble, and I really screwed up this time." I continued.
"Don't be so hard on yourself Sevee. Yes, you've made mistakes, but you aren't a bad kid, and you never have been. You're just too much of a Fox, just like me." Sean reasoned.
"But I'm not like you." I countered, finally looking at him, "You're much smarter than me, especially when it comes to life. You're always calm, and you always talk to people without getting into arguments or fights. You even married someone amazing like Mom, and into a family of Nephilim that accept you. I don't think I can ever be like that. Even being with Lenore, I feel like part of it was just following instinct for both of us now."
Sean wasn't dissuaded in his assessment of this, "Yes, a lot of it may have been, but I am no better than you when it comes to instincts, especially when I was your age. I'd actually say that I was much worse than you with many things."
"I don't see where that's possible. Everybody always talks about how calm and smart you've always been. Yeah, you had that stuff where you tried to attack Mom, but after she broke you, you didn't need to worry about it anymore, and it's not like you attacked anyone else before that. Michael and Raphael would've known if you did." I reasoned.
"No, I did not attack anyone else." Sean agreed, "But I also have my secrets from that time too, and your mother has carried them as well, even if she couldn't remember some things for quite a while."
"What are you talking about?"
I'd never heard him say anything like that before, and I'd always thought that Mia's memories of when they met were really clear. At least, with how she'd always talked about them to me and Seraphina.
Sean let out a small chuckle, which sounded resigned to me. It was like he didn't want to tell me this, but knew he had to.
"You know Sevee, as I've gotten older, I've come to realize more and more that it can be a lot better to clear the air with the ones you care about. This feeling has only grown for me in the last few years with you. As I said, I've watched you become more and more like me, and it's brought back those memories, along with worries for you. I know Fox nature is what it is, but I was hoping that you wouldn't repeat some of what I did." he confessed.
"I guess I can get where you'd worry about that, but what happened back then that was so bad aside from where Mom had to break you? You two have never said anything else was bad except for that." I told him.
"No, we have not." Sean nodded. He sat back beside me again, taking in the quiet around us. I did too, waiting patiently for him to continue, "As I said before, Fox nature tends to be quite dominant in many ways, even for those of us who are mixed with others. For me, even though I was mixed with a human, my father's bloodline and instincts proved much stronger. I suppose it didn't help that I also spent the first fifteen years of my life within the Veil around other Foxes. I accepted how they were with many things, and felt that I should be the same. I never even imagined that I'd end up having to leave there like I did."
"Out of curiosity," I interrupted, "did Sara and you leave after Sage died because she didn't want to stay there without him, or was she afraid of the other Foxes?"
"While I'd like to say that it was all because of her missing him, the latter is the full truth behind it. You see, your grandmother is a special kind of human woman to those within the Veil. She is what they refer to as a Beta. This awoke within her after Sage brought her there, and it happens from time to time with human females. Without Sage there to keep claim over her and protect her, there was a good chance that another powerful creature could've come along and tried to take her. If they did, then they could claim her for their own, whether it was with her consent or not." Sean explained.
I stared at him, "They can do that when the male dies?"
"Yes. It all has to do with the status of Alphas and Betas, but I'd rather get into the details of such things with you at another time. As I said before, things work very differently within the Veil than in this mortal world. For now, let us continue with saying that at the time we'd left, I had inherited many of the traits of an Alpha, no doubt passed along in the bloodline by my father, considering he was one of the most powerful ones. You also have apparently inherited some of them, though not as bad as they could be." Sean answered.
Now he had my full attention. While I'd heard the terms Alpha and Beta before, both with the Greek alphabet and in recent romance stories, I'd never imagined that that dynamic was real on the other side.
"So, what kind of traits does an Alpha have, and what did we inherit?" I pressed.
"Well," Sean thought about it before answering, "I suppose there are obvious traits that I could point out. Our handsome looks, our arrogance, our intelligence and powerful abilities. Those are traits that you and I share and inherited from my father. But there is also another trait that is an issue with most Alphas, and that is our view of others, especially women. I do not believe that you inherited this trait for your respect of others most of the time and the love you show for Lenore and your family. As for me, it was a bit of a different story when I first came into this world."
"What do you mean?" I dared ask.
Sean shook his head, closing his eyes and letting out a long breath.
"Your grandmother and I moved to Madison a little over two months before your mother ended up coming here. At the time, I had thought that I could control myself well here. None of the females caught my attention, and I was able to remain aloof towards most others. But from the moment I laid eyes on your mother, that all changed. I knew as soon as I saw her that I wanted her more than I'd ever wanted anything. But my original intentions were never to harm or kill her. What I wanted most was to claim her, to dominate her and make her mine alone."
"Seriously?" I managed to spit out, "You were out to use her like that?"
"Sadly, I was, and for a while, I actually did." Sean confessed, "When I said that your mother couldn't recall some things for a long time, it was because I made it that way. We've never told anyone else about this, but after I initially met your mother at the high school, I decided to put such ideas into action fairly quickly. While it's true that I did stalk her at night and watched her closely in the school, I also waited until one weekend when your grandfather left for the day on business and went to visit with her. Long story short, I convinced her to invite me in and easily seduced her, and she let me have her without hesitation. Once I was done, I had her clean up and sealed her memory as I left so that no one would catch me."
I was staring at him as he told me this, hardly able to believe it. Sean had really done something like that to Mia, and even sealed her memory of it afterwards? I was hard for me to even fathom him being so devious, especially to her. He was so devoted to my mother now that he practically worshipped her.
"I probably shouldn't ask this, but how many times did that happen?" I finally spoke after a few awkward moments of silence.
"Five all together, but I stopped after the incident where your mother broke that part of me. I confess that I also felt extremely guilty over all of it. Even if I knew then that I truly loved her, it still felt like I was using her during those times for my own benefit."
"I guess Fox nature really is nasty at times." I sighed.
"It can be." Sean agreed, "But moving on, this is why I say that I can't completely be angry over what's happened with you. It very well could've happened with me and your mother back then too, and we did end up having you and Seraphina when we were eighteen. But I also realize that this will be a harder road on you too. For that, I've been thinking about speaking with your mother about the options to help you and Lenore. If anything, perhaps we can take the baby for a while."
I looked down, thinking over what he'd just said. Yeah, it would probably be a big help to let him and Mia take the baby and raise it. I could also be there while they were growing up, and wouldn't have to miss anything. I could even help raise them and be their dad that way.
But at the same time, it didn't sit right with me. This kid was mine, whether I meant to create them or not. I needed to take care of them myself.
"I appreciate that Dad, and I know you and Mom would take good care of them, but I don't think I want to do that. They're my kid, so I want to be there and take care of them." I told him.
"You really do want to take on that responsibility? You are only fifteen Sevee, and being a parent is a forever responsibility." Sean reminded me.
"Yeah, I know." I nodded, "But I can do it, and I think Lenore would want that too. I'm already ahead in the home school program, so I can also start working part time to pay for what they need. Once I get my G.E.D, then I can find full time work and maybe get us a place of our own too. I'm the one who did all of this, so I need to be the one to start taking responsibility." I stopped for a minute, a resigned smile crossing my face, "Well, taking it for once in my life."
Sean let out a quiet laugh, "If that's what you want to do, then just know that we'll all still be here to support and help you. We don't simply abandon one another."
His words from our fight immediately came back to me, bringing out an ache in my chest. What we'd shouted at each other still cut like a knife.
"You didn't mean what you said, right? You'd never just throw me or Sera go into the Veil to survive on our own, no matter how rotten we might end up being. Well, I guess I'm talking more about me again. Sera's never been like that."
"Of course not." Sean looked pained as he answered me, "I don't know what the hell happened to me out there. It wasn't me at all. I'd never want to say or do anything like that to you, and I can't believe I did."
I decided it was time to come clean to him about mine and Noah's suspicions. If anything, he deserved to know and understand that it really wasn't him.
"Hey Dad, I need to talk to you about something. It's really important, and I think it was also what happened to us out there." I said as I turned to face him completely.
Sean turned to face me, "I'm going to take a wild guess that you believe it has something to do with Missy's spirit." he surmised.
"That is part of it." I confirmed, "The thing is, I didn't ask to visit Noah just because he wanted me to hang out with him. He wanted to talk to me about some stuff that's been happening to him. He thought it might have a connection to what's been happening to me, and the more we talked about it, the more I've been thinking that he's right. Something else is behind all of this Dad. It's something a lot bigger than just Missy's ghost being vengeful against you and me for what happened to her."
"What made the two of you come to this conclusion, and what is Noah saying has been happening to him?" Sean pressed me.
"I'm not sure how to explain it." I confessed.
"Just do the best you can, and I'll try to follow." Sean urged.
I thought of where to start before continuing, "Well, I guess the best place to start is with my recent dreams that Missy's been in. The last time I dreamed about her, it was in this cave like place. I think it might've been the Fox den that you told me about. There was this huge puddle of blood in the middle of the floor, and she rose up from it. But the weird thing was that when she did, there was this dark mist that rose up around her. It was like it was circling her, and then it shot out at me right before I woke up."
Sean visibly tensed up when he heard this.
"A dark mist? Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I'm sure of what I saw in that dream. But this is the scariest part of it. When you caught me sneaking out, I got into this argument with Mom after you left, but it felt like I wasn't in control as it went on. It was like something was telling me that I was more powerful than her, that I should hurt her. It felt so dark that it scared the hell out of me, and I had to run back up to my room to stop it from trying to control me. That's not me Dad. I'd never, ever hurt Mom. I've always loved her so much, and I wanted to start protecting her more now that I'm older. On top of that, it really did feel like when that mist shot out at me in that dream. It was like the same cold darkness tried to take over my mind."
I stopped as I heard Sean suddenly speak.
"It can't be." he whispered, holding his head. There was a devastated look in his eyes, "Is that why I didn't save her?"
"Dad?" I said, hearing my own hesitation in my voice.
Sean slowly pulled himself back together and turned back to me. He still looked upset, but was doing his best to keep it in check.
"I'm speaking of when Missy died." he explained, "You remember that I told you before about how horrid Fox nature can be, and how I allowed Flint to kill her. I truly believed for the last eighteen years that that was why I did such a thing. But you are right. That feeling you described, it came over me when I was fighting with you, and I had to leave after your mother broke it because I realized that it was far too familiar, even though I didn't want to accept it. I had the same feeling come over me when Missy Renaldi died, and I couldn't fight it then. It controlled me, and forced me to believe that I needed her to die. I was far too weak to fight it or even understand what it truly was."
"It's not that you were weak Dad." I insisted, leaning forward a little to look him in the eye, "There's something evil following this family. Noah and I were putting it together right before what happened with Lenore. It's like this thing has been trying to destroy the Renaldis since the beginning, like it's some kind of demon or demonic energy."
Sean glanced around us again, looking like he was listening for something. Probably any sign of Mia or any of the others coming there. But everything remained still and silent.
"Tell me what you and Noah were figuring out. Perhaps I can help too. I was born within the Veil and raised there for my first fifteen years, so there's a chance that I can figure out more about this from things I've heard before." he stated quietly as he turned his attention back to me.
"Maybe, but I'm not sure. It seems like it's been going on for a really long time with what we were piecing together." I responded, "The thing is, we think that it might've started with Annabelle Renaldi. Michael told us that she was a childhood survivor of the Death Camps. When we thought about it, he also said that Annabelle had three children with that Angel who started our family, but none of those children had their blood awaken to be full Nephilim. Plus, only the oldest had kids, and he was Michael, Raphael and Gabrielle's dad."
Sean was easily following me with all of this, "I see your point, and it would fit that something more was going on with them not changing. From everything I've ever heard, those born with Nephilim blood, whether in a family like this or from the Fallen, always awaken as full Nephilim by their early twenties. For three to not do so, especially being first descendants of an Angel, there had to be something that went very wrong at some point." he agreed with me.
"Yeah, but there's also more that caught our attention. We were told that Gabrielle had a twin sister, and that something really horrible happened to her as a kid, and she ended up killing herself when she was sixteen. But right before she killed herself, their mom committed suicide. Michael also mentioned to me that his uncle, the Angel's second son, died suddenly too. But stop and think about Noel and my great grandmother. They both killed themselves, and obviously had some sort of mental problems before to cause that. Missy also developed severe mental problems before she died, and now she'd haunting me with this darkness. That can't all be coincidence, right?" I reasoned.
Sean was considering my words very carefully, and the more I thought about them, the more I felt a chill creeping up my spine. If we were right, then we were all in danger, and there might not have been anything we could do to stop more tragedy from coming.
"It all fits." Sean finally spoke, "While I've never encountered an actual Fallen, I have heard tales of ones who can place generational curses on families. This darkness very well may be from such a curse. Perhaps this Fallen did something back when that Angel was with Annabelle to cause him to be returned to the Heavens, then left this curse to continue affecting them."
"It makes sense when you put it that way." I agreed.
"I admit that this is all conjecture right now, but it does fit well enough to explain many things, and I have little doubt that Michael, Raphael and Gabrielle have had their own suspicions of such things for a long time too. It's quite possible that they don't wish to talk about them because they fear calling up any more that could cause harm." Sean went on.
"What good has that done now?! I've been suffering with this stuff ever since I can remember, and now Noah's starting to suffer from it too!" I argued.
Sean held up a hand to quiet me, remaining calm like he'd always been.
"I understand where you're coming from Sevee, and it upsets me too, but I also understand such a mindset. They truly have tried to protect this family in the only way they've known how. There are very few who understand such things as this outside of the Angels and the Fallen, and they've never gotten the chance to meet any of them, even their own Angel." he reasoned.
I backed down a little then. He was right. The Renaldi family had dealt with a lot of different creatures throughout the years, but never an actual demon.
"So, what can we do? We're just Foxes, and the rest of the Renaldis are Nephilim. They've got a lot more pull than we do with all this stuff, and if they can't get answers, then how will we?" I asked him, feeling slightly hopeless now. If that was true, then there was no end to this without that Angel's intervention.
"It's not all hopeless Sevee." Sean reassured me, "I believe there is one creature who might be able to give us more insight to all of this. He's had to work with the Higher Powers for thousands of years now, so I'm certain he knows how such things work. My only worry is that making contact with him could be very dangerous for you and me."
"What creature is it? Is it one you can easily find on the other side?"
"Very much so. He's one of the four rulers, the Luna Dog, Jekia."
My eyes widened in shock as I heard this. He was the one that Lenore had told me about, the ruler that had been around when Sage had died, and she claimed had taken the blame for his death out of guilt.
"You and Sara still believe he killed Sage, right?" I probed, "That's why you're saying it's risky."
"Yes. Even if your friend claims that Jekia didn't do so, we don't know for certain. It very well could be that he did kill my father, and he may hold a grudge against us as his son and grandson." Sean explained.
I shook my head, "I don't believe that one Dad, and even if he does, we don't know anybody else who might be able to help us understand this better. Please Dad, we have to do something. We can't let anyone else die like that, and what if it aims for Mom too, or Seraphina?" I insisted.
Sean let out a long breath, looking defeated.
"I know, and I can't let that happen to them or any of our family. This family has become my own. They've always accepted and loved your grandmother and me. Even if trying to talk to Jekia ends up killing me, I'll do anything to protect and save them, and I'd certainly die to save you and your sister if that's what it takes."
"You're not gonna die Dad. You said it yourself. We're part of the Renaldi family, and they love us just as much as we love them. If we talk to Michael and Raphael, then maybe they can use their influence to help us talk to Jekia." I reasoned.
"Maybe."
The look Sean gave me shocked me a little. It was another that I'd never seen before, but it wasn't anything mean or disapproving. It was more like he was proud as he looked at me.
"Um, what?" I managed to ask.
Sean chuckled, "It's nothing. I'm just impressed with how much you've grown up and matured."
"You are?"
"We all have our issues Sevee, and we're not always going to make good choices in life, but it doesn't change who we are inside. You and I may be Foxes, and we may carry Alpha traits that were passed on to us, but we also have found our place as protectors within this family. Don't be so hard on yourself with this child either. I know you'll be a good father, even if you didn't anticipate being one so soon."
It did feel good to hear him say that, and that was all I wanted now too. Even if Lenore and I hadn't thought this would happen, we could take care of our family. Somehow, my family and I would stop this curse too, and make sure that this other Fox could never bother Lenore again.
Sean stood up, offering me a hand, "Let's go back to Raziel's. We can check on Lenore, then talk to your grandfather about all of this."
"Yeah, sounds good." I agreed, letting him help me stand.
Yet even with this conviction we had, I couldn't help feeling that sense of darkness lingering. This was far from over, and the road ahead might end up being a lot rougher than any of us ever imagined.
And this curse wasn't going to let us go without a real fight.