Another week passed before I learned how to pull my wings in and control them. I admit that it was kind of a depressing week. Sean had not come around to see me, although we'd gotten reassurances from Sara that he was doing fine.
This was all so confusing to me. Sean had to have known that Michael would trust him completely after what he'd done to save me, yet he hadn't even attempted to see me or contact me. It was making me wonder if we'd all misread things with him.
But even though it hurt, I was determined not to let it get to me. I held my head up and passed the next month and a half of summer on my own. Well, not exactly on my own. Raziel and Anna were always around. But I still felt that bit of loneliness, even with them. Every time we were in town, I discreetly looked around in hopes of seeing Sean. Yet, he remained a no show.
Even Raphael commented on it after two weeks. He reasoned that Sean must have went back to the other side of the Veil for whatever reason. Hearing that only added to my worries over all of this. Was he trying to avoid me and keep me from getting the wrong idea?
Summer finally ended, and before I knew it, the first day of my Senior year of high school had arrived. Yet I didn't feel that excited as I sat in my Mazda that morning and looked at the school.
I knew I had a serious problem now. I couldn't stop thinking about that fox. Where Zane had once dominated my mind, now he'd been replaced by Sean, and since no one had seen a sign of him for the rest of the summer, we didn't even know if he'd be coming back to school.
Michael had admitted that one to me the night before. He'd been a bit concerned, considering he'd seen right through me all summer about this.
"Don't get your hopes up too much dear. Sometimes the ones like Sean just end up disappearing." he'd told me.
I knew that Michael was only trying to help me, but I really didn't need to hear that. Letting out an exhausted sigh, I rested my head on my steering wheel. It was still early, so I didn't have to worry about others seeing me. I was only the third car in the parking lot, and the other two people had already gone inside.
Stupid fox, I thought bitterly. Why'd you have to go and make me like you?
A knock at my window startled me out of my sulking. I looked at the window, fully expecting to ring Raziel out for scaring me. But it wasn't him standing there. Instead, familiar emerald eyes were regarding me with what looked suspiciously like concern. I couldn't believe it. Was I seeing things?
"You certainly pick some odd places to rest, don't you?" Sean commented as I put the window down. One may have thought that he was teasing me, but he sounded very serious.
"Sean? You... came back?" I managed to say.
"Sorry. I only got back late last night. Were you that worried?" Sean asked, opening the door for me.
"Of course I was! You didn't tell anybody you were leaving, and you were hurt!" I reasoned as I got out of the car. I almost forgot to grab my back pack for my shock.
"I'm fine now, and Mom did know about it, although I'm not that sure that she would've told Michael or Raphael too quickly. She wasn't very happy over what happened." Sean admitted.
So Sara didn't tell us anything because she was blaming me. That sucked to know.
But before I could say anything, he held my chin and make me look at him, "Hmm, I knew something looked different. No glasses now."
I blushed as I pulled away, "I don't need them anymore. That's all."
"I see. Though you were just as pretty with them. I suppose this will take me some getting used to." Sean remarked, flashing me that familiar smile.
"Yeah. I'm still getting used to it too." I admitted, forcing myself to look back at him.
"Why don't we go ahead in now? I'd imagine they have homeroom posted." Sean suggested.
It felt a little strange to be walking beside him again, yet nice too. He was back, and he was talking to me again. But there was something else that was still nagging at me. Well, two somethings.
"Hey Sean, are you sure you're okay? It looked like you were hurt pretty bad."
"You were that worried about me?" Sean responded.
"Of course I was!" I responded, "I saw that thing, and I saw what she did to you. Then you disappeared on me. Why wouldn't I be worried?"
Sean stopped and was quiet for a moment, then suddenly pulled me close and hugged me. I almost jumped. My back was still a little sensitive from my wings, and even little touches still affected it. Thankfully, I'd learned to completely control them now. It had been hard to make them stay in when my back was touched.
Sean didn't seem to notice this. If he did, he didn't say anything. He sounded thoughtful as he spoke.
"I'm sorry, but I honestly didn't think you'd worry so much, and I wasn't trying to run away or anything like that. I was just taking care of myself in my own way."
"What do you mean?" I asked as he let me go and I could face him again.
"Why don't we talk about it later?" Sean suggested. He stepped over to the board with me to look at our homerooms, "It seems we have our first class together. Let's go there and find out the rest of our schedules."
Okay, so he was as good as Michael at avoiding subjects when he wanted to. I'd later become positive of that.
But I didn't have the heart to argue with him. Instead, a realization had hit me. I had my first class with him. That meant I would see him for at least an hour every week day. It was like a dream come true after this long past summer!
As it turned out, I had all but one of my classes with Sean. While I was beyond elated, Raziel wasn't quite as thrilled. He stated that much when he heard about it at lunch. He'd likened it to being some cosmic joke. Anna, on the other hand, was thrilled, and made no bones about telling me so, even if it bothered her boyfriend.
I was getting used to this dynamic with her too. She was convinced that the connection that Sean and I shared wasn't a coincidence. I confess that I was starting to believe that too. There was a reason I'd lost Zane and ended up there in Madison, and that reason may have been this boy.
I reflected on all of this as I sat in my last class with him. The teacher had said that she wanted us to take the first fifteen minutes to write down our thoughts everyday in a journal, so we had some quiet time. It was perfect for me to get my thoughts in order for what I wanted to do now that Sean had returned.
The first thing I knew I should do was talk to my father about everything. If I wanted to try and have a real relationship with Sean, then it would be best if I knew Michael was on board with all of it. Yes, I was sure that he trusted him now, but it never hurt to double check. Besides, he was my dad, so I expected him to be at least a little bit protective when it came to boys, not to mention I owed him more trust too. It was a two way street.
The thought of a real date with Sean was very appealing too as I let myself envision it. I'd never been on one with him before, although I supposed that the Prom a few months before could count. I wouldn't want too much out of one; just maybe seeing a movie and having dinner at some fast food place. That would've made me happy, as long as I could be with him.
I snapped back to reality as I felt a note being pushed under my arm. Sean was sitting at the desk beside me, and had discreetly passed it to me. I'll admit that he could keep a good poker face doing that, though I saw him glance over at me with his eyes, a small knowing smile crossing his face. I returned that smile and opened the note in my notebook, trying to make it look like I was looking over what I'd written.
Don't worry about this getting caught. Ms. Keen doesn't care much unless it's disruptive. But I'm starting to get bored. How about you?
Sounded just like Sean to say something like that. I wrote back, hoping this might open a door for us to talk about having a date.
A little. I'm not into writing journals.
I quietly slid the paper back to him. He looked at it, then wrote back.
I wanted to ask you something. Do you think that Michael would allow you to do something with me this evening?
I had to reread that a few times. Here was my chance. I was sure that Michael wouldn't object to this much. After all, Sean had saved my life before, and Michael did say that he trusted him with me for that. We could always talk about more of this afterwards, and it wasn't like I couldn't text him and tell him what was going on.
With those thoughts in mind, I quickly wrote back.
Sounds fun, and I don't think he'd mind. What were you thinking?
Sean smiled when he read that, then passed the note back to me.
It's nothing much. I thought that we'd get some dinner somewhere and stop by a place I know. You would trust me that I wouldn't let anything happen, right?
To be completely honest, I still felt a bit unsure looking at those words. After all that happened, it felt like I tended to put a lot of trust in this fox. I'd been doing that even before what had happened at St. Andrews. I knew that I should've been scared stupid of him after I'd broken him when he'd tried to attack me, but instead, I'd always felt bad whenever I thought of him. I could never deny my attraction to him since the day we met. There was something about Sean that was just irresistible.
I decided to be honest with my answer.
I trust you.
I had the distinct feeling that Sean was surprised when he read that. But he didn't write back. Instead, he waited until the class was over to speak to me.
"I admit that I'm a bit surprised. I didn't think you'd agree so easily." he said as he turned to face me.
"I know, but I want to go. I told you before that I wanted to know you, and this would be a good way to start, wouldn't it?" I reasoned.
"You have a point."
He stood and helped me to my feet. I could feel the eyes on us again as he did. It had been like this all day. No doubt most of the guys there had noticed my looks had changed a little, and if they weren't looking before, they were definitely looking now.
Even though Raziel had warned them away from me from the start, but it hadn't stopped at least two from catching up to me in the halls and trying to weasel their way in to speak to me. Guess not all of them backed off from Raziel after all.
But they did when Sean stepped in. The second incident after lunch had been almost funny, considering the guys actually seemed intimidated by the looks he gave them. Anna swore up and down in our next class together that Sean had been jealous.
Sean and I met up and walked to our lockers after our last class was over. I'd been anticipating this for that last hour, and was a little grateful that Anna had slipped away already to find Raziel.
"So where did you want to go?" I asked him as we stood there.
"It's nothing too special. We could go to Snappers and get something. It's a nice afternoon, so we'd be able to eat outside and enjoy it. They're not overly expensive either." Sean suggested. He sounded pretty upbeat about all of this. I must have made his afternoon.
"Go to Snappers when?" I suddenly heard Raziel say.
Oh yeah. I had forgotten that I probably should tell him about this, but I'd been so happy over finally getting a date with my fox that I'd forgotten.
Raziel had come over to us now, giving Sean his personal tell-me-or-I'll-maim-you look.
"This afternoon. I invited Mia out and thought that would be a nice place to go. I trust you're not objecting?" Sean answered in a matter of fact tone.
"You know you're treading thin ice here. I said I'd give you a shot, not that I trust you yet." Raziel warned him.
"I know. But you could let me prove myself, or did my life not mean enough?" Sean countered.
Raziel was hard pressed to argue over that one, even if he refused to back down completely.
"Look, I don't have to like this, and you know what's going to happen if you let anything happen to her. I know you're not that stupid." he went on.
"Of course, and I won't allow anything to happen. Tell Michael that I promise to have her back by dusk, and he can call my cell or hers if he gets worried." Sean assured him.
"You said you'd try." I reminded Raziel.
"All right." Raziel reluctantly agreed, "But I mean it. If something happens to her, I'll personally kill you."
"You don't have to worry about that. I know you understand what I mean."
I was kind of glad to be walking away from all of this. But before we left, I decided that it would be better to reassure Raziel by myself.
"Hey Sean, let me talk to him for a minute, then I'll be right back." I said as we stood beside his Jeep.
"Go ahead. It might be better if you do. He does have a right to feel like he does." Sean agreed.
Raziel was standing near his Lexus as I went over to him. I had the distinct feeling that he'd been waiting for me. No surprise there. Raziel wasn't letting this go without getting his two cents in.
"You know I don't like this, Mia. Even if you did change, he's still dangerous." Raziel complained as we stood there.
"Come on Raziel. I know you don't mean that. If you did, you wouldn't be giving him this chance, and he did save my life." I reminded him.
Raziel sighed, glancing back at Sean, who was waiting by his Jeep patiently.
"Listen, if anything happens, fly away from there. It's not just Sean you have to worry about. Sometimes other things show up too, and he's only a half breed. I'm holding him to protecting you, but there's only so much he can do too."
"You sound like you really know now." I noted.
"Call it having a dad who knows most of it. But seriously, I don't think Sean's up to something now. I just want to be safe. Please use that pretty little head that God gave you." Raziel begged.
"Wow, thanks. You're calling me a moron." I retorted, rolling my eyes.
These exchanges were very normal between the two of us. It actually broke the ice a little.
Raziel chuckled, "I know how you get, and I know what you've been thinking. Just take these words from somebody who knows, and be careful, okay?" he reiterated, patting my shoulder playfully.
"I will. I'll give you a call when I get back." I promised.
After my conversation with Raziel, Sean followed me home so that I could drop off my car, and I hopped into his Jeep. It would've been a huge lie to say that I wasn't nervous, but I was trying hard to keep myself in check. I was getting my wish now, and I wanted things to work out for this first real date.
"I guess Raziel trusts me more than he wants to admit." Sean commented as he drove the Jeep onto the main road.
"Just give him some time. I think he's just nervous after some of the stuff that's happened." I told him.
"It certainly has been active for him since you came to live here. But on the subject, I'll admit that I was a little bit surprised myself when I first saw that you'd come here. I'd heard that you only came here during the summer, and hearing that your grandmother had suddenly sent you up here to live with your father only added to that." Sean admitted.
I looked down, feeling a little embarrassed. It wasn't like he didn't know about those things, but it wasn't exactly something that I wanted to talk about on a date.
"I know, but nothing can change that now, and maybe it was a good thing too. It wasn't like there was much down there for me anyway." I responded.
Sean nodded, "I see. I'm sorry if I've hit a sore spot." he apologized.
"It's okay. Mom wasn't around much anyway. She had a lot of her own problems."
I shivered a little as I remembered some things that had happened right before I'd been sent up there to live with Michael again. They were things I didn't tell anyone about, and with good reason.
Mom hadn't been right for a long time, but it seemed like she'd turned even worse in that time. Even my grandmother seemed to fear her at times. Mom had become more unpredictable in those last two months, and her fits in her room were even more frightening. I'd hear her muttering all hours of the day and night, and her walls had become filled with strange scribbles.
I had wondered after I'd been able to settle in with Michael if this was the real reason that Grandmom had made me leave and live with him. Maybe she feared that my mother would end up hurting me or even try to kill me. Too bad I felt like I'd never be able to ask her.
I did my best to push all of this to the back of my mind. I on a date and that stuff was the last thing I needed to keep thinking about. So I did my best to focus on the here and now.
Our dinner turned out very nice. I was learning a lot about Sean in that time, and the two of us being there together felt comfortable. I liked having that feeling. I don't think I'd ever had it that much in my life, even with Zane before.
Afterwards, we got back into the Jeep and headed out to where Sean said he wanted to take me. It turned out to be a place in the woods near his house. But as we parked, the distinct feeling came over me that we weren't alone out there.
Sean looked around as he turned it off, apparently sensing the same thing, but he didn't seem worried.
"It's okay. It's just an old friend." he assured me as he hopped out.
"An old friend?" I repeated, letting him help me out of the Jeep.
"Yes. He probably stayed around because he's been curious. Don't worry. He'd never think of harming you. It's not in his nature now." Sean promised. He looked at the bushes a few feet in front of us, "You could've told me that you planned on hanging around, Manake."
A large black fox that was the size of a man slowly came out. He regarded us calmly with vivid golden eyes.
"I was wondering if you'd show up with your company today." he commented through telepathy. His voice sounded very deep and wise. I also noted as I looked at him that he had multiple tails.
Sean looked at me, "This is Manake. He's an old friend of my father's. Manake, this is Mia Renaldi. She's Michael's daughter, and the one I've been telling you about." he introduced us.
"Nice to meet you." I managed.
I was still feeling a bit of shock at seeing another fox, and a full blooded one at that. He felt powerful too. Score one for being an awakened Nephilim now.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, my dear." Manake greeted me. He then moved towards the edge of the woods, "My apologies for being so brief, but I am needing to get back now. I've meandered long enough on this side. But I am happy to see the one who seems to have finally reined in the renegade here. I look forward to the chance to speak to you more another time."
With that, he turned and headed into the woods, disappearing into the dense brush. I looked at Sean.
"Where's he going?" I had to ask.
"He's going back home for now. Manake has his own to take care of, but he does enjoy getting away and visiting with me whenever he can. He's actually considered an elder." Sean explained. He squeezed my hand, "Come. Let's head on."
I agreed, following him down a hidden path, "So where are we going? You still haven't told me." I said as we moved through the brush.
Sean flashed me a mischievous smile, "It's a surprise."
It took a lot for me not to blush when I saw that smile. He looked so happy now. In fact, he'd seemed so happy in the last two hours that I was beginning to wonder if he was the same guy I'd thought I'd come to know.
But when I really thought about it, I'd seen this side of him once before. Back at the Prom. Sean had been in a very good mood that night. He'd claimed that it was because he was able to be with me.
That one made my heartbeat quicken. I hadn't allowed myself to think that he'd really meant it when he said he loved me, but a lot of the proof was definitely there.
After another few minutes of walking, we came to a hidden clearing. I was amazed at what I saw there. It was so beautiful. The late afternoon sunlight filtered through the tops of the trees, illuminating the soft green grass below, and there were many wildflowers all around.
"This is beautiful." I heard myself say as we stepped out there.
"Welcome to my secret place. I come here when I want time for myself, and I believe you are the first other to ever step foot here." Sean admitted.
He picked up a small branch that had fallen from a nearby tree. As I watched, it suddenly morphed into a large red rose.
"How did you...?" I started as he handed it to me.
"I have a talent for manipulating matter. You could call it a fox trait. That's how I've always been able to get past your father's security system. I also use this ability to transform things as I need to for my own defense." Sean explained.
"I see."
I smiled as I looked at the beautiful rose in my hands. What an amazing talent he had to make something this beautiful.
The two of us sat down under a large willow tree as we continued talking.
"So, why bring me here? Is it because you wanted me to see this?" I asked, still playing with the rose in my hands.
"It's something like that, but I also thought it would be appropriate to allow you to see some of what my world looks like. Like I said, I've never really been a bad person, or whatever I'm supposed to be, and I'm very grateful to you for what you did back then, though I wish it had been more out of will then out of desperation. I've never really been proud to be me, but ever since the day you came here, it's felt like the meaning has returned to me." Sean explained.
"What do you mean?" I asked, not quite following him.
Sean laughed, "I'm sorry. I suppose I am speaking in riddles again. Forgive me. Sometimes I find it hard to be what they'd call blunt when it comes to you."
He always spoke so eloquently. One would not have thought that Sean was only sixteen when he spoke like that.
"Are you sure you're only sixteen? Most guys I know don't talk like you do." I commented.
"I know." Sean acknowledged, "I guess it's a bad habit that I picked up early in life. I am sixteen, but I had a father who was thousands of years old by the time I was born, and grew up around other creatures much like him. I suppose I naturally took to his way of speaking after hearing it for so long."
"It's pretty eloquent." I complimented.
"Yes, I'd have to agree when I really allow myself to think about it, but that's the way that all of the foxes tend to speak, especially the older ones."
For a long moment, the two of us sat there and listened to the birds singing up in the trees. A slight breeze was blowing, and I could hear the leaves swaying with it. It felt so peaceful out there, and my soul was at ease.
Sean finally spoke again, "By the way, I have been meaning to ask you something. I know we spoke of it before, but it's still been on my mind. You're sure that you've never met any other Nephilim before?" Sean asked.
I shook my head, "No. I didn't even know that I was one until you came along, and Michael had to tell me. Why?"
Sean thought about his answer, "It just surprises me. That's all. I've traveled with Manake a lot since my father's death, and I had always heard that there were three clans, not to mention original Nephilim called Shadow Wings. Yet, the only Nephilim that any have ever claimed to see have been the Renaldis. Not to mention that the rumors claimed that there should be an angel with each clan. Yet, there is none here. It's very odd." he finally explained.
That was right. Michael and Raphael had mentioned those things before. They'd apparently done a lot of looking too when it came to us and the things around us. Yet they'd never found any like us, nor had they met the angel that had started our family.
"Do you think we might not be good after all?" I had to ask.
"No." Sean replied, "I personally believe that a lot of cultures are very wrong about many things in the spiritual world. I've never believed that any Nephilim were truly created to be bad, and especially not these clans. Maybe there isn't an angel directly involved with your family at this time, but I do believe that he's taking care of you. He's probably watched over everything for a very long time."
I knew in my heart that he was right, and looking at the bracelet that I now always kept on my right wrist, I wondered if the priest I'd seen at the airport that night wasn't a man at all. Maybe that perfection and warmth that I'd felt with his very presence was much more. Maybe he was the angel that made our family.
But as I thought about that, I couldn't stop thinking of another face as well. I let out a sigh. Maybe it was time I came clean, at least to him. If anything, he deserved to know that there had been someone before him that had once had my heart.
"You know, there's something else I think I should tell you too. It's something I've never told anyone." I spoke up.
"Hmm? What is it?" Sean asked. I could see him looking back over at me from the corner of my eye.
Here went nothing, "About two years ago, back in Miami, I met this guy that I fell in love with. His name was Zane, and we met at this art class that I started taking at the Rec Center near my house. He was a really nice guy, and it was easy for us to get close really quick. But right before I had to come back here for the summer with my dad, he suddenly had to leave. It was very quick, and I didn't get much of a chance to say anything but goodbye." I confessed.
I felt Sean tense up slightly beside me, but he remained understanding.
"So that's why you've been so distant to the boys here. You had your heart broken before." he surmised.
I nodded, "Yeah. It was hard after that happened. I fell so hard for him, and all at once, he was just gone. I didn't tell anyone else about it except for Anna, and being up here for the summer actually helped my broken heart a little bit. But I still think about him sometimes, and it still hurts."
For a few long moments, everything was quiet between us. But then, I felt Sean move over and sit behind me, pulling me back in a hug.
"You've suffered a long time alone with this, haven't you?" I heard him say gently.
I closed my eyes, relaxing as I leaned back against him.
"Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I got too much into it and scared him away. I've thought about it for so long, and I still don't understand, and I don't want to scare you away too." I whispered.
"It wasn't your fault. Sometimes people are like that. But you're not going to scare me away. I can promise you that. I'll never leave you." Sean promised.
I let out a long breath as I continued leaning into that comforting embrace, "I believe you, but you won't tell them, right?" I pleaded.
"Of course not. It is not in me to do so, and I won't betray your trust like that. I promised that I'd be here for you, and I'm keeping that promise forever." Sean assured me as he gave me a soft smile.
I smiled back as I turned to face him, "You do really care about me, right? This isn't all because of what I did to you?" I confirmed.
"No. That has nothing to do with this. I cared about you long before that, and it's only grown in the time that we've been together. I told you before that I'd give my life for you, and I meant it. I'm happiest when I'm with you, and that's all that matters to me." Sean told me.
I confess that the small, nagging doubt was there in the back of my mind about breaking him. But I decided to just let it go. If Sean wanted to stay beside me and love me, then I was more than willing to let him.