Raziel ended up coming back to school about a week later, but it was right after he did that I noticed that Sean was nowhere around again.
At first, Raziel had thought that maybe he was trying to avoid him because of his new wings. As for me, I wasn't that sure about that one. Truthfully, I was kind of worried. Even with what Sean was, it seemed a bit odd that he'd suddenly decide to disappear for a while, and after another week with no sign of him, Raziel and I decided to go to Jameson and check with Sara on where he could've been.
But that wasn't much help either. She claimed that he wasn't there, and while she'd assured us that he'd be back eventually, she refused to say where he'd gone. This was a bit frustrating to Raziel and I both, but there wasn't much we could say to it. I didn't doubt that Sara probably did blame us a little over what had happened to her son. Maybe she did have the right to keep things from us.
I did end up asking Michael about it later that evening too. When I did, he said that he wasn't surprised. Sean did tend to leave from time to time, at least, according to what Sara had told him before. The ones like him apparently had a tendency to cross over to the other side of the Veil when it suited them. That was considered normal behavior when they had such a strong inhuman blood in them.
But even after he explained that to me, I couldn't help feeling bothered on a slightly deeper level with it all. As much as it pained me to admit it, I really wanted to see him again.
I can't say for sure when I first began realizing how much I was coming to think about Sean. Maybe this had been brewing from the moment the two of us met. Maybe that was why it hurt to think that we really hadn't spoken since the day he'd made his first apology to me. A part of me had thought that he'd attempt to speak to me more, even if he had to get past Raziel once he came back. What a disappointment it had ended up being when he'd been a no show on me both at school and in the area in general.
I'd even tried his cell number, but got no answer. That one upset me. Why give it to me if I couldn't call him? I considered seriously giving this guy a piece of my mind when he came back.
Well, if he came back. By then, I was truly beginning to wonder if he would.
Another week would pass, and Spring Break would come and go. But on that Tuesday back, it was just me returning. Raziel had warned me the night before that he was skipping that day. Being off from our short Spring Break, he'd decided that he wasn't quite ready to be back yet. Yes, it was the lamest excuse that I'd ever heard, but it seemed like Raphael was going to let him get away with it this time.
As for Anna, she was out sick. She had a bad sinus infection.
To be completely honest, I almost felt lost that morning without them as I pulled into that parking lot.
But I also immediately saw an opportunity as I parked my car. Sean's black jeep was parked there. He'd actually come back, and with neither Raziel nor Anna there today, I knew what that meant.
I could talk to him without worrying about any interference.
Of course, that was, if I could find him. This was a big school. I knew that Michael probably wouldn't say anything to it if I did. He'd told me before that it was my choice if I wanted to acknowledge Sean at school. So I decided that I would take my chances.
I was looking around as I entered the school and headed to my locker, seeing if I could spot him, but I had no luck. I didn't know what his first class was, so I was resigned that I would have to wait until lunch time to speak to him.
Of course, I also felt nervous as I went through my first two classes. I had no idea of how this meeting would go after all this time. But I was determined to do this. I needed to see Sean, and speak to him at least one more time. Then maybe, just maybe, I could get him out of my head.
I grabbed my books and hurried out as soon as the lunch bell rang. I had no idea if I'd really find him, but I was determined to at least try. I was sure that he had to be there somewhere. Hopefully, I'd be able to spot him in a crowd.
I ended up getting lucky. Going by the library windows, I stopped when I saw him sitting in there at one of the tables. He was working on something in a notebook. Judging by the open book beside him, I took a guess that it was some kind of homework.
Drawing in a breath to steady myself, I opened the library door and walked in. The calm of the place greeted me as compared to the bustle of the hallways as kids rushed to the open cafeteria. I actually welcomed it. I'd never been one for crowds.
I quietly walked over to the far table where Sean was sitting. He didn't even notice me at first. I cleared my throat before speaking.
"Mind if I sit down?"
Sean tensed up before looking at me. No doubt this was the last thing he was expecting today, but he seemed to welcome it.
"No. Please do." he answered.
I pulled out the chair beside him, feeling it slide easily on the carpeted floor, and glanced at the open book. Chemistry. That made me frown.
"How do you even begin getting that stuff?" I had to ask him.
"It's not that hard. It's more memorizing formulas and equations than anything." Sean responded. He sounded amused with my reaction.
"No. That's hard. I can't do any of that kind of math. It gives me headaches." I complained.
Sean chuckled, "That's probably because you're putting too much thought into them. Part of the thing about formulas is that they tend to be much simpler than they appear."
"If you say so," I relented, pushing my hair back over my shoulder. May as well ask him the things that I wanted to. We were the only ones in that corner of the library, so we wouldn't be overheard if we spoke softly enough, "Hey Sean, I did want to talk to you. If you don't mind."
"Sure." Sean agreed, although his voice sounded a little unsure.
I forced myself to speak, "Look, I've been thinking about a lot lately about everything that happened, and it's really bothered me that I haven't seen you anywhere in the last couple weeks."
"You didn't need to worry." Sean assured me, "I just needed to do some things, so I went ahead and took some time off."
I didn't miss how sad he sounded towards the end of that but decided not to say anything to it. Instead, I continued the conversation like I hadn't noticed.
"I know you probably did, but I still wanted to at least try to talk to you; and I didn't even get the chance to after Raziel came back because you were gone." I continued.
Sean nodded, "I understand. It probably would've been hard anyway, considering that Raziel's never really cared much for me."
"Yeah. I noticed that." I acknowledged, smiling in spite of myself, "But there were some things that I wanted to ask you about too. I just hope that you don't take them the wrong way."
"I won't. You can ask me whatever you like. I feel like I owe you at least that much." Sean told me.
Well, I thought, this is going easier than I'd thought it would.
I felt a certain comfort level there with him. Ever since what happened, I just felt so comfortable whenever I was around him. It was so strange, but I forced myself to try and ignore all of that and continued our conversation.
"I'll be the first one to admit that I'm kind of stupid about this whole thing. I didn't even know what I'm supposed to be until recently, and I feel like I don't know anything about people like you. Foxes, I mean."
"I see." Sean nodded, sitting back a little in his chair, "Well, to be completely honest with you, I don't know exactly where I should begin with that. I guess I could start with whatever you want to know about us. As I said, I owe you that much for allowing me to even be near you again, even if only for today."
I glanced around us again, but the library was still mostly empty, "Okay. Well, first off, why did you attack me?" I asked quietly. I couldn't believe I was saying that out loud now without shaking.
Sean looked down. I could see a pensive look cross his face.
"That was... my other nature." he admitted softly.
"Other nature?"
Sean sighed, forcing himself to look back at me, "It's not that I'd ever truly want to hurt you or anyone else. I never have. But because of what I've been born as, I've always carried the fox nature of harm. Most of the older, full blooded foxes are able to conquer that part of them with time and get along with other creatures, but I really hadn't yet. Until that day, that is."
"You mean when you fell to the ground and I supposedly broke you, right?"
"Yes." Sean acknowledged, "You must realize that something happened there to stop me, even if you don't exactly understand it. For me, it felt like my entire being was shattered in an instant, and then just as quickly, it was put back together. Only that terrible part of me that longed to hurt you was gone. It was like it had been swept away in the process. I've been trying to understand it myself for a while now, and I think I might have found at least some of the answers. However, they also have me puzzled."
He reached around to my back and felt my shoulder blades.
"What are you doing?" I asked, although I couldn't make myself move for the shock of it.
"I didn't think so. I wouldn't have imagined Michael being so angry if you'd had them. Not to mention the fact that you didn't understand my words about your family before." Sean surmised.
"Had what? Stop that!" I ordered, pulling back a little to make him stop.
"I'm sorry. I was talking about wings." Sean apologized.
So he knew about our wings. Well, there was one answer that I was looking for. I crossed my arms and sighed.
"No. I don't think I'm even close to getting them yet." I admitted.
"I see. Well, that makes it even more puzzling. How did you do it?" Sean mused, tapping his pencil on the table in a rhythmic motion.
"Do what?"
Sean chuckled, "Sorry. I have a bad habit of losing myself when a question bothers me enough. I'm talking about your abilities, or specifically, the ability that you used. You see, what happened that afternoon was not a chance thing, and looking into your father's background like I recently did, it made complete sense of how you managed to free me from myself like you did. In all honesty, I can see no other explanation. You're definitely a Breaker."
"A Breaker?"
Sean shook his head in what looked like disbelief at my confusion.
"Honestly now. Michael hasn't taught you much in the way of any of this, has he? I wonder what he's waiting for." he sighed, sounding exasperated.
"Don't start. Just tell me what you're talking about."
"Very well." Sean relented, "Let's see, what's the best way to describe this? Ah, here it is. I'm sure that you know a little bit about the workings of the mind, right?"
I nodded, "Somewhat."
"Well, a Breaker uses their abilities within the mind of those they target. It's a psychic ability at best. It allows the person using it to basically shatter the target's personality. But with a Breaker, there's also a step further in that. Some, like yourself and your father, can literally rebuild the personality at the same time. Think of it like making renovations. You've broken down something, then you've rebuilt it more to your liking. That is what a Breaker can do. However, it takes a powerful Breaker to rebuild a personality so much like it was before, but minus what was wrong with it in the first place." Sean explained.
I sat there and listened closely as he told me all of this. Some of it did make sense, but I couldn't imagine actually being able to shatter someone's personality as easily as I apparently had.
"So you're saying that I did all of that to you?" I finally said.
"Give or take, and I must admit, I don't think that it was the first time you've used the ability either. It was just too perfect. Tell me, have you ever met another in your life to where you felt in danger?" Sean asked.
I shook my head, "No. Not that I can remember." I lied.
In the back of my mind though, what I thought was a nightmare replayed briefly. When I was a child, I had dreamed that there was a scary old man in my room, who tried to come after me from under my bed. But somehow, I'd been able to will him away. Was it possible that this hadn't been just a nightmare after all?
Sean didn't seem to notice anything different with me. Instead, he was nodding and looking a bit thoughtful.
"I see. I just had to wonder if it would've been the same, or if perhaps a little bit different for you at an earlier age. But that's just my musing on the subject. I even find myself wondering at times if the one you did that to now would perhaps die for you because of it."
His words definitely got my attention.
"So you really think there would be someone out there that would die for me if I did that to them?" I asked.
Somehow, I didn't like hearing that one too much. Maybe it was because I had the feeling that I knew what he was alluding to.
"Of course. The truth is, I know I would now." Sean confessed. He gently laid a hand on mine.
"Sean..." I started, looking back at him and feeling myself blush.
I think that I knew then that there was something more with him. But I was almost scared to believe it. There was no way that was possible.
Sean let out a long breath as he looked at me, "Mia, I know that you haven't believed me about not harming you, but I mean every word I say with it. I could never do that again. Not to anyone, and especially not to you. The truth is, I've come to care very deeply about you, and it bothers me to think of anything happening to you now. I know what you are, and I know that you are above me in this life. But nothing will change these feelings either. I've come to realize that now." he softly told me.
I forced myself to look away, taking a long breath to keep my composure. I didn't know what to say to that one. I'd seen how he looked at me since what had happened, and I knew how he spoke to me since then.
But I still wasn't sure, especially at this point with all that had happened between us. Was this all because I'd broken him? That bothered me a little to think about. I didn't want someone to like me just because I'd forced them to.
I started to force myself to say something to it, but was interrupted by the sound of the bell ringing.
"Bad timing, as usual." Sean huffed, "I guess we should be getting to class. I don't think getting a write up would be good for either of us."
"Yeah." I agreed, allowing him to help me up.
The mood did feel a little bit lighter, but deep inside, I still felt unsure. I couldn't deny that I really wanted to know him more, but I also felt like I was going to be using him at this point if I tried.
Sean looked around us before speaking, "Would you mind if I walked you to class?"
I giggled. I betted that he'd been making sure that Raziel hadn't decided to come to school after all.
"Sure. Let's go." I agreed. It couldn't hurt anything to allow him this much, right?
I knew that people were looking as the two of us walked down that hallway from the library, but somehow, I couldn't make myself care. Instead, I kept myself close to him while I could. It was odd really. Somehow, it just felt like home now being there with him.
Sean stopped at the door as we reached the classroom.
"I guess I'll see you around Mia. Thanks for speaking to me again." he said, sounding genuinely happy.
"Sure. Maybe we can talk again soon." I suggested. I turned to go into the classroom, but suddenly, something else came into my mind, "Hey Sean?" I spoke up, turning around to face him again.
"Yes?" Sean answered, not bothering to move yet.
"Do you... think I'd use you?" I couldn't help but ask.
His answer would haunt me for the rest of the day.
"It wouldn't matter."