Waking up every day is more like a necessity in my world, and nothing more. Long ago, I would have long committed suicide had it not been for the fact I can't do that, not if I want to have a peaceful rest in the land of the dead.
My stepmother will personally make sure I don't get any rest there at all. She'll surely make sure of that.
"What are you going to eat today?" Marli asked the moment I walk into the kitchen.
"Nothing special. Just the usual." Shrugging, I. walk towards the sink.
"Why? There must be something you want." She says in an insistent tone. " You must have something you want."
"No one cares about what I want, Marli. Even if I say it, I won't get it. " Washing my hands, I dry them.
" I'll make sure I cook them to your taste. Just tell me the meal you want to have, and I'll make it for you. "
" Anything is okay. " Smiling at her, I walk out of the kitchen.
I don't care what I eat anymore, as it doesn't change anything.
There was a time I was too eager to know my meals, too eager to have my favourite meals cooked almost every day, but not now.
Nothing makes sense to me anymore. Nothing moves me at all.
Things are just the same to me. Everything is just bleak.
Living to me right now is merely just a necessity.
*
Taking a stroll through the gigantic compound, I tried to imagine myself in a place similar to this in physical appearance, but one that has a lot of love in it.
One that's not as cold as this one.
A little love sprinkled here and there can go a long way into making this place more lively and homely, but there's no love to make it so.
My love isn't enough to transform a place, after all, it's said two heads are far better than one.
"Sir Lee, you need anything?" One of the bodyguards my so-called husband had stationed at the poolside asked the moment he saw me.
" Must I always need anything whenever I decide to take a walk?" I raise a questioning brow at him.
" Not really."
" And that answers your question."
" You're out to take a stroll, then?" He slowly asked for fear of making me angry.
"What else does it look like I am doing?" Raising a brow at him, I sit on the bench.
The pool in Sly's home is built in such a way it looks more like a stream.
With three large trees surrounding the area, and the blue rim of the edge, it looks more like a stream than a personal pool.
"I'll leave you here then." Bowing lowly to me, he leaves.
"Good riddance." Sighing in relief, I remove the clothes I am putting on.
Wearing only a boxer brief, I enter the soothing, but cold water.
Currently, this is what my soul needs. Something bitty and cold to remind me of my existence on planet Earth.
Swimming first, I decide to float around a little. This way I can be able to fully relax without doing anything.
Closing my eyes as I face the setting sun, I decide to meditate a little as I allow the water to carry me wherever, it, pleases.
Had this been a public stream, I would have been afraid of the current taking me with it, but this place isn't a public stream, it's a private one; I have no reason to fear being taken by the current.
*
Opening my eyes when I got tired of the float, I got startled when I see the person sitting on the same bench I sat on before I decided to swim.
Still putting on the same suit he wore when he left the house, I can tell he just came back from work and headed to this place.
"Sly? You here you swim?"
I've never seen him swimming in this pool, but there's nothing to tell whether he swims or not. I'm clueless when it comes to some basic facts about my husband.
Facts that should have been known by me, but he never told me, and there's no way for me to know since he won't talk to me about anything.
"No I'm not. I came to check if you've decided to drown yourself." He said in that cold, indifferent voice.
The tone of voice is colder than the water. The tone alone made me shiver in fright as I thought of what he might do if he should get angry with me.
"You're… You're. You're back already?" I swallow deeply.
"What? You don't want me to be back?" He raised a brow.
"It's not that."
" You can continue with your lazy swimming, since that's what you love doing." He gives me a look indecipherable look," After all, this is the reason you decided to marry me." Giving me a last stink look, he heads back to the house.
He went back the way he came, but he took something of me with him.
He broke my heart more than he did before.
In a way, he's calling me a gold digger, and that must be the reason he hates me.
He thinks I agreed to this arrangement for his wealth, but that's not the truth at all.
I Am stuck in this marriage all because of my stepmother, who doesn't seem to be content with what she has.
Getting me married off to the richest man in the entire city is what she considers a stepping stone.
To her, I'm nothing more than access to greater things.
Should I have been given the choice, I would have taken attending school over him.
At least it wouldn't have any need to worry about what he thinks of me.
Who knows, I might be having the time of my life with my best friend, who probably thought I ditched her for some man.
Only if there's a way to tell her the truth, and stop her from hating me.