Rai's Point of View
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Again, something's off. I've been feeling it for a while now, and it's hard to put into words. Something is shifting inside me when it comes to Nsomi. It's not something I can easily describe—just a deep, unshakable feeling that I can't seem to rid myself of. It's like something inside me has snapped or been broken, like a crack inside my chest that I can't undo. This strange, gnawing sensation has been with me ever since I learned the truth about her. The truth that her time is running out, that she probably only has a few more years, or maybe even months, to live.
It's all too much for me to comprehend, and I can't seem to shake the suffocating grip it has on my chest. I keep trying to ignore it, to push it aside, but it's getting harder to do that. Every moment feels like a countdown, and I feel it more deeply than I want to admit. It's like a constant weight pressing down on me, making it hard to breathe, hard to think clearly. And when I heard about what that damn bastard Daisuke did to her, when I heard that he threw her against a wall, my heart stopped. I couldn't even process it.
My body froze up, and my stomach twisted into knots. How could he hurt her like that? How could he do something so cruel to her? I felt like I couldn't breathe, like the world around me just paused for a moment.
I've been around her for most of the month, visiting her whenever I could, coming and going to check on her, to see if she was getting any better. I've been making sure that nothing has gotten worse, trying to convince myself that she's okay, that things will be fine. But deep down, I know it's all just a facade. Doctor Hov promised me that he wouldn't tell her anything about her condition, and I made him swear it. I trusted him. But every time I leave her side, it feels like I'm suffocating. I can't escape the uncertainty that wraps around me, tightening with every passing moment.
It's like I'm choking on the very thought of what might happen next. What if she dies while I'm not there? What if it happens when I'm not around to stop it, to do something? What if I can't save her?
She could die today. Or tomorrow. Or in a week. I can't stop thinking about it, and it makes me sick. I don't want to believe it, but it's getting harder to ignore. No matter how much I try to push it away, that truth keeps creeping up on me. The very thought of losing her, the thought of never seeing her again, fills me with an emptiness I can't escape. It's a hole that I can't fill, no matter what I do.
It's not like I've stopped hating her. I still do. That's not something I can just forget, not something I can just throw away. That feeling of anger, of bitterness, hasn't gone away. It's still there, deep inside me, gnawing at me, festering. But every time someone mentions the possibility of her dying—of her not being around anymore—something shifts inside me. I don't want to admit it, but it's there. A feeling I can't ignore. A feeling that twists inside my stomach, a feeling that makes me recoil. A strange sickness settles deep in my gut. I hate it. But it's there. It's real.
Maybe that's why I rushed to Doctor Hov's chambers with the nurse, without even thinking about it. Maybe that's why I had to go, to see for myself, to know just how bad the damage Daisuke caused really was. I couldn't sit by and pretend I didn't care.
When I got there, my anxiety only grew. I arrived to find them in her chambers. The nurse entered first, and I froze just outside the door, my feet unable to move. I had to see her, even if I didn't want to. I couldn't stop myself from looking. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing away from me, only wearing a top. The sight made my stomach twist, but what caught my attention the most was the massive dark purple bruise across her back. It stretched across the space between her shoulder blades, an ugly mark that made my blood run cold. It wasn't just the bruise that alarmed me, though. No, it was the swelling on her left ribcage that had my heart pounding in my chest. I could tell from the way she winced that it was bad.
"I told you to be careful! You aren't 100% yet, Thya!" Doctor Hov's voice cracked with concern, his words filled with worry. "How did you get hurt like this? You have two broken ribs, Thya. This isn't something to ignore!"
His words were a punch to the gut. I wanted to scream, to yell at her, to ask her why she let this happen to herself. But I couldn't move. I couldn't say anything. I just stood there, frozen, my eyes glued to the scene in front of me. I didn't know what to think, how to make sense of what I was seeing.
"I'm okay, Hov," Nsomi's voice was soft, but there was something in it—something like resignation. "My death may be near, but it's not going to happen today."
Those words—those damn words—sent a shiver down my spine. I moved back instinctively, pressing myself further into the shadows so they wouldn't see me.
"Daisuke acted on impulse and threw me to that damned wall," she continued, her voice laced with bitterness. "He must hate me so much to get some sick enjoyment out of hurting me like this." She laughed bitterly, and the sound of it made my stomach churn. "I'm tired, Hov," she added quietly, her voice trembling now, like she was fighting back tears. "I miss Avy. If... If she were here, none of this would be happening. Maybe I wouldn't be dying so soon. Or maybe I would."
That last part hit me hard. The sadness in her voice was unbearable, and it struck me in a way I didn't expect. I felt my chest tighten, and I had to fight to keep my breathing steady. I couldn't make a sound, couldn't let them know I was there. But the pain was sharp.
"Wouldn't it be better if you told them how long you still have, child?" Doctor Hov asked gently, his tone filled with a quiet understanding. "It might help you, to let them know the truth."
Wait, does he know? I thought she hadn't told anyone about her condition, but now it seemed like she had trusted him with her secret. That realization hit me like a slap. My mind spun with the possibility that this was all slipping away from me—slipping from everyone.
"No, Hov," Nsomi's response was quick, defensive. "They would just torture me. They'd drag it out, make me suffer. I can't give them that. They all want to see me dead." Her voice faltered as she spoke the last part, and the bitterness in her laugh cut through me like a blade. "I bet they'd be pissed to know they only have less than two years to direct all their anger and hatred at me."
Less than two years?
Less than two years...
The words hit me like a punch to the gut. Less than two years? That's all she had left? How could this be true? It felt like the ground was slipping away beneath me. I could barely hold myself together. My hands trembled as the realization sank in. I didn't know how to process it. The truth was too much.
I had been told she had 52 years left. That's what everyone thought, what everyone believed. But now, it wasn't 52 years. It was less than two.
I couldn't breathe. The weight of it was crushing me. I couldn't make sense of it. I wasn't supposed to care. But I did. I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't shut it out. The pain in my chest was unbearable, and I had no idea what to do with it. I wanted to scream.
I didn't know what to do, but I had to do something.
Before I could think, my body moved on its own. My mind was still reeling, but my body was acting, instinctively carrying me to the Crown Prince. I couldn't let him know what I'd just heard, couldn't let anyone else know. Not yet. Not until I figured out what to do with this knowledge that was tearing me apart.
I found out from a guard that Daisuke had gone to meet his parents in the garden of the Queen's castle. Without another thought, I ran. I didn't stop to think about how exhausted I was, how much my body ached. I just ran. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my breath was ragged as I pushed myself faster, further. I could feel the world around me moving too slowly. I had to get there.
When I arrived, I could barely stand. My legs buckled beneath me, and I collapsed in front of the Royal Family. My breath came in short gasps, and my chest tightened with the exertion.
"Your Majesties, please," I gasped, trying to catch my breath. My voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. "Please reconsider Nsomi's participation in the trials!" My voice was hoarse from the running, and my chest was tight from the exertion. I could barely catch my breath, but the words spilled out of me in desperation.
"Get up," I heard Daisuke's voice, cold and commanding. It made my blood boil, but I forced myself to hide it. This asshole had caused all of this, hadn't he?
When I looked up, I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes. I focused on the King and Queen instead. "Please, your majesties, I beg you to reconsider!"
I didn't know what else to say. I didn't know how else to stop them from sending her into that trial, where I feared she might die even sooner.