I had a light-pink blindfold on, this time, and my dress matched. Honestly, I don't like wearing dresses. Maybe it's because I've grown so used to spending most of my time on the training grounds, where I'm dressed in sweatshirts, trousers, and boots. That's my style, or at least it was before all of this. But only my family and Avy knew that, the ones who actually understood the way I felt about it.
They kept it to themselves, never telling anyone outside our family, constantly making up excuses like, "It could taint our image" or "It's not proper for someone of your position." It was always some excuse to keep up appearances, as though my comfort and personal preferences didn't matter. The world outside expected me to look a certain way, and I had to conform to that, whether I liked it or not.
But it's not like I absolutely hate dressing up. It's not that extreme. I don't mind it when I'm not forced to do it all the time. I get it, I really do. I understand why I need to maintain a polished image for the sake of the family. The image is important—especially with all the power dynamics at play, the politics, and the expectations. It's just that I'm tired of it. The constant reminder that I have to look a certain way whenever I step out of our territory starts to weigh on me.
It's like the moment I leave the house, I'm trapped in a costume, something that doesn't represent who I truly am, and I'm expected to wear it, not just for the benefit of my own comfort, but for the world to see. Honestly, if I had a choice, I would gladly choose not to wear dresses. At least not every single time I go out of our territory. It just gets old, and it's annoying to have to slip into something that feels so foreign every time I leave the comfort of home. It's all about maintaining an image, but it doesn't feel like me.
As I was getting into the carriage, my brothers and Rai's best friend, Elodie Aoife Branwen—she's known as the wealthy and radiant white crow, daughter of Duchess Branwen—stopped me. It seemed like she had some idea that she should join me, and before I could even protest, she got into the carriage. "How childish!" I muttered under my breath, the annoyance clear in my voice. The nerve of her, honestly. They all just stared at me, unaffected, as though nothing was wrong.
"What's wrong with you now?" Elodie asked, her voice dripping with condescension. But beneath the sarcasm, there was something else. Almost like a suppressed undercurrent of fear that she tried too hard to hide. She sat on my right, attempting to maintain some kind of superiority, but I could feel the unease radiating off her. It wasn't something she could conceal that easily.
I let out a laugh. It wasn't warm or friendly; it was sharp and acidic, the kind of laugh that might make someone's skin crawl. "I'm not blind, dummy!" I said, my voice colder than ice, sharper than I intended. "You think I don't notice? I can't see how you look, but I can sense your energy. It's not that hard to figure out when someone's staring at you. So yeah, stop it. Or I swear, I'll go out without this damn thing covering my eyes."
At my words, Elodie quickly scooted a little further away from me, trying to create some space, like she was trying to distance herself from the threat that she felt. I couldn't help but smile a little, watching her squirm. It was honestly quite amusing. The funny thing was, while most people seemed to hate me, Elodie wasn't angry with me. She wasn't irritated or spiteful. No, she was scared of me. And that, in its own way, felt almost more fitting than anything else.
Both my brothers made an annoyed sound at the same time. They were used to this by now—the way I didn't hold back. The sound only served to irritate me even further, but I didn't let it show. Without saying anything more, I turned to the knight who was driving the carriage and ordered him to head toward Soleil Keeper.
"What are you planning to do there, Nsomi?" Aeneas asked me, his tone thick with suspicion. He couldn't hide the wariness in his voice. It was like he was waiting for me to make some kind of move that would betray my true intentions. He had already made up his mind about what I was up to.
I didn't even acknowledge the question. "That's none of your business!" I shot back, my voice cold and unwavering, as if daring him to challenge me further.
Rai, always eager to show off his "wisdom," jumped in with his usual air of self-satisfaction. "She's probably going to try speaking with the Queen and the King so she doesn't have to participate in the Crown Princess Trials," he said, as though he knew exactly what I was planning. His tone was smug, full of self-importance.
I didn't even blink at his words. I kept my face neutral, stoic, my emotions locked away behind a well-maintained mask. "I don't even know why they're letting me participate, after what I did to Avy," I said, my voice carrying an undercurrent of anger. Hearing Aeneas mention Avy hit me like a punch to the gut. My teeth clenched, and I could feel my fists tightening as the anger bubbled up inside me.
"Obviously, that's the Crown Prince's doing," Rai added, his voice dripping with bitterness. "He's not going to let her get away, especially after everything she did to her sister." His words were like a slap in the face, each one landing with a cruel precision. My heart twisted, and for a split second, I wanted to scream. But I didn't. Instead, I just let a sinister smirk slowly creep across my lips.
I slowly, deliberately undid the tie on my blindfold, letting it slide off my eyes. The light hit me harshly, and I had to blink rapidly to adjust. The change in the atmosphere was instant. "Gods above," Elodie gasped, her voice filled with shock. She immediately covered her eyes with her hands, as though my gaze might burn her or something.
I couldn't resist mocking her. "What a scared lady you are," I said, turning my attention to my brothers. They weren't happy, their faces tense with frustration. It was almost like I could see them biting their tongues, trying to keep from reacting too harshly, but it didn't matter. Their annoyance was clear.
"Put that thing back!" They shouted in unison, their voices full of frustration. They were rattled, but they couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't help but enjoy their discomfort, just a little.
"No!" I shot back without hesitation. "I told you I'd do it if you didn't stop staring at me. But you kept doing it, and you kept talking about things you don't fucking understand!" My words hung in the air, sharp and cutting, like blades. They didn't know how to respond.
Both of them clenched their jaws in anger, their frustration reaching a boiling point. I could see their annoyance, feel the tension in the air, but neither of them dared to push it any further. This time, they knew better.
I turned my attention back to Elodie, who had started trembling beside me. She was shaking in her seat, clearly sensing the change in my demeanor. I watched her face twist in fear as I focused on her. "Please, look away," she begged, her voice trembling. "Don't look at me. I don't want you to know anything."
Her desperation was almost delightful. I didn't immediately respond, enjoying the way she quivered in her seat, feeling the fear radiating off her. It was hard not to feel a little pleased with the effect I had on her.
"Stop it, Nsomi!" Rai shouted, his voice desperate now, pleading almost. "Stop it, damn it! You're scaring her!" He wasn't even concerned about me anymore. His anger had shifted toward me, and I could see it in his eyes. He was furious, but it wasn't directed at Elodie—no, it was all aimed at me. And I loved it.
I ignored him, completely and utterly. His words meant nothing to me now. Elodie's shaking intensified beside me, and I knew she had reached her limit. But if she couldn't handle it, that was her problem, not mine. I wasn't going to apologize, I wasn't going to stop.
Leaning back against the seat, I let the tension build, feeling the power of control slipping back into my hands. The more they squirmed, the more I felt like I was finally in the right place. The power I had over them, over this situation, was mine to hold. And I wasn't going to let go.