I lay on the bed with my face turned away from Erika. Right now, I'm still not ready to face her. I just hope she leaves soon because now I'm so nervous.
"Rasyid, can I ask you?! How could you know that old lady?!" Erika snapped at me.
I kept silent.
"I heard about rumors, that the mayor's subordinate is a wild fighter. Where they always bet with a big-money, were you like that back then?"
It seems that the rumors that Erika heard were false rumors about me, in fact, I was Nova's executioner. My job is to eliminate anyone who threatens the power of that old lady. From princes, women, or children, all of their lives will be finished if they become threat to her.
'I can't say that'
I slowly looked at Erika but still with lowering my head.
"Hmmm(nods slowly), I used to be a wild fighter. Fighting for money, that was the only thing I could think of that day. Then, my brother introduced me to Nova. He said she needed a bodyguard, and because of my popularity as a wild fighter was only known by the one who did bet. Nova put her trust in me. Since then, I have worked as her subordinate," I lied.
Erika was surprised and put on a pitiful face after hearing my lie.
"How could you say that... so easily..."
"How could you lie to me like that!" Erika shouted at me.
"Why do you always lie to everyone?! Every day, I always watch over you. Your face always puts on a fake face! Every day you always show a different face, but nothing is real. I know what you're doing because I've experienced it!" She scold me loudly, and tears fell from her eyes.
"I apologize..." my voice was low
"Why didn't you tell me your problem? Wasn't that what you told me so I told you about my past?"
Erika wipes her tears, she will seriously chase after me even if I run to the end of the world.
I touched my chin to think about the story I was about to give.
"I hope you're not lying anymore..." Her eyes were blank but serious.
For some reason, I felt guilty after lying to her. Whereas in the past, when I slaughtered and crushed someone's feelings, I felt satisfied.
"I just hope, there aren't any green-haired students nearby." I sighed.
"Green hair? Do you mean Moka? Why?" Erika asked.
"Here's the story..."
It all started when I entered high school. A friendship that was shattered by lust.
In middle school, I was a loner. No one can be friends with me because I'm too quiet. Until I ran into a problem, I realized that I needed a friend to help me. But I can't, I don't have that.
When I was in high school, I tried to make friends. The only one I can talk to is my seatmate.
"Um... Hi." I greeted my classmate.
"Ha...?"
At first, his expression was one of confusion, but he quickly noticed my condition. He smiled at me and tried to shake my hand.
"Jauhari, I go to school here because it's close to my house. I just have to cross the road and I'll be arriving." He said that proudly but looked ridiculous.
He's the opposite of me, he's a good friend.
"Rasyid, my house is a bit far from here. Have to take a bus to arrive." I take his hand.
Through Jauhari's help, I started to make friends with my classmates. But for friends that I can consider friends are only two people. He(Jauhari) and... Farhan, Moka's eldest brother.
"Wait?! You're friends with Moka's sister?!" Erika ended my story in surprise.
I nodded. "The three of us were always together at school."
When we entered 3rd-year, I got a girlfriend. Her name is Rosa, she is a cheerful, kind, and helpful woman. I felt lucky at that time because I had a girlfriend who could cover my weakness.
But all that changed when semester break is coming.
I came home and found both my parents died and already buried without telling me. My brother who saw my return immediately whispered something to me.
'I will make him pay for what he's done!'
Rizki left me alone at home without saying anything more clearly.
The semester break passed without any news from both of my brothers. I went to school with a blank face, not knowing what to do.
"Hello, Syid! I miss you!" Rosa hugged me from behind shamelessly watched by other students.
"What are you doing?! This is embarrassing!" I blushed sinking into his arms.
"Let it be. I want to hug you until to class!" She smiled sweetly.
-----------------------------------
After school, I went to see Jauhari because he said he wanted to tell me something. We sat side by side in the school garden.
"Why did you call me?" I asked blankly.
"Now, we rarely get together these days. Our group is split, I can still let you because you have a girlfriend. But Farhan has become stranges lately. I'm sure he has evil plans." Jauhari's face sharpened seriously.
"Are you sure? He was a very nice person, moreover, he is a class clown. There is no way Farhan will do anything bad, maybe it's just a family matter." I object to it.
"I really have a feeling that he has a very bad plan for one of us!" Jauhari stood squealing at me.
thump!
The sound of a punch hit Jauhari's cheek. The blow came from me. I looked down at him. "How dare you say that to your own best friend. How could he will do something bad!" Because annoyed, I left Jauhari who was still lying on the ground.
While in the hallway of the school terrace, someone called me. "Rasyid! Let's go home together!" Rosa hugged me from behind.
"Sorry I want to be alone right now." I let go of her arm and walked home alone.
My hate for Jauhari is still in me, my mood is still broken. Walking with Rosa would hurt her instead, so I declined her invitation.
That's when I realized, Rosa hugged me while shaking her hands and shedding tears. The two of us had very little time.
Until graduation, Rosa called me and asked me to go to an unused school building. I'm sure she's asking to end this not-clear relationship. My heart hardens to face this.
Since morning for some reason, my hand feels like it's been injected. This is what is called pain when parting with my friends. Moreover, the separation of a feeling.
While walking to the designated place, Jauhari called me and ran toward me. "Rasyid! ha...ha...ha..., finally caught up." He was tired from running.
"Why are you, suddenly calling me." The feeling of annoyance at that time still surrounds me.
"Do not go!"
"Why did you suddenly forbid me? Are you still bringing up that matter?!"
"Not this time-
"Sorry, there's an important thing to do!"
I left him.
"Hey listen to me!" He shout at me, but I ignored it.
I walked into the class, the dark atmosphere was perfect for casual wear.
thump!
A bat hit me hard in the head and make me instantly faint.
When I woke up. I heard Farhan's voice was heard.
"You're finally awake." His voice is happy.
I woke up and saw Rosa and Farhan were doing a thing in front of me. I immediately widened my eyes in surprise. My body being bounded makes me unable to do anything.
"What did you do to Rosa, Farhan!" I shouted at him.
"Just playing. See, Rosa is enjoying it too." Farhan said that while playing with Rosa's body.
"Rasyid, I'm sorry. But right now, I can't hold it. I'm gone too far." Rosa said something obscene in front of me.
A terrible transformation. Rosa who was originally a cheerful girl became a prostitute in front of me right now.
"Farhan! I will destroy you!"
"But what can you do now?"
"Shit! Fuck you!"
I kept trying to free myself from the ropes, but nothing happen.
"Just give up and watch me end it with Farhan!" Rosa said that while showing her final blow.
A feeling inside of me suddenly rose. I was severely traumatized and lost all my confidence. Since then, I don't care about the world anymore. I don't want to deal with women anymore.
At the same time as that incident, the phenomenon called 'Summer of Fire' happened.
That thing burns those two people in front of me without a trace. My consciousness disappeared a few moments after the incident, I couldn't bear to look any further.
I woke up in my room with no one around me.
I walked out, a tv is turned on with no one watching it. The TV broadcast the latest news.
"'Summer of Fire' phenomenon has taken many lives. Many say that it is just a political business for a person called Nova. From the data we got, it was found that all the victims of this phenomenon were people who refused to use her(Nova) Anitya." The news anchor used his typical tone when delivering the news.
A woman lying dead and being censored appeared in the news broadcast. My laughter accidentally came out when it happen. I was broke because of that incident.
So Rosa and Farhan also died because at that time they refused to inject Anitya.
GRAK!
The sound of the door opening from outside.
"Oh, so you're awake... how are your feeling?." Someone asked how I was.
"Jauhari... why are you here?"
Jauhari should hate me now, but he still helps me even though I have ignored him.
"Everything you said is true. I was to fool for not listening to what you had to say." I cried blankly looking at Jauhari.
The man smiled to reassure me.
"It's okay, the most important thing is how you feel right now."
"I'm scared..., every time I think of someone who looks like Rosa's character and then they got an unfortunate event. I got a laugh so hard and feel very satisfied." I said that without realizing that I was smiling madly.
Jauhari immediately turned his body and went back, but before leaving, he said something to me. "Sooner or later, you're going to have to heal your mental problem. If you don't, it's going to end badly for you. You can talk to me if you're having trouble." Jauhari walks out after saying that.
BRAKK
Jauhari shuts the door from outside.
I whispered to myself. "You think it's easy?! Who needs something shit called love, I don't even care what happens to this world anymore."
Since then I only met him to talk. He listened to all my complaints without complaining about the weird thing. He continued to do that even after he was married and had his own business.
Until death take his life, I couldn't fulfill my promise to him. All I did was take his word for it.
Back to this time.
Erika covered her mouth with both of her hands. She was surprised after hearing my story. Although I didn't explain everything, but it was enough. There are still a lot of things I don't tell.
Erika suddenly hugged me tightly.
"Why are you just keeping quiet about this?! If you've been in deep pain all this time." Erika is crying.
I couldn't believe what I saw. The first time, apart from Jauhari. People cry after hearing it. Usually, they even laugh at me because of my inability to solve problems.
This time it was different, she cried for me. I couldn't fight any further. "Erika..." My eyes glanced at Erika who hugged me tightly. Tears fell from my eyes.
"Harghhh!"
For the first time, I couldn't help but cry. Water kept flowing from my eyes nonstop. My left hand holding the blade of ice unconsciously descended on its own.
I was already one step ahead of understanding what my brother and Jauhari meant.
Be a normal human with feelings.
That night, Erika and I kept hugging until Erika accidentally fell asleep in my arms. I released her warmly and lifted her onto the sofa near the room.
I smiled at her.
"Thank you."