When I am going ahead, all my friends are following me and I am the courage to my pack but what if they came to know that I am fearing a lot for the situation? But they do not know yet that I am afraid.
Somehow I can manage not to show my afraidness to them. What would happen to the pack if they knew that?
I do not understand why it is so scary. I can not control myself, being a werewolf and being so scared is a big shame to our race.
All I know is that this is just because of the love I have for her and for my baby who is growing in her womb. Now in my mind, there was nothing else but her gags, I was reminded of the sweetness I had spent with her, slowly I was going into my past as I am following the path deep into the jungle.
On the other hand, my friends do not understand what I am thinking in my mind but are following me blindly unable to dare to ask me what happened to me and what I have been thinking in me?.
Because they understood so well that I was so outraged, they knew that I would not hesitate to take their own lives without reluctance if anyone moved me at this moment or irritated me.
Still, one of my friends is unable to leave me alone like that, Aurob from my pack who is a close friend of mine has been trying for a long time to discuss with me the situation which we are going to handle shortly. That thing makes a lot of sense to me.
"Bardolf, I know how you feel at this moment but if you share a little with us they will diminish from your mind as well as from your heart dear.
I can understand how much pain you have in your mind, no matter what you fear, we will all save your fiance anyway. Because she's now even pregnant too, and we could not leave her alone at this moment.
She needs a lot of support from you after this abduction, because in my view she was already in fear of that big werewolf.
Anyway, let's all fight with him in a group, win, save her, and take her back home safely" He implied me so bravely but he leaned down his head with fear that how would I react to him after listening to his words. Because they know very well that I do not like it at all if anyone spoke about her in front of me.
I might change into a cruel beast if someone dares to do it. I don't know why but, I speak for everyone in our pack freely but I get angry very easily in me if anyone speaks for Marilyn.
I think it's just because of the change in our races, if someone speaks about the races and differentiates them, then I would not endure it even though they are very close to me.
Even though my friend is discussing with me, I am wandering into a different world, I am in a situation where I can not even give him a reply too. Not a single word came out of my mouth to answer him in a tight tension situation.
With that Aurob came up to me, he shrugged slowly with fear and tried to comfort me. Even though I was not in a position to listen to anyone, my heart was full of tragedy. I feel like I am in a null function now.
I had some crazy thoughts in my mind as if there was no one else in this world except me as if I was living alone, wandering in this forest like a madman without food or shelter.
My whole pack started talking to me, those words were bordering my ears but not reaching inside them.
When I could not say anything, most of the people were confused about what had happened to me. Aurob started pressing my shoulder tightly with his hand and started stroking me at once, by calling me "Bardolf… Bardolf…".
Then I regained consciousness in me and stared him straight into his eyes. My eyes suddenly turned red with anger on one side and a painful situation on the other side.
Aurob saw me at once and he hugged me tight with fear with the small hope that I would get some control over myself. But what my friends do not know is that anger, warmth, aggression, and pain do not subside in me until I find Marilyn.